“You bought that little whore of yours a ring, he’ll—”

  He curled his fingers into his palms, snarled and took a step closer to Ron. “Listen, you little fucker, you’re gonna turn around and walk away. I’ve had enough of your shit. You can say whatever you want about me, but you leave Landon out of it.”

  “I don’t—”

  “Ron,” Peaches stepped between them. “You come near my son or Zerk at any point in the future I’ll make sure you pay in every mortifying way I can devise starting with a restraining order served at your place of employment.”

  Horror turned Ron’s features slack and his perfectly tanned skin went ashen.

  “Maybe a harassment lawsuit, which wouldn’t go anywhere, but a judge would have to throw it out. Courts are full of frivolous lawsuits. So, you might think you can make my boys’ lives miserable because you’re a spoiled bitch although I can guarantee you don’t want to fuck with me. I have plenty of resources and not all of them are of the legal variety, do we understand each other?”

  He stood back and watched Peaches with a wary expression, he’d never seen that level of anger in her eyes before. Yea, he’d seen her pissed a few times. No this wasn’t Peaches, what disturbed him most was the cold, almost professional expression as her hazel eyes blazed. He turned a quick glance at Ron to find the man’s cheeks pink and he visibly swallowed, Ron took a few steps backward. Ron started to open his mouth.

  “Unless it’s an apology and promise to keep your narrow ass away I’d keep those lips closed,” Peaches warned.

  She stepped to the side and hugged his arm again, her beautiful smile back in place.

  “Why are you still here?”

  Ron couldn’t get away fast enough and he watched him until he disappeared at the end of the block.

  “Illegal activities?”

  She didn’t say a word until he steered them towards the shop.

  “I spent several years as a public defender before I quit to work with Gib, I made a few friends over that time. Some still owe me a few favors.”

  “You are truly terrifying.”

  “I fell in love with a heavily tattooed biker tattoo artist from the wrong side of the tracks and was disowned by family and friends. Then I raised an openly gay son in a community that is sometimes intolerant. I learned sweet only gets you so far before you gotta cut someone off at the knees.”

  “Vicious.”

  “You fucking know it.”

  “How did Gib propose?”

  “We’d been together about two years. One morning I woke up and he was watching me sleep, which was weird because I normally had to wake him up. Our schedules were a bit backward. He said he’d gotten me something and handed me this tiny bag. When I opened it inside was this beautiful ring, he just looked at me and raised his brows. I told him, fucking finally.”

  “He didn’t get down on one knee after a romantic dinner?”

  “Who needs all the clichéd trappings when the man you love gazes at you like you’re everything he’s always wanted. From minute one of meeting him, that’s what it felt like. I was his everything. A ring was just a symbol of it. Something to show the world I was his. I would still be living in sin with that man even without the ring or ceremony performed by a justice of the peace.”

  She laid her head against his bicep and they walked in silence back to the shop. When they arrived, Gib’s weathered face brightened with a smile and he opened his arms for his wife. She left his side and made her way to Gib taking her usual seat on his lap. He wondered if that would be him and Landon in thirty years still as in love. If he were lucky it would be and he dropped his head to hide his smile.

  He patted the ring box, then removed his jacket and hung it up. He had to have a plan. The proposal had to be perfect. He wasn’t going to fuck this up.

  18 What the Fuck is Zerk doing?

  This experience would fucking teach him to ask his mother for help with anything. He was about to rip his hair out and run screaming from the house.

  “You put too much Cinnamon in there,” Peaches screeched from his laptop.

  He was on a Skype call to get just a little help with Zerk’s favorite Cinnamon coffee cake. He slammed his fists onto his naked hips and spun sending the apron swinging around his bare thighs.

  “I put exactly the damn amount you told me too, woman.” He yelled back.

  “I was watching you and for fake Jesus sake, you need to wax your ass.”

  “My mother is not to comment on my ass and Zerk likes my ass as is.”

