“For things to be okay with Rhys,” I said softly.

  “Well, make sure he knows that and give it a little time. Do you want the baby?”

  I let out a snort. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yes. It’s not that I didn’t think I eventually wanted children. I did. But this feels out of the blue. Now things are weird with Rhys, and I keep thinking that should make me question it, but it’s not.”

  “Having children is never easy. Listen to your heart on this.”

  “Do you mind if I go to the cabin for a few days?” I asked impulsively. “You could meet me there.”

  My parents had a small, cozy cabin my dad had used for hunting. He didn’t hunt much anymore, but they’d made some improvements to it. Since it was only about an hour and a half drive out of Fireweed Harbor, it was a great getaway. My mother would need to take the ferry to get there, but I could drive.

  I craved my mother’s steady, warm presence. I needed something to center me, and maybe she could do that. I also wanted my father’s quieter but just as calm and centering company. My mother tended to be the one I talked to and felt closer to, but my father was just as important. He was a solid, stabilizing force in our family, like the foundation of a house, I suppose. Maybe it wasn’t frilly, and you didn’t decorate it, but it was as important as everything else.

  “You know you’re welcome anytime. I was just saying to your father this morning that we should take the ferry up there for a visit. Sometimes when something startling happens, we all just need a little time. When would you like to meet there? I can check with work and take the ferry the day after tomorrow.”

  “I have to work tomorrow, but I’ll leave afterward. I’ll bring you some goodies from the bakery.”

  “We’d love that. I also need a new mug from Spill the Beans Café. The handle on mine broke.”

  I was smiling after I ended the call a few minutes later. This was what I needed. It certainly wouldn’t solve all my problems, but it would help. It would also keep me from obsessing over the dark windows at Rhys’s house.

  The following evening, I snagged my backpack out of the break room. I had already packed for the weekend. Phyllis was standing in the kitchen. She held up a box. “Here. I know your mom loves the cranberry-orange scones. There are some of those, along with your father’s favorite oatmeal molasses cookies. I also put two mugs in here for your mom.”

  “Phyllis, let me pay for this stuff. Please.”

  “No,” Phyllis said firmly. “Your mother is a dear friend. You tell her I expect to see her in the next few months.” I smiled as I took the box from Phyllis. She leaned up and kissed my cheek. “Have a safe trip. We’ll see you when you get back.”

  I loved the drive from Fireweed Harbor to my parents’ cabin. My parents had moved to Juneau when my father had taken a position with the University of Alaska. They’d sold their old house here, but they’d kept the cabin.

  Tomorrow was the third day since I had texted Rhys. I was going to be restless until then, so a getaway was a good plan. As I drove, I admired the views of the ocean, mountains, and glaciers. The sun was setting, creating a splashy watercolor in the sky with a swirl of bright reds and oranges. I kept the windows in the back cracked. It was spring and still chilly out, but the air smelled so good.

  I got the last lingering colors of the sun for the first few minutes before it slipped behind the mountains, and the stars and the moon claimed the sky, glittering in the darkness.

  The communities in Southeast Alaska weren’t connected by roads since mountains and glaciers surrounded them. Each area had its own road system for any local travel. When my headlights illuminated a sign announcing a detour due to construction, I assumed I could easily navigate it. I didn’t think much of it and followed the signs onto a side road off the highway. I was startled by a moose abruptly bolting into the road and slammed on my brakes, muttering, “Close call.”

  When I didn’t see another sign guiding me back toward the highway, I started to get a little worried. The road I was on transitioned from pavement to gravel.

  “Nothing unusual,” I said to myself.

  Alaska had plenty of gravel roads. Even sections of the main highways in the less settled areas were gravel for miles upon miles. The road curved ahead, and I followed it, thinking, This makes sense. This must be parallel to the highway.

  Or so I thought. A solid half hour later, I stared at the orange sign mounted in the road. End of road.

  I glared at the sign. “What the fuck?”

  I glanced down at my phone. Of course, I had no reception. I also glared at that and my car’s useless GPS. This was not good. I’d been planning to get gas on the highway.

  And, now, my best guess was I was deep into Tongass National Forest. I hadn’t seen lights from a house in at least twenty minutes. There was no way I was getting out and walking anywhere.

  Putting my car in park, I clambered into the back seat and reached into the hatch, dragging my emergency kit forward. I had a nice winter sleeping bag and a few supplies. For better or worse, I could make it through the night.

  Looking at my phone again, I willed some kind of signal to come forth. Eyeing my gas gauge, I knew I had a few miles that I could go and maybe that would bring me closer to a signal. According to the gauge, I had thirty miles worth of gas. I had easily driven thirty miles along this detour. I didn’t even know how the hell that happened. I started driving back, checking my phone signal every minute or so.

  As soon as I got one bar, I pulled over, my headlights arcing out over what appeared to be a small valley.

  Please, please, please.

  My mother’s phone rang three times before she picked up. “Mom!” I exclaimed. “I’m lost. There’s a detour and—” The line went dead.

  Lowering my phone, I stared at the screen. Call dropped.

