They were three wonderful days, swimming in crystal clear mountain pools, giving the children swimming lessons, teaching them to dog paddle and stay afloat without help. They climbed hillsides and waterfalls with panoramic views, cooked on an open fire and enjoyed the music of birds and glimpses of wildlife. They went walking in the night with a torch, picking out forest animal eyes, possums and gliders in the trees, wallabies and native cats on the ground, frogs that croaked in the creeks. They made love in the night under star filled skies and in the dawn as the first birds called.

  Part of them both wanted to keep driving, with just themselves’ for company, forever, to postpone the day of the meeting. But it must happen. It was the only way forward. Vic hoped it was the start of a return to a life in the open, an end of hiding. But he understood and shared Jane’s terror of it all coming apart.

  Jane had her hair cut short, almost boyish looking and a bit hippy, with red blond colours and streaks. Thea had helped her with this, entering into the spirit of the game of a new Jane. Part of Vic hated to lose his familiar partner but he knew it was for the best and she still looked great.

  Each new version of her was like a new girl emerging from the old, Vic told her it was sexy getting to make love to a different looking her. Jane was happy that he found her alluring and exciting. The children complained but within a day they were used to their new look Mum.

  Two days before Christmas, at the time for lunch, they drove up the road towards a grand farmhouse, nestled into a hollow in the hills, high mountains rising behind and an elegant formal garden in front. The road wound through lush green fields with cows, sheep and horses gazing. A sign on the farm gate told Vic they had arrived.

  With no one in sight, as they pulled up, Vic tooted the horn, and then reached over and squeezed Jane’s hand to feed reassurance to her anxious eyes. Anne came bounding out, saw her friend sitting in the front seat and, without pause, ran over to her, pulled open the door and pulled her out. As she did a light went on in Jane’s eyes, she knew one person from before. She hugged her friend as tears streamed down her face.

  She said, “I don’t know how I know you but I do. It is so good to see someone that I know I know, even if I can’t remember from when. I think that, maybe, you were my friend when I was little at school though it seems like such a long time ago.”

  Anne nodded, tears in her eyes too, “Yes, we first became friends at the start of High School. We were both twelve when we met. It does seem like a long time since then.”

  Following a few steps behind were three other people, her mother and her father and her brother. Again Jane did not know how she knew them, she did not remember them, but she knew them in some way. It was not the picture they sent her. It was something more primal. She knew, without knowing why, that they were family, they were of her and she was of them.

  She ran to them and hugged them, “Mum, Dad, Tim,” she said as she wrapped her arms round them.

  They hugged her back.“Em, our own dearest daughter, our Susan Emily”

  She pulled back and looked puzzled. “I must be mistaken, I thought I knew you but my name is Jane. I don’t know any Emily or Susan. She looked like she might run away, in fear at having made a terrible mistake.

  “Of course, our daughter’s name is Jane; Susan and Emily are her pet names from another life,” her father said. “You are our daughter Jane. You have that same imp smile you did from when you were a little girl.”

  Jane still looked uncertain, but the fear on her face receded.

  Her father continued, “I remember you when you used to ride on my shoulders, when you were the same size as these two little monkeys here,” as he looked to where two small children and a man still sat seated in the car.

  She nodded and walked back to the car, lifting out the two children and looking for Vic to come with her. He picked up David and she picked up Anne. They carried them to where the others were standing.

  Now the circle had been joined by David and his parents.

  David took over and did the formal introductions, saying, “Mr and Mrs McDonald, I would like you to meet my good friend Vic Campbell and his partner, Jane Bennet, with her children, David and Anne. They are visiting for a few days and staying in the cottage down by the creek.”

  Everyone shook hands and exchanged formal greetings.

  David’s father followed on. “Actually we were about to sit down for lunch. We set extra places in the hope that you might arrive soon. Why don’t you come inside and join us. After lunch David will show you to the cottage where you are staying.”

  As they walked inside, Tim came alongside Jane, linking his arm to hers. He whispered in her ear. “You may not remember us properly but I sure as hell remember you. Wait until I start telling all the others of all the things we used to get up to when we were little together, Sis.”

  Jane found herself grinning back at him and said, “If you tell on me I will tell on you, Bro. I don’t remember lots but I do remember some things I am sure you don’t want told.” If not quite true it would soon be, she thought.

  A wonderful week passed. They swam in the dams and creeks; they walked in the fields and the forests. The children had unlimited attention from so many others, always willing to play a game or listen to them.

  Despite initial intentions of secrecy from the staff who worked on the property it was soon clear this could not be sustained, there was too much unconscious behaviour and affection between Jane, Anne, her parents and her children for this to ever work, little David and Anne were shouting out Grandma and Grandpa each time they saw them.

  So David talked to the cook, the gardener and the general station hand, who were working while they were staying over. He explained the situation to them and the need for no talk of this to leave here.

  They all readily agreed and he knew he could trust them. They had all worked here for years and were close family friends as much as employees. So, after this, they really could be a family together again and from then on they spent most of their time in each other’s company.

