“Tell me why I shouldn’t do it. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t do it,” Elijah said.

  “If I give you one reason, you won’t do it?”

  “One reason besides I’m throwing my life away. I have too much going for myself. I know all of that shit.”

  “Do you think Virgil would have wanted this.” Brandon exchanged glances with Elijah.

  “Do you think Virgil wanted to die?”

  There was a long silence before Brandon said, “I got another reason.”

  “What?”

  “Who’s gonna be here with Auntie Khadijah?”

  “Huh?”

  “If you murder him, you’re going to prison—if he don’t kill you first. So who’s gonna be there for your mom?”

  Elijah hadn’t thought about that at all, and he knew Brandon was right. There would be nobody to be there with his mother. His biological aunts weren’t distant, but they weren’t as close as they used to be. Ever since Elijah had been a kid, it had just been him, Virgil and Khadijah. They were family, and now with Virgil gone, it was just Khadijah and him.

  “Good point.”

  Brandon sighed. “So you’re not going to do it?”

  Elijah grinned. “Wrong, I’m still going to do it. I just have to make sure I don’t get caught.”

  Chapter 9

  Elijah tossed and turned the whole night. His mind raced with thoughts of Virgil and the gun. And what would Virgil think if he knew he had a gun? Would he be proud that he was actually planning revenge? He didn’t believe that Virgil would be proud. The fact the gun was there to get revenge was how he justified the gun to himself. He didn’t start the beef, but he would finish it. The box-shaped digital clock on the nightstand read 4:23 a.m. The gun next to him made him feel fearless enough to protect him and his mother. He actually felt safer than he’d felt when Virgil was alive. Yeah, he’d gotten beat up by Michelle Henly years earlier, but he was a force now and he had a gun. Elijah remembered Virgil being mad at him for fighting Michelle. Virg had taught him never to fight girls. But Elijah had explained to him that Michelle was the one that had actually started the fight. Then Virg realized that Elijah needed fighting lessons. Virgil had worried about him not being able to defend himself. He’d given him a few boxing lessons. Virgil always taught Elijah things. He taught him how to swim, how to play baseball and basketball, and even coached his flag football team. He had even encouraged Elijah to take Coach Harper up on his offer to join the wrestling team. Virgil had wanted Elijah to be an athlete, but Elijah just didn’t gravitate toward sports like he did to academics. Elijah preferred the band. He liked playing chess and playing around with computers and he loved the robotics club. He was decent in sports, but it just wasn’t him, and when Virgil had realized that Elijah didn’t want to be an athlete, he’d said, “Elijah, you’re a blerd.”

  “A blerd?”

  “A black nerd.”

  “Yeah, I think I am. Are you upset with me?”

  Virgil laughed before taking Elijah into his arms then kissed his forehead. “I can never be mad at you, son. I’m proud of you.”

  “You know what I’m going to do for you since I know what you like?”

  “What is it?”

  “I’m going to teach you how to be a better chess player and I found a computer programming class for kids. If you’re going to be a nerd, you going to be the best nerd ever.” And Virgil worked with Elijah every day teaching him chess until there was nothing else he could teach him. Elijah would beat Virgil four out of five times then he’d gotten him a chess coach. Now Elijah was the best chess player at the school.

  Virgil and Khadijah tutored Elijah in math until the math became too complicated for them. Virgil would devour videos on YouTube to learn the math. But after a year of this, he relented and hired a tutor for Elijah, not to help him but to keep him enthusiastic and build his confidence even more. Virgil had accepted him and loved him for what he was and that had meant a lot to Elijah. When he woke the next morning, he hid the gun inside the dresser and ran downstairs to find Khadijah crying.

  “What’s wrong, Mom?”

  “The landlord was here.”

  “Why was he here? Is there something broken?”

  “He was here to tell us that we’ve been evicted.”

  “Evicted!” Elijah frowned. “Why?”

  “Because there was a write-up about Virgil in the paper and they’d given his address. The property owner found out that Virgil was living here.”

  “Huh?” Elijah said with raised eyebrows.

  “We have subsidized housing because I’d said I was a single mom.”

  “But Mr. Parker knew.”

  “Mr. Parker doesn’t own the house, son. Someone else does.”

  “But Virgil was the victim.”

  “Doesn’t matter, son. We broke the terms of the lease.”

  Khadijah took Elijah into her arms “We’re going to be okay whether we get to stay or not.”

  Khadijah stared at Elijah’s outfit. He was wearing a sweatshirt and shorts. “Where are you going?”

  “To the park.”

  “Have you eaten breakfast?”

  “I’ll eat later.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Nobody’s at the park. It’s the middle of the school day.”

  “I’m fifteen. Nothing is going to happen to me.”

  “You’re a baby.”

  “I’m a teenager.” He smiled. “But I know you’ve always told me that I’ll always be your baby.”

  “You damn right.”

  “I just want to get a couple of rounds of pull-ups and push-ups in.”

  “Where’s your phone, boy?”

  “In my pocket,” he said as he patted his pocket.

  “Call me if you have any trouble with anyone.”

  “I’ve been to the park a million times and nothing has happened to me.”

