“Fuck,” he whispers in my ear. “Where has this pussy been my whole life?”

  I giggle a little bit. He can be so crass but I like it when he’s dirty. “I guess it’s been waiting right here for you,” I say, blushing.

  He growls low with a smile on his lips and kisses me gently. I let myself get lost in his embrace, the entire world forgotten in an instant, just me and Ellis alone in space.

  10

  Ellis

  “You have to come back here.”

  I frown at Delia’s face floating in the middle of my laptop screen.

  “I just left,” I protest. “I don’t plan on leaving Philly for a while.”

  Delia frowns. “Listen, Ellis. I get it, you’re happy out there. But there’s a problem.”

  I arch an eyebrow. “Problem?”

  “Well, two problems. One’s at the office, and the other…”

  “Just come out and say it.”

  Delia sighs. “It’s Mel. She’s been… complaining.”

  “What does that mean?” That doesn’t sound like Mel. She never complains about anything, or at least for as long as I’ve known her. She’s the steadiest and most self-assured person I’ve ever met.

  Delia looks uncomfortable. “Just come back for a few days, okay?”

  “Seriously, Delia, what’s going on with Mel?”

  “Look, she’s feeling… I don’t know. Like she’s losing you. And I think that’s making her say some really weird things.”

  “Delia,” I say, getting annoyed. “Stop being coy and tell me what the hell’s going on.”

  “Just come back, okay?” Delia sighs. “For a few days.”

  I let out an annoyed breath. “Fine.”

  “Good. I’ll see you soon then.”

  We hang up and I try calling Mel next, but she doesn’t answer. I call Claire last and tell her about the trip.

  “Just for a day or two,” I promise. “I think there’s some problem at the office.”

  “Can’t you do it remotely?” she asks. I can hear the worry in her voice.

  I clench my jaw for a second. “Apparently not. And it’s not just an office problem.”

  She hesitates. “What else is it?”

  “You know about our… arrangement. About my other girlfriends.”

  She’s quiet for a second and I hate myself so much in this moment.

  “I know,” she says softly. “I kind of hoped we wouldn’t talk about them.”

  “I’m not going to lie to you, Claire. Part of why I’m going back to Seattle is because my girl there is having a problem.”

  “What kind of problem?”

  “I don’t know, honestly. But Delia says it’s urgent so I have to go see what’s happening.”

  “You’re not…” She trails off. “You know what, I don’t want to know. You’re coming back soon, right?”

  “I promise,” I say heatedly. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’m only going to take care of whatever’s happening.”

  “Okay,” she says. “Have a safe trip.”

  I hang up the phone feeling like a piece of shit but I know this is necessary. If Delia needs me to come back so much then it must be something important.

  I don’t know what could possibly be wrong with Mel, though. She’s never had a problem with our arrangement in the past. Maybe it was our last conversation, maybe she didn’t actually take that very well. She seemed to totally understand, but maybe…

  I have a million thoughts zooming through my brain. I decide to fly private this time and get on the first plane I can hire. I’m up in the air barely a few hours after talking to Delia and back in Seattle a few hours after that.

  I head to my Seattle apartment and text Delia on the way. I’m here. What’s up with Mel?

  She answers right away. I’ll meet you at your place.

  I don’t know why she’s being so secretive but fine, whatever, I agree. I get home and get settled just a few minutes before Delia buzzes. I let her up and pour us both a glass of wine.

  Delia comes in looking a little frantic. “I’m sorry you had to come out here,” she says, and places her laptop down on my kitchen island. She flips open the lid and accepts the glass of white. “But you needed to see this in person. I didn’t think you’d believe it otherwise.”

  I hover behind her, not saying anything, as he pulls open her email. Right at the top is a message from Mel titled “Severance.”

  I narrow my eyes as Delia glances back at me and lets me read the email. It’s clearly from Mel but it doesn’t sound like her, not even a little bit.