  Jane and Vic went riding across the farm, helping to move the sheep and cattle from paddock to paddock. Jane particularly loved this; she found she had a natural affinity for horses and balance in riding. Even though she could not remember her lessons as a child the knowledge had stuck. Typical riding parties were Tim, David, Vic, Anne, Jane, and the station hand, while the children would do things with their grandparents. David joked that they had so many horsemen they could muster a thousand head, not the tens and hundreds in their paddocks. But the riding gave them time and outdoor space to discover the world and each other, broken by bursts of wild galloping up and down mountain trails, the wind whipping their faces.

  Jane confided in Vic on the second night. “I don’t know why I was scared. It is so wonderful to be back with my family again and also with Anne. I only have the occasional memory of being a little girl with my Mum and Dad and brother, and I remember a few things with Anne in first year High School. But it is enough. I feel like I have a past and belong somewhere again.”

  Chapter 17 - A Family Meeting

  All too soon the last day came before Vic and Jane packed up to drive home. The others were leaving the next day too, David needed to return to Sydney for work, Jane’s parents’ flight back to England went the day after tomorrow and they would drive back to Sydney with David and Anne.

  It was a very poignant day and they all wanted to slow it down. But it seemed trying to make the clock run slow only made it run faster.

  Anne was conscious of an elephant in the room. She needed to tell Vic and Janes’ parents the news from Alan about a possible pardon and the steps involved. So far she had made no mention of it except to David, not wanting to spoil the wonderful holiday mood. But she must do it today. It was difficult for her to get the others on their own without Jane being there.

  It was funny how, in the space of ten days, Susan or Emily had become Jane in her mind, along with everyone else’s, it seemed. Perhaps it had been that almost disaster on the first day when Jane’s Dad had used the wrong name in an unconscious display of affection, and then had expertly retrieved the situation, turning Susan and Emily into childhood pet names. So, after that, everyone was very careful with the name they used, but it had only taken a couple days until the difficulty passed.

  Anne wondered how she could get the others together, without Jane. It seemed rude to deliberately exclude Jane from a family meeting which was about her. But they could not discuss the legal options with her present, not without telling her the truth that her Jane mind was hiding.

  Then it came to her, Jane had been talking about learning new recipes to cook for Vic and the cook had offered to teach her a couple. That would be the excuse, she would ask the cook to spend an hour or two this afternoon teaching Jane as part of preparing their final night family dinner. It promised to be a special occasion, fitting such a goodbye, a roast leg of lamb, salmon entrees and a selection of wonderful deserts. She went and asked the cook, a lady in her middle years, if she would take Jane under her wing for a couple hours this afternoon, get her to help with the dinner and teach her some new dishes along the way. Once Jane was occupied she would ask David’s Mum and Dad to take little Davie and Annie out for a walk and occupy them while the rest gathered in the living room.

  Five minutes later Jane came bubbling excitedly up to her. “Cook has asked me to help her in the kitchen, to teach me some new dishes, so I have left the children with Vic. I am really looking forward to this.”

  Anne asked David to run down to the cottage to gather Vic and the children while she went and found Jane’s parents who were chatting over a cup of tea with David’s parents. She quickly explained to them all what she needed to do, to talk with Vic and the others about the options to get the murder conviction removed from Jane. David’s parents gladly agreed to take the children for a walk in the garden.

  David kept watch to ensure Jane stayed in the kitchen while Anne spent five minutes repeating what Alan had told her, the pardon option appearing the most promising, but with it the need for Jane’s to have a psychological assessment to confirm her lack of memory.

  Anne could feel resistance in Vic, he was the one who had given up his other life to be with and care for this girl, and he had already lost her once. He said he did not want to take any chances with her wellbeing when he felt she was making good progress in her life with him and they had decided to get married; it was Jane that had decided. He had always wanted this but wanted it to be a deliberate choice on her part, which it now was.

  Jane’s parents had said little to this point; they now said the marriage was wonderful news. They had no words to express their gratitude to Vic for all he had done and knew he would make a wonderful husband for their daughter. So while they wanted to get the legal situation resolved they did would trust Vic’s judgement about what was best for Jane.

  At this point that David, who had been silently watching from the door, spoke. “Vic, for Jane to get married you will need to resolve her identity. To issue a marriage certificate the registrar or church will need to confirm her identity. As she is an English citizen, the UK government will have to have a role. I am not saying that you should tell her what her real name is, but you need identity documents which match her name to a passport or birth certificate in order to get married.

  “If she can get a pardon, then at the same time her parents could seek for her name to be changed to match the name she knows herself by. But to do this, without her requesting it, you some form of authority for her parents to act on her behalf. It sounds to me like this will need an evaluation which confirms that she believes she is Jane Bennet and does not know her other identity and therefore her name should be changed accordingly.

  “It is a job for a lawyer in England to figure out how to do this name change. But at a minimum, I think it will need a parental request along with a medical document which confirms her lack of memory.

