‘Come on, Vogue, I’m not saying these things to hurt you.’

  ‘I know you’re not but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. I’ll see you back at the office.’

  With that, Vogue made her way to the exit. The last thing she needed in her life right now were disbelievers. Did Melissa really think Vogue was that naïve that she didn’t know the size of the mountain she had to climb? Vogue knew more than anyone how difficult the road ahead was. The only difference was that she believed in her dream – the one that had been born many years ago, and she wasn’t going to let go of it for anyone.

  Especially for someone who was scared of their own shadow.

  Chapter Twenty

  Amelia kept her hands on her lap under the table. She didn’t want Vogue to see them tremble. To know that she was vulnerable in her presence. That she had an effect on her like no one ever had.

  It was strange, sitting in her office alone with her. If Vogue was feeling the same, she didn’t show it. In fact, looking into her mesmerising eyes, all Amelia saw was a sense of calmness, nothing like the eruption taking place inside.

  Seeing all of the awards framed on the wall and the expensive custom-made leather furniture, made her feel on edge and out of place. To say Amelia felt slightly intimidated was an understatement. By Vogue’s obvious wealth, her confidence and her natural beauty. Every feature on her heart-shaped face was in perfect proportion, from her cute nose which curved ever so slightly at the tip, down to the deep dimples on her cheeks when she smiled. And what a killer smile she had.

  Not once had she ever seen Vogue have a bad hair day. Her blonde sleek hair always seemed too perfect. Even after she’d had a few drinks.

  As she sat waiting for Vogue to finish a phone call, Amelia wondered if it was the sexual attraction she felt towards her that was blowing her feelings for Vogue out of proportion. Under normal circumstances, by now she would have at least tried to make a move and let her feelings be known, verbally or physically. But fear stopped her from doing either.

  ‘You look deep in thought.’

  Amelia hadn’t realised Vogue had finished on the phone.

  ‘Do I?’

  Vogue nodded. ‘I take it you’re wondering what I wanted to see you about?’

  ‘I assume it’s about my work?’

  Vogue smiled. ‘That and to tell you we’re going to use your designs for our new outwear collection.’

  Amelia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She didn’t know whether to leap up off her chair and jump in the air screaming, or run around the desk and plant a whopping big kiss on Vogue’s sensual mouth. As neither response was appropriate, Amelia tempered down her excitement and asked, ‘Are you serious?’

  ‘Yes.’ There was a slight slur to Vogue’s words and a faint whiff of alcohol which made Amelia question her decision-making abilities at that moment in time.

  ‘But… do you really think my designs are good enough?’ Amelia said, voicing her fear out loud. The worst thing that could happen was for her to get a call from Vogue the next day, telling her she’d made a mistake. A drunken mistake.

  How many times had Amelia heard that one in her dating life? Too many to recall, especially in her early twenties.

  When Vogue replied, the words were said with such sincerity that Amelia felt stupid for doubting her.

  ‘Your work’s as good as anyone else’s I’ve seen. In fact, I’d go as far to say even better. You’ve got a unique talent, Amelia.’

  The sound of her name on Vogue’s lips made Amelia’s insides melt. What she wouldn’t have given to be able to kiss her right there and then. Just the thought of pressing her lips against Vogue’s, caused a frisson of excitement to explode throughout her body.

  This was not a normal reaction to have about someone that was totally out of her league.

  Fuck!!! Come on, get yourself together. I’m not her type. And this is exactly what I need to stop doing. Fantasising.

  She couldn’t do this. Couldn’t keep up this pretence.

  If Amelia was going to have any success in keeping her emotions under wrap, her self-control had to improve. Otherwise she was going to go insane. Each thought about Vogue brought on a highly arousing, pleasant sensation. How the hell was Amelia going to get her out of her head? She knew Vogue spent way too much time in it, and it was detrimental, not only to her mental health, but the way she interacted with Vogue. How was Amelia supposed to do her job if she couldn’t even look her boss in the eyes without wanting to do unthinkable things to her, with her? She couldn’t and that was the problem. Unless Amelia wanted Vogue to start thinking she had social anxiety, she needed to snap out of this and grow up. It was a simple crush, no more, no less but she was letting it affect her in a way it shouldn’t. It had to stop. For her own sake.

