The following weekend, she was out covering the High School Band fundraiser. The band director, Leo Bryant, was a young man in his late twenties, who was continually putting the high school band on the local as well as national map. He was in his second year at the high school and the band was already nationally placed. This summer he made headlines when the band played the opening of the first-ever department store in Brightwood.

  Apparently his idea this Christmas was to create a jazzy ensemble out of the band kids and have them play Christmas carols while patrons shopped at the new department store. It was genius. Once again, Erica wanted to ask the less obvious question: “Why?” Why would you, Leo Bryant, an innovative young musician, come to teach, of all things, in little Brightwood? Brightwood. A village so small it isn’t even a rest stop on the road to anywhere. Why?

  Carols greeted her when she walked through the large double doors of the department store. There set off to one side were five band kids with Leo Bryant dressed like a gig for Blues Alley in the middle of them. They were sitting on folding metal chairs with music stands in front of those who wanted them. Smiles greeted them as people rushed by with full shopping carts and baskets. Her heart lightened for the first time since she’d left Jack’s. It was delightful. She waited for a break to introduce herself. Leo instructed the band to play “Jingle Bells” and stepped away to answer her questions.

  “This is a great idea. What made you think of it?”

  “Thanks.” He kept his right hand in motion for the band, looking over at them periodically to keep them in time. “Old movies. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Christmas movie that didn’t have a band playing on the street or somewhere.”

  Erica smiled at him. “It’s awesome that you noticed that.”

  He smiled back. “Thanks. It's also good for the musicians to play in front of people. And these,” he waved around the room, "are their people." He was a nice looking man when he smiled. If he wasn’t so young . . . . She felt herself flame with embarrassment.

  “Tell me what you are fundraising for.”

  Erica took notes while he told her about the cost of the yearly band trip. Any child who participated in the fundraiser would receive a portion of the proceeds to offset the cost of the trip.

  That was it. The interview was over. She thanked him for his time. Leo turned to go back to his students, but she couldn’t help herself.

  “Just one more question.” He stopped and turned back toward her, “Off the record, if you don’t mind.”

  “Sure.”

  “Why? Why do you teach music in Brightwood?”

  He looked a little surprised and turned fully toward her. “Because kids matter. I grew up in a small town, went to school in a large city. It’s these kids out here that are the back bone. They deserve the best.”

  “And you are the best?” She smiled at him. Was she flirting?

  “Maybe not THE best, but I’m damn good. And they deserve it.”

  This guy was not a boy. He probably never wondered about the fat content of his food. He was a man. And a nice looking man at that.

  She offered her hand, and he took it, smilng into her eyes.

  “Thanks for your time,” she said.

  “Thanks for coming.” He smiled at her again. She felt a small bubble of guilt at her reaction to him.

  Just inside the department store was a small sub shop. Erica walked over bought a half a sandwich and sat at a bistro table to hear more of the band and watch its director.

  “Well Praise God! Look who it is.” Her spirits lifted when she saw Pastor Ben standing there with his tray, sparkling with joy. “Hello, young lady.”

  “I’m glad to see you,” she said when he had settled himself up on the high chair. He began to unwrap his sandwich and without looking up said, “He’s doing fine.”

  Her lifted spirits got nervous.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You can’t stand in the river of life and not pick up a few splashes of knowledge as you walk along. I don’t have time to hunt around the bushes.”

  “I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”

  “I think you do. You know what I always tell my church? If you have a problem with me that’s fine. Some of them do. Amen?”

  She nodded with a smile.

  “If you have a problem with me, then tell me.” He pointed to himself. “If you have a problem with someone to take it directly to them. It’s the only way.”

  “I did that.”

  “I know you did, and he was wrong about that.” He opened his bag of chips and dumped them out on the sandwich paper.

  “He talked to you.”

  “He often does.” He munched a chip. “It’s pride. I told him that, and I’m telling you. I have something else for you, too. Jesus changes lives. His presence changes the desires of our heart.”

  “I don’t know what to do.”

  “I think you do.” He smiled at her again and took a big bite of his sandwich. “I love that old hymn” he said as the band started to play “Oh Come, Oh Come Emmanuel”. They turned to listen while they ate.

  Pastor Ben was wrapping up the papers on his tray, “You know he thinks I don’t know who he is.” He chuckled at that and took a sip of his drink.

  “I do know that. He’s very private about it.”

  “He’s private about his family, too. His niece Mindy is a beautiful young lady.”

  Wrong pipes. The drink tickled her lungs as she tried to cough up the soda. Great.

  “It’s not about that,” she said when she managed to speak while wiping the tears from her eyes.

  “He called me a snob.” It wasn’t about that either, but it was the first thing that came to mind. And it had hurt.

  “Are you a snob?”

  “No. At least I don’t think so. I’ve been thinking about it, and he was right, I wasn’t just a pretty face at twenty-five.”

