His cousins shared a look and a moment later Damon was leaving, only to return with a full bottle and six glasses.

  After he had poured and handed out the glasses, Philip raised his in a toast. “Thank you, my friend,” he nodded to Amcaster. “And family. This may be my last night as a human and I am glad that I am sharing it with you.”

  Panic struck in his breast and his heart squeezed at those words, and Philip was truly frightened that he had made a bad situation much worse, but he had no other choice. He could not have allowed Antonia to give up her gifts, or very life, for him. He could not have lived with himself.

  “Simon, do you remember the shackles in the cells?”

  “Yes.”

  “Get them. If I am to change tonight, and for good, I want to do it out here, under the full moon. It might be the last time I am able to be outside.”

  When he returned, Simon brought their younger brothers, Lysander and Stefanos. It may take all of them to restrain him, but at least he had his family this last night under the stars.

  Antonia paced in the parlor, unable to sit or relax.

  None of the gentlemen were around and according to a footman, Lord Bentford had taken a bottle of brandy and several glasses and had gone off to either the orchard, garden or even the forest to await the moon.

  Philip likely wished to spend this night with his family as he waited to find out his fate.

  She still didn’t know if Gaia had accepted her sacrifice, or maybe it wouldn’t happen until midnight, when Philip usually changed.

  Would she drop dead at that time, or would her gifts be the only requirement?

  The parlor was closing in on her, as was the house. Further, the emotions from Philip’s family were nearly suffocating her.

  Antonia placed a hand against her heart and stepped out onto the terrace, then kept walking further and further until she reached the water and could no longer feel them.

  She would not miss the noise once the gift was taken. If she died, she would not miss much of anything.

  Unless Gaia made her keep the most unpleasant gift as a sacrifice and Antonia would readily accept it if it meant the spell had been reversed.

  But, just in case her death was imminent, Antonia sat to pray. She may have made a sacrifice to a goddess earlier, but her faith was still in God, who she worshiped nearly every Sunday. Witches could be Christians even if everyone thought they were in league with the devil.

  Antonia bowed her head and silently spoke from her heart asking for forgiveness of her sins, being thankful for blessings and gifts, then forgiveness for sacrificing to a goddess if that was a sin.

  Soon, her soul was at peace. She did not want to die yet it was the bargain she had struck.

  When she lifted her head, a calmness fell around her as she noted that the witches had joined her.

  “It nears midnight,” Petra said quietly.

  Antonia took the small timepiece that had been pinned inside of her gown and watched as the large hand reached twelve, and just as it did, a wolf howled in the distance.

  It hadn’t worked. None of it had worked and now Philip was going to suffer for the rest of his life.

  Tears filled her eyes as Antonia dropped to her knees. Sobs racked her body as she rocked back and forth. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. He was supposed to be cured.

  Pain engulfed her very soul, and Antonia wasn’t certain she’d ever recover, or ever forgive herself.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Philip remained in his clothing because tonight it did not matter, nor did he care for what he was wearing. Shackles had been attached to each wrist and ankle, just in case. His cousins and brothers were strong enough to control him, or so he assumed, but Amcaster was there to use magic if necessary and if he needed to be subdued or transported to the cells below the house.

  If Gaia accepted his sacrifice, then once he turned into a wolf, he would never be human again, so his clothing really didn’t matter anyway.

  Stefanos, the youngest at only eighteen, stood off to the side with a timepiece and Philip waited for the ringing and buzzing in his ears, and the dizziness, but it did not come, nor did any pain.

  “It is midnight?” he asked just as a wolf howled in the distance.

  “Yes.”

  “We will wait.”

  Which they did, and Philip was aware of everything within his being. A steady heartbeat, clear sounds of nature, and no pain.

  “It has been a quarter of an hour,” Stefanos said.

  “You didn’t change,” Simon stated the obvious.

  Which meant Antonia’s sacrifice had been accepted. In that moment, fear, stronger than anything he had ever experienced filled his being. What had she been forced to sacrifice?

  “Get these shackles off of me,” he barked.

  Simon struggled with the key in the rusty locks, just as he had when securing them, and Philip grew impatient.

  He glared at Amcaster. “Do something.”

  His friend rolled his eyes and with a wave of a hand, the shackles fell away.

  Philip then took off running through the garden. She was likely in the parlor with his family waiting to find out what happened, but Philip came to a halt when he saw the witches down by the water. It took him a moment to realize that it was Antonia who was on the ground, waves lapping at her skirt as she huddled and sobbed.

  Did she not know that her sacrifice had worked or was she suffering because of what she’d given.

  He slowly approached and called her name.

  “Go away,” came her muffled voice.

  Maybe the spell had been truly broken and she no longer wanted to have anything to do with him, which meant that whatever they’d been experiencing had not been real. Except, it was still real to him.

  Philip drew closer and knelt beside her. “Antonia, talk to me. Why do you cry so hard?”

