I just need Elias.

  Chapter

  Forty-Nine

  Elias slid open the hidden compartment at the bottom of the trunk. He knelt on the floor, surrounded by the belongings he’d had to unpack to get to it.

  Colette leaned against him, trying to peek inside. “Is that it? Is that your mask?”

  Elias chuckled. “Yes. That’s my mask.” He pulled it out, holding it up to the light. He’d not looked at it since the war ended. It had remained in the hidden compartment at the bottom of his trunk since.

  Jagged gold lines, like lightning, streaked across the stark white. He slid his hand over the smooth, painted wood. When he wore this mask, he was a strong and powerful archmage. It hid his identity. But at the same time, when he wore it, it revealed his true form.

  And Gerard will never know.

  “Will I get one just like it?”

  “You will. Once you have completed your training and been inducted as a Voltarian lightning archmage.”

  She squealed and clapped her hands.

  Of course, she might not have much need to wear it now that the war with the dragons had ended. He almost laughed. Because there would always be wars to fight in. Perhaps Zephyrias and Voltaria would turn against each other now that they’d made peace with Draconia.

  Or perhaps the Kingdoms of Voltaria and Zephyrias would look east. They’d start to take over their neighbouring kingdoms and territories, as they’d used to do. They’d be focused once more on extending their empire.

  But Elias would not be a part of that. He’d be the husband to the dragon warrior. He’d live in Draconia, where no one would know what he was capable of. He’d have no need to don mask or robes ever again.

  His chest tightened. Because although he was glad he would not need to kill or injure anyone again, he would miss being a mighty lightning sorcerer. He would miss the power surging through him as he battled.

  “And are those your robes?”

  “They are.” Elias’s deep-blue robes lay folded at the very bottom of the trunk. Elias touched the soft fabric.

  “Will you put them on and show me?” She practically vibrated. “I’ve never seen a lightning archmage all dressed up before!”

  “Why would you want⁠—”

  “Please! I just want to see what you look like. I want to see the whole outfit together! I want to imagine how glorious you must have looked facing off against dragons during the war.”

  “Keep your voice down. Don’t forget we are in the dragons’ lair.” Elias glanced at the door. It of course remained closed and locked.

  And Gerard would not return for a while. He had plans to go see his aunt in Draconia that night. It would be hours before he returned. That meant Elias and Colette had time.

  Elias wondered if Colette might soon be placed with a new trainer, now that he would be moving to Draconia. Training her there, whilst trying to keep their identities secret, might prove challenging. And if their identities were revealed, some might think they’d been planted in Draconia for nefarious purposes.

  And as much as Elias liked Colette, he’d breathe a sigh of relief if she was placed with a new trainer. He didn’t like lying to Gerard about his relationship with her.

  “Fine,” Elias relented. “Consider it a reward for all the progress you’ve made.”

  He donned the robes, tied his hair into a bun, and then settled the mask over his face. He stood before the mirror. Nothing obviously identifiable could be seen. The only part of him you could really see were his hands. They’d probably have covered those too, except it interfered with their magic.

  Colette stood by the mirror, staring at him with her mouth hanging open. Then she clapped, bouncing on her feet. “You look marvellous! I can’t wait until I have my own robes and mask.”

  Elias stared at himself for several long seconds. This might be the last time I ever wear this. Perhaps he should even dispose of them. No point keeping them around when he moved to Draconia. He touched the fabric, taking a moment to fix this image of himself into his mind.

  He took off the mask and placed it on the table in the middle of the room. “Just keep training and studying, and you will be one of us in no time.” He walked towards the trunk and began to take off his robes.

  The door handle rattled. Elias and Colette spun towards it. He heard the distinct sound of a key being slotted into the lock.

  Gerard! It was Gerard! He had returned early! If it was the servant, they would have knocked first.

  Elias tore at the inner ties holding the robe in place. He yanked it off. Colette stood wide-eyed, completely frozen in place as she stared at the door. Elias threw his robes into the trunk and dashed towards the table where his mask lay exposed.

