“You building some sort of time machine?” A slight smile appeared.

  “I wish.”

  “If anyone could, I’d put my money on you.” He moved our hands so he could squeeze mine. “Theo, I love you and I know you love me. But I don’t know…. It feels like we’re thirty and dealing with the real world instead of being high school juniors and supposedly having it a little easier.” I didn’t like where it sounded like he was headed. “You’re crazy talented. I can’t ask you to stop. I know it’s work, but you enjoy it—at least most of the time I think you do.” He sighed. “I need to focus on the time we get and not bitch so much about the rest.”

  I quietly released the breath I’d been holding. I didn’t want to break up with him.

  “Yes, I love you,” I said, holding his gaze. “I’m crazy for you. I need to hold back less. I need to tell you when work’s going crazy and you need to tell me when you’re feeling ignored.”

  “I’m sorry I was—”

  “No. Don’t apologize.” I looked at the cups in front of us. “What do you say we take Iris her coffee and then duck out of here?”

  “Are you sure? I know you want to support the team. If I was injured, I’d want to be there for my guys. It’s only another half hour or so.”

  He knew me so well. I wanted to leave, but here was important too.

  “Let’s get back in there, then,” he said.

  We picked up the drinks and returned to our seats. The Tigers delivered a four to three win, and we cheered loudly in the third period as Skyler, our goalie, stood on his head to keep the opponent from scoring during their end-of-game onslaught seeking a tie.

  Iris sent us on our way after the game. She said if Mitch had issues because we left, she’d give him hell for it. I had no doubt she would, but I knew Mitch would understand.

  It didn’t take long for us to pull up in front of Eddie’s house in his Jeep. The house was dark. We hopped out, and he grabbed my hand when I came around the front and met up with him.

  “The stars are amazing.” He gestured, with his head, up to the sky. “It’s like super clear tonight. Wish it was warmer so we could stay outside, settle into the hammock in the backyard or something.”

  “I’m game if you are.” I knew he tended to be colder than me. I think being on the ice so much upped my tolerance for cold, as opposed to his time in heated pools.

  His look said I might be crazy, but he nodded and then broke into a grin. “Come on.”

  When we entered the house, my watch pulsed, but since Eddie held my hand, I couldn’t easily take a look. Why would one of my alarms be going off here? Eddie didn’t have tech that would do that. I’d examined what was here once, and it was basic consumer stuff. I even made sure to recheck every few months because I came over so often. It had to be a glitch. Maybe something didn’t transfer into my new phone right.

  “I’m gonna run up and grab the blanket from my bed. Be right back.” We shared a quick kiss.

  The watch continued to pulse every few seconds, and the word icing showed on the face. Just like when Dean tried and that time after the swim meet. I pulled my phone and dismissed the message from the home screen. I debated powering it off, but I couldn’t. I had to be mostly available.

  Looking at the security log, I found something pinging the phone from an unknown source. The IP wasn’t one I recognized from the local cable company. I flipped over to a security app I’d designed with TOS and set it to isolate what was coming from the signal. The app would quarantine what it received, run some limited analysis, and send logs to the TOS repository for further study. It could be nothing more than someone screwing around to see what they could find. It didn’t seem directed at my device specifically.

  “Take this outside and get yourself comfortable. I’m gonna get the heater from the garage. It’ll give us a little bit of warmth.”

  “Hang on a second. Can I see your phone?”

  He wrinkled his brow at my non sequitur, but pulled it from his pocket, unlocked it with his thumb, and handed it over. “What’s up?”

  “The security on my phone went off when we walked in. I want to see if your phone is affected too.”

  “Um, okay.” He shook his head but smiled. “Sometimes I think you might be too smart for your own good. I’ll be back in a second.” He laid the blanket over the stair rail before he darted to the garage.