  She stilled, then sniffed, before lifting her head and looking at him.

  She then placed a hand against his face. “Did you change?”

  He placed his hand over hers. “No.”

  The relief he saw in her eyes could be felt to the very bottom of his soul and before he could register what was happening, Antonia’s arms were around him and he nearly fell backwards.

  All Philip could do was laugh as joy filled his being. He was free and Antonia was alive.

  She pulled back. “I was afraid…I…when I heard the wolf howl, I thought…” Her eyes filled with tears again.

  “It was not me. Nor did anything change. The spell has been broken.”

  A sob broke and all Philip could assume was that Antonia had been carrying so much pain and worry within her and now that everything was over, she could finally let her emotions free.

  “Why don’t we go inside,” his mother said.

  Antonia ducked her head and in the full moon Philip could clearly see the rose bloom on her cheeks.

  He stood and reached out a hand to her. She took it and then frowned. “That spell is broken as well.”

  They no longer shared a link, but he did not miss it because he knew that what he was feeling was real. The only question, what was Antonia experiencing when they were near and when they touched?

  “Come along,” his mother called.

  “We should go in,” Philip said. He’d survived enough this night. If his heart was to be broken, he would rather it happened tomorrow.

  Antonia could barely put one foot in front of the other and if Philip had not kept a hand at the small of her back, she may have collapsed. The hand that at one time renewed her body and awakened her no longer did so. Yet, it was still a comfort.

  The spell had truly been broken and whatever had previously bound them to the other was gone.

  What did that mean?

  That was a stupid question. Now she would find out if what she had been experiencing was real.

  She glanced up at Philip from the corner of her eye. What she experienced in London still existed. His calming and quieting emotions nearly silenced everyone else. But was that all?

  No, her heart still warmed when she looked at him, and she longed to be held.

  But what if he did not feel the same.

  He always feared that there would be nothing after the spell, and that was the reason he refused to even kiss her. Had he known deep down that there could be no more than perhaps friendship?

  They stepped into the parlor and the happiness and relief from Philip’s family washed over Antonia. She grasped his arm to lessen the onslaught. It was not unpleasant, simply too much.

  He pulled her aside. “Your gifts still remain? I thought that was your sacrifice.”

  Antonia told him what she offered and the bargain she made if she kept the empathy.

  Pain filled his eyes.

  “I have lived like this my entire life, Philip. I can continue to do so.”

  “Just know that you always have my arm if it ever becomes too loud.”

  She smiled weakly. “Thank you.” However, what she wanted to ask was would she have it as a friend only, or something more.

  Petra pressed a glass of wine into Antonia’s hand. “It may have taken weeks, but we found the answer in the end.”

  “You did,” Antonia corrected and lifted her glass in celebration before she took a sip. Had Petra not decided to read the tomes of mythology, Philip likely would have turned tonight.

  “You are exhausted,” Philip whispered in her ear.

  “How can you not be?” she asked.

  “I think it comes from the elation that I will never be a wolf again.”

  She was truly happy for him, but her entire being was exhausted. One would think that she hadn’t slept in days. Then again, these last nights had not been an easy sleep because she had suffered nightmares. Had she not been holding Philip’s hand, she might not have slept at all.

  And today had taken quite a bit out of her.

  Antonia let out a sigh.

  “Go to bed,” he said.

  All she could do was manage a nod and set the glass aside.

  As she climbed the stairs to her chamber, Antonia waited for the emptiness and her soul to begin to ache because she was too far away from Philip, but it did not. Nor had it after she’d made her sacrifice to Gaia.

  When she reached her chamber, Antonia closed the door then prepared for bed before she crawled beneath the covers.

  She would miss sleeping with Philip. It was a comfort that had nothing to do with the magic that connected them.

  But this was for the best, she reminded herself, and hoped that she was correct and then closed her eyes, hoping for finally a peaceful night’s sleep.

  She woke sometime later by a dip in the bed and became alarmed until she realized it was Philip.

  “Why are you here?”

  “I have become accustomed to sleeping with you.”

  As had she. “That does not make it right. The spell is broken.”

  He settled with his back to hers and reached out a hand. “They don’t need to know that, yet.”

  Antonia smiled and slipped her hand into his.

  “I am going to kiss you tomorrow,” Philip said into the darkness.

  “You don’t want to kiss me now?” she asked.

  “I do not dare kiss you in your bed, Antonia. That would be by far the most dangerous thing we have done.”

  That made absolutely no sense to her. It was a brushing of lips, not a forbidden magical spell.

  “I do not understand,” she finally said.

  “You will tomorrow. Trust me in that.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Philip had barely slept. He would like to claim that it had been a mistake to have gone to Antonia’s room, but that would be a lie.

  He did not need to be there for any empty aching need inside. He simply wanted to be near her.

