I lowered my head, moving slowly enough she could dissuade me. She didn’t. Her eyes held mine all the way until my lips brushed over hers. It felt as if a shock of electricity zapped from her to me. I didn’t know who gasped. I angled my head and slid my hand into her hair.

  As I fit my mouth over hers, her body went taut before she let out this little sigh, her breath hitching in the back of her throat. At the sound, it felt as if lightning sizzled through my body, the heat of it so intense I felt singed inside.

  She pressed closer, and I felt the soft give of her curves. I suddenly felt greedy and slid my hand around her waist, down over the sweet curve of her bottom. As I pulled her close, I let my tongue tangle against hers. She startled me by kissing me boldly. She pressed closer again and just as quickly drew back on a gasp, jumping away as if I had shocked her.

  She’d shocked me, and my heartbeat was thundering. Her hand pressed against her heart, our breath misting in the air as she stared at me.

  “What was that?” she whispered.

  “A kiss.”

  “Don’t ruin this. Please.”

  Before I could ask what she meant, she was climbing in her car and slamming the door. I stepped back, watching as she drove away until her taillights disappeared down the long driveway a moment later.

  “Ruin what?” I asked the ceiling in my bedroom a little while later.

  Chapter Eight

  Skylar

  “Why did I say that?” I asked myself as I ran a brush ruthlessly through my hair the following morning. “Tucker’s going to think I’m crazy. And now I’m talking to myself.”

  My reflection had nothing to say in return. Feeling foolish, I tugged off my T-shirt and leggings and climbed in the shower, hoping the steaming hot water would clear my head. It had been really nice to hang out with everybody last night. I thought maybe I could make friends. But if Tucker was going to go and kiss me, that would ruin everything.

  I had serious deep-seated and intractable abandonment issues. I tended to get clingy real fast when it came to guys. The way I’d managed that little issue for the past few years was to never get involved with anyone. That was worse than trying to make friends. My entire childhood had been colored by a desperate craving to feel like I belonged somewhere, to have a family and someone who loved me.

  When high school came along, I was like a little barnacle when it came to guys. I didn’t do anything crazy, like stalk someone, but I was crushed at even typical breakups. I’d had several therapists during that stretch, and they’d all tried to help me understand my pattern and that it was okay to have those issues. They’d told me I would have to figure it out in order to have a healthy relationship. After the last breakup a few years ago, I decided it wasn’t worth it to keep trying. I couldn’t seem to persuade my heart to listen to my brain.

  I resolved it was best not to try to have a relationship because I tumbled into feeling nervous, skittish, and anxious followed by being needy and clingy. Then to prevent the eventual rejection from coming, I would sabotage. I was black belt–level skilled at sabotaging relationships.

  My life worked better when I didn’t put myself in situations where I got emotionally needy. The one and only person who had always been there for me was Emily. And now, she was gone. As Tucker had so eloquently put it, life fucking sucks sometimes.

  When I got to work that morning, I was relieved Ludie was ensconced in her office working on accounting stuff. Dan immediately logged off once I had my headset on. I could lose myself in coordinating cargo transport, providing weather updates, and more. I wondered if I would hear Tucker’s voice at any point today.

  The second I wondered that, my skin got all hot and prickly because our kiss might’ve been brief, but—sweet hell—it was so good. He even tasted good, a little minty. He smelled like the ocean with a hint of spruce underneath, which was kind of weird. But I suppose it was Alaska. He smelled like where he lived, and I loved that. I was going to be all up in my head and wished I had something, anything, to distract me.

  When my phone vibrated with a text message, and I saw it was Cammi, I practically cheered.

  Cammi: Hey, I know it’s short notice, but if you can, come by Misty Mountain Café after eight tonight. We’re gonna have a late dinner and hang out. We’d love to see you.

  She added a flower and a heart, which was so Cammi. I didn’t even let myself obsess about it. I replied right away because I needed a distraction.

  Me: I’d love to. I’ll be there. Thanks for thinking of me.

  That got me another heart and another flower.

