It was as close to the truth as she would allow. She stuck her head in the fridge and dug out a half-empty bottle of white wine. If they were going to have this conversation, she needed alcohol. She filled two glasses and handed one to Ryder.

  “Come on.” She moved past him, her shoulder brushing his arm. Even minimal contact made her flush. She motioned to the sofa when they reached the living room. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.” She left Ryder on the couch as she ran upstairs to put on some clothes.

  Liese waffled over an outfit, settling on a pair of yoga pants and a hoodie. She didn’t want to appear sloppy, but a vibe that said “I’m not trying to impress you” seemed important.

  She resisted chugging her wine as she descended the stairs; intoxication, though alluring, would not be helpful. When she reached the living room, Ryder was lounging on her couch—looking more at home than he had any right to—and flipping through a coffee table book of erotic art: Marissa’s version of a housewarming present.

  Liese blushed, her embarrassment ironic considering that the artistic content didn’t hold a candle to the pornographic images he’d seen on her laptop. Ryder pulled at the collar of his shirt; his eyes widened. He cocked his head to the side and changed the angle of the picture. When she cleared her throat he slammed the book shut and dropped it on the floor with a loud thud. She choked back a laugh as his cheeks flamed the same shade of red as she knew hers must be.

  “Interesting reading.” He retrieved it from the floor and set it on the table, exchanging it for his wine.

  “There’s not much in the way of text in there.”

  “You know what they say about a picture speaking a thousand words.” He ran his hand down his thigh and patted the cushion next to him. “Sit with me?”

  Liese eyed the chair on the opposite side of the room. It would be much safer not to sit too close—and smarter. But as much as she didn’t want to give in, her desire to be close to him drove her toward the couch. She sat down, leaving as much space as possible and hoping he would get the message that she hadn’t forgiven him. Not yet, anyway. If they were going to take a chance on a relationship, he’d damn well better make it worth her while. She pulled her legs up, wrapped her arms around them, and leaned into the backrest.

  “I’ve done a pretty good job of botching this up.” Ryder twirled his glass between his fingers, watching the liquid swirl.

  “That’s a rhetorical statement, right?”

  He closed his eyes and let his head drop back, exhaling heavily. “I never should have hired you in the first place.”

  “Are you serious?” Liese sat forward, her foot hitting his leg, startling him.

  His wine spilled into his lap, and he swore quietly, looking around the room for something to mop up the mess. Resisting the urge to help, she pointed to the Kleenex on the side table, trying not to look at his crotch. He dabbed at the spot with a tissue, which didn’t help his cause much. After a moment he looked at his soaked lap, the outline of his equipment glaringly obvious as his pants stuck to his skin. Thankfully he untucked his shirt to hide the problem from view, allowing her to concentrate on the real issue.

  “If this is your idea of an apology, you can shove it.”

  “I didn’t mean that the way it came out. I’m not explaining myself very well.” Ryder set his wine glass on the table and propped his elbows on his knees, leaning toward her.

  “Understatement of the decade.” Liese retreated further into the safety of the cushions. She had the juvenile inclination to use the throw pillows as a barricade. “You have one minute to stop wasting my time and explain what you mean.”

  “You’re amazing at your job, and you’ve done wonderful things for our student resources department from the day you started at FAHL,” he said.

  Liese nodded. This she knew.

  “What I should’ve said is that I’ve been dangerously attracted to you from the beginning. I enlisted Harvey to make the final decision on hiring you because I didn’t think I could be impartial enough. On paper you were extraordinary, and in person you were . . . more than I could have hoped for. I spent the majority of our interview trying to get my erection and my imagination under control.”

  Liese had been in the middle of a sip of wine, which she now sprayed all over him. “I don’t even know what to say.”

  Ryder casually wiped his face, pretending she hadn’t just showered him with alcohol. At least the wine was white. “I know it’s disturbing. I probably shouldn’t have told you that.”

  “Not disturbing . . . well, maybe. Unexpected might be a good way to put it.”

  “You remember when you came in to sign the paperwork?”

  “What about it?”

  “Why do you think I never came out from behind my desk?” Ryder’s face flushed as though he was reliving the event. Liese remembered too. He’d been dressed casually in a school-issued golf shirt and dark pants, the latter of which she had only seen when he ushered her into his office. Even then she’d scoped out his behind—and his arms. He had nice arms, all long, lean muscle.

  “Oh.” Her eyes widened as she connected the dots.

  “I’ve never had an issue like that before. Well, maybe when I was a teenager, but going over a speed bump would’ve given me a hard-on back then.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “What I’m trying to tell you, and making a fool of myself in the process, is that the attraction for me was instant. Intellectually, you were my ideal, but when I met you, you exceeded my expectations in every way possible. Hiring you was a bad move on my part because I already found you so enticing.”

  “So why hire me, then? Why put us both at risk if you knew I was going to be a problem for you?” Liese couldn’t decide if she should be flattered or unsettled. That he’d suffered as long as she had made her feel a little better.

  “I tried to convince myself I could remain professional, and at first I did. That is until you asked me to be your advisor, and then I screwed myself.”

  “And me.”

