Maxim was the most amazing man I’d ever met, and I’d wanted nothing more than to kiss him and hug him and spend day after day with him. Instead, I’d told him that we should leave things as they were. He’d even given me another chance when we were saying goodbye. It would have been so easy to just slip him my phone number. At least then, there’d be a semblance of a chance that I’d see him again.

  I tried to put on a brave face for Ryan’s sake. I could tell how badly he was hurting. Though he was naïve to a large part of our reality, he’d surely had no trouble differentiating from our life the past few days and our life at home. He’d never have gone skiing back home, or taken a private lake cruise, or had an arcade all to himself. After a weekend like this, it’d be a tough transition back to normalcy.

  Our boarding call came as a welcomed interruption to my overthinking, and we walked over to join the line.

  “Mom, do you think we’ll ever come back to Switzerland?” Ryan asked.

  “I don’t know, sweetie,” I said. “Maybe someday.” I didn’t want to disappoint him, but I also didn’t want to get his hopes up, given the sad reality that we’d likely never have the funds to take a vacation like this again.

  As I handed the ticketing agent my boarding pass, I took one last look out the window. I was going to miss this beautiful city.

  Our seats were in the second-to-last row of the plane, a perfect metaphor for our lives. While Maxim and Lucie were first class, we were coach. This was our first step back toward our lives in West Virginia.

  With Ryan distracted by his video games, I put in my headphones in an effort to escape my thoughts with some music. What I really wanted was a nice, long cry, complete with sad love songs about broken hearts. I wanted to hear lyrics that validated my feelings about Maxim and my feelings about leaving him behind.

  But I had to be strong in front of Ryan. For his sake, I had to focus on the positive memories of the trip. He was ecstatic at the thought of printing out pictures from our trip to show his classmates. I could picture him now, talking about the private ship we’d taken out, and showing the pictures he’d taken on the train ride that first day.

  I wondered if, given the chance to do the trip over, I would’ve handled everything the same way. Of course, I would have ended things more smoothly with Maxim, but would I have spent so much time with him? Would I have let that first night together be our last? Would I have gotten the kids involved?

  I also couldn’t help but wonder if I had missed out on bonding time with Ryan. Sure, we’d spent plenty of time together, but most of it had been with Maxim and Lucie. That had seemed fine at the time, but maybe Ryan would grow to resent me for it. The thoughts circled my mind, overwhelming me with guilt. Whatever could have been, it was too late. We were headed home, and I had to accept that.

  “Hey, Mom?” Ryan said, tugging one of my headphones out of my ear.

  “What’s up, Ry?”

  Ryan put his arm around my shoulder as best he could in the seat. “Thank you for the best trip ever. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, kiddo,” I said. “Don’t forget. It’s you and me together forever.”

  Ryan’s few words put my mind at ease enough for me to stop worrying, at least for a little while.

  The flight attendant made an announcement that the cabin doors were now closed, reinforcing the fact that our trip was over and that I’d likely never again see the handsome, incredible man I’d spent the weekend quietly falling for.

  With Ryan by my side, I squeezed my eyes shut, hopeful for sleep.

  Chapter 17

  Tia

  A Week Later

  Ryan sat at the kitchen table doing homework, his eyes intently focused on the math problem in front of him. Finally settled back into our routine after a week of jet lag, this was one of my favorite parts of the day, the limited time I got to spend with my son.

  While Ryan’s day was winding down, mine was just starting. It was an odd setup, but it was what paid the bills. Working longer shifts to make up for missed work had me completely exhausted.

  Sipping on my coffee, I stirred the meat sauce on the stove and added a pinch of oregano to the pot, my mind wandering to Ryan’s upcoming school field trip.

  He’d come home begging me to be a chaperone on their trip and, despite not knowing where the field trip was to, I’d immediately said yes. I was just happy that Ryan was still at an age when he wasn’t completely embarrassed to be seen with me. I had to cherish these moments while they lasted.

  Despite my excitement over the field trip, something had felt off these past few days. Our routine had stayed the same as it had been since I’d started driving on the night shift—get Ryan ready for school, go to sleep, make Ryan’s after-school snack, help with homework, cook dinner, go to work—but I was no longer as content as I had been.

  Maybe that was because I hadn’t known what I was missing. In the days since we’d been back, I’d spent countless hours thinking about Maxim, and the beautiful views, and the fabulous resort we’d left behind.

  My phone rang, and I motioned to Ryan to see who it was.

  “Aunt Jenny’s calling!” Ryan announced, as if it was someone famous or royal instead of my friend. He rushed the phone over to me, and I shifted the wooden spoon to my other hand so I could grab it.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey! I got your message,” Jenny said. “Sorry it took so long to call you back. Things have been really hectic over here.”

  “Don’t sweat it,” I said. “I just thought you might like a little update about Switzerland.”

  “A little update?” she said. “I want a huge, extensive update!”

  I laughed. Just in case we ended up discussing things I didn’t want Ryan to hear, I turned the heat on the stove to low and walked into the other room.

  “Jenny, I can’t thank you enough. Truly. We had an amazing weekend. It was the trip of a lifetime.”

