My dad’s kind eyes waited, and my next question surprised me. “Why did you stay with her?”

  Our family had been through some upheaval in the past few years with Chase discovering by chance that our father wasn’t his biological father. Our mom had been with someone else when she was first dating our dad. That man was Chase’s father, biologically speaking. He’d passed away before Chase knew about him.

  My father had taken the news in stride and even explained it hadn’t surprised him. I had initially been more invested than Chase in making those new connections. I suppose because I craved connections desperately and wanted a sense of family.

  My dad studied me for a moment before nodding, as if to himself. “Because I worried if I divorced her, you and Chase might become pawns in a game for her. In hindsight, I realize I made more mistakes with you. I should’ve put my foot down sooner and told her she couldn’t keep taking you with her. I’m sorry for that.”

  Tears stung in my eyes, but I was determined not to cry. I swallowed through the achy feeling in my throat as that confusing sadness washed through me. It was a familiar feeling, one tied to my mother when she was alive. Its edges had softened after she passed away.

  “It’s okay,” I said softly as I reached over and patted my father’s hand as if I was trying to comfort him. “You put a stop to it.”

  My father nodded. “Eventually. I didn’t see your mother clearly at first. When you and Chase were little, it was different. Or maybe I should say she really tried at first. I thought I could just handle all of it. Honestly, I suppose when you were younger, I thought maybe she would leave. I didn’t realize she saw me as her only source of financial stability so she stayed. When I think back, I wish I knew what I could’ve changed. But even now, I don’t. She was your mother and…” His words trailed off, and he shrugged, the regret and sadness in his gaze twisting an old knife in my heart.

  “It’s okay, Dad. I don’t know what you could’ve changed either.”

  “Are you going to tell me about your cancer that wasn’t cancer?” he asked gently.

  I took a deep breath before letting it out and nodded. “Short version. I was having sharp pains in my back, really sharp. I went to the doctor. I panicked because they ordered an MRI and said I had a tumor. They told me I had to have a biopsy and sent me to the oncology unit to get it done because it could’ve been malignant. It wasn’t. I was so freaked out and didn’t want to freak you guys out. I just ended up not saying anything, and I don’t really know why.”

  I didn’t want to share how the guy who I’d let into my heart had let me down completely.

  “Do you still have a tumor?” my dad pressed.

  I shook my head quickly. “I had outpatient surgery. When they realized it was benign, they scheduled an outpatient procedure. It didn’t affect my movement. It was as simple as a cyst, but it was on my spine and kind of scary at first.”

  My dad was saying, “I wish you would’ve told us,” just as Chase came walking in the kitchen from the garage.

  “Told us what?” he prompted.

  Chase read the room quickly, picking up on the fact that we were having a serious conversation. His eyes landed on me. “What happened?” He had his keys in his hand and pocketed them as he stopped beside the kitchen table, looking back and forth between us.

  “I had a benign tumor on my spine. It’s fine. I had surgery to remove it a few months before moving home.”

  “What?” My brother’s tone was sharp.

  “I’m fine!” I hurried to explain. “I panicked and didn’t want to scare anybody, so I didn’t say anything.”

  Chase ran a hand through his hair, his expression bewildered as he looked at me and then back at our father. When he glanced back at me, I could feel the chill of his disappointment. “Why wouldn’t you tell us about this?”

  I ignored the tightness in my chest, fiddling with a napkin. I twisted it between my fingers and shrugged. “I don’t know, Chase. I didn’t want anybody to panic, and it turned out fine, so that made sense.”

  Chase looked hurt, really hurt. “Tiffany, you’ve been home for months. You’ve always been so supportive of Dad and me and, well, everyone.” His arm swung in an arc as if indicating the entire world.

  I looked over at my father, almost desperate for him to help, to somehow explain this, to me as much as to my brother. My father, because he was the man he was, stepped into the chasm that felt like it was stretching between us. “You know, son, sometimes, things don’t make a lot of sense. Especially when we’re scared.”