  “Believe me, I tried not to give in. If I’d said no to being your advisor, maybe things could have stayed collegial between us. But spending all that time with you—” Ryder’s guilt was evident in his tone. “I devised ways to make our meetings last longer than necessary. It was wrong of me to indulge my infatuation. I thought it would remain one-sided, that you wouldn’t feel the same way for me. I was sure the age difference would be enough of a barrier.”

  “Age difference? You’re hardly old.”

  “I’ve got a decade on you, and as you’ve probably noticed, I can be somewhat of a domineering asshole at times. I thought that would be a deterrent as well.”

  “Apparently I like domineering, asshole-ish older men.”

  “Lucky for me.”

  Liese narrowed her eyes, and he had the decency to look somewhat remorseful.

  “Then I saw those pictures and, Christ, I’d been so close to the breaking point so many times already. It was . . . challenging to be near you and not give in to the compulsion to do something about the way I felt. I couldn’t have stopped myself at that point if I tried.”

  “If you felt that strongly, why were you so cold the morning after?” Liese asked. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. “I was humiliated.”

  “It wasn’t my intention to ignore you after you spent the night at my place.”

  “You mean the night you spanked and fucked me?” Liese took another gulp of wine, the crassness of her comment appalling even her.

  His eyebrows climbed his forehead. “Are you telling me you didn’t want that? Because I certainly didn’t hear you complaining.”

  “There was nothing to complain about until you acted like a giant douchebag the next morning.”

  His shoulders curved forward, reminding her of the painting in his house, the one where the subject looked so forlorn and innocent. “I haven’t handled this situation well. I didn’t want to pretend nothing happened, but I wasn’t sure what your expectations would be. I had no idea how to manage the way I felt, and talking about it . . .” He paused, pensive. “I’m sorry we didn’t discuss it that morning. I’d planned to before I left, but I got sidetracked, and we ran out of time.”

  Liese remembered just what “sidetracked” had looked and felt like. “That sounds awfully close to a cop-out to me.”

  “I don’t mean for it to be. I had no intention of making you feel like you were just some fling,” he said.

  “The note you left didn’t help.”

  Ryder leaned in, but she recoiled and tucked her feet between the couch cushions. He withdrew. “I never wanted to hurt you, or make you think I have anything but the highest regard for you. It took until the evening at the bar for me to realize what an insensitive, self-absorbed jerk I’ve been.”

  Liese felt her cheeks color with embarrassment. With deliberate slowness, he reached out and skimmed the top of her hand with his fingertips.

  “I want to try to make it better. Unless, of course, you’re no longer interested . . .”

  She picked at a loose thread on her cuff. She yearned to take him up on his offer to fix things, now that it definitely seemed like he wanted to, but fear of being hurt by him made her cautious. “I don’t know, Ryder.”

  “Is it because of Stone?”

  She hesitated longer than necessary just to see him squirm. “We’ve been over this. What is it going to take for you to believe me when I tell you it’s not like that with him?”

  “My history with him makes it difficult.” Ryder shifted closer. “I’m not sure if you’re aware—”

  “That you went to high school together? I found that out on Friday.”

  “Ah. I see.” He picked at his untucked shirt. “So Stone’s informed you about our previous interactions?”

  “You mean when you punched him out?”

  “He wasn’t the only one to incur damage.” Ryder’s tongue touched the scar on his lip. “Did he also make you aware of the reason behind the violence?”

  “He might have mentioned you had a crush on the same girl.”

  Ryder’s expression hardened. “It wasn’t a crush. She and I had been dating for several months. I’d been under the impression we were exclusive.”

  “I didn’t realize—”

  Ryder waved her off, as if the whole thing were inconsequential. “It’s irrelevant now. But I can’t tell you how paranoid I’ve been, thinking I pushed you right into the mouth of the lion. The way he’s always touching you, always around you . . . I wondered if I’d taken things too far, especially with the spanking—” He chuckled darkly, but there was no humor when he spoke. “Of course, I know I’ve already gone too far. This is probably the last place I should be, but I can’t pretend this thing between us doesn’t exist.”

  “Well, that would be difficult since we work in the same building.” Precisely the reason she’d thought it best not to pursue this with him.

  “You’d be surprised at how little I see some of the staff. I could avoid you entirely if I wanted to.”

  “But you don’t want to do that?”

  “Definitely not. As aware as I am of the peril of this relationship, I want you, unquestionably.” Ryder edged closer until his knee touched her leg.

  His affirmation of the danger reinforced her worries, as did the way her colleagues continued to gossip about the demise of the teacher who’d been with a principal. She didn’t want to tarnish her reputation or run the risk of not being able to secure another position if things went horribly wrong. And based on her relationship history, the possibility wasn’t all that outlandish.

  “What if it doesn’t work?”

  “What if it does?”

  Liese met his pleading gaze. He looked as vulnerable as she felt. It might be the worst decision she’d ever made in her life, but she couldn’t ignore how well they seemed to fit together, both in and out of bed.

  “We’ll have to be very careful, won’t we?”

  “Extraordinarily.”

  “I’ll need a new advisor, won’t I?”

