Stepping back, I turned toward the outcropping of rocks, this time peering into the darkness where the water deepened and flowed into more caverns and tunnels that eventually led to the sea.

  I was alone, but I knew Cas had…called me here. It had been he who had pulled me from the emptiness of sleep. He must’ve been looking for me—dream-walking—because…

  A frown pulled my brows together as I drifted farther into the pool, the warm breeze toying with the strands of hair framing my face. Stomach dipping, I stopped where the water lapped over my waist, and white-tipped, foamy bubbles teased the swells of my breasts.

  Cas would be looking for me because I wasn’t with him. He was in Carsodonia, and I had been in Pensdurth. My hand went to my throat. The skin there was still smooth. The memory of Kolis’s fangs tearing into me sent a cold shudder snaking down my spine again as I looked down, where the bone dagger had been plunged deep into my chest. There was a new scar there, a faded pink line between my breasts about an inch and a half long, just below my heart.

  I lowered my hand to the scar, feeling the jagged skin beneath my fingertips. My gaze went to my waist as I remembered the burning sting of Kolis’s essence.

  I’d been wounded, gravely so, and nearly drained of all my essence. I’d felt death reaching out for me, and Cas…he would’ve felt that, too. I knew that. And he wouldn’t have been able to get to me. I had made sure of that.

  Closing my eyes, I breathed through the shredding sensation in my chest. I also knew he must have been going out of his mind with fury and desperation, because when I woke up to discover that he’d been taken from me, I’d been panicked and enraged. I lost control. And knowing Cas like I did, he would’ve been pushed to the brink.

  Possibly even over it.

  My stomach turned as I reminded myself that Cas hadn’t been alone. Kieran was with him. So were his father and brother. And his friends: Vonetta, Delano, Emil, and Naill. They would’ve kept him level. That’s what I kept telling myself, even as a tiny voice in the back of my mind whispered that none of them would be able to stop Cas. Maybe before, but now, after my Ascension and the full effects of the Joining? Not even Kieran would be able to stop him.

  Unease started to unfurl, but I tamped it down. There was nothing I could do about any of that right now. I was…asleep, possibly even in stasis. Drawing in the humid air, I called for him, to him.

  I’m here. I’m waiting for you. I’m here. I’m here. I’m—

  The air in the cavern suddenly shifted, stilling.

  My eyes snapped open as I tilted my head back. The lilacs had stopped swaying, and the fine hairs on the nape of my neck lifted. Tiny bumps erupted over my skin as awareness throbbed deep in the center of my chest. I dragged in a stuttered inhale, catching the scent of pine, decadent spice, and something new. Something I couldn’t place. But it didn’t matter.

  I spun, sending the water into a spraying and fizzing frenzy as I searched the bank. My mouth parted, but his name faded from my lips.

  The bank of the pool was empty, but I…I could feel him. His stare. Like always, it was as powerful as a caress, and it was drifting over my face, tracing the slope of my shoulders, and then moving lower. A heady flush bloomed up my throat as the tips of my breasts pebbled under the heaviness of the stare that could only belong to Casteel.

  He was here.

  I’d never been more certain of anything in my life.

  Drawing my lower lip between my teeth, I scanned the bank, slower this time. My eyes moved over the lilacs and the deep shadows clinging to each branch as I turned slowly toward the pool’s steps.

  Water rippled around my hips, tickling my skin as I stilled. My eyes locked on the mouth of the cavern. The delicate blossoms had withered on the slender branches and were twisted and taut, hanging suspended in midair as they recoiled from the opening—from the darkness that had replaced the cloudy mist that had been there before.

  The fine hairs all over my body stood up even more. There was…something in those shadows. I took another step forward. The water dropped to my thighs, sending tiny bubbles spinning across the surface. My breath snagged in my throat as I felt the touch of his stare slipping to where the water frothed. A tremor coursed through me as the scent of pine and lush spice increased, settling against my bare skin like satin. My thighs trembled as a sharp aching pulse spiked through me.

