“I understand,” Astor says, and he leans across the table to kiss me. “I’m just worried. I want to keep seeing you. I want you to be my girl, but that won’t be easy if we’re all that way apart. You won’t be there with me.”

  I shake my head. “It isn’t like you’ll be lonely. There will be people all around you on set.”

  “They won’t be you,” Astor says urgently, frowning. He reaches out to take my hand. “At least tell me you’ll think about visiting me up in North Carolina. I know you need to be here, what with Sookie being sick and everything, but maybe there will be time?”

  “What?” I say.

  “You’re right,” Astor says, frowning again. He shakes his head and stands up. “Forget I said anything, Summer. Of course you’re going to want to stay here to look after your aunt while she’s ill. I shouldn’t have asked.”

  “It’s not that,” I say, wondering if I look as puzzled as I feel. “What I mean is, what do you mean, Aunt Sookie’s sick?”

  “You don’t know?” Astor sits back down, looking at me intently. “Sorry, I just assumed that she would have told you. I mean, I found out because we’ve been spending so much time together for the lessons, and she had to go to the doctor…”

  “What’s wrong with her?” I ask, wondering if Astor has it wrong. Aunt Sookie can’t be sick, can she? She would have said something. Except I remember how tired she has been, and how careful she’s been about what she eats. Something hasn’t been right.

  Astor looks uncomfortable. “Um… I guess that if she hasn’t said something, then I probably shouldn’t either. I mean, it’s for her to tell you, not me, and I’d hate to be the one who broke her confidence.”

  “What’s wrong with her, Astor?” I demand, not caring about any of that. “If something’s wrong with her, I have a right to know. If you care about me, you’ll tell me, rather than keeping secrets from me.”

  “Diabetes,” Astor says simply. “I’m not sure which type, only that it’s pretty advanced, genetics or something plus her diet for the last decade. She was talking about not just having to take medication, have shots, but she mentioned having had surgery a couple of months ago.”

  “What kind of surgery?” I ask.

  “I don’t know,” Astor insists. “Honestly, Summer, I’d tell you if I did.”

  It doesn’t seem fair. It doesn’t seem fair that Aunt Sookie should have something like this happen to her. She’s done so much to care for others, whether it’s inviting inner city kids into her school to keep them out of trouble and away from gangs, or taking me and the others in every summer, or just doing so much to help her students with their dreams.

  Diabetes explains so much about what has been happening with her, but I realize I don’t know anywhere near as much as I should about the disease. I didn’t even know that there was surgery for it. I thought it was just a case of staying on insulin and trying to adjust your life.

  Why didn’t Aunt Sookie tell me any of this? I know the answer to that. I have the memories of her caring for me, kissing my knee whenever I fell down, helping me deal with anything that hurt or ached. She’s trying to protect me from this.

  She can’t protect me from how much this moment hurts though. She can’t protect me from thinking back to all the moments I’ve had with her, whether it’s helping at her school, or watching while she taught Drew and Nat to throw a football, or letting Rachel play with her professional actor’s makeup kit. If anything, not telling me just makes it worse, because I don’t know how I’m going to talk to her about this.

  Astor comes and puts his arms around me, and I realize that I’m crying.

  “Don’t you…” I think back to all the other days with Astor. “Don’t you have rehearsals?”

  “They can wait,” Astor assures me, holding me tightly. “This is going to be all right Summer. You’ll see.”

  I want to believe him, but right then, it’s hard. Something like this… a few minutes ago, I was thinking about whether I could make it to North Carolina, but now I’m wondering how I’ll ask Aunt Sookie about what’s going on. About how I’ll talk to the others about it. Somehow, next to that, everything else seems pretty trivial.

  Chapter 12

  Astor takes me back to Aunt Sookie’s school, only leaving when I assure him that I’m okay. I head inside, looking for my aunt, I find her in her office, which is a converted dressing room behind the main theater space. She’s on the phone when I go in, so I start tidying the office. I need to do something. I can’t just sit there and wait, because I think I might explode if I did.