  Delia, hi, hon. I hate to write you like this but you haven’t been answering my calls after I left you that voicemail. Listen, I’m very serious about what I said. I know that Ellis is starting to move on and I’m not the type of girl to be left behind. I’ve put a lot of time and energy into him and I think it’s time for that to pay off. So here’s what I’m looking for. I need a little severance pay. I’ve gotten used to him taking care of anything I need, and if that’s gonna stop, well… I need something to help me out. So please, find something for me. Because I’m sure that he doesn’t want the world to know what I know about perfect little Ellis. Kisses, Mel.

  I have to read the email twice before finally asking Delia to play the voicemail. It’s clearly Mel and she’s very clearly asking to be paid off.

  I honestly can’t believe it. I start pacing, not sure of myself enough to actually say anything right now. I hammer my wine back and am tempted to smash the glass against the wall, but I just put it down in the sink instead with a low sigh.

  I look back at Delia. “When did this start?” I ask her finally.

  “As soon as you left,” she says. “I got that message plus some texts that I deleted. I hoped she was going to move on until I got this email, and, well…” She trails off, looking nervous. “What are you going to do?”

  I shake my head. “I’m going to go talk to her.”

  “Ellis, I think that’s a bad idea.”

  “Why? It’s Mel. I’ve known her forever. She’s been my friend…” I trail off, biting back anger.

  If she were really my friend she’d never threaten me like that. And for what, for fucking money? If she wanted money, I’d just give it to her. I still love her even if it’s not that kind of love anymore. I’d always want to help her. If she were honest with me about relying on my money and needing something to tide her over while she got herself together, I’d help her out.

  Instead, she’s threatening me through Delia. And that I can’t stand.

  “We were friends,” I growl.

  Delia looks worried. “Please don’t do anything stupid.”

  “Thanks for showing me this.” I grab a light rain jacket and toss it on. “But I have to get going.”

  “Ellis,” she groans.

  I leave the apartment without another word. Delia can show herself out or she can drink the rest of the wine. I don’t care either way.

  I grab a cab and it takes me to Mel’s place. She lives in a little townhouse that I bought for her years ago. It’s in a nice neighborhood, not too quiet but not in the middle of everything. Cost a hell of a lot of money, but of course, now she wants more.

  I get out and walk up to her door. I bang on it and wait for her to answer. It’s raining softly and I watch the drops fall down from the gutters and splatter over the little stone gargoyle I bought her in France three years ago. I’m tempted to kick it over when she answers the door.

  She looks surprised to see me. “Ellis,” she says, forcing a smile on her lips. “I thought you were in Philly.”

  “Let me in.”

  She hesitates but steps aside. I walk into the entrance hallway and stomp off some of the rain from my boots.

  Her place is immaculately decorated, like a Pinterest page come to life. Mel’s put a lot of time and a lot of my money into making her place look like this. As I head into her kitchen, I realize just how much I’ve sunk into this girl.

  And now she has the fucking gall to ask for more. To fucking threaten my assistant in order to get more.

  She looks nervous when I turn on her. “How could you do that?” I ask softly.

  “Do what?”

  “Don’t play this innocent bullshit,” I say. “Of course Delia showed me everything. What the fuck are you thinking, Mel?”

  Her doe-eyed innocent act drops in an instant, replaced by a hard-edged anger. “I’m not letting you roll all over me, that’s all it is,” she says, crossing her arms.

  “Roll all over you?”

  She lets out a sharp laugh. “You appear out of nowhere and basically break up with me. How do you think I’d react?”

  “I wasn’t breaking up with you,” I say softly.

  But as soon as the words leave my lips, I realize something.

  That’s exactly what I was doing.

  I was breaking up with her.

  Because I want to be with Claire, and only Claire.

  She rolls her eyes. “You’re so full of shit, Ellis.”

  “Fine, maybe I was ending things. But fuck, you’re going to threaten Delia for money? For fucking money?”

