My poor queen. My poor Princess Mary.

  Lady Nan was outside in the garden again, but this time, two guards were set around them at every entrance, and even above at the parapets. She liked being out of doors and even I felt safe with so many men-at-arms. Kendrick was gone. He’d not be back if he had any sort of intelligence. Or if he did return, he’d be on the end of a rope. Either way suited me.

  No sooner did I bow to Nan and take a seat – with my lute and my basket of foolery at my feet – than she asked me to play … much to the sour face of Mark Smeaton. As I played, he fidgeted. I hoped that he would join in, for I knew he knew this song, but as he would not, I began adding my own comical flourishes to it, and the ladies lauded it so that he took personal offense, jumped to his feet, bowed to Lady Nan with some sort of excuse, and took his leave.

  I finished my song with my own words that fitted the melody: ‘And that’s what scares musicians most … that they can’t compete with a fooooool!’ stringing out the last note as long as I could.

  They laughed and clapped and I was content. But not so was Lady Ursula. She looked just as miserable as she had since Gonzalo’s death. What cause had she to be so sour? She had the vigorous attentions of Kendrick … unless he had told her his farewells with their latest pony ride. But perhaps it was because she could not gain the attention of Henry, the fickle man. I cast about for my gossipers, but they were sitting behind Lady Nan and could not in any casual manner make their way toward me.

  I stayed a while, walking about the seated ladies, making rude rhymes about what each lady was embroidering, and making a proper fool of myself, when I saw the futility of my staying. And I also needed the necessary.

  I bowed to Lady Nan, bid my farewells, and, taking up lute and basket, headed for the easements at the main gate, near the river. I found myself a cozy seat among the many. That bean soup I had for breakfast was coursing through me and it was time to relieve myself of it. But soon I was joined not too many seats away by two lower courtiers, more sirrahs than sirs. Not the richest of men, they seldom dined anywhere near the king, but I was able to hear their talk because of the way the jakes was built. It was at the west end that one could hear what all speakers at the east end were saying. Some builder’s clever business, or perhaps it was quite by accident. In any case, it was my favorite relieving-spot for this very reason.

  ‘You owe me two pence,’ said the one.

  ‘Eh?’ said the other.

  ‘Our wager of the king’s pleasure, remember?’ said the first.

  ‘Oh! And what did you hear?’

  ‘Not only hear, me lad, but saw it plain. I told you about Lady Ursula.’

  ‘Aye, and you got nearly a groat out of me for that one.’

  ‘She kept tarrying near the king’s lodgings for days afterward. She thought he’d call on her again, I’m certain.’

  ‘Did he?’

  ‘No. You know that he burns for that Bullen woman.’

  ‘And she’s clever, holding her maidenhead dear.’

  ‘I know it. There’s some that say that mayhap she doesn’t … for other men.’

  ‘Why? She’s almost got the prize in her hand.’

  ‘Oh … a moment.’

  The first man gave up the most boisterous of farts. A real trumpeter, that one.

  He settled in again and rested his arms on his thighs.

  ‘Do you think Lady Nan knows of it?’ asked the second.

  ‘Not a chance. That Ursula is still a maid of honor. She’d never be if Nan knew it.’

  The second one did his business with a flourish, and then proceeded to wipe his bum with a little wool.

  ‘But that’s not the juiciest bit,’ said the first.

  These gossips were worse than any women. But I supposed they needed to entertain themselves in some way. With teeth clenched, I kept my bowels still so I could hear every word.

  ‘Go on, then.’

  ‘Well.’ The first leaned into the second. ‘The king may not have needed Lady Ursula to stand in for Lady Nan, because he had another to his bed. You’ll never guess who.’

  ‘Don’t keep me waiting, lad. I’m almost done here.’

  ‘Now this one I almost think the Lady Nan had a hand in.’

  ‘Well?’

  The first one smiled wide. ‘It’s the dead one. The one recently slaughtered by a crossbow bolt. That Lady Jane Perwick.’

  ‘No!’

  ‘I saw it m’self. Saw her sneaking out through the withdrawing room, right out of the king’s bedchamber, and the king himself, waving her off.’