  “Tell me everything,” Jenny replied.

  Her voice was chipper, but I couldn’t bring myself to match her excitement. This had to have been one of the longest, most exhausting weeks of my life.

  “It was incredible,” I said. “I don’t even know where to start. The resort was fabulous. Ryan loved the pool and the skiing, and the restaurant was amazing. It was everything you said and more.”

  “I’m so glad you guys were able to go. My firm got the deal we were working toward, so it worked out for everyone!”

  Jenny sounded sincere, which was a relief to me. A small part of me wondered if, after she’d given up the trip, she’d regretted it at all, but it was clear that she was content with her choice.

  “That’s awesome!” I said.

  “What else did you guys do there?”

  My mind shot to Maxim, but that wasn’t a saga worth bringing up. Instead, I went with a vaguer response. “We met some really nice people. Ryan made some friends at the kids’ club, and we went into the city for the day and did some sightseeing.”

  “Some friends, huh?”

  Ah. There was the Jenny I knew.

  “Yup,” I replied. “Just some people we met at the resort. Ryan had the best time. He still won’t stop talking about the trip.”

  “Whoa, whoa. Back up to the friends. You’re deflecting, aren’t you?”

  I hesitated. “What does that even mean?”

  “You totally met someone there.”

  “Jenny!”

  “Are you saying I’m wrong?” Jenny pushed.

  “I’m saying I don’t really want to talk about it.”

  “Come on!”

  I sighed. “Fine. But I’ll preface it by telling you that there’s no happily ever after to this story.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I pretended to be someone I wasn’t.”

  “Okay…” Jenny said hesitantly. “I’m going to need more to go on.”

  “I met this incredible guy, completely by accident. I couldn’t get a table at the hotel restaurant and he could, so we had dinner together. Then he told me he’s a billionaire, and I freaked out. I lied and told him I was a PR executive like you, and he took it to mean that I was some rich, hotshot PR mogul.”

  “Wait. Back up. Did you just say ‘billionaire?’”

  “He’s CEO of a bank.”

  Jenny squealed. “Oh my God. That’s insane!”

  “That’s the understatement of the century,” I said.

  “Did you just have dinner the one time?” Jenny asked.

  “Not quite.” I paused, trying to figure out how to sum up a few days in a few sentences. “He taught me to ski, and his daughter and Ryan became best friends, and the four of us spent the day in Geneva together, and we spent the last night of the trip at his private cabin.”

  “Tia! Oh, my gosh. You landed yourself a billionaire!”

  “It’s not like that, Jenny. I pretty much told him that I didn’t want to stay in touch, and I pushed him away when he tried to kiss me.”

  “Why on earth would you do that?” she half-shouted through the phone.

  “Because I’m not some fancy PR exec. I’m a taxi driver, and he’s a rich, handsome businessman who lives halfway across the world. It would never work.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Well, it’s too late now.”

  “How do you feel about it?”

  “You want my honest answer?” I asked.

  “If you’re willing to give it.”

  “I’m heartbroken.” I tried to choke back the tears I felt forming. “He was incredible. I was able to talk to him like I’ve never talked to anyone before. He’s a single parent, too, and we bonded over that. Not only that, but he’s pretty much the perfect man. He’s incredibly good-looking, and charming, and kind. I’d expected him to be a pompous jerk when I met him, but he’s the opposite.”

  “Oh, Tia,” Jenny said softly.

  “Seeing Ryan and his daughter play together, it felt like maybe pieces of a puzzle had finally found each other,” I went on. “The sad thing is, I think that maybe he would’ve accepted me if I’d just told him the truth from the start. But I figured it was better to leave the lies over in Switzerland and cut off contact. I miss him, Jenny. I can’t stop thinking about him.”

  “I’m sorry, T,” Jenny said softly. “I wish there was something I could do. Just remember, it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Isn’t that how the saying goes?”

  “I’m not sure I believe that.”

  I knew Jenny was just trying to make me feel better, but the thought of having lost Maxim only made me feel worse. I reminded myself that, even though Jenny was my friend and I could talk to her about this stuff, she was also the one who’d gifted me this incredible trip, and I didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

  “Regardless,” I went on, rallying, “it was the absolute best vacation we could have ever hoped for.”

  “I’m glad. And who knows? Maybe you and this guy will cross paths again.”

  “I doubt it,” I replied. “But that’s okay. I just want you to know how incredibly grateful I am. Ryan would have never gotten to experience a magical trip like that if it hadn’t been for you.”

  “It couldn’t have gone to a more deserving family. Look, I have to go pick Bradley up from school, so I’ve got to run. Keep in touch. And remember that love comes knocking when you least expect it, so don’t give up hope.”

  “Thanks. Talk to you soon.”

  I hung up the phone, unsure of whether speaking my feelings aloud had made me feel better or worse.

  The words Jenny had said about loving and losing stayed in my mind, but only because they seemed too oversimplified. For starters, I wasn’t sure I could really have fallen in love with someone after spending just a few days with them. On top of that, was it really better to have that constant ache in my chest, just to have had those few days with him?

