Taking a chance, I rested my hand just above her waist and guided her down the remaining stairs.

  She didn’t flinch at my touch. Instead, she surprised me by relaxing, which had me doing the same.

  Being alpha required me to maintain a certain stance around the pack. I wasn’t overly friendly with the other wolves. I always alluded confidence and strength. My job was to be a person everyone could count on.

  Being a younger alpha, that wasn’t always an easy task, but I’d managed to do a decent job over the last few years with my dad’s guidance. Now, I needed to find a balance between being a respectable alpha and a deserving mate, which was not as easy as I’d hoped.

  We got to the first floor, and I went toward the kitchen and dining room. We had a commercial-sized kitchen and a dining room that was more like a mini cafeteria. There were two long wooden tables with bench seats that spanned twenty feet each.

  “This is where those without family or anyone wanting to socialize eats. Pack members just need to give no less than one hour notice and the pack cooks prepare everything. Tonight is their night off, but this place is pretty crowded six nights a week,” I said.

  She tapped her fingers over the table without commenting and ventured through the arched doorway and into the kitchen where Vaughn was shoving the last of a sandwich down his throat. “Hey, guys.”

  “I take it Embry didn’t find you,” Cait huffed.

  Vaughn glanced at me, but I let it go. Cait wasn’t stupid.

  “Uh, maybe I should go find her to…” Vaughn pleaded with me to give him something, but I just shrugged.

  “It’s okay, Vaughn. I’m starting to figure out what’s going on,” Cait said, but there was less bite in her words than I expected.

  “Right. Well, I was out of mustard. I’m going to go now,” Vaughn said, making a quick escape.

  Cait turned to me as soon as we were alone and poked me in the chest. “I don’t like the telepathy talk. If you want a moment alone with me, just ask. I don’t like liars and don’t appreciate you making my best friend lie.”

  “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” I replied sincerely.

  “Did you want to tell me something?” she asked, tapping her foot and leaning toward me. I wondered if she was even aware of it.

  I smiled down at her. “Not really, but you seemed interested in learning during dinner, so I was going to show you the library next and see what you thought.”

  Some of Cait’s annoyance left her tense shoulders. “I guess that’s fine with me.”

  I held my arm out. “Right this way then.” We circled around the kitchen and exited through the other hallway. The bottom level of the house allowed for people to walk around in a circle, which saved us from backtracking when the offices were all in use.

  We passed a couple of them before getting to the library tower. She went right through the door without waiting for me, then stopped just a few feet in to take in the room.

  I would have given anything to hear her thoughts as she looked up at the fifteen-foot floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. There were two ladders on each wall with a spiral staircase in the far-right corner.

  Cait’s hand trailed over the shelves as the shock wore off. “How old are most of these books?”

  “Decades to centuries. Most of them are wolf history-type books, but there are some classics and newer reads in here as well. By the window, there is a catalog to help you find whatever you might be looking for,” I answered.

  She nodded toward the stairs. “What’s up there?”

  “Go on up and see.”

  Cait glanced back at me, all earlier attitude replaced with mischief as she grinned. “Don’t mind if I do.”

  My pulse picked up as I scented her excitement. If only I could tell whether the emotion was for me or the unknown of what she was going to find upstairs.

  Definitely not you, but if you want to shift, I’m sure I can change that, my wolf said, and I chuckled.

  I have no doubts, old friend.

  13

  Cait

  The mark on my wrist still pulsed as I followed Roman through the house, but there had been no more bursts of pain since before dinner. My hope was that the more I learned, the more control I could gain over the reactions I had. More likely, I was just getting used to Roman’s presence, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

  Either way, I was annoyed that Embry had set me up. I should have known something was going on when she darted off so quickly, but I hadn’t suspected anything was amiss until it was too late.

  Roman was being the perfect gentleman. I could tell my resistance to him was getting under his skin, but he didn’t push for too much, and I was grateful.

  I had wanted to check out the library since walking inside the house, so I didn’t decline the invite, even when it meant spending more time alone with Roman.

  The room was even more magnificent than I’d imagined. The floor-to-ceiling mahogany shelves and rolling ladders had me itching to pretend I was Belle in the beast’s castle. In a way, I guess I was. Except my beast was a wolf.

  My beast.

  Was he really mine, though?

  Roman acted as if he wanted to be—at least he had throughout the day—but did I want him to be? Did I even have a choice? I needed to find out as soon as possible. Maybe somewhere in these books, I could learn more about wolf mates.

  Except I had no desire to do that with Roman watching me.

  With his encouragement, I headed up the stairs. They went straight up, winding tightly and giving my legs a workout I wasn’t used to. When I got to the top, the area was open with a single table in the middle and a couch pushed against one of the two walls that were covered in more bookshelves.

  While all of that was appealing, what caught my attention most were the windows on the outside wall. My feet moved without thought, and I pressed both hands against the glass as I took in the view. Once again, my previous misconceptions that Texas was a desert state were proven wrong. Everything I saw from the window was lush and full of life.