  A part of it was because he wasn’t certain what she thought of him. Had she asked him to leave, then he would have known that his love was not returned. Instead, they slept as they had previously, except it had been bloody uncomfortable. How had he slept so many nights with his back to hers, just holding her hand? Never would he sleep with her that way again.

  It hadn’t bothered him before because of the spell and what they were facing and what they feared. With all that wiped away, he simply wanted her.

  The question remaining was if Antonia would have him.

  When she entered the breakfast room and met his eyes, a small shy smile played upon her lips as she blushed.

  She would not look at him in such a manner if she only wanted friendship between them and hopefully, she was thinking about the kiss that he had mentioned.

  As soon as she was done breaking her fast, the first thing Philip was going to do was take her into the gardens, away from everyone and kiss her thoroughly, and then decide how long they would court.

  “Has your path been decided?” Cassian asked as he took a seat beside Philip. “Remember what the Romani said. I certainly believe her now since everything else has come true.”

  Philip had nearly forgotten the visit and the reading he had received from Madam Boswell’s great-niece when she had told him that he would undergo several changes before the full moon.

  He also recalled her last words: Not until the full moon will your mate be determined, if there is to be one. She had also said that Not until the sun rises the next day will you know your path.

  Philip glanced to where Antonia had taken a seat beside Lady Samantha and smiled.

  She no longer felt the need to be right beside him, nor did he feel the same for her, and Philip did not mind that she was farther away because it allowed him to study her expressions and simply enjoy her beauty.

  “Your fate!” Cassian prompted.

  “I intend to learn what that is after I have broken my fast.”

  As Antonia finished the last of her meal and placed her fork to the side of the plate, Philip rose from his chair and approached. “Lady Antonia, would you please walk with me.”

  She had never blushed so much in his presence as she had today. “I would enjoy that very much, Lord Chedworth.”

  He helped her from the chair and then offered his arm.

  Calming and anticipation filled her.

  “Your aura has improved,” she observed. “No more murky white nor dark yellow.”

  He chuckled. “What is it today?”

  “It is orange, which is joyful, happy.”

  “I am that.” He smiled.

  “And light yellow, hope.”

  “Once again, Antonia, you read me correctly.” Then he frowned. “Is there a third one? Because I am done going through changes.”

  This time she laughed. “Only the two.” Both positive and she drew on his emotions as they helped calm some of the nervousness she carried.

  “There are some things that I must know, now that the spell no longer controls us.”

  Antonia supposed that she did as well.

  “What was between us was powerful.”

  “I know.”

  “No. The pull, that need, whatever it was that overrode reason is gone. Is it for you?”

  “Yes, it disappeared at midnight.”

  He blew out a sigh. “Good.”

  “Why is that good?”

  “Because we need to know who we are without the spell.”

  She swallowed against a tightening throat. “What are we?”

  He took her hand in his. “Antonia, I wanted to court you in London, but you did not allow me to do so.”

  “I explained.”

  He placed a finger against her lips. “I do understand, now. I wish I would have then.”

  All she could do was nod, but how was she to know that it wouldn’t have scared him away?

  “It defied reason why I was drawn to you and continued to ask you to waltz and pursue you even when you were never home to me, would only grant a non-supper dance and then run away. The only time that we ever had any conversations was when I came across you in Hyde Park. Any other gentleman would have given up and dismissed any possibility that there could be a courtship, except me.”

  “But you did,” she reminded him of that last night in the garden.

  “I regretted that decision after I had returned home, but then you were gone.”

  “We left London. I was tired of enduring it.”

  “Do you know what all this tells me?”

  “What?”

  “That there was something there before.”

  “There was,” she agreed. “There must be a reason why you are the only person I have ever met that could silence the noise. I looked forward to seeing you at each ball, and it wasn’t just for what you could do, but my heart also filled when you were near, and I couldn’t wait to be in your arms when we waltzed.” These were things she had been afraid to admit to herself.

  “However, after what we have been through, I think we should let all that settle before we fully decide what we are.”

  Her heart sank again. This is what she had feared. Had he reconsidered after sleeping with her again last night?

  “I want to court you, as I had wanted to do in London.”

  “But I am leaving in a few days.”

  “Stay,” he said. “Or I will go with you.”

  She looked up into his eyes, a warmth and longing filled her, much different than when they were under the spell. “I will stay.”

  Philip nodded just before he brought his lips to hers.

  It was so gentle and not what she had expected. Though in truth, Antonia had no idea what the experience would be like because she’d never been kissed before. However, the gentle press of his lips to hers before he pulled away did not explain why it would have been so dangerous had he kissed her last night.

  “That was nice,” she said.

  “Oh, Antonia. That was just the beginning.”

  Before she could question him, Philip was kissing her again, but this time with more force, but not unpleasant. He pulled away just for a moment, and she sucked in a breath, but before she could close her lips again, Philip was kissing her, except this time deeper.