What Adrik gave me.

  I had Nephilim power too. I’d known it all along, but I’d been too afraid to use it. Too afraid to become. Because that would mean letting go of Adrik. I’d been terrified that by using this power, it would mean the end of Adrik’s life.

  But if I didn’t use it now, it would mean the end of everyone else. It wasn’t just my life I was fighting for. It was Milo’s. Faith’s. My mother’s. Every supernatural on this planet.

  I might have been willing to sacrifice myself for Adrik, but I couldn’t do that for them. It’s what Faith had been trying to tell me all along. I had to do everything in my power for my own people. And I had to trust the universe to do the same.

  With Raguel’s power still boring down on me, I released my control and unleashed what was inside me. What had been growing all along.

  Light—brighter than before—flashed between us. Raguel screamed, and my hand shot upward, punching a hole straight through his chest. Raguel’s body shook, and the pain in my own heart intensified until it eclipsed everything else.

  My hand squeezed.

  The earth shook.

  Raguel and I were torn apart.

  Overhead, wings blotted out the sky as Raphziel slammed into Raguel and sent the two of them tumbling away from me.

  I gasped, sucking in a deep breath as the air returned to my lungs. The dark spear of death twisting against my heart vanished.

  Thank the angel.

  That was not the way I wanted to go.

  “You good, baby girl?” Gran was at my ear, breathless and obviously terrified for me.

  “Raguel,” was all I could manage.

  I felt heavy. Sticky with something. And still, the light inside me continued to burn from the inside out.

  “That fuckass is getting his, don’t worry.”

  Fuckass? Really?

  If I lived through this, I was going to give Gran cursing lessons.

  Before I could form a response, Milo and Jax were there, each one lifting an arm and helping me to my feet.

  “Are you all right?” Jax asked. The blood on his face had slowed and dried, leaving him a hot mess. A hot alive mess.

  “I don’t see blood,” Milo said, looking me over as they pulled me to safety.

  “I’m fine,” I assured them. “I just need to—”

  I began to pull out of their grasp, determined to restart the whole light-ray trick and take Raguel down, but my words were cut off by an ear-splitting scream.

  I looked up to see Raph stumble sideways. Beside him, Raguel’s mouth was open in a frozen scream that had already died off just as suddenly as it had started.

  Raguel stood motionless as if suspended in shock.

  Then, without warning, he fell face-first into the asphalt.

  The power that had clung to him like a second skin was gone.

  Raph turned back to me and met my eyes.

  “It’s over,” he said. “I had just enough…left in me...to give you.”

  I took a step forward, dread heavy in me as I waited for Raguel to move. “Is he—” I couldn’t bring myself to ask.

  “You did it,” Raph breathed. “His weakness was his own heart. Literally.”

  “What?” Something wet dropped from my limp hand. It made a splat against the pavement. I looked down, and my stomach lurched as I realized what it was.

  “That’s a fucking heart,” Milo said, disbelief lacing his words.

  “Raguel’s dead,” Raph announced, and then, without warning, he fell too. It wasn’t until he landed against the pavement beside Raguel that I realized what he’d meant.

  He’d given me his Nephilim life force. So I’d have enough to beat Raguel. And now he was going to lose his life because of it.

  Raph was willingly dying. For me.

  “No!”

  I ran over and dropped down beside Raph. My mother appeared on my other side. Somewhere behind me, I heard Gran screaming at her to get back to safety. But she only stared down at Raph with a horrified expression.

  His breaths came in short, shallow gasps, but it was his eyes that made my stomach clench with dread.

  “Cora,” he whispered, the effort clearly causing him pain.

  “I’m here,” she said, trying her best not to cry. She reached for his hand, but I couldn’t tear my gaze from Raph’s aging face.

  He was becoming mortal right before my eyes.

  “I want you to know I care for you,” he said to my mother. “Deeply.” He coughed, expelling dark fluid from his mouth.