  The door swung open.

  Chapter

  Fifty

  Elias stood far too many steps away from the white mask sitting out in the open, contrasting so strongly with the dark wood of the table.

  Why did I not consider that he might come back early?

  “Colette.” Gerard’s gaze fixed on her. He took a few steps into the room, not even glancing at the table and the mask. “I didn’t realise you’d be here.”

  Elias smiled, trying to slow his breathing. “We were just finishing up her lessons.”

  “I’m sorry.” Gerard stopped walking. He glanced between them. He stood between them and the mask. “I didn’t mean to disturb.”

  Maybe Elias could get him to leave for a few minutes whilst he and Colette “finished up.”

  Elias opened his mouth, but Colette got in first. “It’s no problem at all.” Colette smiled brightly. “I was just leaving.”

  She took a step towards Gerard rather than the door. Was she going to try to walk past Gerard and pick up the mask on her way out? She’d need to weirdly veer to get the mask and then head to the door. But maybe it would work.

  Then Gerard turned towards her, stepping in her way, the mask remaining behind him. “Actually, I passed a servant who is looking for you.”

  “You did?” she asked, voice too loud.

  Elias took a step. Maybe if he came up near Gerard, he could grab the mask without Gerard noticing? The mask was only a couple of steps behind Gerard. Could Elias manage it?

  “A letter just arrived from your family,” Gerard said.

  Elias took another step. Then another.

  “Really? I will be sure to seek them out. I have not heard from my family in a week, and I am so keen to know how they are doing!” She moved closer to Gerard, perhaps trying to keep Gerard’s attention on her rather than on Elias. “My sister had a cold last I heard. I hope she is better. I do not like to think of her unwell.”

  Gerard nodded. “Well, I hope the letter has good news.”

  “I hope so too. I fret and fret.” She laughed. “I know it is just a trifling cold. I know I shouldn’t worry. But I do! And she has a little one, my niece. Only three years old. I hope she hasn’t caught the cold too!”

  Creeping forward, Elias reached out. He picked up the mask. Holding his breath, he carefully placed it on the chair, tucking it beneath the table.

  It was not an ideal hiding place. But at least it was no longer out in the open. He just needed to get Gerard to leave so he could hide it properly. That and close the fucking lid to his trunk! The robes could easily be seen by anyone who peered inside.

  His stomach twisted. He was lying to Gerard. Deceiving him.

  He’d said he wanted honesty in their relationship. And right now, he was doing everything to keep something from him. Elias closed his eyes. He could pretend that him being a lightning archmage was in the past, but he was just fooling himself.

  He was still an archmage. Even if he never wore the robes and mask again, even if he never fought or cast, it was still a part of his past and thus would always be a part of him.

  He would always be lying to Gerard.

  But there was no way around it. He was not allowed to reveal his true identity. He’d taken a vow! But if he kept the secret, did he doom his relationship with Gerard?

  “It is admirable that you care about your sister and niece,” Gerard said to Colette.

  “I’m glad you think so. Many think me overly sentimental. No doubt my sister would think me silly for worrying so much.” She laughed, glancing at Elias, as if not quite certain what to do now.

  “Go find your letter. I hope it says that your sister has made a full recovery and that your niece is well,” Elias said, knowing her sister had never been sick.

  That twist in his stomach tightened. Another untruth.

  She nodded. “All right. Thank you for today, Elias.” She left.

  When the door closed, Elias smiled. “Shall we go find food? I’m starving.” Another falsehood.

  But if they went to get food, Elias could feign forgetting something and return to the room quickly to lock away the mask and robes. It would be more untruths. But what else could Elias do?

  Elias walked to the door.

  But Gerard didn’t follow. “In a moment.” A frown tugged at his features.

  Has he seen the mask?

  Gerard turned to face Elias. He paused. “I wished to discuss something with you first.”

  “What?”

  Gerard didn’t move. He just stared at the floor.