  “That would probably be for the best.” Ryder’s fingers trailed gently along the contour of her cheek down to her chin. He leaned in, lips hovering close, but paused just short of contact. “Is that a yes?”

  “Yes. It’s a yes.”

  “I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am to hear you say that.” Ryder smiled against her lips.

  “You can be very compelling when you want to be.” Liese put her palm on his chest.

  He put his hand over hers, twining their fingers together. “I’m rather lucky I can talk my way out of my own idiocy, and even more fortunate you’re so understanding.”

  “I am very understanding, aren’t I?” Liese agreed.

  “Very.” Ryder raised her hand and placed a soft kiss there, his lips warm even against her heated skin.

  “It wouldn’t do you any harm to express your gratitude for my unparalleled understanding,” she added.

  Ryder prowled over her, covering her body with his. Nudging her thighs apart, he settled between them and cradled the back of her head in his hand.

  “How does this feel to you?” He nipped at her bottom lip, the sensual swivel of his hips bringing his erection flush against her.

  Liese sighed, tilting her hips up to add to the friction she needed. She wanted to punish him for having been so imperceptive, but her own need took charge. He moved against her, a slow, stroking rhythm that took her higher, but not high enough.

  “Ryder,” she groaned, arching into him. She should make him wait a little longer before she invited him to her bed—like five minutes, give or take a minute or two.

  He shifted, robbing her of his delicious weight. Gentle fingertips traced her thigh to the waistband of her pants. He slipped his hand beneath the fabric, passing over bare skin to dip lower. Liese followed with her own hand, covering his as though he might stop. The notion was ridiculous, because his actions told her he had no intention of doing any such thing.

  Warm, strong fingers slid inside her, bringing her to the edge over and over again until she was writhing, begging for the release she craved. The press of his thumb and the curl of his fingers, combined with dirty promises of future orgasms, sent her headlong into the abyss of pleasure.

  When she surfaced, Ryder smiled down at her. “Have I sufficiently expressed my gratitude?”

  “It’s a start.” Liese ran her hand down his chest, but he caught it before she could get past his belt buckle.

  “That’s not necessary.” He sat up, pulling her with him.

  Her eyes went to his pants, where his erection strained against the wine-dampened fabric. “It looks pretty necessary to me.” She tried to extricate her hand from his grasp, but he held on tighter. Instead of fighting his hold, Liese maneuvered her body to straddle him. He groaned at the contact, and his head fell back against the cushions.

  He released her wrist, his hands moving to her hips to keep her still. “Really,” he rasped, “I’d rather you didn’t do that.”

  “I think your cock begs to differ.”

  He let loose an expletive as he lifted his head, his lids heavy. His fingers dug into her hips—not painfully, but with enough pressure that Liese knew his control was tenuous. Why he held back she had no idea, but curiosity made her compliant.

  “I’m sure it does.” He cleared his throat. “However, before I can in good conscience permit my cock the exquisite pleasure of your touch.” He paused to breathe. “I would like to take you on a date.”

  “A date?”

  “Mm-hmm, a date,” Ryder repeated.

  “Uh, not that I don’t want to go on a date with you, because it sounds really nice, but don’t you think that’s going to be difficult to pull off considering how small Fullerton is? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a covert dating operation?”

  “Fortunately, I have a car.”

  “Right. Good point.”

  “Will you let me take you out?” Ryder looked so hopeful Liese didn’t have the heart to say no, even though she worried.

  “When?”

  “How about tomorrow?”

  “I can’t. We have rehearsal for the play after school. It usually runs late.” Liese grimaced. Blake again.

  Surprisingly, Ryder didn’t say anything derogatory. “Wednesday I have a meeting. What about Thursday?”

  “I’m free then.”

  “Perfect. I can pick you up just after six?”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay.” Ryder grinned and patted her bottom. “I should go.”

  “What? Why?” Liese wrapped her arms around his neck as he stood. She tried to do the same with her legs, but they were still rubbery post-orgasm and wouldn’t comply. Instead they slid down the outside of his thighs until her feet touched the floor. “It’s not even that late. You could stay a little longer.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Ryder clenched his teeth as she rubbed shamelessly against his erection. “You see, if I do, I run the risk of taking you against the closest surface, and that just happens to be the coffee table.”

  “That sounds fun.”

  Ryder wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly to him. “My fear is that in my current state I won’t be able to control myself.” Ryder kissed her neck, his fingers trailing a slow line down her spine. “And the possibility that I might inadvertently break your lovely table as I fuck you until you see stars doesn’t sit well with me.”

  Despite her telling him how much she loved stars and wouldn’t miss her coffee table, if it happened to break, he remained resolute. Liese remained a bit baffled. It seemed pointless to wait when clearly they both wanted the same thing.

  To make matters worse, Ryder’s stupid conscience kicked in, and he instituted a clause stipulating no post-date sleepover for Thursday. He said he intended to prove he was serious about wanting more from her than just spankings and sex. Liese smiled, and at first she thought she’d found a loophole: there were a million locations on which to fornicate that didn’t involve a bed. But then he clarified that he meant no getting naked in any way. No naked, no sex. Not on this next date.