“Because you think you could be a dark lord?”

  Sitting back, he huffed out a laugh. “Well, I don’t want to brag, but I’ve got a few darker qualities.”

  “Such as?”

  “Well, I’m a rebel, and I think any good dark lord should have a rebellious nature.”

  “A rebel, huh?”

  “Oh, totally,” he grinned. “I never go to bed when I should. I like to leave the door unlocked, even though I live on a huge property where literally anyone could come in and murder me in the middle of the night, and…sometimes, when it’s laundry day, I just turn my socks inside out.”

  I quirked an eyebrow at him, just catching on that he was just fucking with me. I wasn’t entirely sure at first. The man seemed like he might be a few screws loose, but now I realized he just liked to fuck with people.

  “So, that’s what the odor is.”

  “Anyway, it can’t all come down to being rebellious. You also have to have a way with the ladies.”

  My eyes immediately shifted to Josie yet again.

  “She’s too good for you,” he said, his tone suddenly shifting to something slightly more dangerous. And now I was very interested in this brother.

  “I’m well aware.”

  “I’m serious.”

  I knew that also. It was clear as day when he looked at her that he didn’t want me anywhere near her.

  “And why would I listen to anything you say?”

  “Because you just moved to town not that long ago. You might not be aware of the shit that goes on around here, but I am, and I can tell you right now that she doesn’t need any more crap in her life.”

  The rumor mill. So, everyone believed the story that Austin attacked Josie. No wonder she got pissed off when gossip spread. Of course, I was just as bad as Jeff. I’d pretty much yelled at her for not taking the threat seriously, not that I would go back on my assessment of how dangerous Austin was.

  Walking up the steps to her house, I knocked before I could think better of it. When she answered, it was nothing like the last time I came knocking.

  She didn’t lunge at me, she wasn’t staring at me with lust in her eyes, and she definitely wasn’t letting me in. “What do you want?”

  “To talk.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, giving me her best fuck off look. “JR, no offense, but you didn’t want to talk to me before. Why would I want to talk to you now?”

  She was absolutely right. There was no reason she should ever want to talk to me, but there were things I needed to say.

  “Look, I’m not here to get you back.”

  That took her by surprise.

  “I mean…fuck, that came out wrong. What I meant to say is that I’m not expecting anything. I know why you’re pissed at me. I was hoping I could clear up a few things.”

  “You mean make more excuses.”

  “No,” I said, narrowing my eyes at her. “You want answers, and I can give them to you, but I’m not gonna beg you to let me in. Either we discuss this or I walk away and never see you again. The choice is yours.”

  I sounded like a dick, and I knew it. I had given her no reason to ever trust me or want to talk to me again. And while I knew she might slam the door in my face, I wasn’t gonna stand here and beg her to hear me out.

  It would suck to have the door slammed in my face, but there were realities we both needed to face.

  Finally, she stepped aside and let me in. Walking over to the couch, she plopped down and gestured for me to do the same.

  “You wanted to talk. So talk.”

  It wasn’t that easy. I knew I needed to do this, but I didn’t know how to start. Pacing, I decided to start at the beginning.

  “You know I was raised in foster care. And you probably know that some of those homes weren’t exactly the best.”

  “Yes, Alyssa told me.”

  I already knew that, but the rest…none of this was easy. “I didn’t exactly have the best grades in school. I didn’t try very hard because I was more focused on—” I sucked in a breath, going all in. “On staying alive. And when I aged out, I took random jobs. Anything to pay the bills. I slept on the streets a lot, and that’s where I met Archer. I think you know he’s not just your average townie.”

  “Somehow I guessed that,” she mused.

  “Josie, I didn’t exactly have an easy life. I did what I had to in order to survive. And then I didn’t want to change who I was. I was happy living the way I did. But that life is not conducive to what we have.”

  She pursed her lips, cocking her head at me. “And what is it you think we have?”

  It was the biggest fuck off I’d ever heard in my life. She didn’t even have to be nasty about it. Just those simple words and the look she was shooting me said it all.

  I had grossly underestimated how bad this was.

  “I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I like you⁠—”

  A laugh with a hint of derision slipped from those beautiful lips.

  “I’m serious.”

  “Well, I’m glad you like me, JR.”

  God, all this was coming out wrong. I shoved my fingers through my hair, pacing her living room once again. “I more than like you, okay? But with the way I live⁠—”

  “Oh, please,” she scoffed. “Spare me the bullshit. I’m not good enough for you. My life won’t fit with yours. It’s all bullshit, JR. Tell me one honest reason you’re not good enough for me.”

  I almost said the words. I’ve killed people. But as I stared at her, the idea that she would see me like that was too much. I didn’t want her to think of me as this horrible person who did bad things.

  Maybe that was selfish of me, but wouldn’t it be better if she just thought of me as a coward?

  “That’s what I thought,” she huffed. “So, what you really came to do was give me more excuses. Well, I’m not interested, JR. I knew from the start the kind of man you are. It was no surprise that you couldn’t commit even the slightest. You know, Alyssa came to me and actually wanted me to try to have something real with you. And do you know what I told her?”