  “Is something wrong?” Elias asked.

  Gerard exhaled and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Not really. I just … I spoke to Albert and Prince Beau on the way here. Your half-brother—” His lips pursed. “—he made accusations against you.”

  “What accusations?” Suddenly Gerard had Elias’s full attention.

  Or almost his full attention. Elias could just glimpse the white of the mask beneath the edge of the table. Nothing could have his full attention until that was locked away and hidden in the secret compartment in his trunk.

  “I don’t believe them, of course,” Gerard rushed out. “I know your half-brother is a liar. But I wanted to raise it with you.”

  “What accusations, Gerard?”

  Gerard paced back and forth. He walked past the table and the chair, so close to Elias’s secret. Elias’s heart galloped. His throat clenched.

  Gerard stopped walking, right next to the chair with the mask on it. “He said you called me vile and repulsive. He said you called me the dragon wretch.” His voice came out tight and strained. “But I know he lies. I know you would not say that.”

  Elias’s heart dropped. Because he had said that. He’d said those exact words to convince his stepmother to arrange the marriage between him and Gerard. He should have thought that it could get back to Gerard. He should have mentioned it before now.

  But he could explain now. Tell the truth. Gerard would understand. He would believe Elias.

  Elias licked his lips. He stepped forward. “I did say those things, but only⁠—”

  “What?” Gerard swung around. His arm knocked the chair. It teetered.

  Elias held his breath.

  The mask fell. It clattered onto the floor, right in front of Gerard. The white-and-gold mask rocked from side to side. Then finally it lay unmoving, staring with its empty sockets straight up at Gerard.

  Chapter

  Fifty-One

  Gerard froze. He stared down at the mask, body unmoving. He did not breathe. His heart stopped. The world ground to a halt.

  For a second, he could almost swear that he saw the gold lightning on the white mask flash and zigzag towards him, about to strike.

  His muscles tensed. And suddenly he was back. Skin searing. Muscles convulsing. His body screaming as he struggled to gain control and fly. He gritted his teeth as an echo of the past reverberated through his body.

  And he kept remembering. The second strike hitting him. Everything disappearing. He touched a shaking hand to his right face, over the eye patch.

  With a jerky movement, Gerard reached for the dagger hanging at his waist. He took a step back, eyes wide as his gaze remained fixed on the white-and-gold mask.

  “Gerard! Gerard!” Elias asked, as if from a distance.

  He looked at Elias, whose eyes were filled with concern. Gerard looked back at the mask.

  “Wh … whe …” His mouth wasn’t working. His hand on the hilt of his dagger tightened. He yanked the blade free. “Where did it come from?” His head whipped around, searching the room.

  But he could see no one. No one but Elias.

  Had someone planted this mask? Or was someone hiding?

  Gerard prowled, muscles coiled, holding the dagger, ready to strike. All the while, he tensed, preparing for the agony of a lightning blow to hit him.

  He’d be unable to shift in a room this small. But he knew how to use his dagger. He knew how to fight and defend and kill. “Get behind me, Elias!”

  “Gerard! It’s okay!” Elias said.

  Gerard’s heartbeat pounded in his ears. Blue in the corner of his vision caught his eye. Blue robes. Like the lightning archmages wore. He swung around and stalked towards them.

  “Gerard! Wait!”

  The blue robes lay haphazardly in a trunk.

  Elias’s trunk.

  His mind blanked. He blinked. He reached down and lifted the soft fabric. He gazed down at what looked like a secret compartment at the bottom of Elias’s trunk. A secret compartment to hide …

  His hand gripping the robes spasmed.

  A secret compartment to hide robes and a mask.

  His mind whirred, trying to make sense of how this could be here. But only one explanation presented itself.

  “No.” This can’t be. “No. No. No.” The world slowed as he turned to look at Elias.

  Elias stood completely still. Horror etched into the lines of his face. No doubt Gerard’s own expression mirrored his.

  Gerard shook his head. “It can’t be you. You can’t be a lightning archmage. All you can do is little sparkles.”