  The shadows clinging to the cavern walls peeled away, whispering over the damp stone as they slid toward the place where the darkness gathered in the opening, seeming to pulse and expand. They solidified and thickened, becoming a deep charcoal gray as they drifted forward—

  As he drifted forward, cloaked in deep-gray shadows and crimson smoke edged in silver.

  My entire body stilled as Primal mist coiled around his legs and waist.

  Heart thudding, I stared up at Casteel. He’d never looked more like a God of Death than he did now.

  And that was what he had become.

  The Joining had split my abilities between him and Kieran, changing both of them into Deminyen Primals—a Primal belonging to no Court. But with Cas…it had affected him differently, and I still didn’t believe that it was only due to how much eather he had in him, thanks to who his great-grandfather was. There was another reason, one I couldn’t figure out, but right now, it didn’t matter.

  What did was why he’d dream-walked in this form.

  Concern blossomed. I didn’t know everything there was to know about dream walking. Either the vadentia—my foresight—didn’t work in this state, somewhere between a dream and reality, or I wasn’t meant to know. But the last time, he’d looked like himself until he was close to waking up. Only then did the Blood Queen’s—my mother’s—treatment begin to show.

  Unless this wasn’t him.

  No, it was his posture and height. His broad shoulders. His presence.

  This was him. But something was very wrong. I drew in a shallow breath and leaned forward.

  The essence spun faster, curling over his shoulders as he jerked his head up and tilted it to the side. Through the throbbing mass surrounding him, I couldn’t see his face or his eyes.

  My concern grew, chasing away the heat of his stare. I stepped toward him, lifting a hand—

  The mist spinning around him ceased. A heartbeat passed. Crimson-soaked dusk whipped out over the pool. Beneath the churning shadows and smoke stretching out toward me, the frothing and bubbling water stilled and then glazed over. I jerked to a stop as the shadows spun around me, the air turning as cold as a winter’s morning in the northern lands of Masadonia. Ice formed in delicate veins, cracking as it raced over the surface of the hot springs.

  “Cas,” I gasped, my breath forming a misty, puffy cloud.

  The spreading ice ceased, cracking softly as the wisps of essence swirled around me, filling my lungs with his scent—pine, spice, and… It wasn’t the damp-soil-and-moss scent I had picked up on him when he was on the verge of going full Primal before. This was like that, but deeper and colder. Like…frosted ash.

  My mouth dried as I searched the form before me, looking for his golden eyes. I couldn’t find any hint of them. The fractured beams of light seemed to bend away from him, leaving only a silhouette that was more starlight, dusk, and crimson smoke than man.

  “Cas,” I tried again, shivering as the icy-hot tendrils whirled around me.

  He remained silent.

  I wet my lips, searching for something—anything—to say that would reach him, because he was here and he also wasn’t. “I love you,” I told him. “Always.”

  The smoke and shadows throbbed and flickered, thinning until I saw the well-formed shape of his mouth, the fullness of his upper lip, the sharpness of a cheekbone, and his eyes. Gold, like polished citrine laced with silver, dipped in crimson. The mist slowed—

  Casteel’s head suddenly jerked to the side, and those lips curved up on one side into a smirk I normally found infuriatingly charming. Now, it carried a blade-like sharpness that promised devastation for whoever it was directed at.

  He was waking.

  “Cas—”

  It was too late.

  The churning shadows retreated, slipping back across the frozen waters. The ice cracked and melted into the rising steam.

  Cas’s head turned back to me, and I felt his piercing stare for just a second more before the shadows and smoke fragmented.

  Then, he was gone.

  But I couldn’t take my eyes off where he had stood. Not even as a white, cloudy film descended on the cavern, the walls began to fade, and I could no longer feel the water I stood in or the humid air against my skin.

  And then I, too, was gone.

  AND FROM THE ASH OF THE FIRST FLAME

  Casteel

  I was consumed by two things only…

  Finding her.

  And ending Kolis.

  He could only hide for so long.

  And her? I’d searched for her in the realm of the waking and knew where she was. But I couldn’t get to her.

  Yet.