  ‘Thanks.’ Amelia forced herself to look straight at Vogue. Well, the space in-between her eyebrow area. To look directly into Vogue’s eyes would have been emotional suicide.

  ‘You don’t think you’re worth it, do you? You think I should use someone else’s designs. That’s why you don’t seem overly pleased with the opportunity you’ve been given.’

  Amelia’s body tensed. How the hell had Vogue managed to detect her imposter syndrome? Her mind raced as it tried to come up with a way to rebuff her assertion, but she failed miserably.

  ‘No, not at all. I mean, it’s good to know you’ve got such faith in me…’ Amelia’s words trailed off. She was busted. Vogue could see straight through her and if she lied, all it would do is instil a level of distrust in her. Concluding she had nothing to lose, Amelia took a deep breath and readied herself to tell Vogue something she had never said out loud before – to anyone. Once it was out in the open, there was no taking it back.

  ‘Yeah, you’re right. I guess I still feel like a little kid inside with an adult exterior. I’ve never really felt my work was good enough. Even at university, there was always someone else who got singled out for their outstanding achievements.’

  Vogue held her gaze. There were a million and one things Amelia could read into the way Vogue was staring back at her, but she was probably wrong on all counts. Amelia had tried to be open with Vogue, vulnerable to say the least, but Vogue hadn’t responded. The least she could have done was say a few words of encouragement.

  Feeling the size of an ant, Amelia jumped up suddenly. ‘I need to use the ladies’.’

  She could feel Vogue’s gaze on her back as she hurried out of the room. Once in the corridor, Amelia made her way to the ladies’ toilets. Well done, Amelia. You’ve engaged your mouth before your brain can tell you to shut the fuck up. And this was why she normally kept her thoughts and feelings to herself. No one could really understand the anxiety and turmoil that was hidden behind her smile. They just assumed because she was a healthy-looking woman, that was all there was to her. That she couldn’t possibly be suffering in silence.

  Little did they know.

  And now Vogue had seen a glimpse into her mind, she was probably wondering why she had hired her, and even worse, why she was going to let Amelia design her new collection. Amelia could just imagine Vogue in her office now, trying to figure out how to backtrack on her offer.

  One of these days I’ll learn, Amelia told herself, knowing full well she wouldn’t.

  Amelia didn’t know if she had the strength to go back out there and remain civil. The situation she found herself in was crazy. Cecile had warned her about Vogue, but she hadn’t thought the woman would be able to get into her head and heart this quickly, or at all.

  Amelia was still reeling from the suddenness of it all. The fireworks that exploded under her skin anytime she was near Vogue. The need and want to be close to her. To touch her. The playful sensuality in her eyes that felt like she was mentally undressing her.

  Just this morning while she was sat at the kitchen table drinking her coffee, Amelia had imagined what it would be like to be sat across from Vogue, talking about their plans for that day. She knew it was crazy. That she had to get a grip if she wanted to keep working at Styles, but it wasn’t as easy as turning it off like a switch. If it was, she would have done it from the time her feelings had started to overwhelm her.

  The worst thing was that she didn’t even have anyone to talk to about it. Cecile was normally her sounding board. The one she always turned to in her hour of need, but Amelia couldn’t even do that now. She daren’t tell any of her friends. They’d had just about enough of her dating stories.

  Dating! That’s it! What better way to take my mind off her than to go out on a date. Meet someone new.

  But that didn’t solve the immediate problem of finishing her meeting with Vogue, who by now must have been wondering what was taking her so long.

