“I know you feel your work has been wasted,” Other Nyx went on, her gaze sympathetic as she watched Gilleas. “But that’s not true. It gave the rest of us hope. In this living nightmare, when giving up and letting despair take us would have been easier, you gave us a reason to fight. To keep existing. In the hope that, one day, we will see the outside world again.”

  “But it was a lie,” Gilleas protested. “I gave you false hope.”

  “No.” Other Nyx firmly shook her head. “There is no such thing in Evenfall. We all hope for something better. And I will continue to hold out the hope that I will see the other side again. Which is why I will aid these strangers, because even if we fail, that belief will keep me going until the Dream ends and we all disappear.”

  “Come with us, Gilleas.” It was Varyn’s voice, shocking us all once more. The assassin moved into the center, golden eyes hard and fixed on the ancient Evenfaery. “You know more about Evenfall than anyone save the king. You know the secrets of the palace, and you’ve already found your way to the throne room once. You can either help us, or you can sit here and wait for the Dream to end, and for nonexistence to claim you.” He put a fist to his chest, anger and determination sparking in his gaze. “I, for one, will fight the Fading of the Dream as long as I can. Even if it means helping the thrice-cursed fey who did this to us in the first place.”

  It wasn’t correct, or fair, for him to blame us, but I understood his anger. And now was not the time for division. “We would appreciate your aid, Gilleas,” I said. “If there is a way to save Evenfall, we will find it. But we’re going to need all the help we can get.”

  Gilleas was silent, thinking. Finally, he sighed, bowing his head. “Perhaps I am wrong,” he murmured, more to himself now. “Perhaps these strangers will succeed where I have failed for millennia. My life’s work was for naught but...they have come from the other side. They are here in the Dream, and the Nevernever is aware again of Evenfall. We are no longer forgotten. Perhaps it will be enough.”

  He nodded to himself, then looked up at me. “Very well. I will join you then, queen of the Nevernever,” he said. “It might be impossible, but if you can somehow save Evenfall, then perhaps my work will have meant something after all.”

  “I am not the queen of the Nevernever,” I told him. “I am a queen of Faery, but I am not like the Lady. And I am grateful, Gilleas. If there is a way to save Evenfall, we will find it. And we will bring you all home, I promise.”

  Gilleas and the rest of the Evenfey regarded me in awed, somber silence. I, as a queen no less, had just evoked one of the sacred vows of Faery. One did not use the word promise without being absolutely certain they meant to carry it through. Fey who broke their word could unravel, lose themselves, and cease to exist, so making a vow was deadly serious in Faery. It seemed the rules in Evenfall were the same.

  The Evenfey were not that different from us, after all.

  Before anyone could say anything more, Keirran stepped forward, his expression somber. “I will add to that,” he told the Evenfey, who gazed at him in surprise. “I knew the Lady,” Keirran continued, “more personally than anyone here except Nyx. When she returned to the Nevernever, determined to take back her throne, I was at her side. I fought for her, and nearly destroyed Faery in the process.”

  He said this calmly, though I saw the veiled anguish and guilt in his eyes as he faced the Evenfey before us, and my throat closed up. He still hadn’t forgiven himself for what he had done in the war with the Forgotten. Perhaps he never would. I wished it could be different. Keirran had done terrible things, and his actions had left scars in Faery that would never heal, but I didn’t want my son to carry the burden of his mistakes with him his entire immortal life.

  “I know what the Lady was capable of,” Keirran went on. “How far she was willing to go to achieve her goals. She became the First Queen after erasing an entire world from existence. She was ready to destroy another to reclaim what she had lost. I am ashamed of the part I played in bringing her to power a second time, but what she has done to Evenfall is unforgivable. So let me, as King of the Forgotten, also make the promise to set things right, whatever it takes. If there is a way, I swear I will find it. I wish I could promise you more.”

  “Enough.” Gilleas held up a slender hand. “Please,” he rasped. “No more. No more promises. No more vows. It is too much. We are grateful, but I do not want to see the death of any who came to help us. Queen of...” He hesitated, looking at me. “I am sorry. If I am not to call you ‘queen of Faery,’ what is your proper title?” he asked.