  ‘Poor Lady Jane. But hold. What are you saying about Lady Anne and all?’

  ‘I think she found out. I think she got herself someone to do her bidding.’

  ‘You mean got someone to kill the lady for her? That’s deadly cold.’

  ‘As cold as the grave. Here, hand me some of that wool.’

  And just like that, my world tilted again.

  TWENTY

  After those two nose-bodies left, I had a chance to think, as well as to empty my bowels: Henry did spill it about court, didn’t he? But now I’m confused, because what was Kendrick doing killing her, then? Because it would get in the way of the marriage of Lady Anne and Henry? Yet, was not Kendrick a Spanish spy and trying to kill such a marriage? Or was he? And what of Ursula?

  Bollocks! This was stuffed and tangled more than Wolsey’s braies.

  I was getting something terribly wrong, I knew it. I wished Rodrigo was still here to talk to, but at least my Marion was here. For now. Henry wouldn’t need me for some time, so I was free to see her. At least, if her guardians would allow me access.

  I finished my business in the latrines, washed my hands and hurried through court, stopping now and again to make a jest or jibe as the courtiers expected. I didn’t want them to think I was hurrying to some personal errand. The less they had to say about me the better.

  And wouldn’t you know, when I turned a corner going too fast, I bumped into Wolsey himself in all his bulk. It was like running full tilt into a bolster.

  He almost landed on his bum. I wasn’t as lucky.

  ‘Somers!’ he choked out. ‘By the rood, why are you careering about the court as if your hose were afire? Such a fool!’

  No one helped me up. They stood as angry pillars surrounding the old porker, and glared down at me. Cromwell was among them, at his right shoulder, peering over the man to gaze at me, more becalmed than all the rest of them put together.

  I rose with exaggerated movements, brushing off my coat and carefully arranging my basket inside the crook of my arm again and picking up the lute, glad that it had come to no harm. ‘Well, Thomas, I tell you. Some be fools by nature, the same that we call idiots. Others be cunning and crafty fools, those who cannot thrive by their wisdom and seek to live by their folly. And such a one, it may be imagined, is your Will Somers. Or … were you referring to yourself in this instance, Your Grace?’

  His face reddened. And it was a pleasure to see it. I darted a glance at Cromwell, and his expression – as always – was mild, but with the merest of twinkles in his eyes.

  They shoved me aside, His Grace and his cadre of priests and courtiers, frowning in long faces at me as they passed. I wasn’t fooled. Those were the precise men who would be laughing as uproariously as the next when they were in the king’s company and enjoying my escapades. That is, as long as the king was laughing.

  I sent up a prayer for Wolsey’s own fool, Patch. He and I were good friends. It could not have been easy making merry in that company.

  I hurried to my own quarters to relieve myself of basket and lute, and when I turned around, I nearly jumped out of me own skin when Edward emerged from the shadows.

  ‘You’ve been avoiding me.’

  ‘Hang you in your teeth, Edward! I have not been avoiding you. I have my matters to attend to. And you frightened my soul from me. How did you get in?’

  ‘I serve the court and clean it. I have the keys.’

  ‘You mean you stole them from the Lord Chamberlain.’

  He frowned. ‘Mayhap.’

  I wiped the sweat from my brow and landed my hand upon his bosom. More softly, I said, ‘Harken, Edward. I did not forget you.’

  ‘Then take a moment now.’

  Before I could reply, he wrapped his hand around my neck and hauled me in for a sloppy kiss. Ah, but Edward’s kisses were a bonny thing. And before I could comment about that, he’d dropped to his knees, and pulled open my codpiece.

  Well … I couldn’t very well push him away when he was so engaged. It wouldn’t be polite. And neither would it take long, in any case. So I let him minister to me as he ministered to himself and … Lord! His mouth was paradise.

  ‘Edward, I need to sit or me legs will give out.’

  He wiped his mouth and sat beside me upon the bed. We both set our hose to rights and lay back. ‘Edward, you mustn’t be so … so passionate.’

  ‘You like my passion.’