  Chase stared at him before nodding very slowly as he looked back over at me.

  “It doesn’t make sense to me, Chase. I just panicked, and it seemed better to keep it quiet. Then I kept keeping it quiet, and it became more of a thing than it ever needed to be.” I twisted the napkin even more tightly between my fingers, blinking back tears as I looked down at it.

  I heard my brother take a deep breath before replying, “Okay, I get it. I’m glad you’re okay. Do we need to worry?”

  That weight of worry reverberated in my heart. Ever since our mother passed away, I had tried to build a bridge across the gulf she had created between Chase, my father, and me. I knew I wasn’t anything like her, but those years when she had tried to make me her mini-me had been hard. I’d felt so lonely with her. As a little girl, I’d had a deeper understanding of the loneliness she felt in the world because I felt it. Her loneliness was so big. It was painful, like standing in an empty space and calling out for someone only to hear your own voice echo back to you again and again and again.

  “No need to worry. I’m sorry,” I said, blinking hard and swallowing before I looked up. I was an expert at not crying even when the tears were wicking up from the tight knot in my throat and stinging my eyes.

  Chase took two strides. Acting on instinct, I stood, and he wrapped me in a big hug. His embrace was as sturdy and comforting as it had always been. My big brother always took care of me, or tried to, when we were kids. We had forged a strong bond, which my mother resented. I had tried to make up for the way she’d been by loving everyone as fiercely as I could.

  When Chase stepped back, I felt lighter. When I looked toward my father, his soft smile felt like a beam of love.

  “Are we okay?” I asked as I looked back and forth between them.

  “We’re always okay,” Chase said firmly.

  My father nodded emphatically. “Always.”

  A short while later, I was driving away when my dashboard lit up with the name McKenna, my brother’s half-sister. Chase’s discovery that he had a whole new family had been fraught for him. That had felt much easier for me because it wasn’t my story. Love was big and generous when it came to everyone but me, or that was how it felt sometimes.

  I tapped the screen to answer. “Hey, you!”

  McKenna’s voice was warm, and she replied, “Hey there!”

  “What’s up?”

  “Just thought I’d check in. I’m planning a trip to Willow Brook for business reasons but really because it’s an excuse to visit Chase and your dad and you.”

  “Chase mentioned you were coming.”

  Emotion crested like a wave inside. It wasn’t this. This just reminded me of how I could deal with other people’s stuff so much easier than mine. When we discovered that our dad wasn’t Chase’s biological father, it had been no sweat for my dad to remind Chase he was his father in every other way and really mean it. It had been a shock, but he had admitted the suspicion had always been there. Worrying about it wasn’t a priority for him. While Chase had been all tied up about it and angry with our mom, which I could understand, I could handle it. I’d inherited our father’s generous and loving nature and his easy acceptance of situations. Maybe I couldn’t hope for love for myself, but I would give it to everyone else.

  “Tiffany?” McKenna prompted.

  “Oh, sorry!” I rolled my eyes to myself. “I was distracted for a minute by a moose.” There was a moose over in a field, standing at a distance as it watched the highway. But it hadn’t really distracted me, and moose were a common sighting in Alaska.

  “Well, don’t run into it,” McKenna replied.

  “Already passed it.”

  “Anyway, I was calling to make sure you’ll be around. I texted Chase and Hallie.”

  “I’ll be around. It’ll be great to see you. Dad should be around too.”

  “Awesome! Well, I’ll see you then.”

  “Let’s get together, just us, while you’re here.”

  “You got it. Also, how are things going with Ross?”

  I paused, considering my thoughts for a moment. “Okay, I think. He seems to be doing all right. The whole thing is just…” I paused again. “It’s just hard, I think. Both of his parents died, and now he lives in Alaska. He’s got two grown-ups in charge of him who I know he doesn’t remember before this.”

  “I know. It makes you really think about how you have to plan for contingencies. It’s just sad. What do you think about them setting it up so both of you share guardianship? I think that’s interesting.”

