She had never felt this kind of anger, jealousy, or possessiveness before. “You are nothing but a lying whore trying to get between Jacks and me.”

  Laura looked over at Jacks, and when she looked at Tanner again there was this blank expression on her face. “Screw this. You’re one crazy bitch, and I hope he fucking breaks your heart.” Laura went to move past them, but Jacks’ voice stopped her.

  “Pack up your shit and leave the tour. We don’t need this kind of drama bullshit.”

  Luckily Laura was smart enough to keep her mouth shut. She turned and stormed out of the room and slammed the door closed hard enough that the pictures on the wall shook. There was a moment of silence that filled the room as they all looked at each other.

  “Well, damn. If that doesn’t wake someone’s ass up I don’t know what will,” Beats said and stood. He stretched and scratched his jaw.

  Despite all the drama that had just happened Tanner couldn’t help but think of what Zoe told her about her and Beats.

  “Everything good now?” He phrased it as a question, but didn’t wait for a response. He turned and headed out of the master suite, and a few minutes later Matty followed suit.

  When it was just her and Jacks left in the room they stared at each other for a few seconds. Her hand still throbbed, and she looked down at it. Already it was starting to swell and was an angry shade of red.

  “Come on, let’s get some ice on that.” He moved toward her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, but for a few moments he just held her. “You are one fierce chick, baby.”

  She elbowed him in the ribs good naturedly, but was smiling.

  “If I’m being honest, it turned me on seeing you put Laura in her place.” He cupped her cheek and leaned down to kiss her before she could answer. He pulled back and looked into her eyes, but was still close enough that she felt his lips touching hers. “God, I love you so fucking much, Tanner.”

  He kissed her once more, and it felt like long, drugging seconds before he pulled back. He held her around the shoulders still and led her to the kitchen on the other side of the room.

  Beer and liquor bottles were scattered on the floor, as well as random pieces of clothing, cigarette butts and roaches, and some other less favorable things like used condoms. Jacks broke away from her and went to the small freezer and grabbed an icepack, and then grabbed a dishtowel that was on the counter.

  When he was back in front of her again he placed the rag covered bag on her knuckles gently and stared into her face. “You’re okay?”

  She looked down at her hand and nodded. “Yeah. I honestly don’t know what came over me.”

  He placed his finger under her chin and tilted her head back so she could look at him. “That shit was building since before you even joined the tour, and only got worse the last week. Laura has issues, and her being around the band is not good for anyone.”

  “She’s a bitch, no doubt about that, but I thought she didn’t have anywhere else to go?”

  Jacks shrugged. “Not my issue or the band’s. She brought this on herself, and this was coming anyway. Several of the roadies have talked to her dad, and I know for damn sure he’s spoken to her about her causing trouble.

  Before you, she was starting crap with others, so don’t feel sorry for her. She is trouble, and the only reason she was on this tour was because her dad is a good guy and asked us for a favor.”

  The sound of the hotel room door opening had them both turning around. Five walked in a little bleary eyed. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and his physique and tattoos were just as impressive as Jacks’.

  It was the fact that he was only in a pair of boxers, and that his junk was hanging out in all its glory that had Tanner covering her mouth and glancing over at Jacks with suppressed amusement.

  “I know I missed drama.” Five grinned and lifted his hand to scrub it over his hair, making it have even a more bedhead look.

  Jacks started chuckling. “Dude, your dick is totally hanging out. Go back to your room.”

  Five glanced down at said body part, tucked himself back in, and turned around to leave, grumbling all the way. When the door shut behind him there was this weird moment of silence.

  “How many piercings does he actually have down there?” She had seen more than one, but she had looked away as soon as she realized it was Five’s penis all out in the open like that.

  “Baby, you don’t even want to know. Five is way more freaky than he was back in the day, and so are Matty and Beats for that matter.”

  All she could do was shake her head. She wanted to talk to him about Beats and Zoe, but she knew her friend didn’t want her business all put out in the open like that. If Zoe wanted the others to know what had happened with her and Beats, then she would be the one to tell them.