  The office isn’t large, with just enough room for a desk, a computer, a few boxes and some bookshelves, but there’s certainly plenty of stuff in here. There are pieces of old costumes and boxes of makeup, old scripts in piles and folders full of administrative details. The result is that it’s a space where probably only Aunt Sookie knows where anything is, and where it’s a constant battle to keep things neat.

  Aunt Sookie smiles at me as I walk in, but keeps talking on the phone. “We were always the most sensitive ones in school,” she says. “Nadine, are you sure you don’t want me to come up to San Fran? No? Then you should make a trip to the Pad. The kids are enjoying themselves. Rachel seems to have a boyfriend, and Drew is getting along great with Summer. She’s helping me out with classes at the school.”

  Aunt Sookie pauses, listening. “Nat? Oh, he’s mostly preoccupied with old friends. Join us for July 4th at least. We’ll have barbeques, hot dogs, and everything. You don’t have to be there to supervise your husband’s company party. It will do fine without you, and you should have some fun. You don’t have to keep playing the perfect corporate wife anymore, Nadine. You know it isn’t you.”

  Aunt Sookie starts listening again, and I feel like I’m intruding on a private moment just by being here.

  “Yes, I know you used to be good at it, but you’re so much more than just arm candy for him. Especially given what happened. And if he’s going to spend years cheating on you with his secretary, then he shouldn’t make Nat keep that secret. I’m glad Nat finally told you.”

  I start to wonder if I should leave anyway, but Aunt Sookie just keeps going. Either she doesn’t mind me hearing this, or she’s angry enough now that she doesn’t care.

  “No, Nat’s fine. I know he was always your baby. I can’t believe how much he and Drew have grown. Summer?” Aunt Sookie looks at me. “No, she’s dating one of my students. You should see her. Maybe you can when you come down. I’m a very proud aunt these days. Now listen, seriously, come down to my place. We’ll do the whole girl thing; maybe go down to Vegas while the kids play at the beach. I know. Listen, anything you want to talk about, I’m there for you. You know that, right? Love you.”

  Aunt Sookie finally hangs up. I don’t know why she let me hear all that. Maybe it was just easier than telling me to go. Maybe she wanted me to know about it. Now that I do… I don’t know what to think. It must have been so hard for Nat, if what I’ve just heard is true. Having to keep a secret like that from his own mother. Having to tell her.

  Then again, I guess Aunt Sookie knows a thing or two about keeping secrets right now. After all, there’s at least one big thing she didn’t tell me about. Maybe that’s why she let me hear that. Maybe she’s tired of keeping secrets.

  “Hey,” she says, “what are you doing over here when you could be out enjoying yourself?”

  “I wanted to talk,” I say.

  “About what you just heard?” Sookie shrugs. “Nadine is having a hard time of things, what with the divorce. That’s kind of why I asked all the kids down here again. I thought you should know.” She looks at me for a few seconds. “That pendant is new, isn’t it? Did you just buy it?”

  “Astor gave it to me.”

  She nods. “I’d guessed that he was serious about you when he invited you to stay over. Well, he’s a good boy, but obviously, you want to be careful, Summer. Don’t go rushing too far, too soon.”

  Most times, I might have talked that through with her, but right now, it isn’t what I want us to talk about. “Astor told me something.”

  “What did he tell you?” my aunt asks. “That he has to go away for a while? It’s only a job, Summer. He’ll be back if he really cares about you.”

  I shake my head. “It isn’t that. It’s something… well, he kind of told me accidentally. You shouldn’t blame him for it, I mean, because I think he really respects you.”

  “Well, that sounds kind of ominous,” Aunt Sookie says with another smile.

  I force myself to say it. “He said that you were sick. Diabetes.”

  Her smile freezes and then disappears. “I guess I shouldn’t have thought I could keep it a secret.”

  “So it’s true?” I ask, moving to sit across from her. “Astor didn’t make a mistake?”