  She was going to have to come up with an excuse to cut their meeting short, and she needed to do it sharpish. Her heart pounded faster and faster as she made her way back to Vogue’s office. A quick intake of breath told her she couldn’t sit back down. She just couldn’t do it. Her legs felt like jelly as she walked in and held onto the table to support herself.

  Before Amelia could come out with the first excuse, Vogue was out of her seat and beside her.

  ‘You look a bit pale. Are you okay?’ Vogue said, slipping her arm around Amelia’s waist.

  Why would you do that? a voice screamed in Amelia’s head in response to Vogue’s touch.

  ‘Hey, you’re trembling.’

  You’re touching me! How could I not tremble? ‘I feel a bit sick, if I’m honest.’

  ‘You should’ve told me,’ Vogue said, her voice filled with concern.

  ‘It’s okay. I think I just need a bit of fresh air.’

  ‘Come on then, let’s go outside.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be fine by myself. You get back to work.’

  Vogue looked warily at her. ‘Okay but I want you to go home if you don’t feel any better.’

  Amelia let out a sigh of relief when Vogue released her.

  A few minutes after leaving Vogue’s office, Amelia’s fluttering pulse gradually resumed to a normal speed, but her world still felt off its axis.

  How the hell am I going to work with her if she keeps making me feel like this?

  Maybe it won’t be so bad, Amelia told herself as she sat down at her desk and tried to focus on the design she’d been sketching.

  I can’t believe this is happening to me.

  She buried her hands in her face in sheer frustration. When she looked up, the last person she expected to see was standing there. Nausea rose in her stomach for real this time. So much so that she nearly puked.

  The shadow of disappointment on Cecile’s face said it all.

  ‘You’ve fallen for Vogue, haven’t you?’

  There was nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. All Amelia could do was nod then bury her face in her hands again – this time in shame.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Melissa arrived back at the office but decided against going to see if Vogue wanted her to run any errands. She knew she was the last person Vogue wanted to see as Melissa had burst her bubble by telling her the truth. My version of the truth anyway. The real truth was that Amelia was Styles’ lifesaver. If Tina did take on the collection, there was a very good chance of Vogue regaining her solvency. Her house would also no longer be at risk.

  If Vogue managed to turn her adversity into a success, all of Melissa’s time and effort to destroy Vogue would have been wasted.

  After wandering around in the lobby for a few minutes, pretending to be busy on her phone while she tried to figure out what to do with herself, she decided there was no point going home. All she’d do is drink wine and veg out in front of the TV with a takeaway. She could be doing something much more productive with her time.

  Stuffing her phone into her pocket, Melissa walked decisively in the direction of the lift. Getting out on the second floor, she slowed her pace down as she reached the open-plan office. Though there were several people working at their desk or milling around near the photocopier, the atmosphere was sombre. Barely anyone spoke to each other or seemed to even acknowledge one another as they passed. It was a far cry from when Melissa had first started working there. Back then, Melissa was amazed to see staff members actually happy to arrive at work in the morning.

  The office had a feel-good factor that she hadn’t seen anywhere before. There was a closeness between them all. They were almost like family. Admittedly, she had felt a pang of jealousy at the way they would all sit around the conference room and finish each other’s sentences as they spent hours brainstorming new ideas, long after they should have left for the day. It was almost as if Styles was their home.

  But not anymore. Melissa had seen to that. It was right that Vogue’s employees should be wondering what was going to happen, because the next event was going to cost them their jobs.

  Looking around, Melissa saw Amelia at her desk, so totally engrossed in her work that she didn’t seem to notice as Melissa stood behind her, looking over her shoulder. After remaining silent for a few moments, Melissa moved to her side and perched on the edge of Amelia’s desk.

  ‘Looking good.’