  “Of course you do, but you can tell me later,” my mother said. “When you’re better.”

  He didn’t answer her. Instead, he looked at me. “You were right,” he said. “My tears. They were borne of joy, not pain.”

  “Raph, you can heal from this.”

  “Be better . . . than us,” he rasped.

  “Please don’t die,” I said, hating myself for the selfish fear that made me say it.

  But Raph smiled. “He’s going to be fine. He has you.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I’m not enough. He needs—”

  “You’ve already become enough.” He seized, chest spasming as he gasped for breath.

  “Raph, please don’t go,” my mother pleaded.

  But there was no answer.

  The sorrow and brokenness reflected in her eyes made my choice simple.

  I didn’t think.

  I simply acted.

  Slamming my hands against Raph’s chest, I willed the light inside me back into Raphziel.

  At first, there was nothing, but after a moment, I felt the energy. It was nothing like fae magic. No glamour. No illusion. No quick tricks.

  This was raw life force.

  Draining from me and into Raph.

  I thought of Adrik lying somewhere behind me in a pile of literal rubble. He was fading too. And maybe what I had would only be enough for Raph. But I couldn’t stop now. Not after what he’d just done. Someone like Raph…if he could sacrifice himself, I could too.

  And if I could make him whole again—give him what Adrik and Raph had given to me—maybe it would be enough for him to heal Adrik too.

  It would probably kill me; I knew that.

  I accepted it.

  Raph would take good care of my friends. I trusted him now.

  The light gleamed, the glowing starting in my own arms and hands and then flowing into Raph until we both shone like the sun glinting off a metal bumper.

  One second, I was full of the power and life force Raph and Adrik had given to me, and the next, I was empty.

  Done.

  I slumped over as Raph gasped for breath.

  He opened his eyes just as mine fluttered closed.

  Arms slipped around me, pulling me to my feet and away from Raph’s side. I let Milo hold me and watched as Jax took my place, pressing his fingers to Raph’s throat to check his vitals.

  But there was no need.

  Raph was groaning, struggling to sit up.

  My mother cried and hugged him as he wrapped his arms around her to reassure her. I exhaled, blinking against the darkness encroaching on my vision. Exhaustion, heavier than I’d ever felt, threatened to drown me. But I forced myself to remain focused.

  “Did it work?” I asked, breathless from the emptiness inside me.

  Raph looked over, and I gasped when I saw the wrinkles still present. Crow’s feet around the eyes. Lines along his forehead conveying his worry.

  Blemishes that shouldn’t have existed for a Nephilim.

  “I’m alive,” he said, a surprised sort of sadness lingering in his expression. “And mortal,” he added.

  My stomach sank as I realized the truth of his words. I’d given all I had, and in the end, it had saved his life but not his immortality. My mother’s gratitude was the only thing that kept me from weeping as every shred of hope I had for saving Adrik shattered once and for all.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Sirens screamed in the distance. I recognized them with dull awareness, but inside, I couldn’t bring myself to care. We’d won—and I’d lost. Whatever came next for me, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t bring myself to let loose the scream building inside me. In fact, when I opened my mouth, no sound came out. The others spoke in low, urgent tones, but I shut them all out.

  “Gem, the police,” Milo said, gently shaking my shoulders.

  I didn’t answer.

  Milo’s hands on me tightened. “We need to get everyone and go.”

  “Luca,” Jax began.

  “I’m already on it,” Luca called out.

  A moment later, Jax and Luca started shouting orders, and supes hurried back and forth, cleaning up, retrieving the wounded, and using glamour after glamour to hide the reality of what had actually happened here.

  “Gem,” Milo said again, louder now. More insistent.

  The sound of his voice ripped the lid off the desolation slowly eating away at my insides.

  I ignored him and yanked free, running to where Adrik lay near the building at our backs. Luca stood near him, still guarding his body even as he shouted orders at his people. He looked up at me, regret and compassion filling his usually tough expression.