  I did not rest. Not as the days passed. Not as the weeks came and went. I waited with the choking desperation, bitter panic, rage, and guilt that had coalesced into an even tighter knot in my heart. It lodged itself behind the icy mass that had already encased my chest and would not thaw.

  And from that frozen abyss, it grew.

  It started like a whisper in the night that couldn’t be found, constant and inescapable.

  It reminded me of being on the verge of bloodlust, where the skin itched and jaw ached as the mind tunneled to a focus on one need and one need only. It reminded me of the long nights when drinking, fighting, and fucking wouldn’t stop the memories of being chained and taken. My flesh crawled just like then. Pressure coiled tightly within my chest as it had when nothing silenced the taunting laughs.

  But this was different. It didn’t feel unfamiliar, though. Almost like it had been there before Pensdurth. Before her Ascension. Even before her. Maybe it had always been there, and it only now had woken up, becoming a fire in my bones and smoke in my veins. It haunted the edges of sleep and whispered while I was awake.

  It wasn’t a want nor a need. It was an urge, one that demanded to be unleashed.

  To upend the order of things.

  To undo.

  Unravel.

  Unmake.

  It was relentless and nearly impossible to contain, quieting when I let it take over. When I hunted. When I destroyed.

  And this? Stillness and silence? It was agony and torture as I held myself immobile and made no sound. I let it gnaw at me as I willed myself to slip away into dreams, where I had a chance to find her.

  I hadn’t found her yet, and that…

  Fucking terrified me.

  But I was relentless. With sheer will, I forced myself to sleep and into the dreamless nothing. And I stayed there.

  It began with a slow drift into awareness. Then came a tug at the center of my chest, pulling me from somewhere between sleep and wakefulness.

  Casteel.

  Her voice found me, echoing like an incantation in my blood and carrying the faint, sweet, and heady scent of jasmine. Fractured sunlight pierced the dark, churning, muddy darkness, chipping away at it in sections until I saw gray stone and clusters of lilacs smothering the rock ceiling and hanging from it. Through the cascade of lavender-hued blossoms, I glimpsed the pool of white-tipped, frothing water, and hair the color of polished garnet…

  I saw her.

  The sight of her stopped time. Crushed me under the weight of relief. Choked me with the desperation I still couldn’t shake. Shredded me with a rage so cold and unyielding that the icy knot throbbed in my chest. I was furious with myself. With Kolis, the Fates, and the very realms themselves for separating us. For stopping me from finding her. For everything she had been put through. For what I knew she suffered, and for the unknown that threatened to drive me insane. And I was furious with her. With her choices. Her decisions.

  The sight of her destroyed me in one heartbeat and, the moment she became aware of my presence, remade me again.

  I heard her breath quicken. Felt the sudden, rapid rise of her pulse in my blood. Water sprayed and hissed as she spun toward me.

  Humid air got trapped in my throat. It felt like an eternity since I’d last seen eyes all the colors of the realms and that heart-shaped face. A forever ago since my gaze had traveled over the smattering of freckles along the bridge of her nose and the proud, often stubborn tilt of her slightly pointed chin. My gaze zeroed in on those full, bow-shaped lips as she searched for me. It felt like ages had passed since I’d last felt those lips against my flesh. Her wide eyes darted past where I stood and then swung back, slower this time.

  My gaze glided over the elegant arch of her throat and the fragile lines of her collarbones. I knew her skin would be warm and damp—skin that was a paradise to touch. To taste. My gaze lowered to the rosy tips of her breasts peeking through the strands of her hair. Warmth hit my veins as my eyes devoured the soft curve of her stomach, her hips, and the glimpse I got of the shadowy region hidden below the bubbling water. Her body was not flawless. Her life had left its mark behind. But it was perfect to me.

  She could feel me but couldn’t see me. I knew that in the way her nipples puckered. I saw it in the fine shiver that coursed through her, leaving behind a wake of tiny bumps and flushed skin.

  The water stirred around her as she came forward, those beautiful, intelligent eyes focusing on where I stood, cloaked in my own shadows. The water receded, baring that hidden area to me. The softness that was mine.

