A gust of wind blew and whisked snowflakes against his cheeks. He straightened and pulled his coat tighter around himself, fighting the urge to shiver. Kali stepped in close to him.

  The wind died away. Jasper began to walk. Kali trotted along behind him.

  His feet crunched through the thick snow, his footsteps slow. They had been slow since the accident. Walking took more effort now. Everything took more effort since the accident.

  The healer had come to their home the day he’d fallen and landed in the pond. He had examined Jasper. He’d cleaned Jasper’s scrapes and minor wounds and prescribed him elothea seed tea. He’d said Jasper would be fine after a few days of rest.

  Months later and Jasper still was not fine.

  His whole body ached. He grew tired quickly. He had constant headaches. He often felt nauseous, light-headed, or dizzy. With only a little exertion, his heart would race and he’d struggle to breathe.

  Even though the healer had been wrong about Jasper’s recovery, at least the elothea tea provided some relief. The healer had no idea why Jasper hadn’t recovered. No one knew why.

  Leo and Grady suggested finding a new healer.

  Jasper wasn’t interested.

  A healer won’t help me. I am certain that the answer to what is going on is here, in the forest. I can feel it in my blood. In my bones. It’s here. I know it is here!

  Jasper inhaled the frigid air, letting it fill his lungs. Strangely, he could breathe easier in the forest. He ached less too, he could walk easier, and he tired less quickly. He was not his old self. But he was stronger here.

  But why? None of it made any sense. It was all a fucking mystery.

  The answer has to be here!

  Jasper kept walking and looking around. But what exactly was he searching for? Or more specifically, who? Because Jasper couldn’t shake the feeling he was searching for someone. He’d felt like that since waking after his accident.

  Jasper walked on, no idea where he headed. He just kept going onwards, propelled by a never-ending restlessness and need that consumed him. He rubbed at his chest, directly over his heart, as if that would soothe the constant yearning burning inside him and pushing him onwards.

  He always needed. Always yearned. Always pined.

  But what did he need? Who did he yearn and pine for?

  Jasper stopped walking. He exhaled, and it fogged the air.

  Kali nudged him. She’d been by his side since the accident. She’d followed him home. Then followed him around his apartment. She’d lain beside him in his bed. Then come with him to the forest or the bakery or wherever he went. It had seemed only natural that Jasper make her his familiar.

  “Just a little longer.” Jasper glanced down at Kali. “We’ll stay out just a little longer and then go home.”

  He could sense Kali’s concern and protectiveness through the witch-familiar bond.

  “I just feel that there is something out here.” Jasper waved at the forest. “If I could just find it, then everything would be okay again. I’d be well again. I’d be my old self.”

  Everything would go back to normal, including his relationship with Leo. And the never-ending ache and restlessness inside him would finally stop. He could finally be at peace. He could sleep properly.

  Because at the moment, his dreams were filled with him wandering and searching the forest. But sometimes in his dreams, he found what he was looking for. And in sleep, for a moment he’d feel complete. Safe. Warm. Loved.

  Then he’d wake. And he couldn’t remember what it was he’d found or that had made him feel whole again. He’d lie awake in bed, trying to recall, as if that would be a clue to what he was searching for in the forest.

  “Just a little longer,” he said once more.

  They continued. Now Jasper came out into the forest almost every day, regardless of the weather, trying to find answers to a question he didn’t know.

  Closing his eyes, Jasper paused. He took several deep breaths. He just wanted to rest. But he couldn’t. Not with the constant longing gnawing at his insides.

  “I’m so fucking tired,” he said aloud to the frosty air.

  Kali bumped her head against his calf and rubbed her tail against him. Then she trotted ahead in the direction of Anorra. She stopped and turned back towards him. She gave a short, sharp bark. Her ears twitched.

  “I know. We should head back.” The sky had started to darken. He needed to go home.

  But what if he stayed out just a couple more minutes and found what he’d been searching for for months?