  When I tried to call my mother again, the call was dropped before the phone even rang.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Rhys

  As I walked up the stairs at my house, I couldn’t keep myself from looking over at Haven’s place. Not a single light was on, and her car wasn’t outside.

  This was the first night I’d come home in the past two days. I’d offered to help Adam out with the house he was building just down the road from where I intended to construct a place soon. It was easier to stay out there, or so I’d told myself.

  Once I was inside the house, I opened my refrigerator. “Fuck,” I muttered.

  I needed to go grocery shopping. My phone vibrated in my pocket as I released the refrigerator door, letting it fall shut. Sliding my phone out of my pocket, I glanced at the screen to see Deacon’s name and answered the call immediately. “Hey, Deacon, what’s up?”

  “Haven is lost,” he barked in my ear.

  “What?!” My stomach dropped. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “My mom just called me. She said Haven was driving to the cabin. She said a few other things. Apparently, neither one of you can be bothered to keep me up to speed. Maybe your relationship is none of my business, but she’s my sister,” he said pointedly.

  “Deacon, where is Haven?” I ground out. “You can give me hell later.”

  “Point taken. All I know is she left after work today. My mom didn’t know there was construction on the highway because of that rock slide last winter. Remember?”

  “Yeah.” Dread and worry tightened in my gut.

  “Haven called her to tell her there was a detour, but the call got dropped. My mom has tried to call her back, but she can’t get through to her. Based on when she left, Haven should’ve been there over an hour ago at this point. My mom called the state troopers, and they said they can go out there and try to find Haven. She’s on that stretch between Fireweed Harbor and the national forest. The closest trooper is at least an hour and a half away.”

  I was already walking out of the house. “I’m on my way. I’ll call my brothers and McKenna, and we’ll all start looking. Where are you?”

  “In Fairbanks. I checked the flight schedule, and there are no flights from here to Fireweed Harbor until early tomorrow morning.”

  “I’m on it. I’ll call you. If you can get a line in to the firefighters here, maybe they can give us some info about the detour route.”

  “You got it. I’ll text you.”

  My heart crashed against my ribs, panic, and fear banging together like loud cymbals. I called Blake first as I began driving.

  “Haven’s lost,” I said as soon as he answered.

  I could hear the familiar muted cacophony from the winery in the background. “What?”

  “She was driving to her parents’ cabin outside of town. We don’t know what happened except she called her mom and said there was a detour and she was lost. The call dropped, and no one can reach her. She should’ve been there over an hour ago.”

  “Fuck. Give me five minutes, and I’ll be ready to leave. Do you want me to ride with you?”

  “That’d be great.” Worried as I was, I knew Haven was sensible. She wouldn’t leave her car. I knew that. I clung to that hope. “I’m driving right over to get you.”

  After that, I called Kenan and Adam. Conveniently, Kenan was with Adam. They said they would start driving right away.

  Blake had already called McKenna. She texted me as I was pulling into the parking lot behind the winery.

  I called her back while I waited for Blake to come out. “Do you want me to drive down there?” she asked by way of greeting.

  My mind spun through the options. “I don’t think so. Blake and I are leaving now, and Adam and Kenan are also on their way. Why don’t you call Deacon and be his point of contact? He said he’s going to touch base with the fire station here and see if they can get us a map of wherever the detour is supposed to go and where she could’ve ended up.”

  “You got it.” I started to hang up, stopping when McKenna added, “Rhys?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Haven will be okay.”

  “I hope so.” That was all I could manage in return.

  My chest literally ached. Dread settled in a cold ball in my stomach. Haven was sensible, and I knew she would stay in her car. I just hoped she hadn’t gotten too far off course. Cell reception was spotty in the mountains and forests covering Southeast Alaska.

  A moment later, Blake was opening the door to my SUV. “Let’s go,” he said.

  He buckled his seat belt in a flash, and I started driving. When I came to the stop sign to turn onto the highway, he asked, “Do you want me to drive?”

  Glancing sideways, I met his concerned gaze. “Nah. I’ll lose my mind just sitting there.”

  The first few minutes of the drive were quiet.

  “Haven will be fine.” Blake’s clear and firm voice was filled with certainty.

  “I hope so.” I took a breath, willing the reckless beat of my heart to settle. I wasn’t typically an anxious guy, but right now, anxiety had my pulse kicking along at an unsteady beat and dread coating my insides.

  My cell phone rang, the dashboard screen lighting up with Deacon’s name. I tapped it to answer. “Hey, Blake is with me, and you’re on speaker.”

  “Hey, Blake,” Deacon said quickly. “The troopers are on their way, but the two closest ones on duty are farther away than you are. They just finished dealing with a car accident north of Fireweed Harbor. I spoke to one of the firefighters in Fireweed Harbor. He told me the detour loops through part of the national forest. He said there are signs, but it sounds like she missed them. He assures me it comes to a dead end in the forest if she missed the signs to turn. There aren’t many side roads. I’m going to text you the map he sent me.”

  “Text it to Blake. I’m driving. Actually, text it to all of us. Adam and Kenan should be behind us any minute now.”

  “They’ve already texted me,” Blake chimed in. “Looks like they’re only a few miles behind us. Adam is driving.”