  “So, to get married, as you both want, you need a way to do this. I can see no way without something like the psychological assessment that Anne is talking about. However at the same time we must ensure this examination does not cause further damage.

  I have a lot of contacts in the medical field from my work. How about I start by inquiring who has the best expertise in this area. Then I can arrange for you to have a private meeting with whoever seems best so as to inform you about how such an examination is done. When you understand this you can make an informed decision as to whether it is worth the risk.

  “The risk of trying to maintain the life you have now is equally great, if the children or Jane get seriously ill people will seek an identity for her, the same in another year or two when it is time for the children to go to school. So we need to find a way forward, and this is the best I can see.”

  Vic nodded reluctantly. “OK, I can see that now. I hate it but I could not bear to get into the situation you are talking about where her identity comes out anyway and she is arrested and taken to jail. So I agree to you trying to find a good medical person to do this and meeting with them.”

  After this they worked out the details for another half an hour before all agreed that this day was too precious to waste sitting around and talking.

  So they had an afternoon picnic in a hollow in the hills, sitting amongst screeching parrots and kangaroos, then a wonderful evening dinner, with the two children in pride of place, as if it was a party particularly for them, the family birthday party they had never had.

  As the stars came out into the clear air of a mountain summer evening they sat on the veranda in little groups sharing company and tales. For a while Jane’s parents sat with Vic, telling him how much they appreciated all he had done for their daughter and that he was part of their family now and they hoped to shortly meet his own family. Then the groups rearranged and it was Vic and Jane talking to David’s parents while Anne and David talked to Jane’s parents. Then Jane and Tim were locked in close conversation while the rest sat apart. Finally the whole group joined together to share a glass of port, with two sleepy children on grandparents’ laps.

  It was a difficult goodbye the next day. They had all become so close, like one huge family, over the last ten days. Jane said she wanted to see all her new found family and friends again soon and get on with arrangements for her and Vic’s wedding. She wanted to go to Alice Springs, meet Vic’s family and get married there and wanted this new family of hers to all come too.

  Everyone agreed that this was a good idea and they would all come once it could be arranged. It was too hard to tell her of all the obstacles that had to be overcome before it could happen. However, as Anne and Vic said their own goodbyes, both had a sense they had opened the Pandora’s Box in bringing Jane back into the world of others who knew her. It was as if they had started a runaway freight train with no one at the controls. Stopping it from here without a train wreck may be easier said than done.

  Vic felt pleasure in the happiness he had brought to this delightful girl who sat beside him, cuddled into his arm, as they drove away. But he knew a great fear that it could all go horribly wrong and control could slip through his fingers. His mind’s eye saw Jane as an exquisite crystal; flawless perfection outside, but cracks running through the core. One big knock could shatter it into a million fragments, never able to be made whole again

  An old nursery rhyme ran through his mind

  “Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.

  Humpty Dumpty had a big fall.

  All the King’s horses and all the King’s Men.

  Never could put Humpty back together again.”

  Chapter 18 – Divided Loyalty

  The next week, after updating Alan about the holiday visit, David arranged a teleconference with his barrister and the NT Attorney General’s office. On the other end of the line was the NT Minister and his executive assistant, Rebecca Singleton, the Beck of Alan’s conversation.

  His barrister spoke on his behalf. “My client’s representative may be willing to agree to the psychological assessment you are proposing to show she has lost all memory of the events which occurred. This is on the basis that, if we do so, you will seek a pardon for my client from the murder conviction, without the need for a retrial or a resumed sentencing hearing.

  “Such agreement must be on the basis that all events prior to a pardon being granted remain absolutely in confidence. Both the medical examination and any future dealings with her or her representatives must be done in a manner which does not reveal my client’s current location and allows her to continue her current undisturbed life.”

  The Attorney General answered. “That is very much what I had in mind, with the examination to confirm her mental state being the first step.

  “I have sought expert advice from a former justice of the High Court to confirm a pardon is legally appropriate in this situation. I expect to receive this by the end of the month. If this supports our proposed course of action, I will then give an undertaking to seek a pardon on behalf of my government. In the meantime I am happy to give an undertaking of confidentiality on behalf of my department for the other steps which need to occur.

  “The only caveat is that the psychological assessment needs to be done by a person who is acceptable to my office on the basis of their expertise and independence. This party may be required to give in person private evidence to NT legal authorities of their findings. I will leave it to Rebecca to confirm the suitability of such a person directly with you.”

  The barrister replied, “Have you identified any such people you consider to be suitable to do this examination at this stage?”

  Rebecca replied, “As you are aware most of the leading psychologists are based in cities such as Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane. I have a list of names that may be suitable but have yet to meet any or discuss what is required with any of them. Because of the sensitivity of this issue I wish to meet in person with a small number of relevant specialists so as to determine who has most appropriate skills and at the same time ensure this person fully understands the absolute confidentiality of this task. I am happy to fly to one or more major Australian cities to meet with these people if we can agree on a short list with requisite qualifications and expertise.”