  ‘I … well, aye. I do. But just at this moment …’

  He crossed his arms tightly over his chest, even as he lay supine. ‘You put me off.’

  I rolled to face him. ‘Nor should you be jealous. You know I have many lovers.’

  ‘And I don’t have to like it.’

  I grabbed his chin and kissed him hard. ‘I won’t settle for one man.’

  ‘But you’ll settle for one woman.’

  ‘I have. You know it well. And I will not hear you speak ill of her.’

  He turned his face away, but at least his arms unloosed and fell to his sides. ‘I love you, Will.’

  ‘Ah, Edward. I love you too, in my way. But I love many.’

  Grumbling, he turned halfway back toward me. ‘They say that you’ll marry her.’

  ‘If I can. The way I love Marion is different from the way I love you and the others.’

  ‘But why? Can’t you just … be mine?’

  ‘God has made me in this particular way, Edward. I can’t seem to fight what he has made. Or perhaps the Devil has made me, crooked back and all.’ He frowned, looked to be on the verge of tears. I laid my hand to his cheek. ‘But I will always seek you out. Marion is very understanding that way.’

  He nodded. He did know it.

  ‘She’s clever, is Marion,’ I said.

  ‘God ’a mercy,’ he whispered.

  ‘Just be patient.’

  ‘Oh, then …’ He slowly sat up and rubbed his messy hair. ‘Then I can no longer gloat, can I? I was going to.’

  I sat up with him and noticed the laces of my doublet had loosened, so I tied them. ‘What were you going to gloat about? Which is, incidentally, a very nasty habit.’

  He lowered his face. ‘It’s about the Lady Marion.’

  ‘What about her?’

  ‘She’s got her servants packing, hasn’t she? They’ve brought in coffers and she’s going away.’

  My heart stumbled. No! She couldn’t be. That damn father of hers!

  I leapt off the bed and darted through the doorway before I skidded to a stop, turned around, and came back to Edward. He was straightening his clothes and looking miserable and red-faced. ‘I’m sorry, Edward. But you know how it is with me and Marion. I don’t want her to go.’

  ‘I’m sorry too,’ he said to his feet.

  ‘I must go.’

  ‘Go on, then.’

  I kissed his cheek and flew out of the chambers again.

  I headed toward Marion’s apartments but slowed to a stop. What good would that do to go to Marion’s and talk to her? If her father forced her to go, go she would. I had to talk to her father, plead my case again. And … beshrew me! He had to listen to me or I would go to the king. I needed my Marion and she needed me, horrible man that I was with my many sins dragging behind me. But I mustn’t think of that. I must gird m’self and talk sense to the man.

  All this and more I said to myself in my head as I made my way through the corridors and halls, past courtiers, past the many guards stationed here and there, and finally to Lord Heyward’s apartments.

  Once I reached it, I was told he was elsewhere, so I followed his path and found him in an alcove talking with courtiers in the serious manner that men at court did; furtively, with brows drawn down, straight-lipped. Never was there more need for a jester in their midst.

  I capered, made jests that lightened their mood. But not Lord Robert’s. No, of course not. He endured my presence likened to a stone gargoyle: stiff and grimacing.

  Then I stayed out of the way so that all the business amongst them could conclude, and waited until Lord Robert was alone. He watched his fellows retreat, and without so much as an eyelash twitching in my direction, he set off to God-knew-where at nearly a trot.

  ‘Lord Robert!’ I shouted after him. But he pretended as if he hadn’t heard me. I ran after. ‘Lord Robert!’

  Without slowing, he said in a clipped puff of air, ‘Yes, Somers?’

  ‘I need to speak to you urgently on a personal matter.’

  He kept walking and my ire rose to the surface and I forgot my place for that moment. I halted and said loudly, ‘Will you stop and talk to me!’

  That did it. He halted and swiveled toward me with a shocked expression.

