"They don't have much of anything," she responded.

  "Well, we should get them to Maria and Meredith, a few nights of peace for you maybe. Look, Carla, I though the civil patrol was crazy, but working at the clinic, I don't know how you’re doing it."

  "But I can't fix anything!" Carla sighed, her hopelessness overpowering her. "Nothing I do really matters."

  "Everything you do matters! Who you are matters, Carla Garcia. No one can fix the world right now, we just have to survive it. You are moving forward, even if you fall, you fall forward."

  "Why are you always so nice to me?" she questioned very quietly.

  Joshua had so many things he wanted to say to her at that moment. He wanted to declare that he fell in love with her the first time he met her. He wanted to tell her that he'd lied about his car breaking down in order to share the commute to school with her each day. He wanted to say that it didn't matter that the world had gone crazy as she was the only part of his world that mattered; he was happy.

  This wasn't about him and his dreams though. His emotional needs were trivial compared to his friend’s mental health.

  "Because you are so good to everyone around you," he replied. "All the people who live around here benefit from having you in their lives."

  Carla smiled at the sentiment, "Don't know if Chelsea sees it that way."

  "Probably not," Joshua concurred. "But you do way more for those kids than she does, and they're not even yours."

  Carla nodded, slightly relieved by his rationalization. Joshua indicated the pill bottles she was nudging around the table. "It's a good thing you got those. I believe Meredith is getting worse."

  Carla cocked her brow. "You might as well be telling me that the water is wet."

  "Yeah, well, I had to drag her back inside. She was out on the street trying to give a doomsday sermon. She was wild, I mean, I have a feeling she would have scratched my eyes out if I were anyone else."

  "Given half the chance, she probably would," Carla said, all too familiar with her sister's increasing outbursts.

  "She needs a doctor."

  "She needs an exorcist," Carla answered. The laughter faded quickly. "We're all she has."

  "But Carla, we have to be practical. We don't have the resources to treat her disorder."

  Carla gazed down at the pill bottle, hoping for the best. "Maybe we do, at least for a few days."

  Chapter Fourteen

  Meredith sat on her bedroom floor, randomly spreading, and stacking the cards. There was a lot of static in her thoughts today, a lot of things jostling for place, distorting her sense of self and making it difficult to focus. She increasingly found it difficult to separate what was real and what was yet to come.

  Usually, the cards would bring her peace, or night dreams would offer clarity. It was not always something she could form into words, much like trying to describe a color to a blind person. Their frame of reference was just incapable of fully grasping the meaning. She'd tried to explain this to Carla many times. Carla believed in facts, the here and now. She needed to be able to hold it in her hands before acknowledging that something was real. Now, Meredith was beginning to realize there was an opposing side to her gift. One of darkness and hate. Somehow, she had not been infected by that, but others she knew had been. Their gift was something else entirely.

  A knock came, as Meredith had expected.

  "May I come in?" Carla asked, a little cautiously. And Meredith sighed recognizing the hesitation in her voice when she had something to say she knew Meredith wouldn't want to hear.

  Meredith half-jokingly asked, "Are you here to let me read your future?" She fanned the cards once more across her bed.

  Carla's attempt at a smile contorted into a frown, as predicted. "Meredith, we need to talk about something."

  "It's always about what you want to talk about," Meredith grumbled, and Carla wondered if she realized how much she sounded like a toddler. "Unless you want me to read your future, we don't have anything else to discuss."

  Carla frowned. This was already going sideways, and she hadn't even made it to the difficult part. She didn't like the fact that Meredith held all the cards in the conversation, both symbolically and literally.

  Still, she needed them to have this talk. And if it meant giving in to her sister’s indulgences for a few moments, that wasn't asking too much.

  "OK," Carla murmured, sitting on the bed beside Meredith and attempting to show interest. "Read me my future."