  The sunset painted deep orange colors across the sky with flashes of red striking through it as the sun slowly descended behind the trees. Oregon had some amazing sunsets, but the serenity that settled deep into my bones was something else entirely.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Roman whispered.

  He was so close behind me that I could feel his breath on my neck as he said the words. My first reaction was to lean into him, but I stuffed that down and nodded. “I can see why Embry loves it here so much.”

  “My favorite place is on the roof of my cabin when the stars are out. There’s nothing more peaceful,” he said.

  I took a step to the side to give myself some space before focusing back out the window. “Sounds like it.”

  A purple hue bled into the fiery sky, and I knew I could stand there all day watching the colors change. “Is this area open to everyone, or just certain people?” I asked, referencing toward the area behind us.

  “You’re welcome anywhere in this house, at any time,” he replied.

  I wanted to say something about not wanting to be just anywhere, but figured we really weren’t at the joking stage of whatever this was between us.

  “Thank you. I appreciate the hospitality,” I said.

  Roman reached for me, gently holding on to my hip. “Cait, I know—”

  I cut him off. “Not now. I don’t want to talk about the mark or mates or anything else wolf-related. Okay?”

  He smiled, but I could tell it was forced. “Then, what would you like to talk about?” he asked.

  Was there anything to say that didn’t have to do with wolf stuff? I had no idea. Part of me just wanted to be left alone, but I didn’t want to be an asshole and ask him to leave what was technically his space.

  When I didn’t answer, he continued, “What did you do before going to Australia?”

  This wasn’t really any better as far as conversation went, but it was easier. I’d learned to say the words as if I was reading from a script. It helped to keep the emotions under wraps that I didn’t like to share with strangers.

  “My mom died, and, with Embry’s encouragement, I went traveling. I spent a few years in foreign countries, doing whatever I wanted and seeing what I only dreamed of before. When I was ready to settle down but not come home, I found a job in Australia. I’d only been there a couple months when…well, you know.”

  I didn’t look at Roman as I said the words. My gaze stayed on the vibrant patterns above the trees that were changing by the minute.

  He kept his distance, but I could sense a rigidness set in. “I’m sorry you were alone dealing with a loss like that, but I can understand why.”

  I let out a slight chuckle. “Can you, though? Your parents are still alive and well.” There was nothing I hated more than when others tried to compare grief. Not one person could understand another’s, because even if it was the same kind of loss, the sorrow was never the same.

  “My dad might be walking, but he nearly died a few years ago and never fully recovered from his injuries. I shouldn’t be the alpha so young, but he wasn’t fit to face a challenger after he was attacked by a group of rogue wolves. When word got out, we knew it was only time before the other packs would come sniffing around.

  “When they did, I was already alpha. We thought things would be okay, but the alpha of the west Texas territory is a ruthless bastard. He sent one of his own to challenge me. A move that was purely to break me, and it nearly worked. I was forced to kill a wolf who didn’t deserve to die.”

  Shit, that was heavy. Much more than I expected to come out of him. His situation was nowhere near the same as mine but sounded just as painful. I couldn’t imagine taking a life that wasn’t deserving, and I found myself sympathizing with him.

  He continued, “When I say I understand, I don’t mean your situation, but about the need to get away. I wasn’t in Australia for vacation. I was trying to get away for the anniversary of the day I killed that wolf. Some say my guilt is misplaced, the wolf would have killed me if I didn’t end him first, but he was forced to challenge me. None of it was right.”

  “What kind of monster would send one of their own into a situation they knew the person couldn’t survive?” I asked, not really expecting an answer. I was already aware the rules and structure of this world were completely different than anything I’d ever known.

  Roman grunted, and his balled-up fist thudded against the window. “My grandfather.”

  My eyes widened. “What? Your grandfather wanted you killed?”

  Roman laughed, but the sound contained no happiness. “No, but he wants our land, and he doesn’t care at what price. He was trying to break me.”

  “Is this your mom or dad’s father?” I asked.

  “My mother’s. She met my dad by accident. They were both in the right place at the right time you could say. Cohen, my mom’s father, forbid her from ever seeing her mate again when he learned where my dad was from. You’ve met my mom, so you can imagine how well that went over. She left and never looked back. Fights have gone on over the decades because of it, but my parents wouldn’t let anything come between them.”

  “Well, Cohen sounds like a grade-A dick. Have you ever met him?” I asked.

  “A few times, but never like a grandson should meet his grandfather. But, none of that matters. He’s nothing for you to worry about,” Roman said, and hopefully he was right.

  I turned away from the window, needing another distraction. Finding my way to the bookshelves, I traced my fingers over the spines and inhaled. The scent of old books filled my lungs, and I sighed. Anytime I visited a library, my favorite part was finding the oldest section in the building and literally smelling the history.

  “You really like books, huh?” Roman asked.