  I didn’t falter. I straightened my doublet and adjusted my coat with its few pleats and stalked toward him until I was nearly nose to nose. ‘I say again, my lord. I am an honest man, a favorite at the court, with the ear of the king. I earn a goodly sum, enough to buy a house for a wife. And I care deeply for your daughter, sir. By my life, I do. And she cares as deeply for me. I ask for your permission to marry her, to keep her safe, to love and cherish her as befitting the kind, Christian soul she is. I ask it not as a fool by trade, but as a man, my lord. A man of integrity and obstinacy. Traits that you yourself seem to hold dear.’

  His eyes raked over me in disbelief. Who the devil was I to speak to him thus? Only a man looking to get a wife. Just a man. With not the straightest of shoulders. Could he not see past my motley and my foolish aspect?

  He stood thus for a long time, more than was comfortable. His eyes flicked here and there, looking for those at court who liked to spy and gossip. I didn’t see anyone.

  Staring down at the ring on his finger as he rubbed his knuckles, he frowned. ‘I can see that you have a genuine affection for my daughter, Somers,’ he said softly. ‘And, God mend me, she for you. But love may not be enough to sustain a couple in this cruel world.’

  ‘But we have more than love, my lord. I have the surety of farmland in Shropshire to inherit. And as I said, my finances are such that I can afford a modest house in London. This is surely more than most men in the lower reaches of the court can expect. And … though I am in the lower reaches, I …’

  He raised his palm to me and leaned against the wall. Heyward was always a robust man, at least in the four years I have been acquainted with him. But now I worried.

  ‘Are you well, sir?’

  He nodded, pulling at the fur trim of his coat’s collar. ‘I love my daughter,’ he said. ‘Some men think it folly that I love a bastard child who cannot give me the alliances I would have otherwise sought with a son or a daughter who was fully legitimate. Her status does not offer her much of a chance in that regard. Surely you understand that, Somers? I will not live forever. I cannot protect her forever. I need a man of integrity to do that.’

  ‘I know, my lord.’

  ‘Look at the court,’ he rasped. ‘Look at the state of marriage when a king can put aside a legitimate marriage, blessed by the pope himself. What woman is safe?’

  I crept closer to keep our conversation intimate in such public surroundings. I made my face as sincere as its silliness could be. ‘I … I do understand, my lord.’

  ‘It’s no longer politics, Somers. It’s personal. It’s personal to me.’

  ‘I do know that, my lord. I …’ God blind me! His words suddenly struck me like a thunderbolt, stabbing deep where I could feel it, waking me as if from a slumber. ‘It’s personal,’ I muttered. ‘Not political. Just like Queen Catherine said. By the rood!’ My head shot up and I blinked at Lord Heyward. ‘I have to go. I’m sorry.’

  I fled in the other direction, back toward Marion’s rooms, with the sound of Lord Heyward yelling after me, ‘Somers! Get back here! Somers, you whoreson!’

  TWENTY-ONE

  It was just as Queen Catherine said. Some things are not political. They come from the heart. I had to talk to Marion. I had to stop her before she fully packed and went away.

  I held to the wainscoting at the corner of the corridor to keep myself from plowing into the wall. It helped me to slow down and then speed up, rushing past the servants and guards at her entryway.

  ‘Marion!’ I cried, hurrying through her dining chamber, her withdrawing room, and finally into her bedchamber.

  She turned a shocked face to me, stilling as she folded the linen shifts in her hands. ‘Will?’

  ‘Marion.’ I looked about at the women helping her and the serving men carrying out her coffers. ‘Stop packing and stop …’

  Nosewise jolted up from his little pillow and jumped at my legs, barking.

  Frustrated, I called to the servants to ‘put down that coffer. Now!’ They looked at me perplexed, but since I was someone they recognized, they obeyed me. Nosewise continued to bark. ‘Get out, all of you. And you!’ I said to one of her maids. ‘Unpack those things at once.’

  She looked to Marion and, with a hopeful smile, Marion nodded to her. Nosewise followed the last maid out, barking at the poor creature, who closed the door, leaving us in peace. Even that cursed dog shut his muzzle.

  ‘Marion, you are safe. No one is out to get you. Oh, I’ve been such a fool! I mis-saw everything, mistook everything. I’ve been so wrong.’

  ‘Will, you aren’t making any sense.’