  Why couldn’t he be normal? Have an ordinary group of family and friends, but no he’d been cursed with the crazy and the proof was right here. He was naked except for an apron having his mother help him make his man coffee cake because Zerk said he been craving it. Great, he should commit himself now.

  “Then you shouldn’t have adopted my nude cooking habit and quit thinking about committing yourself. You do this every damn time we spend quality time cooking.”

  “I’m disconnecting.”

  “No you’re not or I’ll just come over, you can’t ruin my famous coffee cake that my favorite loves. I won’t have him getting food poisoning.”

  “You do know this isn’t normal?”

  “Fuck normal, who needs normal. If it was normal I would’ve married Edward Barstow the fourth and your ass wouldn’t be here because I would’ve killed myself to save myself the misery of faking orgasms for fifty miserable years in suburbia.”

  “I could’ve gone without knowing that.”

  “Then don’t push your luck or I’ll break out some more truth on your fuzzy ass. Doesn’t Zerk get a hairball going after—”

  “Hey, Hey, Hey, there will be no talk of rimming and you need to lay off the gay porn and hanging out with Lucky.”

  “He’s very informative. I never—”

  Landon screamed and only stopped when he heard Zerk’s booming laughter coming from the door that led in from the garage.

  He spun to stare at Zerk horrified. Oh, man, Zerk hadn’t experienced mother/son quality time yet. It was a part of Peaches and Landon time that he kept hidden and now the secret was out.

  “Hi, Zerk, how’s my favorite son? Landon is trying to poison—”

  He back up until he could reach his laptop and closed the lid to disconnect the video call.

  “Hi, you’re home early, how was your day?” Now he sounded like some demented housewife.

  “Not as exciting as yours,” Zerk answered as the corners of his mouth twitched.

  “If you even think about laughing I will poison you and Scary will help me hide the body.”

  “Wow, the love is strong with you today.” Zerk moved farther into the room and tossed his pack on the kitchen table. The big man walked over and gave his mouth a quick peck, then headed for the fridge. “Is that what I think it is?”

  “It’s supposed to be, but I fucked it up. I don’t think I put enough baking powder in it and Mom says I put too much cinnamon. You told me you were—”

  “I’m sure it’ll be perfect, what do ya have left?”

  “Just the eggs and milk, but it probably—”

  “Mix it and put it in the pan, I’m gonna jump in the shower.”

  “Okay,” He glanced skeptically at the havoc he’d caused in his kitchen. Flour was everywhere, yolk spilled from broken eggs turning crusty around the edges where they pooled on the counter and floor. It couldn’t even make a simple fucking cake.

  “Baby, stop,” Warm hairy arms circled him from behind. “Did I mention how sexy it was to come home to you wearing nothing but your Kiss the Cook apron?”

  “No, you failed to mention that.”

  “Well, it was.”

  Zerk’s soft, yet coarse beard teased the side of his neck.

  “Come here,” Zerk said and walked backward tugging him along.

  He let out an unmanly squeak as he always fell onto Zerk’s lap when the big man sat down. Rough hands turned him and he looked down into Zerk’s happy face. He’d put that there. Zerk wasn’t near as grumpy acting since he’d moved in.

  “What,” Landon asked. Zerk’s expression turned a bit pensive.

  “Do you want romantic dates? You know all the flowers and fancy restaurants.”

  “Why would I want all that when a night at Brawlers for beers is fine with me? Or my favorite pie at the diner or just cuddling you in our recliner.”

  “Do you love me?”

  “More than anything, where is this going?”

  “Listen, I love you, have for a long time, but never thought I’d be here. I just want to do everything right. Sometimes I think I’m gonna fuck up or wake up one day and you’re not gonna—”

  He stopped Zerk’s rambling with a kiss. “Shut up, I said I’m not going anywhere. We finally got this right and stopped pretending with the friends only bullshit. So, what is really on your mind—”

  Zerk leaned back and reached inside his jacket. “Well—” Zerk pulled out a black velvet box.

  “What the fuck is that?” He jumped up and pointed a shaking finger at the box.