  Meredith grinned victoriously as she shuffled the cards in her hands, seemingly at random. Carla tried to imagine the situation from Meredith's point of view. She tried to imagine the cards 'calling' to her... Carla couldn't begin to understand the delusional state one must be in to buy into all this crap.

  Meredith flipped over one of the cards, which showed a guy and a woman entangled. "I see... romance in your future."

  Carla already knew these were not normal playing cards, not strictly tarot cards either, but a bit of a mix her sister had put together. "Right," she responded cooly, attempting and failing to seem impressed.

  Even though she and Carson had been quite careful in their hook-ups, it wasn't unreasonable to guess that Meredith had spied on them. Or perhaps she was thinking about her and Joshua. After all, he was the one male figure in her life who remained somewhat constant. Or maybe that was just something her sister assumed any healthy female around her age would want to hear.

  Meredith flipped over a second card, this time a triangle hazard-looking symbol. "I see... danger approaching."

  Carla was snickering, trying to remain serious. "Have you looked outside lately, Meredith?" We're in danger all the time."

  Meredith turned over the third and last card, ignoring her sister. It depicted skull and crossbones, like an old pirate flag. Meredith leaned back and quickly placed the card face down.

  "What was that one?"

  "Nothing." Meredith said firmly.

  "It was bad, wasn't it?"

  Meredith bit the inside of her cheek, a nervous habit since she was little. She nodded.

  She flipped the card back up. "It's... death. Death approaching you."

  "Finally, something that makes sense. Shit, Sis, there is death everywhere. I had my hands in death all day long. It doesn't need to approach. I’m going out and finding it."

  Carla didn't want to make fun of her sister. She was indulging her for a reason, but all she had been through and her sister’s unwillingness to face what was really going on was just too much.

  "OK, that's it," Carla remarked, cutting Meredith off. "I'm sorry, Meredith, I'm sorry, but this shit is nothing more than some fantasy reality you've cooked up. Real people are dying out there. I saw a child dying of starvation today. Here, in San Antonio, children are dying because they can't get enough to eat."

  "They aren't just fantasies!" Meredith objected softly. "These visions are actually happening!"

  "It's time to grow up!" Carla said, her tone growing harsh and demanding. "This clairvoyant nonsense may have seemed fun as a child. But you're an adult now. I can't continue to be responsible for you like way back then."

  Meredith stammered, her eyes welling up with tears, "But I'm doing this for you! I'm doing this so that I don't lose you like I lost Mom and Dad!"

  The words were like a verbal slap. "I lost them too, you know!" Carla said, her bitterness of being forced into the parenting role rising to the surface. "I had the same crappy luck as you. But you don't see me projecting my thoughts onto everyone around me!"

  Carla took the bottle from her pocket and shook out a single blue tablet. "I want you to start taking these."

  Meredith picked up the pill and held it up for closer inspection. She turned it several ways examining it as if it were poison. "No," she stated flatly. "If I take those, I won't be able to see my visions. I won’t know what’s coming."

  "This isn't up for debate, Meredith," Carla said. Her tone growing increasingly demanding.

  Meredith, on the other hand, refused to budge. She wasn't taking the medication.

  Carla had been through too much today just to get the meds. She leaned closer, grasped her sister's chin, and attempted to shove the pill into her sister's mouth. "Carla... you're hurting me!" Meredith screamed in between tears.

  "It's for your own good," Carla said emphatically as she pushed her sister’s cheeks together forcing the lips to part.

  But just as she was about to open Meredith's mouth, Carla felt a stinging slap across the face, She flew off the bed onto her back; blue pills spilled all over the carpet.

  The sudden violent outburst from her sister stunned her. Carla only wanted to keep her sister safe. Meredith also looked shocked. Neither girl spoke for several minutes. Meredith sobbed quietly, Carla rubbed her face.

  "All right," Carla grumbled as she returned the pills to the bottle. "Would you like to live in your fantasy world? That is perfectly OK. But how nice will it be when you are starving or a mob shows up wanting to tear you apart?"