  “I dragged him back here,” he said quietly. “He’s unharmed but…”

  I dropped down beside Adrik, cupping his cheek. It was cold. His skin pale and weathered. Stubble dotted his jawline. Longer than before.

  “He’s chilled,” I said, peeling off my jacket and tucking it around his shoulders. “He’s never been cold.”

  “He’s mortal, Gem.”

  Luca’s words were soft. Gentle.

  But I shoved them aside. Swallowed the scream.

  No.

  Adrik couldn’t die.

  I refused to accept it.

  Instead, I lay down on Adrik, using my own body heat to warm him. His chest rose and fell against mine but barely. His breaths were too slow. His body temperature…

  He was human.

  And that meant his death was inevitable. But I couldn’t bring myself to accept it. I couldn’t live through losing him. I wouldn’t.

  “Gem,” Luca said, more urgently now. “The police are coming.”

  “Let them.”

  I didn’t move to get up.

  “Gem, this block is destroyed,” he said, firmer now.

  “I don’t care.”

  I pressed my cheek to Adrik’s, willing it to warm him. To heal him.

  “We’ll take him back to the Underground,” Luca said.

  “I don’t think he’ll make it,” John said.

  His words were barely above a whisper.

  I pretended not to hear him.

  The sirens grew louder, and still, I lay against Adrik, somewhere between numb and destroyed.

  Inside me, the light had all but gone out. The foreign power I’d felt earlier nothing but a ghost now.

  Somewhere behind me, footsteps sounded, heavy and quick against the pavement.

  “Human cops…”

  Faith was breathless.

  I ignored her.

  Luca said something.

  Milo replied.

  I ignored them all and clung more tightly to Adrik, my body pressed against his as close as I could get.

  Nothing else mattered.

  Not cops.

  Not the destruction we’d caused.

  Nothing.

  “Gem, sweetie.”

  Milo’s voice was close at my ear.

  I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking them all out.

  “Gem, we really need to go. This area is about to be crawling with humans.”

  “We’ve glamoured ourselves, but it won’t last long. Not with this kind of damage,” Emilio said.

  “If they find us here, they’ll arrest us,” Luca said.

  “I don’t care,” I snapped, not even bothering to open my eyes.

  “Pulse is slipping.”

  My eyes snapped open, and I saw Faith with her fingers pressed to Adrik’s wrist. She met my eyes, worry and empathy shining back at me.

  “Get away from him,” I said, my voice hard.

  “He’s dying, Gem.” Her eyes flashed. Anger. Determination.

  Jax laid a hand on her shoulder, but she didn’t back down.

  “You have to let him go,” she added.

  Rage burned where light had once been. Darkness seeped in at the edges, filling the holes where my heart had already cracked over what was to come. And at Faith’s words, fury nearly choked me.

  Milo pulled on me. “Come on, honey. Let’s—”

  “No!” My scream startled him.

  He dropped my arm.

  They all looked at me. Concern. Worry. Empathy. Sorrow.

  I didn’t want any of it.

  “Get away from me,” I snapped. “If you want to leave, then just go. But I’m not getting up. This can’t all have been for nothing, do you hear me?”

  Milo exchanged glances with someone over my shoulder, but I was done.

  Closing my eyes, I sank back against my Nephilim mate.

  That’s what he was.

  My true mate. My soul’s other half.

  And if it killed me to lie here with him, then so be it.

  There was no version of a world I wanted to live in without him anyway.

  My eyes burned with tears just thinking about it, and I didn’t hold them back. I couldn’t have if I tried. Where Raph’s tears had been about joy, mine were utter torment.

  Tears slipped out from behind my closed lids.

  I didn’t make a sound as they fell.

  One. By one. By one.

  Pieces of my broken heart seeping from my body. For the love that would never be. And the heart I’d finally learned to open again, only to have it shattered and ripped loose. As surely as Raguel’s heart lay discarded somewhere in this street, mine would lie here too before this day was over.