  Aunt Sookie shakes her head. “He didn’t make a mistake. I have a rare form of diabetes. I’ve probably had it for a while…a combination of genetics and my lifestyle. You see, after my divorce, which hit me hard, I had let myself go with eating badly, gaining weight, not sleeping, not exercising and not taking care of myself for years. I mean I wasn’t very heavy, but for my body type I was, and that combined with genetics helped contribute to what I have.” Aunt Sookie smiled. “Thank God for you kids. You guys helped get me out of bed in the mornings. I looked forward to having all of you every summer because of all the fun we would have. Nadine and your mom thought it would be the thing to snap me out of the state I was in. You know…it worked! But I already had some of the conditions, and haven’t treated it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, Summer. I’m trying to get better, and with treatment, I’ll be fine.”

  “But that’s…”

  She reaches across the table to put a hand over mine. “This is why I didn’t tell you. You don’t need to get upset, Summer. I don’t want to ruin your summer. I don’t want to ruin the Donovan kids’ summer. Nat, Drew and Rachel are already going through enough with Nadine and their father. Hearing about him cheating on their mom must be like him cheating on them. It’s hard enough for them without adding this to it.”

  “But they’ll want to know,” I insist, looking around the office. Looking anywhere but at my aunt, because I think if I keep looking at her I’ll start crying.

  “They might,” Aunt Sookie admits. “But look at how upset you are right now, Summer. I never wanted to hurt you like that. I don’t want to hurt them like that either.”

  I shake my head. “What hurts is that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me what was going on with you. Did you think that I wouldn’t want to help?” I stare at her. “Did you think that you were just going to do this whole thing alone? I mean, you’re sick, and I… I’ve just been enjoying myself when I could have been helping you.”

  Aunt Sookie moves around her desk then, perching on it and putting a hand on my shoulder. “I want you to enjoy yourself, Summer. I’m not going to let some stupid illness take over your life when I don’t even want it to take over mine. Okay, so there are some tough moments, but I’m trying not to worry too much.”

  “Trying not to worry?” I shake my head, hardly able to believe it. “You’re seriously ill. How can you not worry?”

  Aunt Sookie hugs me then, holding me close for several seconds. “I’m not worrying because there’s no point in worrying. I’m going to do everything I need to in order to get better, and although diabetes is potentially very serious, it isn’t impossible to cope with. I’ve already had a round of surgery for this, so it’s mostly a question of recovering and seeing how it goes.”

  “Surgery?” I look at her in surprise. Aunt Sookie has had surgery and she didn’t tell anyone?

  “Sometimes, with some forms of diabetes, surgery can help,” she says. “In theory, it might even cure me. If it doesn’t, then it’s just a case of making sure I stay on the right drugs to manage it, and either way it goes, I’m going to have to make a few changes to my lifestyle and diet.”

  “Which explains all the health food in the fridge,” I say. “And why you haven’t been eating the things Nat and Drew have put together.”

  Aunt Sookie smiles then. “Well, it isn’t exactly the healthiest food, is it?”

  I can’t help smiling back at her.

  “This isn’t the end of the world, Summer. It isn’t even the end of me having a good time. I’ll just be more thirsty and tired physically, but it’s just something I have to deal with.”

  I nod. “You have to take care of yourself, though,” I say. “Take things slowly. Do whatever the doctors say. I can help with the school. I guess Drew, Nat and Rachel can help too. I know you want to treat everything like it’s normal, but you can’t keep putting in the hours you have been if it’s just going to exhaust you. You have to give yourself the time to recover.”

  “I’m trying to take things a little easier,” Aunt Sookie admits.

  A thought comes to me. “What about Mom? Does she know about this?”

  Aunt Sookie shakes her head. “No. I didn’t tell her. I don’t want to worry her either.”

  “But she’s your sister,” I say. “She deserves to know.”

  “And I’ll tell her, in my own time.” Aunt Sookie’s expression is serious and she pulls back, going back to her seat behind the desk. “Summer, this is going to be fine, you know. Pretty soon, we’ll all be wondering what the fuss was about while I go skydiving with you, or surfing with the boys, or on a trip to Paris with Nadine and your mom, or something.”