  She nods sharply. “Goddamn right I am. I’ve put a lot of time into you. I’m getting something out of it.”

  I gape at her. “We’ve been open for years. You’ve had other boyfriends. I’ve fucking seen it.”

  She waves that away. “So what?”

  “So? I bought you this house. I fucking bought you all of this stuff. What else do you want from me?”

  “One hundred thousand,” she says flatly.

  I just stare, completely at a loss. For some reason that specific number seems worse than anything else.

  “So that’s what we were worth,” I say softly.

  She shrugs. “Just something to help tide me over.”

  “Until what, you find your next rich guy?”

  She just shrugs and doesn’t reply.

  I pace her kitchen, her familiar kitchen. We’ve been friends for so long and now…

  “Fuck that,” I say, coming to a stop. “You’re not getting another cent out of me.”

  “Are you sure that’s wise?” she asks. “The stuff I know about you could tank your career and your reputation.”

  “Go ahead,” I growl at her. “I’m not being blackmailed by you.”

  She just shrugs. “Okay. Your call. I’m sure your story will bring me in some decent money at least.”

  I’m tempted to smash her kitchen, the kitchen I bought her, into tiny little pieces. I’m tempted to yell and shout and break shit. But instead, I stare at her quietly for a moment.

  “I should’ve done this a long time ago,” I say softly.

  She just laughs. “Maybe. But I would’ve asked for more.”

  I walk past her without another word.

  “You have a few days to change your mind,” she calls after me. “And you really should!”

  I leave her house and I don’t look back. As far as I’m concerned, she doesn’t exist for me at all anymore.

  I walk alone down the street in the fucking rain. It’s like some bad movie. I’m in a horrible mood and the water’s not helping, but I can’t bring myself to stop.

  Mel betrayed me. She wants to stab me in the back for fucking money.

  I can’t believe how fucked it all is.

  But the more I walk, the more I’m certain about two things.

  First, Mel won’t get a dime from me. I don’t care what she says. Most of it will be bullshit anyway. I don’t have skeletons in my closet and I’ve been nothing but good to her.

  But second, and more important, I know that I have to do something.

  I have to break up with all my girlfriends.

  It won’t be easy. Some of them will take it better than others, although they all know what the deal is. I haven’t seen some in months and I don’t even know if we still have an agreement anymore. I haven’t slept with most of them in a while.

  But it has to be done. I want Claire and Claire alone, and it’s time to make that real. Even if I haven’t been with anyone else since I met her, I need to make it official.

  It’s time to close all my open relationships. Except for the one that matters to me.

  I grab a cab and head back to my apartment. Thankfully Delia’s still there, the wine bottle half empty.

  “You’re back,” she says. “I expected you to be gone longer.”

  “I’m not giving Mel money,” I growl at her. “So do what you have to do to protect me, but I won’t give her a dime.”

  Delia nods like she expected that. “Okay,” she says.

  “And I need to book some flights. I have a few girls to end things with.”

  Delia looks surprised. “You’re… breaking up with your girlfriends?”

  I nod once. “It’s the right thing to do. I’m finished with them and it’s time to let them move on.”

  “Some of them already have,” she points out.

  “Good. That’ll make it easier.”

  “And you’re going it in person?”

  “I have to.”

  She hesitates. “What about Claire?”

  “She’s the only one I want.”

  Delia watches me before a big smile flashes across her face. “Well, look at you. Finally growing up.”

  I grin back at her. “Yeah, I guess so. Now go make those reservations. I’m going to have a long, very taxing week.”

  “Oh, you’ll be okay,” she says, already typing on her laptop. “Most of the girls have other boyfriends already. The ones that don’t are married to their careers. You’ll be fine.”

  I grunt and hope she’s right.

  Because in this moment, nothing seems like it’s going to be okay. I want to give up and skip all this bullshit, but I know I can’t.