  “If that look of horror is what I’m gonna get, fucking forget it.”

  “Shut up, what is it?”

  The lid clicked open and two simple black rings were tucked inside. Oh fuck, what is Zerk doing?

  “I know we never talked about the whole marriage thing. It might not even be what you want now or in the future, but I want you to wear my ring both this and inked. I know I’m fucking—”

  “Put it on,” he practically yelled and shoved his hand in Zerk’s face.

  “So that means you’re going to—”

  “If you don’t put the fucking ring on I’ll do it my damn self.”

  “That’s not exactly a yes.”

  “If you even dare smile you’ll go back to the guest room.”

  “No need to be mean.”

  He held his breath waiting for Zerk to slide the ring onto his finger. He didn’t know if he wanted the whole ceremony, but this—the ring was perfect. The cool metal settled at the base of his finger. He took the other one from the box and did the same for Zerk.

  “We’re having sex,” He announced and none too gentle dragged Zerk from the chair.

  “What about my cake?”

  “I’ll make it later or is the cake more—”

  He laughed as he was thrown over Zerk shoulder. Herc who’d laid quietly in the corner looked up at them, rolled his eyes and put his head back down. His arms twined around Zerk’s waist, slipped beneath the cotton of his shirt and palmed his belly, the hairs tickling the hollows between his fingers.

  Suddenly he flew back over Zerk’s shoulder and landed with several bounces on the soft mattress.

  “You are insanely sexy in nothing but that damn apron.” Zerk rumbled as he reached back to jerk his t-shirt over his head.

  He traced every inch of Zerk with a slow and steady gaze pausing when he got to the bulge pushing at the front of his jeans. He loved every inch of Zerk, but more than that he loved the man’s laughter and his grumpiness. It was not a get down on one knee proposal and he didn’t expect one. It didn’t matter because he thought it was perfect and was completely them.

  There was no need for candlelight and grand gestures, Zerk loved him and one day wanted to marry him. He planted his feet on the bed and lifted until he reached beneath him to untie the apron. Landon lowered his ass back down, raised his head and removed it.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Zerk’s voice filled with desire and love. The large man finished undressing and quickly covered Landon’s body.

  “Do you want this?”

  “I want nothing else. I’ve already told everyone.”

  “What about—”

  “Even your parents, Peaches came with to help. Tomorrow night there’s an engagement party at Brawlers.”

  He placed his hands against the thick hair on Zerk’s chest and pushed. Zerk rolled to his back and he straddled his hips. He looked down at Zerk.

  “Am I gonna have to put the house up for bail?”

  “We gonna talk or are we gonna fuck?”

  He didn’t answer just leaned forward and pushed his mouth to Zerk’s. Calloused hands were everywhere, sending pleasure through his body. He couldn’t get close enough. This was what he wanted and fuck if it didn’t suit anyone else. Zerk was everything and he was going to prove it, make the man believe it.

  19 What’s an Engagement Party without a Barfight?

  They’d lost track of shots and beer bottles were piling up. Landon had exceeded his yearly quota of fuck uttered. Lucky had pickpocketed a hand tally clicker Crave used to do head counts at the door. He laughed loudly as Lucky’s eyes widen as he checked it. Scary pulled a barstool up to the table and was sitting with his back to the wall.

  “We’re gonna need to cut the lightweight off, shit,” Scary snorted.

  Landon raised his hand slowly and started to lift his middle finger. He wrapped his arms around his man and held tight as Scary growled. He knew the massive man had a soft spot for Landon so he wasn’t worried.

  “Okay, okay, with Landon and Zerk being the first to slip into unholy matrimony I believe this deserves a toast,” Lucky announced and stood while everyone around him groaned.

  “Priest, control your animal,” Trouble looked at Priest with glassy eyes.

  Trouble wasn’t much of a drinker, but he’d been putting them away most of the night. Priest rarely drank so he volunteered as the designated driver. Good thing because most of them could barely see straight.

  “Oh no, I’m not claiming this one.”

