“We could have saved you the trouble and gone in my truck.”

  “You mean that old green jalopy that blows smoke up and down the driveway?”

  “I’ll have you know I’ve owned that old jalopy for ten years.”

  “Then I think it’s time for an upgrade,” he remarked and started the engine.

  The rumble made Leah smile. “I’m not exactly in the market to buy a new car.”

  “Or a horse,” he added and looked her way as he drove away from the house.

  “Chico is worth a lot of money,” she explained. “Way more than I could ever pay for him, and I won’t take charity from my family.”

  “Pride?”

  “Absolutely,” she replied, not hearing any censure in his tone. Somehow, she suspected he understood her motives. She knew he’d taken off for California when he was young to make his own way in the world. He was a man who didn’t want to rely on others. Self-sufficient and independent. Much like herself. Perhaps that’s why they were beginning to get along—because they understood one another. “Thank you for not calling me a stubborn fool.”

  “It’s not my place to make judgments,” he remarked quietly and turned the vehicle onto the road. “Although your extended family seems to care about you a great deal.”

  “They do,” she agreed and sighed. “I think they feel sorry for me.”

  “Why would you think that?”

  “Because I’m the free spirit in the family,” she said and laughed. “You know, the one who’ll always live from week to week and waste time chasing her dreams.”

  “Creative people change the world,” he said quietly. “Imagine a world without Elvis, or Da Vinci, or Jane Austen. They were all dream-chasers at one point or another.”

  Leah’s throat tightened. “I’m terrified of failing.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  Leah let out a long breath. “I had a manager a few years back. He was an art dealer and also my boyfriend. He arranged an art showing at a gallery and no one turned up. It was humiliating. Soul destroying. It was like all my dreams, all my work, meant nothing.” She sighed heavily. “I guess I’m a coward because I haven’t had the courage to try again.”

  “Understandable,” he said. “It takes guts to get back up and go another round. In the music industry I’ve witnessed a lot of talented people give up, and some not-so-talented people make it big. Persistence is half the battle won. And it sounds like your manager was your biggest problem back then.”

  She nodded and winced. “We were dating...it made things difficult. And then I found out he was married, and it all turned to into one great disaster after that.”

  “Well, think of the right now as a clean slate. Every now and then we all need one of those.”

  “Even you?”

  He glanced sideways. “Even me.”

  “Is that why you left LA?”

  He loosely shrugged one shoulder. “I had my reasons.”

  “You know,” she said and relaxed in the seat, “friends share things—like I just did when I told you about my ex. And since we’ve established that we’re friends now, I think it’s time you came clean.”

  “No.”

  “So, you’re a hypocrite and a crappy friend.”

  He looked straight ahead, his hands tight on the steering wheel, a tiny pulse throbbing in his cheek. Leah felt tension rising between them in the small confines of the vehicle and was about to suggest he take her back when he spoke again.

  “I don’t mean to be.”

  Leah’s insides lurched. There was something achingly vulnerable about the way he said the words and she quickly backpedaled. “Sorry...sometimes I speak before I think. I don’t think you’re a hypocrite. Or a bad friend. I think you’re...”

  “What?” he asked as her words trailed off.

  “Misunderstood,” she replied. “And like me, you don’t trust easily.”

  “I should, I suppose,” he said and glanced at her. “Considering the easy ride I had growing up. You know, the rich man’s son, who never had to work hard for anything. That’s what everyone used to say about me, isn’t it?”

  “But you did,” she reminded him, leaning closer. “You left this town behind and made a very successful life in a new city. You should be really proud of that. I know your mom is.”

  “She’s biased.” But he smiled a little.

  “Maybe,” Leah replied. “She loves you. But she’s worried about you, too.”

  “I know.”

  “So, maybe you should tell her what’s bothering you. Something is. We can all see it.”

  He didn’t say anything for a moment, simply kept driving. She expected him to deny it, to say it was nothing, that she and everyone else were thinking things that were way off base. But finally, after a strained silence, he said, “I can’t.”

  “Why not, Sean?” she asked gently.

  “Because they’ll... I don’t know, smother me and I just... I don’t want that.”

  The pain and frustration in his voice was palpable. Leah sucked in a breath, imagining the worst, that he was sick...or dying. She touched his arm. “Sean, what is it?”

  He looked straight ahead, the pulse in his cheek throbbing. “Sometimes... I can’t hear you.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

  “Leah,” he said and glanced at her. “I’m going deaf.”

  Chapter Five

  Sean had no idea why he told Leah the one thing he didn’t want anyone knowing. Maybe because deep down, he actually wanted to tell someone. Anyone. And she was the person closest at hand. Or maybe it was because he suspected he wouldn’t get sympathy and platitudes and pity from her. Just more questions—which she began firing at him.

  “What are you saying?” she asked. “You have a hearing problem?”

  “Yes,” he replied flatly. “Now can we drop it?”

  “Not a chance,” she said and stared at him. “Tell me what that means.”