  Kali barked again. Jasper sighed. She was right. He should head back. Because even though he had more energy in the forest, he was still so fucking weak.

  “I’m coming.” Jasper followed her. But he glanced around furtively, desperate for a glimpse of…something. Or someone.

  He let out a bitter laugh. Sometimes he felt like he was going mad.

  It felt like the accident had opened up a void inside him. A gaping, urgent need. Jasper just couldn’t work out how to fill it. But he was certain it was someone and he’d find that someone here in the forest.

  He glanced back. He froze, eyes narrowing.

  What was that?

  For half a second, he swore he’d seen a large shadow moving amongst the bare tree trunks. He held his breath. Jasper strode in the direction he’d seen movement, heart thumping against his ribcage.

  He reached the spot.

  Nothing.

  Had it been a trick of the light? He glanced at the ground. Hoof-prints marked the otherwise pristine snow.

  Probably just a reindeer.

  He looked around. But he saw no sign of the creature. Still, something niggled in the back of his mind, telling him it was no reindeer. But what, then?

  Sometimes he felt like his mind played tricks. Like he saw shadows and movement in his peripheral vision. But when he came closer, nothing was ever there.

  Kali came up beside him.

  “I don’t even know what I’m looking for.” Jasper glanced at Kali, who stared ahead. Her ears flicked back. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

  They turned and walked towards Anorra. And as they left the forest, he once again felt like he was leaving a part of himself behind.

  Chapter

  Four

  That was too close.

  The krampus crouched. He peered between branches. He watched the human walk onwards through the forest in the direction of the city.

  I got too close. He almost saw me. I shouldn’t have allowed that to occur!

  After several minutes, Kraghol slinked forward and continued to follow the human, this time ensuring he kept back.

  I need to keep my distance.

  But keeping his distance was so hard when every fibre of his being demanded he stay close to Jasper. He crept forward, careful to remain silent and hidden. As the human and fox approached the city, the shadows of the trees grew longer. Which was good. It made it easier to keep out of sight.

  Perhaps he should not follow Jasper like this. Perhaps he should just leave him be.

  But the need inside Kraghol rose into his throat and choked him until he couldn’t breathe. He could always sense when Jasper approached the forest. The human’s presence called to Kraghol’s very core.

  He had tried to resist it. Tried to stay away, knowing that would be what was best for the both of them. But how could he? How could he not go to Jasper? At least this way he could see him.

  And what if something happened to Jasper in the forest? There were creatures here who would and could harm him. Or what if another accident befell Jasper? Kraghol must be there to save him if need be. So he had to stay close. For Jasper’s sake.

  Kraghol would never forgive himself if something happened to Jasper in the forest.

  After all, this is all my fault. Jasper would not be coming to the forest if not for me. But what else should I have done?

  A few months ago, he’d seen the human fall, crashing down the side of the hill before landing in the pond. Kraghol had sprinted to the water’s edge, staring into the depths. Below he could just see the human thrashing. But the man had not swum towards the surface. The thrashing had stopped.

  Without a moment’s hesitation, Kraghol had dived in. He’d swum and pulled Jasper out.

  The man had been so small and frail in his arms. He’d not been breathing. So Kraghol had saved the human, the only way he’d known how. He’d not even been sure if it would work at the time. But it had.

  He had done what he needed to do to save Jasper’s life. He’d had no other choice. Now they were both suffering the consequences from it.

  But I couldn’t just leave him to die!

  Still, the guilt ate at him. Because that was why Jasper kept coming to the forest. That was why he kept searching for the krampus.

  Jasper looked around. He paused and petted the little fox, speaking softly to her. The wind tossed Jasper’s brown hair. Snowflakes rested amongst the strands.

  Was he cold? Kraghol longed to pull Jasper close, wrap his arms around the man, and keep him warm and protected.

  But he couldn’t do that. He would never be able to do that. He could not step forward and approach the beautiful human. Jasper was a creature of light and joy. He should not have anything to do with Kraghol or any of his vile kind.