  I shook my head slowly.

  “I told her that I wasn’t interested in trying to fix a man.”

  Ouch. “I didn’t ask for that.”

  “No, you didn’t. Which is why I told her it could never be anything more than sex. See, you might see me as something you have to have in the moment, but there will always be something holding you back. Whatever reason you felt you had to come over here and explain? It’s all pointless. You will never change, and I will never see you as anything more than a good fuck.”

  Okay, that was slightly harsh, but there was probably some truth to that.

  “So, all of this really isn’t necessary. What we had ran its course. I don’t need explanations, and I don’t need you to come over here to let me down gently. We both knew this would never be more than it was, so let’s just leave it there. Alright?”

  There was really nothing more to say, no matter how much something inside of me was urging me to say something to change her mind. But I couldn’t because I liked her too damn much to hitch myself to a woman who would inevitably end up regretting ever having anything to do with me.

  I would move on and continue to live as I did, and she would find some other man who would treat her right and be able to tell her about the shit in his past without mentioning that he killed people for a living.

  But even as I thought that, something sharp twinged in my chest, telling me it wasn’t going to be that easy to move on. I had never in my life met someone like Josie, who so easily gave her friendship and kept pushing through all the crap to get to know the person underneath.

  Except that she didn’t know me. She understood the person I was today, but not everything that would make her turn away from me and run.

  “Just go, JR. Leave and let me get some sleep, because we both know this isn’t going anywhere.”

  I sucked in a ragged breath as she grabbed my arm and forced me toward the door. This was it. The end was here, and I could either walk out that door or try to change.

  “My name really is JR,” I spat out.

  She stalled for just a moment, her eyes blinking up at me innocently. “What?”

  “JR. The letters—that’s all there is to my name. Very creative mother,” I jested. “I used to pretend it meant something else, but then you grow up and realize it really doesn’t fucking matter.”

  I turned to face her, going all in. “I killed one of my foster parents. Nobody knew, and I’ve never told anyone, not even Alyssa. This was after I met her and we were split up. He was this real asshole, always doing— He was a shitty human being. And when he tried to attack this other kid who was just a puny shit, I snuck up behind him and slammed a knife into his chest.”

  “How—”

  “We were in the kitchen. I smeared some cream on the floor and slid his foot through it, making it look like he slipped and fell forward on his knife. And then I wiped the prints.”

  Her eyes widened at my confession. “How did you even know to do that?”

  “You learn a lot when you’re in the system. And the guy was already drunk, so it wasn’t hard for the coroner to believe he’d killed himself on accident.”

  Her eyes dropped as she processed what I was saying. I knew it was a lot, and that was just what I had done as a kid. That didn’t even touch on the shit I’d done as an adult. I was old enough to know better, and yet, I still did horrible things.

  “JR…I don’t even…”

  “When I turned eighteen, I started stealing food while I was sleeping on the streets. Mostly out of dumpsters at the back of restaurants, but sometimes, I snuck into the kitchens and stole plates of food. A few times, I was almost arrested.”

  She walked over to the couch and sank down, her attention fully on me. And just like that, it all came pouring out. She just listened. I was fully aware that at any moment, she would realize what a shitbag I was and tell me to leave, but I couldn’t help it. She had to know everything or this would never work.

  I talked deep into the morning hours until the sun was about to rise. I was exhausted from saying so damn much, but she had barely said a word, hardly even moved from her spot on the couch.

  Finally, as the alarm went off in her bedroom, she got up and turned it off, then came back and sat cross-legged on the couch. I sat hunched forward, my elbows resting on my knees as I waited for whatever vitriol she spat at me.

  “The job you left on,” she finally asked after a few minutes. “What happened?”

  I scrubbed a hand over my face, tired as hell. I was in no mood to talk about this, but there was no turning back now. “I told you the last job I had before I came here went south. Archer had to leave because of Bailey, and that put us in a bad position. He found someone to fill in, but the guy was an amateur and the job went south. To make up for it, this guy we work for called in a favor.”

  “Couldn’t you say no?”

  I smiled tiredly at her. “It wasn’t that kind of favor. We went on the job, but…the man we were supposed to⁠—”

  “Kill?” she asked hesitantly.

  I nodded. “He had killed the boss’s brother. Of course, what we didn’t know was that this asshole was a piece of shit who raped and murdered our target’s wife.”

  Her jaw dropped in shock. “What did you do?”

  “The easy thing would have been to take him out. That was the favor,” I smiled. “But when I heard his pleas…” I dropped my gaze to the ground, ashamed more than I ever had been before. “I thought of you, and I couldn’t do it.”

  “Of me?”

  I nodded slowly. “I thought, if I ever wanted to have something real with you, there was no way I could ever pull the trigger. Stupid,” I huffed out a laugh. “What I’ve done, that’s not something you come back from.”

  It was all in the open now. No matter what I said or did from here, I knew I had lost her. You didn’t tell someone you murdered people for a living and then win them over with a smile.