  “I know. Many people have more than one person listed, but I don’t know what they were thinking. We’re making it work.”

  “I think they were trying to set you up,” McKenna said, her tone sly.

  My internal gossip radar pinged. “What have you heard?” I ground out, sensing she and Hallie had spoken.

  “Not much,” she replied in a singsong voice.

  “What did Hallie tell you?” I demanded.

  “That means there’s something to tell.” She laughed, and I knew I was caught.

  I gritted my teeth and let out a groan. “Fine. I kissed him, so now it’s complicated, and I don’t know what the hell to do because I really like him.” I conveniently left out that we’d gone far past kissing.

  “Good thing I’ll be there. I think you and I need to get together ourselves. Just you and me. This is not a phone conversation.”

  I didn’t know why it was so easy, but McKenna and I understood each other in a way that not everyone did. She didn’t even know all the details about my mom, but she obviously knew the main part, which was that our mom had kept a big secret from our dad.

  I didn’t know everything about her either. She was the only sister in a whole passel of brothers. That alone would be challenging.

  “We can meet at Firehouse Café the morning after you get here. You can tell me how to untangle the mess I’ve created for myself.”

  “It’s a deal.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Wes

  I stepped off the elliptical in the workout area at the fire station, tapping the button on it to turn it off before grabbing my water bottle and taking several swallows. When I lowered it, Rowan stepped off the other elliptical across from me.

  He drained his water bottle and glanced over, cracking a grin. “How far did you go?”

  “Ten miles.”

  “Same here. That interval thing kicks my ass sometimes.”

  “Isn’t that the point?” I set my water bottle down as I walked over to the weights.

  Rowan followed me, and we both began a rotation. “So how are things with Tiffany?” he asked between reps.

  “Huh?”

  He waggled his brows. “Dude, you know the way news travels in this town. There’s a betting pool on whether Chase will kick your ass if you fuck this shit up. Just a heads-up on that.”

  I finished a series, lowering the weights and setting them back in their stand. “For fuck’s sake,” I muttered.

  “You’ve got this. Just plan on marrying her, and you’ll be all set.”

  “Marrying her?” I sputtered.

  He set his weights down, shrugging as he straightened. “Just don’t break her heart.” His gaze sobered as he looked at me. He clearly sensed my internal confusion. “You okay?”

  “I think I’m in over my head.”

  “All right, this calls for an actual conversation.”

  A short while later, we had showered and changed and were in the kitchen at the station. I was relieved Chase wasn’t around. A few more guys were now working out, and some others were watching TV. Even though we didn’t hang out and spend the night here, we had a pretty nice setup.

  Blessedly, it was just Rowan and me in the kitchen area at the moment. I got us two bottles of water, and he fetched some chips from the snack area before sitting at the table. After he settled in, he circled his hand in the air. “Okay, spill.”

  “Spill what?” Beck approached from the hallway area, snagging his own bottle of water and some chips before sitting and looking at me expectantly.

  I groaned as I glanced back and forth between them. “Dude, do you ever not just jump into any conversation?” I couldn’t help but ask.

  Unrepentant, Beck shook his head. Rowan cracked a grin, shaking his head slightly as his gaze flicked from Beck to me. “He’s like that. You just gotta get used to it.”

  Beck shrugged, offering, “Maybe I’m nosy…” He paused when Rowan snorted, and I rolled my eyes. “I give good advice.” He looked at Rowan. “Wouldn’t you say?”

  Rowan eyed him thoughtfully. “Actually, yes.” Pausing, Rowan gestured to me. “Wes thinks he’s in over his head.”

  Beck leaned his elbows on the table. “Did you do something stupid?”

  I smiled ruefully before taking a swallow of water. Setting the water bottle down, I traced around the base of it with my forefinger as I considered his question. “Yes. I definitely did something stupid. Then I compounded it by doing something more stupid. Maybe none of it would matter, except I’m unexpectedly in charge of a kid.”