  I used my phone to examine his. No surprise that he was on the Wi-Fi, which was unimaginatively named by his father as Cochrane Family. I’d encouraged them to not make it so obvious, but at least they kept it secure. I was on the public cell network. Moving quickly, I established that Eddie’s phone was receiving the same signal. Like mine, his phone didn’t seem adversely affected, so I did a quick adjustment to block the signal.

  “Everything okay?” Eddie held the small black heater in his hand along with an extension cord.

  “I guess.” I handed his phone back. “I blocked it from your phone and….” My watch pulsed, and I looked to find the all-clear message. “Well, whatever it was is gone.” The security app scans showed nothing. “I saved some details that I can analyze and see if I can figure out what it was. Let’s go.”

  I grabbed the blanket and headed through the house to the sliding glass door in the living room. We went outside, and Eddie paused for a moment to plug in the cord. At the hammock, which was stretched across a metal frame, he put the heater on the adjacent table.

  I got in first and moved far to the left to keep my shoulder protected, and then he climbed in. We’d been in this hammock enough that we didn’t have to jostle to find the right positions; we fit easily together and my injury didn’t change that. It was weird being in so many clothes, though. We usually only did this in the summer when we were in T-shirts and shorts—and sometimes just shorts.

  The mix of the chilled night air, with the heat that blew across us, made a cozy environment. We leaned toward each other. Normally we’d hold each other closer, but even with my left arm restrained—and jammed between us—we still managed to make it so we could kiss. Eddie stabilized me by having his hand at my waist. I ached to hug him, but was still more than satisfied with the closeness.

  As was usually the case, we could only stay this way for fifteen or twenty minutes before the arms we trapped under us were prickly from being put to sleep. With a grunt from me, we broke the kisses and moved into our other standard position—Eddie’s arm extended behind me to allow me to use his chest as a pillow. I was still sort of on my side, but the pressure was off my right arm, and I snuggled up next to him in one of my favorite positions.

  “This is perfect,” Eddie said quietly, like he might be worried he’d disturb the atmosphere we’d created.

  I gave a contented sigh. “Yeah.”

  “Ooh. I can make it more perfect.” Eddie shifted gently and dug into his jacket pocket.

  “Yes! I forgot you had those.”

  “Got ’em.” He pulled the bag of cookies out and held it aloft. He seemed unsure how to proceed.

  “Use my arm for something.” The sling held my arm close to my body and made my arm a pretty decent ledge the way we were positioned. It was the best option since he only had one arm free.

  It worked perfectly, if you didn’t count the crumbs that fell between us. He gave me a bite of cookie before he took a bite too.

  “It’s awkward, but it works if you don’t move and knock the other cookie off.”

  “I think I can manage.” I smiled as he took another bite.

  It was usually before or after a make-out session that we snuggled. If we watched TV, we were usually sitting up, albeit close. Eddie’d mentioned that our relationship sometimes felt like we were adults. I wasn’t sure this was an adult thing, but this was a flash-forward on our future—cuddled up, enjoying each other’s company, either talking or in silence, with the shared connection that a couple has. Mom and Dad did this sometimes, probably not often enough. I’d see them together on a couch, maybe reading or chatting. I wanted that, and I enjoyed this glimpse of what we could be doing in a few years.

  “You okay?” I hadn’t realized I’d drifted away until he spoke. I bit off some cookie he offered and chewed as I nodded.

  “Yeah,” I finally said. “It’d be nice to end days like this more often. Maybe we move in together when we go to college?”

  I’m not sure I meant to say that. It might’ve been too much, but it was out there now.

  “That’d be cool.” Eddie didn’t miss a beat. “Do you worry that we’d never get anything done because we’d always be like this?”

  I chuckled. “We’d sure want to be like this.”

  “For sure.”

  We munched on the cookies, made out, and stayed snuggled until close to midnight. Leaving sucked, but this wasn’t our reality yet. It sure seemed like it could be, though.