  “Anyway,” I shoved to my feet and turned for the door. “I thought you deserved the truth.”

  I started for the door, but didn’t make it two steps before she grabbed my hand and tugged me back to her. She gave away nothing as those usually bright eyes watched me carefully.

  “You don’t have to be perfect, Johnny Roger. I don’t need a man who has the perfect job or has perfect teeth or the right car…”

  “What’s wrong with my teeth?” I asked.

  Smiling, she tugged me against her. “All I ask for is honesty. But if you want this, if you really want me in your life, it’s all or nothing. I told myself I could just do sex, but the truth is, I don’t like feeling like this. I don’t like⁠—”

  I pulled her against me and slammed my mouth down on hers, kissing her hard. She wanted me, and that was all I needed to hear.

  Stepping back, she bit her lip as she tugged me behind her. “Come on.”

  “If I go in there with you, you’re mine.”

  “I always was.”

  There had never been a time that I’d wanted Josie more than right now. In all my life, I’d never met anyone like her, anyone who could twist me up in knots and make it impossible to walk away.

  But as I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, I knew this was forever. No matter what happened, she was it for me.

  Kicking the door shut, I laid her on the bed and gently trailed my lips over her body. Shivers wracked her body as I carefully peeled her pajamas off her body, leaving her stripped naked for my eyes to feast on.

  She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen—the only woman I’d ever taken the time to get to know.

  “JR,” she murmured, running her hand over my bicep. “Take me.”

  Tearing my shirt over my head, I quickly stripped out of my clothes, then settled between her spread thighs, but as much as I needed her, I didn’t want to rush this.

  My lips burned across her skin, leaving wet trails that left her shivering in my arms. Every gasp, every moan that spilled from her lips made me need her even more than before.

  “Baby,” I moaned, sucking a nipple into my mouth. My cock nudged at her entrance, weeping at the feel of her warmth inviting me in. “Fuck,” I groaned, slowly working my cock inside her.

  I was on the verge of losing it when I twisted my hand in her hair, tangling my tongue with hers. She rolled over, straddling my waist, thrusting her breasts forward.

  I felt like I was on crack, that I would die if I didn’t taste every inch of her. Tugging her nipple into my mouth, my cock jumped when she cried out. She writhed against me, slowly swirling her hips as she took me deeper inside her.

  I couldn’t hold on, couldn’t wait another second to really make her mine. My teeth nipped at her breast as my fingers slid across her clit.

  Calling out my name, she came hard around me, making me hers forever.

  40

  JOSIE

  I woke midday with the sun shining in through the window. I never slacked at work, but I didn’t have it in me to show up for work today. Not when JR was in bed with me.

  Rolling over, I snuggled into his warmth, sighing when he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close.

  “Morning.”

  “Morning,” he said, his rough voice washing over me and sending shivers down my spine. “How did you sleep?”

  “Like a baby.”

  “Babies don’t generally sleep,” he grumbled.

  “It’s just a saying.”

  “Bad saying.”

  My hand slid over his chest, up to his shoulder where a dimple in his skin made me pause. “What’s this?”

  “Gunshot.”

  My head snapped up in surprise. “You were shot?”

  A cocky grin split his lips. “I’m good, but bound to run out of luck eventually.”

  I nodded, not liking his words. “How many times?”

  “Three. Two knife wounds. Nothing fatal, though.”

  “Nothing fatal,” I repeated under my breath. It was hard to believe he could talk about it like it was no big deal. Gunshots and knife wounds were not normal around here.

  “But that’s over,” he whispered. “I swear it.”

  “How can you promise that?” I asked, staring at the far wall. I wasn’t sure I could look at him right now, all the time wondering if he was lying to me.

  What surprised me was when he tipped my chin to face him. “I can promise that because I’m all in. Wherever this goes, I know what I need to do to keep you, and I won’t break that promise for anything.”

  Swallowing hard, I took it all in, all the things that had changed in such a short amount of time. It was hard to believe any of it was real, and there was a part of me that wondered if it would all change in just a few days when he realized how much he was actually committing to.

  But if I was going to give him a shot, I couldn’t go in thinking that he was going to fail.

  “I have to get to work.”

  Groaning, I squeezed him tighter, burying my face in his chest. “If I took off, so can you.”

  “I don’t own my business. And I can’t drop Lizzy right now. She’s on bed rest.”

  Rolling me over, he pressed me into the bed and groaned, kissing me hard. “Fuck, I wish I could. Stay here,” he whispered. “Right here in bed for me.”

  “All day?”

  “All day. Don’t move at all.”

  “I may have to pee at some point.”

  A small grin split his lips, the first I had seen in a long time. “Alright, you’re allowed to move for necessities, but that’s it. No clothes.”

  “I’ll consider it.”

  He kissed me hard, pressing his erection between my thighs once more before tearing himself from my arms. “You have no idea how hard it is to leave you right now.”

  Propping my head up in my hand, I smirked at him. “I think I have some idea.”