  I hope that she’s right. I know that diabetes isn’t as serious as some illnesses, but I also know that it can still do serious damage. It can even be fatal. I’m worried that my aunt is so busy trying to pretend that everything is fine that she might not do everything she needs to do in order to get better.

  “I’m serious about helping out more at the school though,” I say. “I can handle a lot of the classes here. The ones that aren’t too advanced, at least. Even some of those, maybe.”

  “I don’t doubt you could do the advanced ones if you wanted,” Aunt Sookie says, “but remember that a lot of the time, those students are paying for my teaching. I’ll keep going with those, and the rest until I decide otherwise. Summer, I’m not just going to sit at home all day.”

  I know I’m not going to be able to argue with her on this, so I nod. “Okay, but please, ask if you want help. You shouldn’t have to do something like this alone.”

  “Oh, darling, I’m not alone.” Aunt Sookie smiles as she looks over at me. “I have a wonderful trio of young people back in my house, all of whom are like family to me. I have you here, and you’re more like a daughter to me than a niece. Who cares if I’m sick? I have everything I could ever want right now.”

  Chapter 13

  I go running with Drew as usual the next morning, but it doesn’t feel like there’s anything usual about it. I was expecting Aunt Sookie to just announce her illness to the others the moment she got home last night, but she didn’t. Maybe it was because we got back pretty late, and Rachel was out with Ryan for a lot of the evening, so it never seemed like there was a good time, but it means that I have the knowledge of Aunt Sookie being sick bubbling up inside me. I need to tell someone about it.

  For now though, I just run with Drew, starting out on the route we normally take but then heading down towards the spur of rock where I found Nat writing the other day. I’m not sure why I go that way. Maybe I just want to do something different, or maybe it feels like a good place to talk things over. Either way, I’m concentrating so hard on what I’m going to say by the time we get there that I’m not paying attention to my footing.

  I slip on the soft sand, and for a moment, I tumble towards the rocks. When I’m falling towards them, they look a lot more jagged than they did when I was just running. I brace myself, trying to stop myself hitting my head on that brutally hard surface, but I know that it isn’t going to work. This is going to hurt.

  Strong arms wrap around me, catching me. Drew lifts me up completely, carrying me a little way further up the beach, away from the rocks and the soft sand, turning me as he puts me down, so that we’re just inches away from one another. I can feel the adrenaline pumping through me, my heart beating faster even than it was during the run. Drew’s the same, his breathing coming quickly for a second or two.

  If Drew hadn’t been there…

  “Thanks for saving me,” I say. It doesn’t feel like enough somehow.

  Drew seems to think it is though, pulling me down gently to sit by him on the sand. “You don’t need to thank me. Are you okay?”

  I nod.

  “I don’t just mean with the rocks,” he says. “You’ve been distracted by something since we started running. Is it Sookie, and how ill she is?”

  I look at him, my eyes widening slightly. Drew takes my hand in his.

  “I pay attention,” he says, “and I got the rest out of one of her students. I just want you to know that you can count on me.”

  “I know I can, Drew,” I say, still surprised that he knows. Did everyone know but me? “Actually, I wanted to ask you…”

  “If you need me to help out at the school, I can.”

  That’s almost exactly what I was going to ask. I nod. “She’s so determined to keep going, but I figure that if we take over some of her classes for the rest of the summer, that will give her the time to recover.”

  Drew puts an arm around me then. “I’d love to do it, Summer. Sookie’s okay with us teaching her classes?”

  I nod. “She thinks we can do it.”

  Drew smiles. “That’s good to hear. I mean, it’s a big responsibility.”

  And from what I’ve seen of Drew, he doesn’t do responsibility. This is a whole other side of him.

  “It’s going to be okay with Sookie,” Drew promises, and he’s so confident of that it’s hard to argue with it. I love the way his arms around me feel then, so strong and safe, so that I feel almost tiny pressed against him. I know I should say something; change the subject somehow.