  Thirty-Four

  Saturday, two weeks after the competition, I was back at TOS headquarters. Dad came along this time to take care of some business. I dressed less formally this time with a sport coat over a T-shirt. Lorenzo wore this a lot and it fit my style more than a dress shirt and tie. My slinged arm was under the jacket so that I could easily remove the top layer if I wanted.

  It was difficult to be gone for part of another weekend. Eddie’s swim meet was under way. At least Mitch and Iris were there to make sure the team had support. Eddie was disappointed that Dad was taking me to see his parents—a good cover story since they lived only a couple of hours from Boston. Luckily Eddie had perked up when I said it was only a day trip, and I’d be back in time to see him tonight.

  I’d spent the morning with Raptor, TOS’s director, and Joanna to debrief further on what had gone down at the competition. Granted, I could’ve done the meetings on video chat, but I also wanted to see Lorenzo in person. With my injury, we’d delayed my transition to taking over portions of Keys’s duties. However, those days had given me more time to think.

  Every time I thought about having a staff, even one I wouldn’t be responsible for sending out in the field, I got butterflies. The more I tried to tell myself it would be okay, the more the butterflies swarmed. I’d guided the computer-science team, and that didn’t turn out too bad, at least in terms of the actual objectives of the competition.

  I’d talked to Mom, Dad, and Shields about the causalities and injuries. In particular I was disturbed that I wasn’t feeling too bad about them. It was sad that Chet died and that Cullen’s wrist was badly damaged, but neither incident weighed on me as much as I thought it should.

  All of them essentially gave the same advice: Over time you learn that you can’t take responsibility for what you can’t control. You can still have empathy for the situation, and help the people involved, but you have to give yourself permission to not let it eat you up inside.

  It some ways it seemed cold, especially on first consideration. But it didn’t take long for it to make sense. If you beat yourself up too much over what you can’t control, it’s a sure way to burn out or worse.

  Lorenzo’s door was open when I arrived so I knocked on the frame. He looked over from the screen he was reading. He smiled, more broadly than I’d seen in a few days, but it disappeared when I didn’t return one.

  “Uh-oh, was the debrief okay?” he asked, turning his chair so he directly faced me. “Have a seat.”

  I entered and closed the door since this needed to be private. I dropped into one of the chairs across from him. The butterflies were awful, worse than when I’d been here for Keys’s wake. I shouldn’t be nervous talking to Lorenzo about anything, but this time out I thought the nerves might make me throw up. I tried to keep the anxiety contained so he wouldn’t catch on. So far, I wasn’t doing a great job with managing my mood.

  “Yeah, the meeting was good. Recapped everything I knew and discussed Dean’s part in depth because they were curious about him. They’re actually going to try to get him more college funds so he can get into a better school, which is great. They were pleased with how I managed everything.”

  “Of course they were,” Lorenzo said. He was obviously trying to get me to be more upbeat. But the longer I sat here the more my insides were going crazy. “What aren’t you telling me? There’s nothing—”

  “I don’t think I can take the promotion.” The words spilled out of my mouth so fast. It was like opening a shaken soda can.

  His expression stayed calm with no trace of disappointment or anger.

  “Or, rather, I don’t think I should take it,” I said quietly.

  He nodded slowly.

  “I’m sorry I said yes in the first place,” I said, wanting him to have the whole story. “I’m really honored you think I can do the job. And I think I’d do okay, but it’s not the right time. You need someone who can be available, and not just for the duration of a mission, but always a phone call away. That’s not possible for me right now. The more I thought about it, especially after this”—I gently gestured with my slinged arm—“along with the fact that, well, I think I need time to….”

  “Be a kid?” he asked tentatively.

  I sighed because part of me hated admitting this. “Yeah.”

  “Theo, it’s okay to admit that. You’ve got a lot of skills, but you are still a teenager. This isn’t TV—like Doogie Howser or Sheldon Cooper where the boy geniuses are out of college and working. It was wrong of me to even ask.”