  “What about that time you were in a fight with that tall girl?”

  “Michelle Henly? You know how long ago that was?” Elijah said.

  “Yeah.”

  “That was years ago. She’s pregnant now. Besides, I’m much stronger than her now.”

  “Elijah, we don’t fight girls.”

  “I’m not looking to fight anyone. Michelle and I are cool.”

  “Be careful, Elijah. Come here and give me a hug.”

  “There is nothing to worry about.”

  Chapter 10

  Elijah sat behind some shrubbery in the path behind Crackhead Dianne’s house. He noticed that the blinds were peeled back like someone had been looking out the window. Crackhead Dianne’s home was a trap for drug dealers. The heaviness of the steel weapon in his waistband was wearing him down. He removed the gun from his underwear, cocked it, and smiled. He felt powerful. He squatted and then placed the gun on the dirt before tightening the laces on his Air Max shoes in case he needed to run. He didn’t want to run out of his shoes.

  His heart was pounding like a bongo drum. He still couldn’t believe he had a gun in his possession. A gun with real bullets. Sweat beads trickled down from his forehead into his eyes. He stood for a moment before plopping his butt down on a mound of dirt and toyed with his shoe laces again. His phone vibrated—a text from his mom.

  Mom: Is everything okay, baby?

  Elijah: I’m fine, Mom. I’ll be home in a few.

  Mom: Okay. I have to take you to Mrs. Yang to get your pants hemmed.

  Elijah: I’ll be home in an hour.

  Mom: K

  The back door of Crackhead Dianne’s house creaked. “Don’t Play With It ” by Lola Brooke came roaring through the door then the music lowered and there was arguing between a male and a female.

  “Hey, you are going to either have to stay in or out,” the man said. Elijah recognized both voices. Major and Dianne. He remembered Major’s voice from watching the older boys play basketball and Crackhead Dianne had attended high school with his mom. They’d been friends until Dianne hijacked her debit card from her purse.

  The arguing continued. “How are you going to tell me to stay in or out of my own home?”

  “This is my house now. Have you forgotten that I paid you?” They stepped outside. Crackhead Dianne was in a silky pajama set and brown fluffy bedroom slippers. Her skin was an alluring color of light brown, and her hair was long and silky but damaged at the roots. She had been a beautiful woman once, but now she was frail and her teeth had a grayish tint.

  Major was a short guy, with an egg-shaped head and a rail-thin body. He was dressed in a gray sweat suit and blue Nike running shoes.

  “Cuz you gave me a few dollars, you think you can take over my house?”

  “Close the door,” Major said.

  “You don’t tell me to close my door.”

  He placed his finger over her mouth to shush her. “Come back inside. We don’t need the whole ‘hood hearing us.”

  “I want you out of my house. You said you just wanted to stay one night and you’ve been here three nights. I don’t want to get kicked out of my house or to go to jail for aiding and abedding a fugitive.”

  “Abetting,” Elijah whispered to himself. A bad habit of his was correcting mispronounced words and grammar and this drove his friends’ nuts.

  Elijah thought about running up to the backdoor and shooting Dianne in the back then bursting through the door and blasting Major in the chest.

  “Come inside,” Major said.

  “Ain’t nuthin to talk ‘bout less you going to get out my house,” Dianne said.

  He took hold of her arm.

  “Let my arm go.”

  “Come in the house.”

  “Let go of my arm. I’m going to scream motherfucka.”

  He held onto her arm until she broke free. “I’m going to get my brother. He’ll get you out of here.” Dianne struck out in the direction of the bushes.

  “Come back here!” Major yelled.

  She ignored him and kept running. Elijah heard footsteps coming in his direction. He stood and dropped the gun before kneeling to pick it up, and when he stood, he met Dianne’s eyes. He quickly stuffed the gun into his pocket. They both just stared at one another before Dianne spoke. “You’re Khadijah’s son.”

  “Yeah.”

  “What are you doing back here?”

  “Look, it’s not what you think? I’m not gonna to hurt you, Dianne.”

  “I know. Your daddy got himself in some mess that he shouldn’t have gotten into.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “A drug debt.”

  Elijah laughed. “My dad doesn’t do drugs.”

  “You’re right.”

  “You’re not making any sense.”

  They heard the back door of Dianne’s house open. Major yelled out, “Get back in here, Dianne!”

  “Look, you need to go. I don’t know what you were planning on doing back here. I don’t know what kind of gun you got, but I can tell you right now you don’t have what he got.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Do you have an AR-15?”

  “He shot my Dad with an AR-15?”

  “No he didn’t shoot your father with an AR-15, but he’s afraid Elijah and he doesn’t want to go to prison.”

  Elijah had never seen an AR-15 in real life, but if it was anything like it was on Call of Duty, he was no match for Major unless Major didn’t see him coming.

  Elijah didn’t respond.

  “Go home now before you get yourself hurt,” Dianne pleaded.

  Elijah struck out running toward the direction of his house. Elijah didn’t look back. He kept running as fast as he could. Sweat droplets blanketed Elijah’s baby face. When he entered the house, he found his mom along with Daniel’s mom Cherise and Daniel’s five-year-old brother Owen.