  Sean sighed heavily and after a few moments pulled the car off the road and onto a shoulder. He flicked off the engine and turned a little in his seat, facing her. “About a year ago I was diagnosed with something called sensorineural hearing loss. It’s irreversible and there’s no cure. So, I sold my business and moved back to Cedar River.”

  “Will you lose all your hearing?” she asked. Sean heard her carefully pronounce every word and then tensed because that was exactly what he didn’t want to happen.

  “Possibly,” he replied. “It could get to a certain point and plateau. Like, at the moment I can hear you fine because we’re sitting in this car and there’s no background noise. Sometimes I can hear a sound but not quite work out what it is—like a bird chirping. Conversations can be difficult if I’m with more than one person and everyone is talking at the same time. Crowded bars and restaurants. Stadiums. When I can control my suroundings, like when I’m watching television, I can move the volume up or down as needed. I guess I’m learning as I go along.”

  She was silent for a moment—which he liked—but he knew it meant she was cultivating more nosy questions. And he wasn’t disappointed. “Do you need a hearing aid?”

  “It’s something that needs consideration.”

  “What do you mean, consideration?” she asked. “I mean, if it helps, why not do it sooner rather than later?”

  “Because I...” He stopped, thinking that he didn’t need to explain his motives to anyone, particularly to a woman he hardly knew. “Let’s just drop it, okay.”

  Silence quickly thickened the air between them until she spoke again. Because she didn’t drop it.

  “Sean... Did you really have to give up your career?”

  “Yes,” he said quickly and then shook his head. “No. I don’t know. I was pissed off. Mad at myself and the world and all I could think was that a music producer isn’t much use if he can’t hear the music.”

  “Maybe with special equipment, you might be able to—”

  “To what?” he asked, cutting her off. “Have people feeling sorry for me? Giving me advice? Thinking I was somehow...less, or not as capable. No, thanks.”

  “Do you really believe people would think that?” she asked slowly.

  He raised a brow. “Well, look at it this way, you’ve known for all of ten seconds and you’re already over-enunciating every word you speak. So yeah, I think people might.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  “You didn’t,” he said. “And I didn’t mean to bark at you. How about we forget about it and get back to what we were doing?”

  She was unusually quiet for the remainder of the drive, and he wondered if she didn’t want to deal with the inevitable difficulty of trying to easily communicate. He expected people would get frustrated. In LA, he had a few friends who’d showed the early frustrated signs, even though they didn’t know about his diagnosis. It was sure to get worse the more his condition progressed.

  “Wow,” she said when they finally drove through the gates of the O’Sullivan ranch. Sean had to admit the place was impressive—like one of those spreads in a magazine. White fencing, green pastures, a sprawling house with a wide veranda and timber shutters. “Awesome. I mean, I’ve seen pictures...but up close it’s something else.”

  He nodded. “It was a good place to grow up.”

  “Happy?” she asked.

  “Mostly,” he replied. “Of course, back then we didn’t know about my father’s double life. Or Jonah. I guess we were happy enough. I remember how Liz and I used to hide under the veranda and spray Mom’s ankles with a water pistol.”

  She smiled. “You and Liz were close?”

  He nodded again, his chest tightening as he drove up to the house. “She was six years older than me and always getting me into trouble. But yeah, we were close.”

  “I can’t imagine how it must feel to lose a sibling,” she said and sighed. “I mean, after losing my mom, and with Dad’s recent stroke, if anything happened to David...” She visibly shuddered. “I couldn’t bear it. It’s amazing how well your whole family has coped.”

  “I’m not sure we have,” he said flatly. “The truth is, we don’t talk about it much. Kieran will, because he’s one of those people who like to talk about things. But Liam’s about as closed off as I am, and my dad’s not much better. And since I know it upsets Mom to talk about it, I don’t. So I guess we’re as screwed up as every other family. Except yours,” he added. “You and your dad and brother are tight.”

  “Yeah,” she agreed. “But we had our share of loss, just like your family.”

  Sean pulled up in the driveway and switched off the engine. “It’s amazing we both turned out so normal and well-adjusted,” he said and grinned in her direction.

  She laughed, and the sound reverberated in his chest. “Maybe that’s why my dad and your mom have become friends...you know, kindred spirits.” She was looking at him. “Like you and me.”

  “That’s right,” Sean said and opened the door. “We are going to try the friends thing.”

  “We’re off to a pretty good start I think,” she said and grabbed her tote before she got out of the car, shut the door and moved around the hood.

  “Leah,” he said, gently grabbing her hand. “You won’t say anthing, will you?”

  She frowned. “To your brother? Of course not. You told me in confidence and you have my word I won’t betray that.”

  “Thank you. And you know, when we’re this close,” he said, rubbing her fingertips with his thumb, “I can hear you just fine.”

  Color tinged her cheeks. “Okay.”

  At that moment Sean spotted Kieran striding onto the veranda. “Let’s go,” he said and released her, ushering her forward and up the steps, where they greeted his brother.

  “How’s Ivan doing?” Kieran asked as they walked into the house.