  I’m doing the right thing, if not for myself, then for Claire.

  11

  Claire

  He said he was going to be gone for just a few days.

  I don’t hear from him for two weeks.

  I try not to panic at first. I mean, he’s a busy man with a lot of stuff on his plate. I can’t pressure him into doing anything he doesn’t want to do, and if he’s too busy to call or text, there’s nothing I can do about it.

  I manage to hold it together for a week. I’m pregnant and alone, still trying to figure out what I’m going to do about this baby, and now he’s not even messaging me anymore. I want to scream and freak out but I keep it all together.

  At least for the first week. At least until I hear the rumors.

  It starts as a little buzzing around the office. I’m not sure what people are all excited about but I keep my head down and do my work like I’ve been doing this past week. Eventually though, I can’t help myself.

  “What’s everyone been talking about?” I ask Brian in the break room when I find myself alone with him.

  He gives me a look. “You didn’t hear yet?”

  I shake my head and try to keep it casual as I make a cup of coffee. “Nope, what’s up?”

  “Word on the street is Ellis might be out as the CEO.”

  I stop what I’m doing and turn slowly over to him. “What?”

  He doesn’t seem to notice my distress. “I know, it’s insane. Apparently, some girlfriend came forward with all these lurid details about their open relationship and accused him of gaslighting her and general emotional abuse. I don’t think he like, beat her or anything, but she says he was pretty manipulative and controlling.” Brian shakes his head. “It’s totally insane.”

  I try to keep it together. “Is this real? It sounds, like… pretty crazy.”

  “I don’t know,” he admits. “That’s the rumor. There’s some stuff about it online but the details are kind of hazy. I don’t know what’s going on, honestly. Everyone’s just been speculating like crazy. I mean, you met him, he didn’t seem like a horrible guy, right?”

  I shake my head quickly. “Not at all.”

  “So who knows.” He gives me a little smile. “You know how the office can be. Everybody loves them some gossip.” He leaves the break room with a little wave.

  And I instantly start hyperventilating.

  I feel like I might pass out. Vaguely, I realize that I’m having a panic attack. I hug myself and lean against the counter near the sink, just in case I get sick. My skin gets clammy and I feel dizzy and, oh my god, someone accused Ellis of being abusive, one of his girlfriends.

  I know the girlfriends are real. I’m one of them. But abusive? Gaslighting?

  I don’t see it. I don’t understand it at all.

  It takes me almost ten minutes before I calm down. I’m lucky nobody else comes in. Finally, still shaking a little bit, I make it back to my desk and call him.

  I get voicemail again. “Ellis, please call me back. I’m hearing some rumors about you. I need to talk to you.”

  I hang up and try calling again and again. He never answers.

  The next week is a nightmare.

  The rumors get worse. I even read an article online about the whole thing. Apparently, what Brian said was more or less accurate. This girl, someone named Melissa Shane, accused Ellis of being emotionally abusive. Ellis’s personal assistant has since come out with evidence that suggests this Melissa Shane girl was just trying to blackmail Ellis for money, but nobody knows what the truth is.

  I can’t let myself believe Ellis is abusive. The blackmail thing almost makes sense, since Ellis is a rich man and people want to take what he has, but all of it is horrifying. I don’t understand why he’s not answering his phone or why he’s not messaging me at all.

  It makes him seem even more guilty. It makes me want to scream and cry.

  I don’t know how I finally make it through the week. I’m like a zombie, drifting through the day. I’m pregnant with this man’s baby and he’s completely ghosting me. On top of that, he might be abusive, or he might be getting blackmailed. And he might lose the company he created.

  I don’t know what to think. I’m shaking every night, trying to keep it together and failing.

  Ellis has been like a hurricane, ripping through my life and changing everything. It’s like I can easily look back at things and see a clear distinction of how my life was going before Ellis and how it’s going now after him. Even if he never reappears, my life is going to be drastically different.