  I wondered if I would have been better off if I’d never met Maxim, but I knew deep down that I wouldn’t have been. Our trip to Switzerland had been amazing, but Maxim and Lucie were a huge part of what had made it so incredible. I would just have to live with my unanswered questions, my what-ifs.

  Someday, once the feeling of heartbreak and loss was gone, I’d be able to talk about the vacation fondly, looking back at my whirlwind romance with a smile.

  Chapter 18

  Maxim

  Twenty-six days had passed since we’d dropped Tia and Ryan off at the airport, but it felt like a lifetime.

  It was unreal to me how connected I’d felt to someone I’d known for less than a week. We had been so in sync, with the same struggles and same desires, that it still felt like a knife in the chest when I thought about how Tia had turned me down that last night.

  I’d resigned to telling myself that she had rejected me to make it easier for her to leave me. To be honest, I didn’t blame her. It still amazed me how well Lucie and Ryan had hit it off. It had almost felt as, dare I say it, the four of us were meant to be together.

  As hard as I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling that we’d given up on something that could have been great. The smallest things reminded me of Tia. Tonight’s dinner was pasta carbonara, one of my chef’s all-time greats, and, the second it hit the table, I thought about how Tia had picked out the peas from her dinner that first night we dined together.

  “Daddy, stop moping,” Lucie said as she chomped on a piece of garlic bread.

  With a new effort to spend more time with Lucie, I’d arranged with her school for her to come home every other weekend. If nothing else, at least Tia had given me the push to do that.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I know you miss Tia.” She waited for me to acknowledge this as fact, so I offered up a slight nod. “Why don’t you go see her?”

  “Sweetheart, it’s not that simple.”

  “But it is,” she replied. “Do you like her? Do you want to see her?”

  “Of course I do. But she lives thousands of miles away.”

  Lucie rolled her eyes and put down her bread. “Dad, I may be nine, but I know that you have enough money to buy a plane ticket.”

  That was enough to make me chuckle. “Fair enough,” I said. “But I don’t think Tia would want to see me. Besides, I don’t even know where she lives. And West Virginia is a big state.”

  “I can get her address if you’d like.”

  I tried to gauge if she was being serious. “What do you mean?”

  “Ryan and I email sometimes,” Lucie explained. “Maybe you can surprise Tia. If you don’t want to visit her, I can get her phone number so you can at least call her.”

  “I don’t want to call her,” I said. “If I’m going to do this, I’m going to do this right.”

  Lucie jumped from her chair and cheered. “I have to go email Ryan!”

  The idea sounded completely crazy, but that was why it just might work. I’d worked in business long enough to know that face-to-face was the best type of meeting. Emails were impersonal, and phone calls left time for awkward pauses and no way of seeing the other person’s facial expressions. Our next conversation demanded more than that. I had to see Tia in person.

  Within an hour, I had an address from Ryan and a plane ticket booked for later that night. As I was throwing some clothes into a small travel bag, I was struck by a realization that stopped me in my tracks.

  “Lucie!”

  Lucie emerged in my doorway. “What?”

  “Sweetheart, I can’t go,” I said. “You traveled back home this weekend to see me. It would be cruel of me to just leave you with the nanny.”

  “Yes, you can,” she replied. “I’ll be fine. I only have one more day before I have to go back to school. Besides, I’m the one who told you to go, remember?”

  A wave of relief rushed over me. “If this trip goes well, maybe next time I can take you to see Ryan.”

  “I’ll hold you to that.” Lucie skipped into the room and planted a kiss on my cheek.

  I knew I was getting ahead of myself, but I couldn’t help it. This was really happening.

  Because I’d booked my flight so last minute, there weren’t any first-class tickets available, no matter how much I offered to pay. My assistant suggested to wait until the morning, but I was too impatient. It simply made more logistical sense to go now. Tia worked during business hours, so I had to catch her at night.

  A plane ride was a regular occurrence for me, but this was different, and not just because my seat was practically one-third of the size of the seats I was used to. I didn’t have the confidence I usually had. When flying for work, I was fine, because I knew that I was good at what I did. Right now, I didn’t know what was waiting for me on the other side.

  I sent Lucie a text message when I got on the airplane, and she sent me a message back wishing me good luck. I wasn’t sure whether it was charming or pathetic that I had been pushed into going on this trip by my young daughter. Regardless, I was here, and I was less than half a day away from seeing the woman I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about for weeks.

  Two movies into my flight, I realized I wasn’t paying attention to the story that was playing out on screen. My mind was consumed with confused, conflicting ideas about what I would say to Tia when I saw her again.

  I missed your perfect smile.

  Long-distance relationships can work.

  Lucie really misses Ryan and we should arrange a meet-up.

  The weekend we spent together was the best weekend I’d had for as long as I can remember.

  I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.

  I hoped she wouldn’t think I was coming on to strong. Gazing down at the deep blue ocean below, I realized that I wasn’t exactly sure what I was hoping to get out of this trip. Was I looking for a relationship? For a grand declaration? For confirmation that she hadn’t really wanted to reject me that last night? Maybe it was a combination of the three. Mostly, I just wanted to be in Tia’s presence again.