  When I parked outside Misty Mountain Café, I tried to ignore the nervous feeling inside. My chest felt tight, and I was stiff all over. Socially, it was fair to say I didn’t have the best skills. It was hard to learn them in foster care. Like most foster kids, I’d been too busy trying to read the room of every new home I was in and suss out what to do next. The safest option was to hold back because you never knew who you could trust.

  The café was in an old Quonset hut, which was pretty common around here. The curved corrugated steel structure had been transformed into a whimsical place. There was a colorful sign, and the inside felt open and airy with artwork hanging on the walls and pretty painted tables. I tucked my wallet in my pocket and took a deep breath. Squaring my shoulders, I climbed out of the car and approached the building.

  This shouldn’t have been a big deal. It was just dinner, and Cammi was nice. I couldn’t imagine any of her friends being anything other than completely lovely. When I peered through the window, I saw Cammi at the counter talking to my landlady, Risa. I relaxed a little. Risa was also welcoming.

  I wasn’t sure if I should knock. As I contemplated this, another woman looked over, one I didn’t recognize. She waved at me through the windows, and I pushed through the doorway, pausing when Cammi lifted her head. A smile broke across her face. “Hey, Skylar! Glad you could make it.”

  She rounded the counter, and Risa walked over with her. “Hey, you! How’s the apartment?” Risa slipped her hand through my elbow and gave it a squeeze.

  “It’s perfect,” I said honestly.

  “I’m so glad you like it.”

  “Are you going to need to rent it when summer comes?” As soon as I asked that question, I mentally bopped myself upside the head. Now was not the time for this conversation, but my anxiety tended to bubble up like that.

  “No, I don’t do the tourist thing. It’s a lot of work.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Risa smiled again, squeezing my elbow once more. “Of course, I’m sure. It’s your place as long as you want to stay there.”

  “She’s already heard the rumors about the summer rental nightmare,” Cammi said from Risa’s other side.

  “Oh, are there rumors about that?” Risa asked.

  Cammi rolled her eyes. “Of course. Apartments are like gold come summer.”

  “I honestly don’t want to deal with it. I’d have to clean the room every day, change the sheets, do all the touristy stuff,” Risa explained. “I am happy to have a good tenant stay there all summer. I’ve even left it empty sometimes when I don’t have it rented yet.”

  “Are you serious?” the woman who waved at me asked. Her dark curls bounced around her shoulders when she turned to look at me. “You must be Skylar.”

  I nodded. “This is Susie,” Risa said from my side as she freed my elbow. “Don’t be too nosy, Susie,” Risa warned.

  “Nosy? I’m not nosy,” Susie protested.

  “Bullshit,” Daphne said.

  Glancing over, I saw she was sitting at a table.

  “Oh, hey,” I said.

  She lifted her hand in a wave. “Nice to see you. This is one of our girls’ nights.”

  “Thanks for inviting me.” My gaze found Cammi, and I smiled.

  “You lucked out. Daphne doesn’t get to come very often, and she brought leftovers from the lodge,” Cammi said conspiratorially.

  “Ooh, I get your food twice in a week. I feel blessed,” I said.

  “I keep telling Daphne she should open a restaurant in town. I know the lodge loves you and all that,” Susie said as she sat down with a flounce beside Daphne. “But Diamond Creek could use a new restaurant, a little competition.”

  Daphne laughed softly. “I really like my setup right now. I’ve done a full-time restaurant, and it is a lot of work.”

  “Isn’t what you do already a lot of work?” I asked, sitting down when Cammi gestured for me to take a seat beside her.

  “Yeah, but I can manage it. I cook for the guests at the lodge, so it’s a set number all the time. Then I do the extras for fun, like Cammi’s sandwiches,” she explained. “I had a restaurant before. And, well, that kind of thing can run you into the ground.”

  “Oh, where was that?” I asked.

  “In my other life in Atlanta.” Daphne waggled her eyebrows, smiling slightly. “I did enjoy it, and it was a good experience, but I don’t need the rush.”