  “Better,” she replied and chuckled. “Complaining about the rehab, of course, but improving every day.”

  “He’s a tough nut, that’s for sure,” Kieran said and led them down the hall and toward the huge kitchen in the center of house.

  “I’m not sure I properly thanked you for looking after him so well when he had his stroke,” she said.

  “No thanks required,” Kieran replied. “Just doing my job.”

  Sean knew it was more than that. His brother genuinely cared for his patients and was known for his compassionate and caring bedside manner. Sometimes, Sean considered what his brother did for a living and often came out thinking his career was shallow and pointless by comparison. Then he had to remind himself about how many people he’d employed over the years and how many careers he’d help launch. How many people might have been moved by the music he’d helped create.

  So yeah, maybe he wasn’t saving lives, but in a way he was changing them.

  All in the past now though.

  “This place is amazing,” Leah said and let out a long and admiring whistle as they passed the wide staircase that led upstairs.

  “Mom moved out after the divorce,” Kieran stated and sighed. “Too many memories I suppose. She said the house needed a family in it, and she was right. The boys love living here, and Nicola has really helped me make it a home.”

  As they rounded the corner into the kitchen, Kieran’s wife, Nicola, came into view from her position behind the long countertop. “Hi there,” she said and smiled, and her gesture broadened when she recognized the woman at his side. “Hello, Leah, lovely to see you again. Hi, Sean.”

  He wasn’t sure how well acquainted Nicola and Leah were, but judging from their smiles they knew one another reasonably well.

  He offered a meager greeting just as her two nephews, Johnny and Marco, came bounding into the room. Nicola had asked if it was okay if the kids called him uncle, and he didn’t mind. They were nice boys and mostly well behaved. And his brother had taken to fatherhood like a duck to water. Understandable, he supposed, since Kieran had been married once before and had a son—well, a child he’d assumed was his son until his then wife announced that the boy had been fathered by another man. Unhappy times, for sure, but Kieran seemed to have put it all behind him and was clearly very much in love with his new family.

  “So, should we get started on this new sound system?” he suggested, and the kids cheered excitedly. Sean glanced in Leah’s direction. “Be back soon.”

  “Sure,” she said and perched herself on one of the counter stools.

  He smiled a little and left the room, following his brother into the theater room at the rear of the house, once Kieran had gotten the boys out of the way by sending them off, groaning, to clean their rooms. Their father, J.D., had designed the extravagant space several years earlier, incorporating leather recliners in front of a state-of-the-art movie and sound system. He knew the kids did most of their gaming in the room, but Kieran wanted to install a better sound system in their bedrooms.

  “So, you and Leah?” Kieran teased.

  His brother said something else he didn’t catch. “What?”

  “I said,” Kieran replied, “she’s not your usual type.”

  “She’s not my type at all. We’re only friends.”

  “Since when do you have female friends?”

  “Since now,” he said and grabbed a box filled with electronic equipment that they would be using in the bedrooms.

  “If you ask me,” Kieran said and grabbed the other box, “it’s an improvement.”

  “I’m not asking,” Sean said tersely. “And it’s not up for discussion.”

  “If you bring her here, be prepared for an inquisition. Anyway, I think it will do you good to hang out with Leah. She’s nice.”

  “I know.”

  Kieran stopped what he was doing and grinned. “You like her.”

  “What?”

  “You like her,” his brother said again. “As more than a friend.”

  “No,” he said quickly and ignored the tightness in his chest. He didn’t want Kieran getting any ideas and then sharing them with Liam and his mom or anyone else.

  “You haven’t brought a girl home since you were sixteen years old,” Kieran reminded him.

  That was true. Back then he’d been convinced that Raina Miles was the love of his life. Unfortunately, her parents had moved away at the start of senior year, and he never saw her again. On reflection, he figured that was the last time he’d been in love. Slim pickings, he realized. All the years in LA, all the women who’d shared his bed—none had ever touched his heart.

  “I think I’m too selfish to fall in love with someone.”

  Kieran stopped walking and looked at him. “Scared and selfish are two very different things.”

  Sean laughed. “I’d hate you to get straight to the point.”

  “Big brother privileges.” Kieran sighed. “The truth is, you don’t seem like yourself.”

  Sean knew his brother’s intuition served him well as a doctor—he just didn’t want that scrutiny turned on him. “I’m fine.”

  But he knew he couldn’t keep up the pretense for much longer.

  * * *

  Leah had met Nicola several times over the years. While not exactly friends, they were friendly and she liked her a lot. But she felt strangely conspicuous in the other woman’s kitchen and endured Nicola’s scrutiny for about thirty seconds before she spoke.

  “Before you ask,” Leah said and raised a brow, “your brother-in-law and I are not dating. We are just friends.”

  Nicola shrugged. “Not my business. Although it’s good to see Sean has given up being a hermit.”

  She smiled. “I don’t think the hermit thing suited him all that much.”

  Nicola laughed. “He’s a hottie, isn’t he? Undoubtedly the most attractive of the O’Sullivan males.”