  And if the krampus did step forward, how would Jasper respond? With fear?

  He would be horrified if he learnt what I’d done to him. He’d be disgusted. He’d hate me.

  So he stayed hidden and watched. In time, the compulsion the young man felt to come to the forest and search for Kraghol would diminish. Then he’d stop coming completely. That would be a good thing.

  Still, Kraghol’s lungs squeezed at the thought of never seeing Jasper again. He let out a slow breath. Every nerve and cell in his body demanded he go forward. But he could not. He would not. The young man deserved so much better than a monster like him.

  So the krampus would keep watching, admiring, longing from afar, and keeping Jasper safe. There was no other choice.

  The fox Kali glanced back, looking directly in the krampus’s direction. Kraghol couldn’t tell if she saw him or just somehow sensed where he was. But she’d always been such a clever fox. Even as a starving, little orphan kit.

  Kraghol wished he could pat her soft fur once more. He ached with how much he missed her. But he was glad she remained by Jasper, looking after him.

  When he’d pulled Jasper from the water and saved his life, he’d heard Jasper’s twin frantically shouting his name. The krampus knew he’d need to disappear before the brother arrived. So he’d asked his fox to look after Jasper in his stead.

  And the fox had done just that.

  Jasper approached the edge of the forest. The muscles in Kraghol’s body tensed, as he knew the human would soon depart. Jasper glanced around once more, searching for him. But the krampus remained firmly hidden.

  He stared at Jasper.

  My almost mate.

  Because that was what they were. That was what Kraghol had made them. He’d created a partial mate bond between them in order to save Jasper’s life.

  It had been an accident! Well, not really. But if he’d not acted, Jasper would be dead. It was the only way Kraghol had thought he could save him.

  The creation of a mate bond could heal a partner of practically anything. So as he’d held Jasper’s lifeless body, he had decided to pour his life essence into him. He’d doubted it would work. After all, krampuses only ever mated other krampuses.

  But Jasper’s body had accepted his life essence. And his chest had risen and fallen as he had started to breathe again.

  I saved his life.

  However, for a mate bond to be properly completed, each individual had to pour their life essence into the other. Still, the partial mate bond had saved Jasper’s life. But a mate bond could never be completed between a human and a krampus. As far as Kraghol knew, humans didn’t even have life essences.

  Now they both suffered because of the incomplete mate bond. That was why Jasper kept visiting the forest: he was trying to find his half-mate. And that was why Kraghol could not keep his distance.

  It was also why Kraghol could always sense exactly where Jasper was. He wasn’t certain why Jasper couldn’t do the same. Perhaps because he was human. Or perhaps because the bond hadn’t been completed. But although Jasper did not seem to be able to pinpoint Kraghol’s location, he seemed to know Kraghol was in the forest.

  With time, the bond would dissolve between them. That was what happened to mate bonds that were not completed. The yearning they both felt would fade.

  Until then the krampus would stay hidden, looking out for his almost mate.

  Chapter

  Five

  Jasper’s head throbbed. He gritted his teeth, trying not to sag as he sat on a stool in the bakery, mixing ingredients in a large bowl.

  His sister Ordelia hummed as she stirred a stew in a cauldron. Meanwhile his youngest brother, Trent, washed dishes. Lachlan and Kit, his brother and his brother’s partner, pressed pastry into tins.

  Leo strode into the back area of the bakery. He’d been serving out front. “That arrogant phoenix came in again!”

  Jasper straightened. “Did he?”

  “He ordered two pies! Again.” Leo came over and stood next to Jasper.

  “Oh.” Jasper tried to sound interested. He could feel his twin staring.

  “He must really like your pies.” Trent wiped his hands on his apron.

  “But he pretends he doesn’t! He called me a passable baker.” Leo scoffed. “What a prick!”

