Only a trillion, p.19
Only a Trillion,
p.19
‘It must have happened before,’ said Finley. ‘The legends of such Geese must have started somehow.’
‘Do you want to wait?’ asked Billings.
If we had a gaggle of such Geese, we could begin taking a few apart. We could study its ovaries. We could prepare tissue slices and tissue homogenates.
That might not do any good. The tissue of a liver biopsy did not react with oxygen-18 under any conditions we tried.
But then we might perfuse an intact liver. We might study intact embryos, watch for one to develop the mechanism.
But with only one Goose, we could do none of that.
We don’t dare kill The Goose That Lays The Golden Eggs.
The secret was in the liver of that fat Goose.
Liver of fat goose! Paté de foie gras! No delicacy to us!
Nevis said, thoughtfully, ‘We need an idea. Some radical departure. Some crucial thought.’
‘Saying it won’t bring it,’ said Billings despondently.
And in a miserable attempt at a joke, I said, ‘We could advertise in the newspapers,’ and that gave me an idea.
‘Science-fiction!’ I said.
‘What?’ said Finley.
‘Look, science-fiction magazines print gag articles. The readers consider it fun. They’re interested.’ I told them about the thiotimoline articles Asimov wrote and which I had once read.
The atmosphere was cold with disapproval.
‘We won’t even be breaking security regulations,’ I said, ‘because no one will believe it.’ I told them about the time in 1944 when Cleve Cartmill wrote a story describing the atom bomb one year early and the F.B.I. kept its temper.
They just stared at me.
‘And science-fiction readers have ideas. Don’t underrate them. Even if they think it’s a gag article, they’ll send their notions in to the editor. And since we have no ideas of our own; since we’re up a dead-end street, what can we lose?’
They still didn’t buy it.
So I said, ‘And you know—The Goose won’t live forever.’
That did it, somehow.
We had to convince Washington; then I got in touch with John Campbell, the science-fiction editor, and he got in touch with Asimov.
Now the article is done. I’ve read it, I approve, and I urge you all not to believe it. Please don’t.
Only——
Any ideas?
NOTE
This article is fair. There is indeed a solution to the problem presented and, as a matter of fact, since this first appeared in print in 1956, numbers of readers (mostly eager young men in their early teenage years) have written to propose the correct solution. I’m not sure that, at this stage of the game, I welcome additional letters on the subject, but if you simply can’t contain yourself, well——
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{1} That is, according to American and French usage. In England, a billion is 1012 and a trillion is 1018, that is, zeros are counted in groups of six, not in groups of three as in America and France. The American custom will be followed in this book, when a billion will mean 109 and a trillion 1012.
{2} P. Krum and L. Eshkin, Journal of Chemical Solubilities, 27, 109-114 (1944), ‘Concerning the Anomalous Solubility of Thiotimoline.’
{3} E. J. Feinschreiber and Y. Hravlek, Journal of Chemical Solubilities, 22, 57-68 (1939), ‘Solubility Speeds and Hydrophilic Groupings.’
{4} P. Krum, L. Eshkin, and O. Nile, Annals of Synthetic Chemistry, 115, 1122-1145; 1208-1215 (1945), ‘Structure of Thiotimoline, Parts I & II.’
{5} G. H. Freudler, Journal of Psycho-chemistry, 2, 476-488 (1945), ‘Initiative and Determination: Are They Influenced by Diet?—As tested by Thiotimoline solubility Experiments.’
{6} E. Harley-Short, Philosophical Proceedings & Reviews, 15, 125-197 (1946). ‘Determinism and Free-Will. The Application of Thiotimoline Solubility to Marxian Dialectic.’
{7} P. Krum, Journal of Chemical Solubilities, 29, 818-719 (1946), ‘A Device for the Quantitative Measurement of Thiotimoline Solubility Speed.’
{8} A. Roundin, B. Lev, and Y. J. Prutt, Proceedings of the Society of Plant Chemistry, 80, 11-18 (1930), ‘Natural Products isolated from shrubs of the genus Rosacea.’
{9} I. Asimov, The Endochronic Properties of Resublimated Thiotimoline. Journal of Astounding Science Fiction, 50 (1), 120-125, (1948).
{10} H. A. Barosjek, and C. Z. Libnicz, The Endochronic Properties of Methyl thiotimoline, Ethylthiotimoline and Isobutylthiotimoline. Acta Scandinavica Micropsychiatrica I, 273-281, (1950).
{11} T. Lumbegger, and A. E. Hophni, A New Device for the Purification of Thiotimoline Based on the Principles of Endochronicity. Analytical Psychochemistry 15. 1-7, (1951).
{12} T. Lumbegger, and A. E. Hophni, The Theoretical Basis of Endochronic Behavior as Indicated by Solution Phenomena. Annals of Psychocolloid Behavior 123, 403-406, (1951).
{13} O. W. Stannich, The Paradoxes of Thiotimoline. Zeitschrift für mathematische Psychiatromessungen, 101, 11291176, (1948).
{14} O. O. McLevinson, Differences in Mental Attitude, as Measured by Thiotimoline Studies, of Walks with Members of One’s Own and the Opposite Sex. New light on a puzzling problem. Proceedings of the Society for the Entertainment of Servicemen 16, 22-31, (1957).
{15} T. Lumbegger, The Anomalous Behavior of Thiotimoline Under the Influence of a Particular Subject. A preliminary note. Annals of Mental Biology, 66, 123, (1950).
{16} A. E. Windischgraets, Possible Correlations Between Patient Characteristics and the Micropsychiatric Values Revealed by Endochronometroscopic Measurements. Proceedings of the Royal Society for Biophilosophical Research (London), Series B 128, 92-109, (1952).
Isaac Asimov, Only a Trillion