  “You’re gonna break my wee shriveled—”

  “We don’t need to know about your dick,” Landon piped up and caused another round of loud guffaws.

  “You want me to prove my—”

  Priest grabbed Lucky’s hands, but Zerk took in the evil glint in their resident hyper hippie’s eyes.

  “Fine, I wouldn’t want to cause any dick envy, this night is about Zerk and Landon. So, fuck well, fuck often—”

  A body flew into Lucky and all hell broke loose as the bar erupted into a fight. Son of a bitch, Zerk surged to his feet and followed Trouble out of the booth.

  Priest moved farther into the booth to sit beside Landon. He hated crowd control especially when he’d had one too many, but the capacity crowd was more than a six-person security team could handle. He hissed as his fist connected with the first man who swung on him and after that it was one body after another. Some fell, some caused him to stagger and all the while he heard Landon above the crowd.

  “Motherfucker, I’m not bailing y’all asses out of jail.”

  He dared a glance over his shoulder to find Landon and Priest standing on the half-moon bench. His inattention earned him a sucker punch from a guy half his size.

  “Pay attention, Zerk, so embarrassing,” Landon chided.

  “You’re not helping, baby,” He hollered to be heard.

  “Sorry,” Landon so didn’t sound sorry.

  He swore his man was laughing at him. He backed up until he was once again in front of the booth.

  “Priest, handle him,” he ordered.

  “Oh no, I’m wondering what I’ll have to pawn of Lucky’s to afford his bail.”

  He caught sight of Scary who stood about a head above the rest of the crowd with a twink attached to his back and probably the twink’s boyfriend ineffectively landing blows to Scary’s stomach.

  “I’ll be back.”

  “Yes, Arnold.”

  “You’re so not funny.”

  “I’m fucking hilarious,” Landon snorted. “Watch Scary’s right hook and don’t come up in his blind spot.”

  “You’re having way too much fun.”

  He almost forgot Landon’s warning when he ducked a punch from Scary. It earned him a scowl as Scary shook off the tiny man on his back.

  The fight seemed to go on forever before someone yelled cops and it was like no one was covered in blood and tattered clothes. It was business as usual. The Twirled Crew returned to the booth and he noticed the Brawler crew regrouped on the opposite side. Scary and his business partner had their heads together as a cop approached them.

  He rolled his eyes as Landon’s arms twined around his neck and Landon rested his chin on the top of his head.

  “Scary is gonna be so cranky after this,” Landon whispered.

  “I think someone broke my fucking nose,” Trouble whined.

  “It’s fine, pretty boy, it’s not even bent, but let me see,” Lucky stepped in front of Trouble and set his thumbs on either side of Trouble’s bloody nose, then squeezed.

  “Motherfucker,” Trouble yelled.

  “It’s fine, shit, if it were broken it would give a bit more character. Too damn perfect.” Lucky was muttering to himself as he moved back to stand in front of Priest shielding him from the room.

  He leaned back into Landon and waited for the usual routine of them asking what happened here. Everyone would then say nothing and the pissed off cops would stake out the bar to catch someone for a DUI.

  “Have fun tonight,” he asked with a smile as he felt the vibration of Landon’s laughter.

  “Could’ve done without the bar fight, but it is a bar called Brawlers.”

  “We could’ve gone somewhere romantic just the two of us and me not gotten bruised ribs and a possible black eye.”

  “But you’re so sexy when you play bouncer.” Landon’s lips sucked lightly at the side of his neck. “I’ll reward you for your exceptional battle technique when we get home.”

  Arms twined around them and he looked to find Lucky staring at him with a gooey-eyed expression. It was way too creepy and he tried to shake the man off, but he held on tighter than a spider monkey.

  “I so want to be you two when I grow up, all in love and shit.”

  “You don’t have weed on you, do ya?”

  “Naw, I sprinkled that shit on the floor when cops got yelled. Dammit, and Mama got me the good shit this time.”

  They all snorted then started to groan when a grumpy cop walked their way.