  It took a few seconds for Amelia to glance up at her, and when she did, Melissa saw the glazed look in her eyes. The kind of look one got when nothing else in the world existed but the job at hand. She envied Amelia’s ability to lose herself in something she obviously loved doing. Not that Melissa hadn’t tried to at least develop one hobby, so she wasn’t always alone. Working in a homeless shelter meant she was surrounded by those less fortunate than her and she tried her best to meet their needs. But after years of neglect, she found it difficult to connect with vulnerable people who needed someone to be empathetic to their cause. Not that she wasn’t, she was whole-heartedly, but she couldn’t express her emotions, couldn’t reach them the way the other volunteers did, so in the end she gave up her spot for someone more suitable. Instead, she anonymously donated a large chunk of her wages at the end of each month. That way she was still of some use to the charity.

  ‘Your sketch I mean,’ Melissa said.

  Amelia gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. There was something about her that reminded Melissa of herself. Not fully broken but not whole either. She easily recognised the signs in other people who didn’t feel like they fit in. She knew the feeling all too well.

  ‘Oh right, yeah it’s okay.’

  ‘If I had your ideas and talent, I’d be a millionaire by now.’

  ‘It’s not that good,’ Amelia said with a wave of her hand.

  ‘You’re too modest.’ Now that Amelia seemed more relaxed and open, it was time to test the waters. If Melissa wanted to move things forward, she was going to have to take some risks. ‘So… I was wondering if you wanted to go out for a drink?’

  ‘With you?’

  ‘Yes, with me.’

  Melissa saw a cloud of doubt cross Amelia’s features. Had she got the timing wrong? Maybe it would have been better to suggest going out with Cecile too, so it was less full on.

  Just as Melissa was about to suggest Cecile joining them, Amelia said, ‘Sure, why not?’

  ‘Really?’ Melissa replied, taken aback by Amelia’s answer. She had seriously thought she’d blown it. ‘I mean, that’s great.’

  ‘Shall I meet you at BH1 after work?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Melissa got to her feet, not wanting to outstay her welcome. ‘See you then.’

  Melissa couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. Calm down idiot. She’s only agreed to go for a drink, nothing more. I’m sure if it had been Vogue asking her out, she would’ve been a lot more enthusiastic.

  Melissa wasn’t going to be too bothered about that. It was just a bump in the road. One that she would easily overcome once Styles had closed down. From then on, she’d never have to face competition with Vogue ever again. Especially when it came to Amelia.

  And I’ll finally get the girl.

  Melissa left the office with a spring in her step at the thought of seeing Vogue’s face on the day she finally got her just desserts.

  ***

  Two empty bottles of wine and three empty packets of crisps littered the table. BH1 was packed, so they’d been lucky to get the two seats at the back of the bar. Because the place was so busy, it meant on more than one occasion Melissa had to lean in close in order to be heard.

  Actual tears ran down Amelia’s cheeks as she struggled to keep her composure.

  ‘You’re kidding me, she actually threatened to strut down the catwalk in her birthday suit ’cause she didn’t have the outfit promised to her?’

  ‘As God is my witness, it’s true,’ Melissa said, referring to yet another story of models behaving badly at fashion shows she’d attended in the past.

  ‘That gets my vote for the most diva-like behaviour I’ve ever heard.’

  Melissa raised her glass in agreement and Amelia mirrored her actions. It felt so good being in Amelia’s company and having her full attention. If she was going to win at this game, she would have to play her cards right. She couldn’t be too pushy. From what Melissa had sussed out about her so far, Amelia was very insecure about herself. Not in an immature way. More so because she hadn’t found herself yet. She seemed to still be stuck in that in-between place where she relied on the outside world to define her, rather than just being herself. It was something Melissa had long suffered with, and it was only as she got older that she realised the outside world had no relevance to her true character. That’s why she had no social media accounts. The days of needing validation from an outside source were well and truly gone.

  ‘How’re you finding working at Styles?’ Melissa asked, looking for some common ground to have a more meaningful conversation. She wanted Amelia to trust her. To open up to her.

  Melissa didn’t miss the flicker in Amelia’s eyes at the mention of Styles. It could only mean one thing, but she prayed it wasn’t so.