  Despite the intimidation, Meredith was unmoved. "I know you don’t believe me, Carla. You never have. But there will come a day. You'll see the world for what it is, and you'll beg me to forgive you. Not today, and most likely not tomorrow. But it'll happen—you'll see how right I was."

  Chapter Fifteen

  The following day, Carla felt trapped and knew she had to get out of the house. They needed food, but that was an uncertain daily chore. She wasn't sure she could face going back to the makeshift hospital. So instead, she headed back to the local civil patrol station.

  She was surprised to see four guards outside the old police station. She knew the interior of the building was likely scorching hot already. Summer in central Texas. Still, with all the looting going on, it seemed odd to see the guards all grouped together.

  "Can I help you?" the cop she didn't recognize asked dismissively. He was a large man with dark skin and accusing eyes. He stared down at her as if she were a bug.

  "I'm Patrol Officer Garcia, Level 2 Clearance," Carla said, hoping that the cops would recognize her despite her lack of real authority.

  "So, you're one of the last ones standing," the guard said with a dry laugh. "What exactly do you want, a medal?"

  She guessed that because of the cuts in food credits, few, if any, of the civilian patrols had even been showing up.

  She plastered on a fake smile, "No, I need to do something to get more food for my family. I was wondering about maybe a new assignment." Carla continued, "I wanted to ask about going over to Lehigh," speaking in one rapid breath before losing her nerve. "I understand there's some problem over there. I was wondering if I might go over there and look it over, maybe plan a supply run for the food bank?"

  The guards exchanged glances that revealed nothing. They burst out laughing. When Carla did not join in, the large, black man who apparently was in charge said, "You're serious, aren't you?" Why would anyone want to go down that rabbit hole? Did you hear what happened to the last group that tried to negotiate with those people?”

  "Look, I've got people in my neighborhood who are starving, people with families and children," she said, attempting to elicit sympathy from the man. "I owe it to them to try if there's a chance, I can get things sorted out for them."

  "Join the fucking club, honey.” The guard then attempted a different method. “Hey, I admire your enthusiasm, Miss...umm, Garcia," he said, remembering her name. "But going over there is damn sure not recommended." He looked at one of the other men who nodded in confirmation.

  "Might as well just go off yourself. Guaranteed to get raped at the very least. Sorry to be so blunt but those are the facts."

  "But isn't that where the government is based now?" she asked. "Someone over there has to be thinking about the survivors. Where is the mayor?"

  One of the other officers spoke up. He was wiry, with a sweat-stained shirt unbuttoned too far down his chest. "The real mayor? He's over there."

  Carla followed his gaze to the large building. "Apex Tower? But it's..."

  "Yeah, we know. Everyone died. The EMP blast took out all the elevators, door controls locked, and the entire building went into lock-down. Even the few who made it into the lobby couldn’t break down the Armorglass windows to get out. Those luxury apartments became their overpriced prison."

  "And their tomb," said the other man.

  "The assistant mayor became the acting mayor and had emergency services abandon any rescue attempts at Apex. Since his boss was stuck up on one of the higher floors, it was a simple way to advance his own career.

  “So, this new mayor, guy named Cleveland, took office a few weeks ago over in Lehigh as you know. I suppose we all work for him now. Even if he is in absentia. I don’t know much about the dude. He had us put your patrol groups together. Sent us supplies to keep it running, he imposed resource restrictions everywhere. Put the brakes on the looting fast, which was pretty damn smart, if you ask me."

  The black man, whose name badge read Hightower, pulled her away from the others and over into a shady patch on the south side of the building.

  "Look, miss, I 'm not trying to get in your business, but anyone who has attempted to go into Lehigh has been turned away or simply disappeared. It's an armed camp over there.”

  He continued, "I admire what you're attempting. But if you do this, you'll be on your own, we can’t come bail you out if you get into trouble. You yourself know we have enough of that right here.”

  "I understand," Carla said weakly, feeling as if this was just one more challenge in her life... one more thing that she'd have to tackle on her own.