  As it was, Tanner assumed Beats hadn’t said anything to Jacks since he didn’t say anything about it to her. But maybe he felt the same way she did about blurting out someone else’s business like that?

  “Baby, you’re in my life now for good, and it is going to be one hell of a ride.” He leaned down and kissed her softly. “Hang on tight.” He murmured against her lips, and she couldn’t help but grin.

  Yeah, it was definitely going to be one she wouldn’t forget, or regret.

  18

  Beats sat on the bed in his hotel room and stared at his cell. He drummed his fingers on the mattress, tapped his foot on the floor, and knew that what he should do was just leave Zoe alone.

  She hadn’t tried to contact him this whole time, and although he had sent a few texts to her, the responses had been short, yet friendly.

  He had hurt her, he knew that, and although that had not been his intention, the effect had still been the same. He picked up his phone and pressed all but one of the numbers to call her. But what could he say? How would he make this situation right? Did it even matter?

  He shook his head. Yes, it did matter, because he cared about her, and he wanted her in his life more than anything. He dialed that last number and brought the phone to his ear. It rang, and rang, and rang for the third time, and when the voicemail kicked on he was tempted to hang up.

  But he didn’t, and when there was that beep for him to spill his heart out to her, he did just that.

  “Zoe, I don’t know what to say that I haven’t typed out and deleted a hundred times before. I’d rather talk to you face-to-face, but until we can do that—if we can do that.” He closed his eyes and breathed deeply before he continued. He picked at the frayed edge of his pant leg. “Please, call me back so we can talk.” He disconnected the call and grabbed his headphones.

  After plugging them into his phone, and slipping them over his head, he put on “Frank Sinatra” by Cake, and leaned back on the bed. It was up to her if she reached out this time, but Beats didn’t know if he’d be able to stay away now that he forced himself not to ignore what he felt for her.

  Zoe listened to the voicemail from Beats for the third time, and was forcing herself not to cry. She was done talking, done worrying about what she could have with Beats, and was just ready to move on.

  Maybe things had never fallen into place because it just wasn’t meant to be. There was a plethora of emotions moving through her, but anger was the fiercest one of all. Since she left him in the room after the kiss, all she had been trying to do was put it behind her and move forward.

  But then he had been texting her, and she had tried to act as though nothing was wrong.

  It was hard though, and all she had wanted to do was call him, hear his voice, and tell him that she wanted so much more. She set her phone down and wrapped the towel around her body tighter.

  Life moved on, and that was what she wanted to do. She didn’t want to rehash what had happened in his hotel room, didn’t want to hear him say how he saw her as a little sister.

  Her fingers itched to pick the phone up again and call him, but she didn’t, because they both just needed to focus on other things, and what would never happen between them. She picked up the phone, went to his voicemail, and deleted it.

  Doing that hurt, but she couldn’t dwell on things, and needed to find happiness with someone who wanted to share that with her, too.

  Epilogue

  After the tour

  They all sat in the basement of Jacks’ home. He’d bought a small piece of land in Brookstone, and although he spent a lot of his time in California, where the record label he was signed with was located, he still came back home on occasion.

  The house was huge compared to the other houses in Brookstone, and surrounded by several acres of land. He had it custom built, and currently they were in the basement where his sound studio was.

  Tanner was sitting on the couch pressed against the wall and watching the guys play an acoustic version of one of their number one hits. Jacks sang softly and played his guitar while Matty, Beats, and Five sang along with him. It was strange seeing this part of them, and even stranger because Zoe wasn’t sitting here with them.

  It had been months since the situation with Beats had happened, and although Zoe hadn’t gone into detail about it again after that, and Tanner hadn’t asked, she knew there was thick tension still there.

  But Zoe was with someone now, a pre-med student who was in school with her brother Lane. She seemed happy, and Tanner supposed that was all that mattered.