  “The Iron Queen,” I replied softly. “Or, just call me Meghan.”

  “Iron Queen.” Gilleas nodded and bowed his head. “If we are to attempt this journey, I will be honest with you. As you are, you and your companions will not be strong enough to reach the king’s palace. Not with the amount of Elder Nightmares surrounding it. Not even the Order will be able to get through on their own. The path I took is not possible with multiple people. The only way to that door in the palace is to face the Nightmares.”

  I nodded. “We’re going to need magic, then. More than we have.”

  “We can teach you,” Other Nyx said. “We can show you how to harvest and use the Nightmare glamour, but that means...”

  “We’re going to have to kill some Nightmares,” Ash finished, and she nodded.

  “The small ones are not enough,” she went on. “Only the Elder Nightmares will have the amount of power that you’re looking for. The older and stronger they are, the more magic you’ll receive. Of course, going after the strongest Nightmares will be extremely dangerous. And the worst part is, if they kill you, you’ll become one of them yourself. So be very certain that this is the path you want to take. We can lead you to the Nightmares, we can even help you defeat them, but it could be deadly, for all of us.”

  “If you’re willing to help us, we will be very grateful,” I told the other assassin. “But this is something that we have to do. We’ll need to be at our full power, or close to it, if we want to face the Nightmare King.”

  She nodded gravely. “As you wish. Varyn...” She glanced at her husband, who straightened. “Go to the others. Explain what we’ll be doing. I’m leaving them all behind to guard the city, but you and I will go to help Gilleas and the Iron Queen.”

  Varyn didn’t look entirely pleased, but he didn’t argue, slipping out the door and vanishing from sight.

  Gilleas let out a long sigh and turned back to me. “If I am to embark on this journey to the palace, I will need time to prepare,” he said. “Allow me to refresh my knowledge of certain things, gather a few books, and I will be ready. I assume we will be heading to the Howling Peaks first?” he asked, looking at Other Nyx.

  “It’s the closest lair of a named Nightmare,” the Evenfaery replied. “I’m not looking forward to it, either, but it seems time is of the essence. The Wailing One is one of the few Elder Nightmares I know of.”

  “I will see if I can find anything on her.” Gilleas sighed. “The Wailing One has been around...for a very, very long time. I’m sure there are a few legends surrounding her.”

  “Oh, great,” said Puck. He had been so quiet this whole time, I was starting to worry about him. “A Nightmare called the Wailing One. Why do I get the feeling I’m going to need earplugs?”

  13

  WHISPERS IN THE LIBRARY

  The Great Library was well named, I found. After deciding our next course of action, Gilleas excused himself, saying he had research to do. He invited us to make ourselves at home but warned us not to venture too high up into the library.

  I discovered what he meant by “high up” a minute later.

  Following him through a small door in the wall, we entered the main library, and for a moment, all I could do was stare.

  The room we entered was massive and circular, an enormous tube that went straight up. There was no ceiling, or at least, none that I could see. Instead, hundreds, maybe thousands, of ladders and catwalks crisscrossed the space overhead, looking like a spiderweb of wood and rope. Along the walls, spiraling up as far as I could see, were rows and rows and rows of books. Tiny figures moved along the catwalks and scurried up and down the ladders, too far away to see clearly, though I caught flashes of huge eyes and papery wings. On the ground floor, another maze of shelves loomed around us, dim and shadowy. Beyond the aisles, I could hear the rustle of paper, the whisper of books being slid back into place, and the soft pattering of feet, though I never saw the fey responsible.

  “Hopefully this will not take long,” Gilleas said, weaving through the aisles to the center of the room. A massive pillar, filled with child-sized holes, rose into the air like an enormous termite mound. Gilleas walked around the pillar and tapped lightly on the walls with his long, pointed fingers.

  “The Wailing One,” he said into one of the holes. His voice echoed, seeming to reverberate up the pillar and exit through the dozens of openings above us. “Named Elder Nightmare who makes her lair in the Howling Peaks. I need any information available—myth, story, or actual facts. As soon as possible, please.”