  Carla made her way back to her bike which was becoming her main mode of transport. She hadn’t totally made up her mind when she'd left the house earlier, but now, she was committed. She stopped by one of the caches of supplies she and Carson had made. It wasn't much, a stretch of ancient looking self-storage units. They'd managed to find one with a key hanging in the lock.

  It was a fast stop, and the space only held basic supplies; no food, just bottles of water, which she placed into a knapsack and then got back on her bike. She hadn't gone more than a block when she heard the sound of someone panting to catch up. She spun around.

  "What exactly are you doing?" Carla asked.

  Carson held up a hand and took a pull from a water bottle before answering.

  "I went by the station to turn my stuff in. They said some crazy chick had just left on her way to go see the new mayor. I figured that had to be you. Thought you could use some backup."

  Carla was still a bit pissed at their prior conversation and coldly replied, "Thanks, but I think I've got this." She began pushing the bike down the street, only pausing when Carson ran in front of her.

  "I understand you're still upset. I can't say I blame you. But you're venturing into unknown area by even trying to meet with this guy."

  "Oh, whatever, he's a politician."

  Carson shook his head, "I mean it, Carla. This isn't going to be what you expect. Cleveland is cold as they come. Most likely you won't get within five miles of him. Let me go with you just to...you know, provide some cover."

  "How touching," Carla remarked wryly. "All you need is shining armor and a gallant steed."

  "I know him...the mayor," Carson said, surprising Carla. "Back in the day, before he was in office and a hotshot politician, I did some construction work for him... at least until he decided to replace us all with some stolen BuilderBots."

  "And you think that is enough of a connection to get you in front of him?"

  He shook his head. "No, but I have a better feel for him than you do. I'm telling you this is dangerous. You have a better chance of coming back if I go with you," Carson reasoned. "And you need to come back if nothing else but for your family's sake."

  "What about your family? You’re taking an unnecessary risk, does your family not matter?" Carla asked.

  "Yes, they matter, but I think I know what you’re trying, and if it works, it could help all of us."

  Carla couldn't exactly argue with his logic. "All right," she replied. "I think we saw a spare bike in one of those units a while back, go find it and make certain that you can keep up. And I'm not going to wait for you."

  Minutes later, they were heading toward the unknown of Lehigh. Neither said anything for the first mile, but Carla felt the need to fill in the silence. While the chasm between them was growing, they'd been so close just days before. "Look," she began. "I apologize for being so abrupt, you know cutting you off and all. I never wanted to hurt you. Guess I just I had no idea that it...we meant so much to you. I mean after all, it was only meant to be a little fun. A⁠—”

  "A fun distraction, right?" Carson asked, taking Carla's words from her mouth. "Yeah, you'd be correct on most of that, but let's be real, Carla. We both know that the only reason I married my wife is because she was expecting Rachel. And I adore that tiny girl with my whole heart. But I've spent so many hours imagining what my life would be like if I hadn't met Chelsea. If..."

  The rest of the thought died on his lips, but she thought she knew what he was thinking.

  Carson continued, “I know you want me to focus on my family, and that's smart, it's just, Chelsea is growing increasingly distant. Not just from me but from the kids, too. I mean, she was never a great mom, but she used to try. Everything now just seems to be a reminder of the life she lost. I think in her mind, I've grown to represent everything that’s wrong with the world."

  "I hate hearing that, Carson." And she did. Carla sensed he was being totally honest, but in her mind it was a bit too late for redemption for either of them.

  "I know you don’t love me; I get that. What I miss, though, is the fact that I felt like I mattered to you. I’m a better person when I am with you."

  "Well, I'm sorry if I led you astray," Carla remarked, her remorse growing with each mile. Now she was regretting even bringing the subject up again.

  "Hey, it takes two to tango," Carson pointed out. "We like to say that we started volunteering out of a sense of obligation to keep the world turning. But seriously. I believe we both did it because we didn't want to think about what awaited us at home."