  I nodded. “It’s been a while since I visited a library, and I don’t read as often as I used to, but books will always be fascinating to me. The words paint a picture most minds could never imagine. They keep our ancestors alive. They help people escape. They bring hope when there is none.”

  “I mostly just thought they were to help people go to sleep,” Roman said, and I jerked around intending to only glare at him. Instead, I accidentally elbowed him in the stomach and played it off as if I’d meant to.

  “Don’t disrespect books,” I said before moving down the shelves.

  There were only wolf-related books in this section. Most of the spines were titled East Pack and then a year ranging from 1803 until 2005.

  “Do you guys not update the books anymore?” I asked, seeing as it’s been more than a few years since the last one was created.

  “We do, but the files are kept electronically now. Serene is our pack historian. She’s transcribed most of these books onto computer files for us, so there isn’t ever a chance of losing the history,” Roman answered.

  “Does she know anything about my mark?” I asked, even though I’d been the one to say we shouldn’t talk about it.

  “She knows a lot, but nothing that’s been helpful so far. You’re welcome to meet her whenever you’re ready to ask any questions,” he said.

  “I’d like that.”

  After searching around the shelves for a bit longer, the tension I held from keeping Roman at a distance was getting to me. Being around him was intense like nothing I’d ever known before. The pull my body felt toward him wasn’t natural, but it was also a very real part of me that I couldn’t ignore.

  He watched me without judgment and let me do whatever I wanted, even when I knew he had plenty to say. The sense of rightness at being near him scared the hell out of me.

  “I think I’m ready to head back to the cabin now,” I said after peeking at a few of the generic wolf history books. Unfortunately, nothing had stood out to me that could be useful to my current situation.

  Roman held his arm out toward the stairs. “Then, I’ll walk you back.”

  I went down the stairs, having to watch my speed given how steep they were. When I got to the bottom, I stepped aside waiting for Roman to lead the way.

  He surprised me by placing a hand on my mid-back and guiding me out the door. I thought once we exited the house, his hold would be removed. Instead, he kept me close and stayed by my side. It was an odd yet wholesome feeling. Roman didn’t make me feel as if he was trying to put moves on me, but more so as if he was protecting me.

  Though, I hoped there was nothing around here that I needed protecting from.

  His head was constantly scanning the area as the sky darkened above us.

  “Is there something I should be worried about?” I asked as I began to look around, too.

  He shrugged. “It’s just instinct. My wolf will never let his guard down when it comes to you, no matter where we are. The need to keep you safe is as strong as the need to breathe.”

  My chest tightened, and I sucked in air as I tried not to overreact to his words. It wasn’t a line he’d forced out. He’d said them so naturally, as if I should have already known.

  Unknown emotions ignited within my stomach as the cabin came into view. Suddenly, I wasn’t ready for our night to be over, but I knew it was the right choice. It was hard for me to know if my reaction was real or something brought on by the mythical bond between us, and I needed to make sure nothing went too fast.

  Roman stopped us about twenty feet from the front door. “Thank you for spending some time with me.”

  His left hand cradled my elbow, and a warmth traveled through my body, causing me to shudder. I didn’t know what kind of magic he was packing, but it was powerful.

  “Thanks for showing me the library,” I replied.

  The silver flecks glinted in his blue eyes as he peered down at me. My eyes went to his lips, and I had the urge to kiss them until neither of us could think straight. Before I could do something I’d probably regret, Roman tugged me into a hug, and his body heat enveloped me.

  The sigh that escaped me couldn’t be stopped as I rested my head against his chest. Roman pulled back far enough to place a gentle kiss on my cheek that damn near reached the corner of my mouth before stepping several paces back.

  “I’ll see you soon, Cait,” he whispered with a grin.

  The comment stirred something inside me I tried hard to fight. It was sexy as sin, but also too self-pleasing. “Or maybe you won’t,” I replied, then spun around and stalked to the door.

  Embry was waiting, likely having watched the whole thing, and let me in. I threw myself on the couch, my chest heaving with emotions and mind whirling with questions.

  “What was all that about?” Embry asked.

  “Your guess is as good as mine,” I said, coming to the realization that fighting the attraction I had to Roman was going to be harder than I was prepared for.

  14

  Cait

  I’d spent the rest of the night trying to forget the interaction with Roman, but his touch seemed to be permanently branded into my memory. Watching a movie didn’t help. Trying to read wasn’t happening with my racing thoughts. Staring at the ceiling certainly hadn’t done a damned thing, either.

  Sexually frustrated had only been a term I’d used toward other people before, yet never really understood. Now, I did.

  While there had been irritation swirling within me from Roman’s grin, I couldn’t forget the way I felt every time he touched me or the tender kiss he’d placed on my head. Everything about him was overwhelming. Okay, maybe not just him. The entire situation was overwhelming.

  I was human, but I wasn’t. I was marked by some wolf queen, but I wasn’t a wolf. Nobody really knew what I was, and my frustration over that increased as I allowed myself to think about it more.

  Having this bond thing with Roman was just the icing on the cake I wasn’t sure I wanted.