  “Diamond Creek is not Atlanta. I don’t think it’d be as busy,” Cammi pointed out.

  Daphne eyed her skeptically. “Tourist season is insane here.”

  Susie found that hysterical and burst out laughing. The bell above the door chimed, and I glanced over to see two more women entering—Gemma and Nora.

  “Oh, it’s almost everybody who was at dinner last night except the guys,” Nora said when she sat down beside me. “We need a break from the guys sometimes.”

  “What do you think about Diamond Creek so far?” Susie asked. “You work for Ludie and Dan, right?”

  “I do. I love it.”

  Nora smiled over at me. “Skylar’s perfect at manning those transports and reporting calls. She knows when she can be conversational, but she’s all business. Ludie’s always a little too loud for me ever since she started going deaf.”

  Susie laughed again. “That’s why she talks so freakin’ loud.”

  “I swear my ears hurt when she’s on duty. They’re going to need to retire soon. You should talk to them about taking over the business,” Nora offered.

  “What?!” I yelped.

  Unfazed, Nora shrugged. “Why not? You’re already trained.”

  “I, um, I don’t know,” I sputtered.

  “If you decide to go for it, ask me for help,” Susie said.

  “Uh, okay?” I returned, uncertain of what she meant.

  Cammi smiled. “Susie’s an accountant. She’s also really good at helping you figure out the loans with the bank. She helped me buy this place.”

  My mouth dropped open as I looked from Cammi to Susie. Cammi slipped her arm over my shoulders and gave me a light squeeze. “It’s just a thought.”

  The mere idea of running my own business seemed so impossible I didn’t even know what to think. I didn’t know how to explain how crazy that idea was for me. I felt ridiculous for feeling like it was so ridiculous and even more ridiculous for the whole thing. I’d never had much of anything to call my own.

  “I haven’t even heard Ludie and Dan talking about retiring,” I finally said.

  Susie shrugged nonchalantly. “She’s not young. I’ll ask my mom. She’ll know.”

  “Your mom?”

  “Yeah, she’s friends with Ludie. Ludie’s even older than her.”

  “Your mom isn’t that old,” Nora offered dryly.

  “She’s sixty-four,” Susie replied. “And Ludie’s like eighty or something.”

  “She’s that old?” I prompted.

  Nora nodded. “Oh, for sure.”

  Anxiety tightened in my chest. Worry was a constant when you never had any stability in your childhood. Any threat of change warranted hours and hours upon hours and hours of concern. Emily had been less of a worrier than me but not by much, really.

  Susie leaned an elbow on the table, casting a smile at me. “I’m your girl. We’re going to find out the scoop and come up with a plan.”

  I nodded, and a timer sounded. Cammi jumped up. “Be right back. That’s dinner.”

  Daphne got up to help, and a few minutes later, they returned with several casserole pans filled with tamales.

  Only moments later, I took my first bite. “Oh, my god,” I moaned. “These are so good.”

  “I love making them. I made a batch for lunch today, and I made extra because I knew we were meeting tonight. I had to hide them from Flynn.”

  “He doesn’t even know?” Nora whisper-shouted across the table.

  Daphne grinned as she shook her head. “If any of the guys knew, they’d all be gone. Cat had to go into town for some appointments and errands, and that’s when I made them.”

  “Wow, I feel spoiled,” I commented.

  “Don’t. You have a standing dinner invitation with us every week.”

  “And you can come here anytime we get together. I’m not as organized, though,” Cammi said quickly.

  “You all don’t have to invite me to everything,” I heard myself saying.

  Daphne eyed me quizzically. “We want to,” she finally said. “We like you, Skylar.”

  My throat got tight. I didn’t know what to say, so I stuffed a bite of food in my mouth, relieved when the conversation moved along. I enjoyed listening to the chatter about people I didn’t even know and watching the light-hearted teasing amongst everyone. I eventually put together that Cammi, Nora, and Susie had grown up here. Risa had grown up outside of Anchorage, but her brother lived here. She moved down here and was married to the police chief. I’d seen him, but I hadn’t connected those dots yet.