  “I bet you were.” She smiled at the compliment.

  “My point is this. By one definition or another, we have all had racy pasts. It doesn’t have to define our future. He risked his privacy for you. I’ve never seen him do that before.” He took on a somber tone, his smile gone, his eyes serious.

  “I would never betray him in that way.”

  “I know you won’t, young lady. I know you won’t.” He got down off the chair and opened his arms. “I hug people.”

  She stepped into his arms and felt comforted. “Well, this has been a treat. I had a feeling the Lord had work for me today.” His face brightened again into a big, wide smile. “Merry Christmas young lady. I’ll be seeing ya.” He took his tray over to the garbage can and left.

  It was nice to find out that the young woman was his niece. But it didn’t really matter did it. Not to the main argument. There was no reason why his tastes should change, if he preferred younger women he could just as well find himself a young Christian woman who would make him happy. It was logical. It made sense. Tigers don’t change their stripes and men like what they like. It was just too bad it made her miserable.

  Chapter 15

  Two weeks before Christmas her mother was feeling well enough to get the Christmas tree. Erica was still feeling faded and brown from her visit with Jack. She hoped that participating in their annual Christmas traditions would raise her spirits as they had done the week before when the high school students played.

  Both she and Lacey always insisted on a live tree from Svenson’s. A light, wet snow was falling as they left the house. She loved it. It was good to be home. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed being home while she was gone.

  It seemed now that every time she turned around, she bumped into some memory or tradition that had been part of the pleasant rhythm of life in Brandywine. None of the small traditions the town had meant more to her than those of the Christmas season.

  They had always gotten their Christmas tree at the same place. In fact, the only clear memory she had of her father was of him tying a tree on top of the car in the parking lot of Svensen’s.

  Erica had just removed her key from the ignition when her phone sounded a text message alert. She read it as it flashed. It was from Jack.

  “Check your briefcase.”

  Odd. Perhaps he was missing something that he thought might have gotten put in there by mistake or something? Anyway, it didn’t matter. If it was an emergency, he would have told Ann as they discussed the article. So it would have to wait until she got home. She wasn’t going to let it get in the way of her holiday with her mom.

  It was bad enough that she felt mopey most of the time when she would normally be jumping around with excitement. This was exactly why she couldn’t be involved with him anyway. At some point, he would realize his mistake and go and find a younger, prettier woman and then where would she be? Alone and miserable. This small bit of miserable was bound to be easier to get over than the large batch of miserable she would have to endure if she was to be married to him for years before he decided he didn’t want her anymore. No, this was the right choice, and in time, she would feel better.

  Once inside she was a little girl again. The awe she felt at the miracle of Christmas was rekindled by the fresh smell of evergreen infused with cinnamon and apple. A toy train that occasionally sounded a smoky whistle clattered around a track at the top of the room. Bin’s lined the walls filled with handcrafted ornaments. In the far corner, cookies and cider sat on a table. The small cabin room was packed with people jostling each other to get a better look at the myriad items for sale.

  Elspeth Svensen came in behind and around them carrying a white tree tag. She handed it off to her daughter behind the cash register and quickly turned to hug Lacey.

  “Welcome you two. I was wondering if I was going to have to bring a tree to your house!”

  They laughed and headed back outside to pick out a tree. Erica held her mother’s hand as they made their way around the muddy rows looking at each tree that might do. They made short work of it by choosing the third one Elspeth pulled out of the line for their inspection.

  Elspeth’s son-in-law loaded the tree into the back of her SUV while Lacey went back inside to grab a couple of poinsettias and a cup of cider.

  After getting the tree, they treated themselves to lunch at the Mountain View Pub. The snow had turned to a light drizzle. They sat at the window watching it come down as they drank tea and shared a piece of pumpkin pie.

  “I have something to tell you.” Lacey began. She didn’t look up; she just stirred her tea. Erica felt her stomach tighten. Her mother always started tough conversations this way. It had been the preface to untold numbers of hard decisions. We don’t have enough money to send you to ___(fill in the blank). We are not going to ___ (fill in the blank) after all.

  “What is it?”

  “I’ve decided to get married again.”

  “Oh.” Erica stuck a smile on her face while she scrounged around her brain to figure out who this man could be. She’d been home for a year and wasn’t aware of her mother dating anyone.

  “Stop that. You look silly.” Lacey began to laugh, giggle really.

  “Who is it?” Lacey looked around the room.

  “It’s still a secret.”

  “Mom. Does he know?”

  “No.” Her face widened and her eyes twinkled. She hunched in to whisper. “You want to know who it is?” Erica smiled in spite of herself.

  “Of course I do.”

  “Well, I’m not telling you here.”

  “Mom.”

  “Ok.” She leaned in even closer and mouthed rather than whispered, “Charlie Morgan.”