  The power inside me stirred.

  I swallowed it back again.

  It had already failed me enough for one day.

  Someone gasped.

  “What the…”

  Milo’s voice was full of disbelief.

  “Gem.” My mother now. Uncertain.

  “Gem, get up.” Faith.

  Urgent now.

  “Go away,” I said, my voice cracking as another tear slipped down my cheeks. “I told you, just leave me here alone. Save yourselves.”

  “Feels like you’re the one doing the saving.”

  My cheek rumbled with the vibration of the voice, and my eyes flew open. I sat up, nearly knocking Milo over, but he scrambled back to give me room.

  Adrik looked up at me. Eyes open. Clear. Lips curved.

  His color was returning with every breath.

  “Is this real?” I asked in a strangled voice.

  “As real as it gets.” He reached up and pressed a rough palm to my face. I reached down and did the same to him, my hand coming away wet from my own fallen tears.

  When I moved to brush them away, he caught my wrist, stopping me.

  “Leave them,” he said. “Just a few more minutes.”

  “I don’t understand,” I said. “How—”

  “Your tears,” he said, smiling wider now, his eyes full of joy and happiness. And life.

  “My… but I’m not. They aren’t— My power is gone.” I shook my head, completely stunned.

  Inside me, the light surged. My skin warmed. Adrik’s eyes practically glowed.

  “I don’t think so. Feel that?”

  I nodded. “But how?”

  He grabbed my hand, linking our fingers. “We’re connected now, angel. You brought me back. Using my own life force energy. Which I gave to you first.”

  Angel.

  My mind hadn’t moved from that word. It sounded innocent enough as a pet name, but something about his expression told me it was much more than that.

  As if in answer, my skin flushed, and the power inside me spiked. My shoulder blades began to burn. Just like earlier this morning only worse. Much, much worse.

  I sat up, staring down at my own hands. Then reaching around to my back and running my hands over my roughened skin. There were ridges now, marks that hadn’t been there before.

  Suddenly, cutting pain sliced into me, and the skin on my back split open. My fingers came away streaked with blood.

  I cursed, sucking in breaths between gritted teeth.

  “What is happening to me?” I choked out.

  Adrik sat up, studying me and leaning in close, his hand in mine.

  Heat. So much fucking heat. And boiling pain. Raw, stabbing, blinding pain.

  “Don’t fight it, angel. Don’t resist. Just surrender.”

  Adrik’s voice was the calm in the storm. Even if I couldn’t trust what was happening to me, I trusted him. So I did what he asked. I took a wobbly breath and let go.

  Some outside force wrapped itself around me. Wind. But something more than that. Something solid and unending. Something unearthly.

  My back arched as I was lifted off the ground. Higher and higher until I hung suspended in midair.

  Gritting my teeth, I let go.

  Flesh tore open. My back burned and ran with blood that grew darker and darker as it dripped to the ground underneath my feet.

  I screamed.

  Over and over, I let go and let it in.

  My back felt like it was breaking in two.

  The pain became unbearable, and then—

  Like a candle being snuffed out, it was just … gone.

  I opened my eyes and looked down at Adrik, who’d risen off the ground, hovering so that we were eye level. His black wings extended around him, massive and broad and so beautiful my eyes filled with tears at the sight.

  “Thank you for catching me,” I said, but he shook his head.

  “I didn’t.”

  I looked down and saw that we were both still suspended midair. Except that Adrik wasn’t touching me at all. Below us, Jax, Milo, Faith, my mother, Luca—everyone stared up at me in wide-eyed silence.

  “How…?”

  I looked back at Adrik, and he pointed to something beside me.

  “Look.”

  I twisted my neck and froze, completely overcome. Quickly, I turned to the other side, and sure enough, it was the same. Black wings, the color of a moonless night, stretched out from beside me in both directions.

  “These are…”