  The breath that had lost itself in my throat escaped me. The air shuddered. Even in this in-between, nature reacted to my presence. The stems of the lilacs closest to me withered as they recoiled and lifted into the air. The branches froze upon my breath.

  Lust fisted in my gut, lodging itself right below the icy knot cemented into my chest. The warmth in my veins heated. My cock hardened as the lush and soft scent of her arousal overtook the lilac. Jasmine. My mouth watered. My fangs throbbed, and the essence around me followed suit, peeling away from the walls and reaching for her.

  The air around me chilled, but inside, I was fire and ice. I moved without realizing it as the want for her seized me. Took over. I wanted to feel her skin against mine. To taste her lips and the paradise between her thighs. I wanted to fuck her and make love to her. To lose myself in her heat. I wanted to gather her close and whisper her name with the reverence she deserved, and to shout with the fury knotted inside me. I wanted to protect her. Ruin her. Love her the way she loved me. Bruise her the way she’d bruised me. I wanted to…hate her for doubting me, for not trusting me. For preventing me from coming to her aid. For stopping me from blocking Kolis’s path of death before the road led to Carsodonia.

  I wanted to hate her because I hated myself.

  And there were many reasons to do so. So many misdeeds. I should’ve listened to him. To Kieran. Talked to her before it all came undone. I should’ve controlled my temper when the unraveling began. Should’ve earned her trust. Should’ve risked losing her by finding a way to keep her by my side. For…fuck, for sneaking into her bed like a wraith and leaving like a ghost the night before she left for Pensdurth. For not being strong enough to be her shelter.

  Ice crackled, forming a spreading sheet across the water’s surface as I drifted toward the earthen steps. Essence slipped over my shoulders and spun into the air around me, full of relief and panic, grief and joy, love and anger.

  Her hand lifted toward me, those deft fingers nearing the coiled eather.

  My chest throbbed. The essence stilled as veins of ice spread toward her, and I struggled to rein it back in. It was too…volatile. I was too unpredictable. He’s unhinged. That’s what I’d heard whispered in the halls of Wayfair.

  A ghost of a smile tugged at my lips.

  They were right.

  I was chaos given flesh and form and staring down at the woman who was my ruination, my salvation. I was never more chaotic. I wanted to take her, to break her. To keep her safe. To des—

  “Cas?”

  The sound of her voice speaking the name that made me feel human broke me at the same moment it freed me, enraged me in the same breath that it gave me peace. Gods, I truly felt unhinged as the essence around me deepened with threads of crimson.

  She stood completely still as my essence swirled around her, eyes still wide but clear. Her breaths came in fast, short bursts, and her heart still raced, but I didn’t taste fear. Instead, I detected the thickness of concern and the decadent sweetness of chocolate-dipped berries. I tasted love, and that filled me with pride.

  She was fearless. Bold. Courageous. Unstoppable.

  She said my name again, and it caused an ache that went beyond the physical. The kind of power she wielded over me…she had no idea.

  She never did.

  Her chest rose with a sharper inhale. She wet her lips, and that brief glimpse of her tongue was like downing a shot of pure desire. I wanted inside her. In her mouth. Her pussy. And in places I had held myself back from. Smoke and ice filled my veins. I tasted snow and brimstone.

  “I love you,” she said. “Always.”

  I…

  I went still.

  The endless stream of wants and needs was silenced. I heard her. Only her. I felt her voice. Tasted the truth in those words. My mind calmed. The thrum of power ebbed. The Primal mist slowed and thinned. I saw her, only her, and—

  The hair at my nape rose as every sense within me sharpened. My head cocked. Something had shifted, but…but not here in the in-between. A moment passed. The prickle of awareness increased. Something had entered Wayfair, having either stepped on or brushed against one of the vines connected to me—an extension of my will formed by my essence. Not in the Great Hall while I slept, but close.

  Something I’d been waiting on.

  I turned my head back toward her as the air started to shift. I let myself look my fill. Let myself feel the brief peace only she could give, even when she wreaked havoc upon my life. Let myself spend one more heartbeat in her presence.