  Beck’s gaze shifted from teasing to somber. It was sometimes amusing to consider the Beck I knew growing up here. When he was younger, he was always in the middle of something. He was the first kid to take a dare and sort of the class clown, but never an asshole about it. In high school, he’d been a serious flirt. Again, not an asshole, but not the kind of guy anyone expected to be serious. In the years I’d been away, aside from becoming a hotshot firefighter, Beck had fallen in love, gotten married, and had two kids. He was a dedicated family man who loved his wife and his kids with unabashed fierceness. Family life suited him. Oh, he was still a flirt and a tease and always quick with a dare and the aforementioned nosy guy who injected himself into any conversation, but he was always good-natured and solid and loyal as a friend in all aspects.

  “You’re a father,” he said. “Even if it doesn’t seem like that.”

  I leaned back in my chair, running a hand through my hair and letting my arm drop as the weight of what he said slammed into me. “How can I be a father? Ross’s dad just died. Obviously, I know I’m his guardian, but…” My words trailed off as I looked at my two friends, feeling a little lost about it all.

  “That’s not it. I get it, man. Maybe it’s not there emotionally yet, but you’re the guy making the major decisions in this kid’s life.”

  Rowan nodded. “True. The emotional part will catch up, but you’re it for this kid. You and Tiffany.”

  Beck leaned back in his chair, cocking his head to the side as he studied me. “Something’s going on with you and Tiffany,” he said, without even a little bit of doubt in his question. His words were spoken as a statement, a fact.

  Rowan pressed his tongue on the inside of his mouth, a hint of mirth entering his gaze. “Yeah.”

  I groaned, muttering, “Fuck.”

  “We’re friends,” Rowan said by way of explanation. “He didn’t say much to me about it, just that Hallie mentioned something to him.”

  “Did he talk to you?” Beck interjected.

  I nodded, letting out a resigned sigh. “Yeah. And that’s why I fucked up. I’m in over my head. I didn’t mean for this to become a thing. I really like Tiffany. Neither one of us planned for this, and it wouldn’t be a big deal except—”

  “For Ross,” Beck finished for me. “Last thing that kid needs is for the two new people in charge of his whole universe to get complicated.”

  “Fuck.” Rowan let out a low laugh, shaking his head slowly. “I guess the upside is you really like her. How does she feel?”

  “I think we’re on the same wavelength, but I’m not sure.”

  “Do you love her?” Beck was dead serious, his eyes on mine as he waited for my answer.

  My heart thudded in my chest, kicking hard and fast. Beck dropping that word—love—like it was no big deal, yet also everything, felt like a kick straight in my solar plexus.

  “Oh, man,” Rowan said as he studied me.

  “What?” I looked between them.

  “You love her,” Beck said, stating it as fact, his voice level and steady.

  “What the hell?” I sputtered. “I think it’s a little soon for that.”

  I glanced at Rowan as if he would clear up that little misunderstanding.

  All he did was shrug. He looked toward Beck. “I don’t think he’s ready to face the facts yet.”

  “How the hell can you guys know if I’m in love?” Defensiveness bristled inside me.

  “We probably know more than you do about love,” Beck said dryly. He thumbed toward Rowan. “This guy was in love with Mae since college. He always knew she was the one. It just took a while for them to sort that out. Maybe I didn’t know what love felt like, but I knew when I knew. Maisie is it for me.” Beck thumped his fist against his chest, and the certainty in his words and eyes felt like a bell ringing in my own chest.

  I leaned forward on my elbows, tunneling my hands through my hair before dropping them to the table as I let my breath out. “Wow.” My voice was wondering.

  “Don’t fuck it up,” Beck warned me.

  “Setting aside whether I’m in love with Tiffany, which I’m not so sure about, what the hell do I do about Ross?”

  “Tighten your shit up with Tiffany before you guys talk to him about it. And don’t be stupid. He’s already been through enough.”