  For a moment, there was nothing. Then, with the flutter of wings, a trio of creatures flew out of the pillar through one of the many holes. From the brief glimpse I caught of them, they looked like piskies, but more mothlike than the dragonfly-winged fey I was used to. Their green, softly glowing wings were wide and papery, their eyes black and bulbous, and feathery antenna could be seen curling from their foreheads. They flitted into the air, leaving trails of glowing dust in their wake, and disappeared into the endless space above us.

  “The Keepers of Words,” Gilleas explained with a wave of his talon. “They know every book, every tome and scroll and tablet, that is kept within these walls. The only challenge is being specific enough in your request to make them understand what you are looking for.”

  “Huh,” Puck remarked, watching the moth creatures fly through the room, a sly grin on his face. “So, what would happen if I just shouted ‘cats’ into one of these holes here?”

  “You would be crushed under a virtual landslide of books and texts,” Gilleas said flatly. “And the keepers would be extremely annoyed. Please refrain from aggravating them—they have perfect memories and would remember your request forever.”

  With a soft flutter, one of the moth creatures spiraled down, a leather-bound journal in its arms. Gilleas raised a hand, and the keeper dropped the book into his talons before flitting off again.

  “Before we start out, I will do a little research on the Elder Nightmare we must face,” the spindly Evenfaery told me. “I don’t know how much I will learn, but even a little preparation is better than none.”

  “Of course,” I told him. “Take your time, Gilleas.”

  “Maybe not too much time,” Puck echoed, and glanced at me. “I mean, I know certain people who can get lost in a book and completely forget they were supposed to meet their best friend that afternoon.”

  “I will send a messenger for you when I am done,” Gilleas replied, and looked around at the rest of us. The naked deer skull did not give away any emotion, but I could feel his hesitancy. “Feel free to use the library, but remember, be as specific as you can when requesting aid from the Keepers of Words. I once spent the entire night trying to get out of my lab after the keepers dropped every book they had on ‘ritual knives’ in front of my door.”

  Another pair of fey drifted down, one handing Gilleas a book, the other a rolled-up sheet of parchment. Tucking all three texts under one long arm, Gilleas nodded to us once more and glided off, the pointed tips of his legs making virtually no noise on the wooden floor. I glanced around and noted that Other Nyx had vanished as well. Grimalkin, unsurprisingly, was gone, so it was just me and those I had come into Evenfall with. Ash, Keirran, Nyx, and Puck.

  Puck watched Gilleas leave, then shot an evil grin at the pillar once more. “How about cheeses, then?” he asked no one in particular. “How much information do you think this place has on cheese?”

  “Puck.” I sighed, but at that moment, our Nyx let out a quiet breath and turned away, and immediately Puck’s attention shifted to the assassin.

  “Nyx.” He took a step toward her, his joking demeanor gone. “You okay?”

  “Evenfall is gone.” Nyx didn’t turn around, and her voice was flat. “It really did Fade away. None of this is real. I...” She paused, then turned to glance back at us, her expression carefully neutral. “I’m sorry. I...need some time to think.”

  “Nyx, wait,” Puck began, but the Evenfaery slipped into one of the mazelike aisles surrounding us and vanished from sight, like her counterpart.

  “Dammit.” Puck winced running both hands through his hair, and gave us a hopeless look. “You know, normally I’m better at this sort of thing,” he admitted, scratching the back of his head, “but I think if I try to cheer her up now, she’s just going to stab me. Honestly, I...don’t even know what I could say to her.”

  “Is that the reason?” Ash asked, making Puck blink at him in confusion. “You’ve been acting strange, Goodfellow,” Ash went on. “Ever since we met the other Nyx and Varyn. You’re not usually this antagonistic to those who are trying to help us.” His eyes narrowed, and he glanced in the direction Nyx had vanished. “Is there something about Varyn we don’t know?”