  “Elijah!” Owen yelled.

  Elijah rubbed the younger boy’s head and Owen hugged Elijah’s leg

  “Elijah, are you going to show me how to play Fortnite? Daniel said you’re the best,” Owen asked.

  “Maybe some other time, Owen. Not right now.” Elijah was still breathing hard from running home but he lifted Owen over his head. Owen was laughing hard when Elijah put him down.

  “Pick me up again, Elijah.”

  Khadijah said, “What’s wrong with you, Elijah?”

  “Nothing is wrong. Why do you ask?”

  “Why are you sweating and breathing so hard?” she asked.

  “I was running.”

  “Running from who?”

  “From no-one, Mom. I told you I’d been exercising so I decided to run home.”

  Khadijah rolled her eyes. “What’s up with all of this exercise?”

  “Keeps my mind off Virgil. I saw a video on Tik-Tok where a guy was saying that the best way to get your mind off the death of a loved one was to keep busy with work and exercise. Since I’m not in school, I’ve decided to work out,” Elijah lied.

  “What did I tell you about social media?”

  “Mom are we really discussing social media right now?”

  Elijah turned toward Cherise. “Auntie,” Elijah said. Cherise smiled before embracing Elijah.

  “You have something bulging from your waist?” Cherise asked.

  She’d spotted the gun. How could he have been so stupid?

  “Yeah, just a hand gripper. Well, it belonged to Virgil but I took it to the park.”

  “What the heck is a hand gripper?”

  “You know, it makes your hands and wrists strong?” Elijah said.

  “Bruh, you’re acting weird,” Khadijah said.

  “I don’t think so,” His father just died, Cherise said. “He’s coping the best way he can.”

  “Elijah, where is your video game?” Khadijah asked.

  “What game?”

  “Your PlayStation. Now, you see that’s what I mean about acting weird.”

  “PlayStation is not the game, Mom. It’s the console.”

  “Well, you know what I meant,” Khadijah huffed. “I didn’t see it in your room. I was going to let Owen play with it while we talked, but when we went up to your room I didn’t see it.”

  “You really were going to let a five-year-old play with my game unsupervised? No offense, Auntie Cherise.”

  “I told her it was a bad idea, Elijah,” Cherise said. “Owen breaks everything that he touches.”

  “Very bad idea, Mom,” Elijah said.

  “Where is the game console?” Khadijah asked.

  “I took it to Mr. Ali. He said he was going to fix it for me.”

  “What’s wrong with it and when did you take it to him?”

  “I had Brandon take it yesterday. The controller needs to be reset. It does that from time to time.”

  “Okay, so how much is this going to cost me?”

  “I have money saved up, Mom. I wouldn’t ask you to pay for my game to get repaired.”

  “I need you to go shower, you smell like outside. You’re coming with me to Mrs. Yang’s to get the pants hemmed for the funeral.”

  Chapter 11

  Daniel and Brandon waited on the porch until Elijah and Khadija returned from Mrs. Yang’s.

  Khadijah hugged the boys then disappeared into the house.

  Daniel extended his hand to Elijah.

  “I’m sorry about yesterday,” Elijah said.

  “I don’t want you to throw your life away,” Daniel said.

  “I know you just want what’s best for me.”

  “Hey, a girl got raped last night in the path leading to the Candy Lady’s house,” Daniel said.

  “Damn, that’s crazy. Did you know her?”

  “I think her name was Brittany or something like that.”

  “There are two Brittanys.”

  “Actually three,” Brandon said.

  “This one is tall.”

  “Oh, her name is Britnee. Different spelling,” Elijah said.

  “But all pronounced the same,” Brandon said.

  “Britnee and I were in kindergarten together. In Mrs. Cromwell’s class. Me, her, and JJ.” Elijah turned to Brandon. “You were in that class, right?”

  “Yeah, I came in the middle of the year.”

  “Wait a minute! She’s fifteen?” Daniel said.

  “She’s a smart girl, but she’s flirty. Mama used to tell me to stay away from her because she acts grown.”

  “My cousin’s fifteen-year-old stepbrother Calvin raped her.”

  Elijah narrowed his eyes. “And why are you telling me this?”

  Daniel shrugged. “I’m just saying things are happening around here, and they are happening fast. We’re growing up, and the choices we make now will impact the rest of our lives.”

  “Virgilism,” Brandon said.

  “No Danielism,” Daniel said.

  “More like an adage,” Elijah said. “What teacher hasn’t told us this for the last two years?”

  “Adages are adages for a reason. Because they have truth to them,” Daniel said.

  “I’m just simply pointing out that there is nothing profound about what you’re saying,” Elijah said.

  “Auntie Khadijah said we’re not cute little boys anymore. A fifteen-year-old black kid is a grown man in society’s eyes,” Brandon said.

  “We’re at the age where we choose our crowd. Where our decisions count.”

  “Bruh, you’re getting on my nerves with this goody-two-shoes stuff. Shit that I already know,” Elijah said.

  “None of us are going to make it out of here without scars, but we don’t have to be scared.”