  Tension in my shoulders and chest relaxed, like a rubber band being gently released. “I’m still really thankful you thought enough of me to want me to do it.”

  “Still.” He shook his head. “I told you before that it’s so easy to forget how old you are. Looking back, I was too eager to get someone into the job, and you’ve got all the technical qualifications. I had no reservations about asking you. I think my enthusiasm for bringing you into it clouded Joanna’s judgment too. She did ask a couple of times if I thought it was completely the right choice, and I kept saying yes.”

  “Thanks for not being mad,” I said along with a small smile.

  “I’m not.” He leaned forward and locked his gaze on mine. “This is the right choice. I was actually trying to figure out how to ask you one more time if you were sure you wanted the job. I didn’t want to take it back, but the idea of you burning out crossed my mind more than once. That’s the last thing I’d want. Plus, your parents would come after me if I let that happen, and I do not want on their bad side.”

  He raised his eyebrows and made a hint of a smile. It was a perfect move and helped prove that he was okay even while I struggled with expectations of myself.

  “Why would you be worried about Mom and Dad?” I tried to move the conversation elsewhere.

  “I know what they’re capable of. The last thing I’d want is for that to be unleashed on me.”

  I knew too. I’d helped on enough of their missions to know you didn’t mess with them.

  “I’ll still consult on anything you need in addition to my regular assignments.”

  He nodded. “Look, we’ve worked together long enough that you’ve got nothing to prove to me. I can see you’re beating yourself up over turning this down.”

  I nodded. “And you know how to read me too.” I gave a nervous laugh. “For what it’s worth, I’m talking to Shields about the expectations I set for myself. She’s used the word burnout with me too.”

  “Good. I want you around here for a good long time.”

  “What do we do about the team meeting?” I asked. We were supposed to meet with Keys’s former team today to talk about me coming in.

  “We’ll let them know about the change of plan, take questions, and move on from there. I’m not worried and you shouldn’t be either. You’re a respected part of the team, and you’re recovering from field work. This will be fine.”

  We left his office and headed for the conference room. The butterflies were back with a vengeance. Lorenzo had been okay with my choice, but what would the team think of the change of plan?

  The team was already gathered and mostly standing and chatting with each other. It wasn’t completely a stereotypical meeting of computer geeks. Sure there were a lot of black T-shirts, hoodies, and glasses, but there were many colorful personal style choices.

  Along the sides of the room, monitors were set up to display staff that were either deployed on assignment or simply couldn’t get here. In all there were twelve on the team, and only one was missing due to an assignment in progress.

  Lorenzo took the chair at the head of the table and indicated an adjacent open chair for me. The staff immediately settled as we sat.

  “Thank you all for taking a few minutes to gather, especially on a Saturday,” Lorenzo said. “We’ve had a change of plan. After some reconsideration, I’ve decided to fully manage the team for now. While Theo has the skills”—he gestured my way—“tasking someone who is still in high school with the responsibilities was probably not my best idea. We want Theo to complete high school and college successfully so he’ll be ready to give his full attention to his work here.”

  Holy crap. I didn’t expect him to take the full responsibility for the change. Since it was my choice I was willing to own that to this team. Still, it was great he was doing this. I decided to not speak up since it wouldn’t look good for either of us to contradict him.

  “Joanna and I will be looking for candidates to fill this role,” Lorenzo continued. “In the meantime, I’ll continue to lead and rely on each of you to keep current projects moving and to speak up if you see anything that needs attention. Are there any questions about this change or anything else?”

  “Theo, how’s your shoulder?” Jenna asked from the opposite end of the table.

  I chuckled. “Pretty useless. Working with only one hand isn’t easy. Unfortunately I had a scuffle at school last week and it pulled the wound open, so that was a setback.”

  She nodded. “The amount of typing we do, I can’t imagine having to do it with one hand. I hope it heals up soon.”