  “Yeah, you could say that, but...” Puck’s lips tightened. “It’s not my story to tell,” he said, crossing his arms. “Let’s just say I don’t trust the guy. And I hate what running into him again is doing to Nyx. I don’t know if she wants to see me right now, or if it’s better if I leave her alone.” He raked his fingers through his hair again, a pained look crossing his face. “This is a pretty screwed-up situation all around.”

  It was, and we would have to deal with the Varyn/Nyx situation eventually, but right now, one of our friends had just learned something devastating about herself and her world. “Go after her, Puck,” I urged. “Don’t try to cheer her up or say anything funny. You don’t have to say anything at all. Just let her know you’re there.”

  “Yeah.” Puck looked down the shadowy aisle. “I... Yeah. That’s... I’ll do that.”

  He walked into the aisle after Nyx, turned a corner, and disappeared from sight. Leaving me to wonder what terrible secret he was keeping from us. There had to be a reason that Puck didn’t trust Varyn. What did he know about the Evenfaery? Would it put us or the mission in danger?

  I sighed, knowing there was nothing we could do about it now. “I hope they’ll be all right,” I murmured. “This has to be a shock for them.”

  “For everyone,” Keirran said, his brow furrowed in sympathy. “I can’t imagine what the Evenfey are thinking right now. Suddenly realizing that their whole world is...” He trailed off for a moment, eyes tightening even further. “How could the Lady do this to them?”

  Ash turned to me, and in the dimness of the library, his silver gaze suddenly knew far too much. “What about you?” he asked. “How are you holding up?”

  I’m fine, I started to say automatically, but the words caught in my throat. My mind was racing, thinking of Gilleas, Other Nyx, Varyn, and the terrible truth of Evenfall.

  A dream. We were inside the Dream of the Nightmare King. His last-ditch, certainly desperate, attempt to keep his world and his people alive. I remembered Grimalkin’s warning from earlier regarding the ruler of this world. That the Nightmare King had gone mad with his dreams and forced slumber and now knew only rage, grief, and destruction.

  But that didn’t quite make sense with the story I knew now. The Evenfey revered the Nightmare King; they didn’t speak of him as some terrible demigod of violence and anger. Unless he had changed and was no longer the king they knew.

  I was floundering. In the past, even when we had been on an impossible mission, facing impossible odds, the path had always been clear. Fight the invading army. Defeat the one who led them. Find the Scepter and bring it back to Faery. Go into the Iron Realm and kill the Iron King. But now, the path wasn’t just unclear, it wasn’t there at all. I had no idea what we could do, for Evenfall, the dreams that lived here, even the Nightmare King himself. If we killed him, the Dream would end. Mad or not, if the king woke up, the Dream would end. The only other option was to make certain the king remained asleep and dreaming, but that didn’t feel like a good solution, either. Would the Nightmare King just remain in perpetual slumber, dreaming of his lost world and people, for eternity?

  Ash calmly took my hand and, after a quick glance at Keirran, who gave us a nod, led me into an aisle away from the main pillar. I followed until we were in an isolated corner, surrounded by narrow shelves of books. A moth-eaten sofa was shoved against the wall, a softly glowing lamp sitting on a stand beside it. Ash stood in front of me, silver eyes soft, his gaze questioning. If it had been anyone else, I would have banished the frustrated tears starting to form behind my lids. Let the mask of the Iron Queen fall into place. But with him, it was useless to hide anything, even if I’d wanted to.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked softly.

  “I just... I feel lost, Ash,” I admitted. “I don’t know how we’re going to fix this. I’m concerned about Puck and Nyx, and what they might know about Varyn. And I’m terrified of what Keirran might do to save them all.”

  “I know,” Ash said. “I’m worried about them, too. But there’s nothing we can do about Varyn, and Keirran knows not to promise the impossible anymore. He has learned from what happened with the Forgotten and the Lady. I heard what he said earlier. ‘If there is a way to save Evenfall, we will find it. I wish I could promise you more.’ He knows that what we’re attempting might not be possible, and he gave himself enough of an out—barely—to not break his promise should we fail. As for the rest of it...” He sighed. “Whatever happens, we’ll get through it. We’ll find a way, together.”