  “Got it.”

  “How much of the main highway is blocked?” I asked.

  “It’s about a five-mile stretch. When that rock slide happened last winter, it knocked off the side of the road along that area with the steep bluff. They’re going to repair it soon. The firefighter crew will head out as well. I’m sure you guys will find her.”

  “I have my satellite phone,” Blake said, lifting it from beside his feet. I hadn’t even noticed he had it with him.

  Blake and I both enjoyed backcountry skiing, so we had satellite phones for when we went out to more isolated areas. I just hadn’t been thinking to get my gear when I left.

  “Good call,” Deacon replied. “All right, guys. You keep driving. Call me once you find her.”

  “You’ve got some faith,” I returned.

  “Of course I do.”

  After we ended the call, my phone vibrated where it sat in the console. “Check that for me.”

  “It’s the map,” Blake said.

  He tapped his phone screen and widened his fingers to enlarge the view.

  “Haven’s going to be fine,” I said, almost as if to myself.

  “We’re gonna find her.” Blake sounded confident, more confident than I felt.

  “It’s dark and…” My eyes flicked to the dashboard screen. “It’s just over thirty degrees out.”

  Nights in Alaska were cool in the spring. It would drop to freezing at the higher elevations for another month at least. I didn’t want to think about the fact that people were more likely to get hypothermia when the temperature hovered above freezing. Because the human body needed to stay warmer than just above freezing, a lot warmer.

  I hoped Haven had plenty of gas to keep her car warm.

  “Have you talked to her in the last few days?” Blake asked.

  “Since I found out she was pregnant?”

  “Yeah. I know you’re upset. I get it. But—”

  I cut in. “I know. I should’ve talked to her. Right now, I just want to find her. I’m hurt that she didn’t tell me, but I love her. That’s all that really matters.”

  “It is.” Blake paused, taking a swallow from his water bottle. “Speaking of people not telling us things, Cathy flew out early.”

  “She did?” I was frankly relieved to have the distraction of something else to talk about.

  “She was supposed to leave in two days, but she called Mom and said something came up with work. Mom said she thinks she’ll stay in touch.”

  “I think she will. Maybe she wanted more child support for Matthew, but Mom just wants to be in contact with Matthew like any grandmother. In Mom’s ideal world, Cathy would live here so Mom could see Matthew every day, but that’s not going to happen.”

  “Yeah,” Blake said dryly. “I think it’s for the best there will be a little distance. This way, she can just love him, visit him, and won’t get all tied up wishing she could bring Jake back.”

  I took a breath, letting it out slowly. “I think you’re right.”

  “Has Haven told you if she wants to keep the baby?”

  “Because I’m an idiot, I didn’t really give her a chance to talk about it.”

  “What do you think now?”

  My eyes stung with tears, and my throat felt tight. I forced myself to take a slow breath. “I love her, and I just want it to work out.”

  “How do you feel about being a father?” Blake wasn’t going to let me slide.

  “I’ve actually had some time to think about that recently,” I said with a sharp, humorless laugh. “I kind of panicked when I thought maybe Matthew was my son, but I’m not panicking now. I think you were right.”

  “About what?”

  “When you said I was holding something back.”

  When I slid a quick look at my brother, he wasn’t laughing or teasing. His gaze was somber as he nodded. “We’ve got each other, but our family’s got some shit to deal with. We all have our reasons to hold back.”

  “We do. We’re going to find Haven, and I’m going to make sure she knows I love her. If she wants to have our baby, I’m there. One hundred percent.”

  Blake reached over, squeezing my shoulder lightly before his hand dropped away. “You’ll be a good father. You’ve had to be a father to all of us at times.”

  “Dude, I’m only a year and a half older than you.” I tried to tease because this conversation felt heavy, and my emotions crested high.

  “Still.”

  My throat felt tight again when I reached for the water bottle tucked in the side of the door. “Let’s find Haven.”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Haven

  I burrowed deeper into my down coat, clenching my jaw in an effort to keep my teeth from chattering. I had resorted to periodically starting my car and blasting the heat for a few minutes, just enough to break through the cold before turning it back off. My gas gauge told me I only had twenty miles left. Seeing as I didn’t know when someone would come by, I needed to make it through the night.

  My winter emergency kit contained a winter sleeping bag, one of those emergency blankets, first-aid flares, and so on. I still debated whether it was worth using a flare out here. I tried to remember the last house I’d driven past, but I wasn’t sure.

  I knew I had to have traveled into the forestry roads. Tongass National Forest stretched along the side of the highway outside of Fireweed Harbor.

  “I’ll make it through the night,” I whispered.

  I would. I didn’t want to be cold, and I knew this weather was perilous. I had to stay warm. I could do it. But I would be bored and lonely and trying to fend off my fear all night.

  My mind kept circling back to Rhys. It all seemed so rational to take a few days to give him space. Yet now, the ache of missing him was painfully sharp. I felt almost breathless if I let myself think about him for too long.

  In the dark, cold night, my insecurities around Cathy felt silly. My surprise pregnancy felt too much. The timing was terrible, and I knew it. Yet I still wanted our baby. I had no idea what Rhys wanted.