  Jasper laughed or tried to. He’d only been working in the bakery for a couple of hours, but already he struggled to keep going. He swallowed and rolled his tight shoulders.

  He didn’t have to work as much as he did. His siblings had been clear that he should take time off as needed. But he hated feeling useless. And if he wasn’t here, he’d just be in the forest. And even though he felt better in the forest, walking for hours still took a lot of energy.

  Leo kept staring at him.

  Jasper racked his brain, trying to think of what sort of things he’d used to say in response to his twin. “He definitely sounds like he has a broomstick up his arse.”

  Leo chortled. “He definitely does! And how are you doing?” he asked, voice softening.

  “Fine.” Jasper shoved down the flare of annoyance at the question and the gentleness in Leo’s tone. These days, Leo always treated Jasper like a fucking child.

  He’s just worried. It’s just because he loves you. Don’t be angry.

  But Jasper was so fucking tired of the constant worry and concern. Of Leo watching and staring at him every minute of every bloody day.

  He understood it. But he just couldn’t deal with it. He wished he could get better for his brother. He wished he could be his old self. But he wasn’t that witch anymore.

  And he couldn’t talk to Leo about what was going on. He couldn’t put into words the constant ache, yearning, and need. He couldn’t understand it himself, so how could he explain it?

  So now his twin just worried constantly, like the rest of his family.

  But really, what could he say? Since my injury, I feel like a part of me is missing. But don’t worry. I know it’s in the forest. I just have to find it.

  Early on, he had tried to explain it to Leo. He really had. But Leo’s frowns and suggestions of calling the healer back or getting a new healer showed he didn’t understand. And it just pissed Jasper off that Leo didn’t get him when Jasper really needed him to.

  Leo had always understood him. Jasper didn’t know what to do when he didn’t.

  So now Leo hovered, treated him with kid gloves, and asked him how he was doing constantly. Jasper fucking hated it.

  “I’ll head over to the Christmas markets in a little bit. Grady will already be there setting up the stall.” Leo hesitated. “I assume you aren’t coming today?”

  “I’ll go upstairs to rest,” Jasper lied. He would go to the forest. He would search for the missing part of himself that he was pretty sure was there.

  Tap. Tap. Tap.

  Kali, who’d been resting by Jasper’s feet, lifted her head.

  “Look! The raven is back!” Leo let out a laugh.

  Everyone in the bakery turned. A big black raven stood on the windowsill. Leo had seen the raven in the alley behind the bakery the day before and fed it.

  Tap. Tap. Tap. Its black beak rapped against the glass.

  “Clever bird is back for more food.” Leo grabbed some seed and went out to feed it once again. Kali lowered her head and returned to dozing.

  Jasper turned his attention back to the shortbread cookies he was making. When they were ready, he took them over to the oven.

  Jasper put them in the oven and closed the door. “I’m going to go upstairs. Can you take out these cookies when they are done?” he asked Trent.

  Trent nodded. “Of course. And I’ll bring up your elothea tea tonight.”

  “Thanks.” Jasper walked to the back door.

  The others called out their goodbyes as he exited.

  Trent had been the one to offer to get the elothea seeds for the tea the healer had prescribed Jasper after the accident. A couple of months ago, Jasper had suggested he could go buy the elothea seeds to make his own tea. But Trent said he enjoyed visiting the Aquatic Horticultural Emporium where he got the seeds. He said the plants were interesting.

  Jasper didn’t understand how aquatic plants could be so interesting that Trent would want to go every single day to the emporium. But he had let it slide. Since the emporium wasn’t on the way to the forest, it would mean he’d have less time in there if he went and bought them himself.

  And since Trent already bought the tea, it made sense for him to make the tea for Jasper too. Especially since Trent was always so keen to help out.

  Jasper paused and looked through the window into the bakery. His gaze fixed on Leo. His throat tightened. He wished he didn’t need to lie to his twin. He wished he didn’t have to hold things back. He wished he could be as he had been before the accident.