  Over the rest of the tour she had heard the band belt out their songs and scream the lyrics to the crowd. It was exhilarating just watching them on stage. But this was a totally different side to them, one that was softer, more down to earth, and reminded her of the guys she had grown up with.

  Beats, normally the drummer of the group, started singing the chorus in his gravelly, deep voice, but there was this sadness in his words, and it didn’t have anything to do with the fact that the song was sorrowful in general. He was hurting, that much was clear, and she had a pretty good feeling that it had to do with Zoe.

  Five, normally the bassist of the group, was playing the piano that was set up in the corner, and the way he played was smooth and flawless.

  If she hadn’t known these guys personally, she would have never thought any of them could reach this kind of softness just from the looks of them. Maybe a bit stereotypical, but with their huge muscular bodies, and the tattoos and piercings that covered them, they seemed more heavy metal, beat your ass kind of guys.

  She had finished their website and the online store, but she hadn’t stopped tweaking and updating the site. She also was currently working with a clothing designer on some new graphics and items for the band.

  It was definitely a full-time job, not all smiles and good times, but she wouldn’t change it for the world. She was up most nights going over graphics, worked hard and had plenty of stress, but she was with Jacks, and for that she would do anything to make this life a reality.

  But life wasn’t perfect. She knew all about screwing stuff up, spending too much time wanting someone and not having the balls to come out and say it, and she wouldn’t have wished that on anyone, especially her best friends. This was their life, and Zoe had made her decision on what she wanted.

  Jacks had been right, this was one crazy ride, but it was only the beginning, and she looked forward to all the twists and turns this journey provided.

  Pleasure hummed in Tanner as Jacks took her hand. They’d left everyone back at the house after they’d spent hours together singing, playing guitars, talking, and just spending time together.

  It had been so perfect.

  They walked hand-in-hand toward the small pond that was on the back of the property. The dock had string lights on either side, already on and giving this ethereal glow.

  They walked onto the dock, Jacks never letting go of her hand. When they got to the end, they just stood there, looking at the water, the way the moon seemed to glisten off the top, almost sparkling.

  She felt him tighten his hand on hers and looked over at him, tipping her head back slightly. He looked down at her and there was this solemnness in his face, written on his expression.

  He used his other hand to cup her cheek, stroking his thumb along her flesh, making every part of her tingle. “You know how much I love you?”

  She swallowed roughly and licked her lips, nodding. “Probably as much as I love you, Jacks,” she replied, meaning every word.

  He gestured for them to sit down on the dock, their legs hanging over the edge, their toes almost touching the water.

  She rested her head on his shoulder, felt him wind his arm around her tighter, pulling her in closer to his body. They stayed like that for long moments, neither speaking, this perfect comfortable feeling settling over them.

  “You complete me, Tanner,” he said softly after long seconds, and she felt him kiss the crown of her head. “You complete me so much that I know I’d be lost without you, broken, a shell of a man.”

  Tanner pulled back so she could look into his face, saw that he was already watching her. “Hey,” she said softly. “What’s brought this on?” He gave her a small smile and leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips.

  “My love for you brought it on, the fact that you’re the only person who knows me better than I know myself.” Jacks rested his forehead against hers. “Even if I didn’t have two nickels to rub together, had nothing to my name, you’d still be the first one standing next to me, holding my hand, telling me you love me.”

  Tears pricked her eyes and she heard the sincerity in his voice. She licked her lips and nodded. “It’s true. I’d be with you no matter what, stand beside you even if neither of us had nothing.” She gave him a smile and shifted so that she could be the one to kiss him now. She murmured against his lips, “so you’re stuck with me, Jackson. I hope you’re ready for that.” She hoped he felt the smile she wore.

  He chuckled softly and curled his fingers tighter around her arm, an act that told her he’d never let her go. “I’ve been ready for that my entire life, Tanner. My entire life.”

  The End.

  About the Author

  Find Jenika at:

  www.JenikaSnow.com

  Jenika_Snow@yahoo.com

 

 

  Jenika Snow, A Little Bit Dirty (Twisted Feather, 1)

 

 

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