  Elias dropped his gaze. Gerard’s stomach fell.

  “Elias, tell me it is not you!” His voice trembled.

  Elias didn’t answer.

  “Elias, is it you? Are you a lightning archmage?”

  No answer.

  “How can it be you?” Gerard’s yell bounced off the walls. Then he laughed, a strained, strangled sound. “No. I’ve seen your powers. You’re weak. Your magic is useless. You can’t be an archmage. You can’t! That makes no sense.”

  Gerard’s whole being begged Elias to laugh too. To say that of course he was not an archmage. To come up with some plausible reason, any reason why this was here and it did not belong to Elias.

  But instead, Elias remained silent and still. And as each moment of silence passed, Gerard felt his insides crumble.

  “Elias, are you a lightning archmage?” Gerard choked.

  Still no reply.

  “Fucking answer me!” He yelled.

  “All I am is a lie.” Elias had said those exact words to Gerard in the cave. Elias had told Gerard how easy it was for him to lie. How it was hard not to. Now Gerard was facing the truth of that.

  Still, his brain fought to accept it. He just could not believe that the man who’d shared his bed, who’d held him, who’d spoken to him with so much affection and care, could deceive him so completely.

  “Elias, it can’t be you,” he said, voice so soft and trembling. “Can it?”

  Elias lowered his head. “I’m sorry, Gerard.”

  Gerard staggered. He closed his eyes. Elias was a lightning archmage. He had lied about everything to Gerard.

  Then a thought struck him.

  “Were you the one who …” Gerard gestured to his eye patch and the scars on his face.

  Gerard had only ever faced off against one lightning archmage. But no. He’d killed that sorcerer. He was sure of it. And there was more than one lightning archmage; it must have been⁠—

  But then Elias nodded. The floor jerked out from beneath Gerard’s feet. He dropped the dagger and the robes onto the floor.

  All those moments, when Elias had opened up, acted like they were growing closer, said he was developing feelings, they were all just pretend, just a part of some act.

  He stared at the mask on the floor. “You maimed me.” But that wasn’t what bothered Gerard. After all, they had been at war. They’d been enemies.

  What bothered Gerard was the knowledge that Gerard had lain with Elias, talking about his scars and his wounds, how they’d hurt him, how they’d changed him, and how they still affected him.

  And Elias had kissed his lips with the scar going through it. He’d rested his hands on his altered torso. His fingers had caressed the uneven skin that covered Gerard’s body. All the while, Elias had been the cause.

  “Elias has always been two-faced,” Beau had said. It seemed those words were true.

  The silence screamed.

  “I’m sorry.” Elias stepped towards him.

  Gerard took a deep, trembling breath. “When we met, I thought you a fop. A naive fool. A coward.” He looked at Elias. “But the truth is so much worse. You’re a fraud. You tricked me. You manipulated me. You played me for a fool. You made me think you cared for me.” His voice shook.

  “I do care for you!” Elias cried out.

  Gerard dropped his head forward, as if he couldn’t hold it up. “You called me vile! Repulsive! The dragon wretch!”

  Elias reached for him. “I didn’t mean it. You have to believe me. I only said that⁠—”

  Gerard knocked his hand away. “I have to believe you? You?” A bitter laugh tore from his throat. “You’re a liar, Elias! That’s all you are. A fucking lie!” He looked him up and down. “How do I believe a single treacherous word from your mouth ever again?”

  Elias flinched. Tears glistened in his eyes.

  Was this another ploy? It seemed Elias wasn’t just an excellent liar but an excellent actor too. For weeks he’d not once acted repulsed or disgusted by Gerard. He’d acted like he desired Gerard. He’d acted like he had feelings for Gerard. He’d acted like he cared.

  Gerard wondered if he should applaud such a brilliant performance.

  “Gerard. Please.” Tears slid down Elias’s cheeks as he reached for Gerard once more. But Gerard had had enough of Elias and his falsehoods.