  “So I better not get caught speeding,” I commented.

  “Oh, just stay under nine miles an hour over the limit,” Risa replied matter-of-factly.

  “What do you mean?” Susie chimed in.

  “The police don’t usually pull anyone over unless they go more than nine miles an hour over the speed limit. Well, unless you’re a repeat offender,” Risa offered with a shrug.

  “Wow, that’s good to know. I wonder if that’s the case everywhere,” I replied.

  Susie giggled. “That’s what I’ll set my cruise control on.”

  Daphne was new to the area, along with me. “How long have you been here?” I asked.

  “About two years.”

  “She was supposed to only stay for a month,” Nora offered with a grin. “But she fell for Flynn, and Flynn fell for her, and now they’re getting married. We are all grateful. He’s kind of a grump. That’s his baseline. Daphne brings his mood up significantly.”

  “Getting regular sex helps, I’m sure,” Susie offered dryly.

  “Oh, god. Don’t talk about my brother’s sex life,” Nora muttered.

  Daphne laughed.

  Just when I thought no one would ask any more questions about me, Nora looked at me, arching a brow. “So, Tucker?”

  “Are you talking to me?” I hedged. She nodded slowly. Daphne pressed her lips together, and I could tell she was trying not to laugh. “What are you talking about?”

  “You kissed him,” Nora said bluntly.

  My cheeks got fire hot. “What? How do you know?” I sputtered.

  “It was in the parking lot. Gabriel and I went out the back and saw you on the way over to my place.”

  “Oh, my god.” I leaned my face into my hands and took a deep breath. “Wow. I don’t even know how that happened. I’m gossip. It was just a kiss,” I finally said when I found the nerve to lift my head again.

  “Tucker is a really great guy,” Daphne offered.

  “I don’t know what I was thinking. I have no expectations, and I’m pretty sure he has no expectations from me. I won’t be kissing him again,” I said quickly.

  “We want him to have expectations,” Nora said, slapping her palm on the table.

  “Do tell,” Susie said. “I know Tucker, but I have no gossip about him, like none. That guy seriously flies under the radar around here, which is hard to do in Diamond Creek.”

  Since the kiss was already out there, I decided I didn’t need to hold back and was unabashed in my curiosity. “What do you know?”

  “Like everybody at the lodge, except for me, Daphne, Cat, and Grant, all the guys were together in the Air Force. They are tight, and Tucker is awesome. He doesn’t date, though. To be honest, I don’t even know if he gets any on the side. I asked Gabriel, and all he did was shrug, but those guys do keep secrets amongst themselves,” Nora explained.

  “I know they do,” Daphne said. “Flynn usually tells me everything though.”

  “Yeah, because he’s whipped,” Cammi piped up.

  Daphne rolled her eyes.

  “What else do you know about him?” I asked.

  “He has a younger sister. She’s a therapist. Both of his parents are alive, and he’s close with them. Flynn said something sad happened in high school, but I don’t have the details. I’m going to ask Tucker myself,” Daphne said, drumming her fingertips on the table.

  “The guys tell Daphne everything,” Nora commented. “They look at me as Flynn’s little sister, so they don’t do that with me.”

  “But Gabriel doesn’t,” Daphne teased.

  Nora’s cheeks flushed pink. “I tell you everything too, so get the scoop.”

  “I think you and Tucker would be good together,” Cammi said. “I’ve always liked him. He’s nice, but he’s pretty quiet.”

  “Elias is quiet,” Susie chimed in.

  “Yeah, but he’s also kind of broody. Tucker isn’t like that,” Cammi replied. “He’s just plain quiet.”

  “You know, you all aren’t helping me on the information front,” I pointed out.

  “Well, do you like him?” Susie asked.

  My heart thumped in my chest, and my breath got short for a moment. “I don’t know. I mean, yes, I guess,” I finally said, feeling way too flustered. Having chats about crushes wasn’t something I did, except with Emily. Who was dead. I took a shaky breath.

  “We need a new romance around here,” Susie said with a gleam in her eyes.

  Chapter Nine