  Erica sat back in her chair, lungs deflated.

  “You are not.” Her mother twinkled from her seat.

  “Ok. I’m not. But why shouldn’t I? What do I lose if I do?”

  “Only you can answer that.”

  “What is your answer?”

  Confusion. Her brain boggled. This was about Jack?

  “Are you asking me why I don’t ‘go for it’?”

  “Yes. You are the one always talking about risk. So talk to me. What do you risk if you marry this man.”

  “Let’s go.” It was too public a place. She didn’t want everyone to hear her scream.

  Erica’s heart slowed down, and reason returned as she paid the bill. They walked carefully to the truck hand in hand. Inside the truck was silent except for the wipers squeaking across the windshield at timed intervals.

  “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

  “Nothing physical happened if that’s what you mean.”

  “You are a grown woman, I’m not asking you that.”

  “I think I fell in love with a man that I shouldn’t have. It all happened too fast.”

  “I fell in love with your father the first time I laid eyes on him.” Erica pulled into the driveway. Her mother went into the house while Erica got the tree out of the truck. She opened the garage, took out the stand, and put the tree in it. Her mother came out to hold the tree while Erica tightened the stand’s screws. Once it was secure, Erica carried the tree into the living room where they had staged boxes of Christmas ornaments. They sat down to take a breather and enjoy the sight and smell of the tree.

  “I thought the Lord told you he was the one.”

  “Yes, but that just let me know I was on the right track.” Lacey placed a box of ornaments on the table. Erica stood up and started weaving the string of multi-colored lights among the branches.

  “That was the spirit telling you that your heart was right.”

  “Yes.”

  “How did you know that he would be happy with you forever?”

  “I didn’t. I knew I would be happy with him. He had to choose what would make him happy.”

  Erica had thought of that, but when her mother actually said it out loud, it didn’t sound like a rationalization.

  “He has always gone out with much younger women.”

  “So. Plenty of men look at one thing and settle down with another. You have to allow that people can change if they want to.”

  Once the lights were on, they worked in silence hanging the ornaments stopping only to remind each other of the significance of special ones. Then they threaded tinsel lightly on the branches. When they were finally finished, they each got a bowl of chili from the crock pot, and sat on the couch amid the scattered boxes, and ate.

  Erica leaned over and whispered in her mother’s ear, “I’m still a virgin.”

  “This worries you?”

  “Yes. Wouldn’t it worry you? I’m forty-five years old. He’ll think I’m a freak . . . . if we ever get that far, that is.”

  “I think he’ll be delighted.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you had the strength to wait until it was right.” She paused. “Is he the right one?”

  “I have never felt this way about anyone, so he could be. But I messed it up pretty badly.”

  “Then you will have to pray, and then fix it as best you can.”

  “I’m not sure how to do that.”

  “You’ll know when the time comes. Next time he calls you might answer the phone.”

  The text.

  Erica pulled out her phone.

  “Check your briefcase.”

  She went to her office and rummaged through her briefcase. And there, wedged between several folders, was a spiral bound book. The Challenge of Friar Aldred by Jack Murphy. She ran back to the living room with her hands shaking.

  “Look at this.” She showed her mother the cover, but did not let the book out of her hands.

  “Is that a galley?”

  “Don’t know. Whatever it’s called, this is the next Friar Aldred novel. It’s not out yet.” She hugged it to her chest.

  “I’m going to take a nap while you read it,” Lacey said as she got up and headed out of the room.

  “Should I?” Her mother turned to face her.

  “You think it climbed in there on it’s own?”

  No, it hadn’t climbed in there on it’s own, but why did he put it there? Erica sat down on the couch and looked at the book. The cover was a plain, pale yellow, creased from use. She opened the front cover and found a note that he had written:

  * * *

  Erica,

  Would I ask too much of you to read my new book? I would very much like to discuss it with you over Christmas. Until then, I’ll be too busy working to do much of anything else. Are you free for a few hours at Christmas?

  —Jack

  * * *

  When had he written this? Before or after they had argued?

  Check your briefcase.

  He would hardly have written that if he didn’t mean for her to read it. Well, of course she would read it. No one in their right mind would turn down such an opportunity. But Christmas was another matter all together. She would have to think about just what that meant later.

  She sat and read into the night, stopping only for necessary things like tea and cookies. After midnight, she moved into her bed to finish the last few chapters. Her mother slept till morning.

  Chapter 16

  Erica stood in front of Lew's Hot Dogs on the corner of Main and Mistletoe watching the snow come down. How is it that snow and cold make me feel so festive? She wondered as she shivered with cold and anticipation of the day. As she walked toward the Brandywine Register, the whole village hummed with excitement around her. Christmas Eve was tonight, and all the shops were open early for the annual Christmas open house up and down Main Street. Carols spilled out of the shops mingling with the snow as she made her way down Main Street.