Exhaustion started to set in at around three in the morning because anger could only fuel me for so long. There were two safe houses in Chicago, so I opted to go to one of them instead of returning to the command center. I was too tired to deal with Hamid and all his bullshit without following through on my threat to castrate him.

  A warrior I didn’t know opened the door and admitted me into the safehouse. He didn’t ask why I was there instead of at the command center, for which I was grateful. I was not in the mood to explain my actions to anyone.

  “I made a few kills tonight that require cleanup,” I told him wearily. “You think you could send someone to take care of that?”

  “Yeah. It’s been a slow night.”

  “Not for me.” I told him where all my kills were located, and his eyes widened. Then he pointed me to the shower and a bedroom I could crash in.

  “Thanks.”

  I always carried a change of clothes in my saddle bag, so at least I had something clean to sleep in. Amazingly, I was out not long after my head hit the pillow.

  I half expected to wake up to Hamid beating down the door like a caveman, but I woke midmorning to a quiet house. In the kitchen, I found cereal and milk and had a quick breakfast before I decided I should turn on my phone.

  I winced when I saw all the missed calls and texts from Sara and Beth. Taking off without telling them I was okay was a shitty thing for a friend to do, and I was going to have to do some groveling when I saw them.

  Instead of reading their messages, I sent off a quick group text letting them know I was still alive and I’d see them soon. I didn’t ask about Hamid. There were missed calls from him, too, but he didn’t deserve a reply from me.

  It was almost noon when I finally returned to the command center. I heaved a sigh of relief when I didn’t feel Hamid’s presence there. I was going to have to face him eventually, but I was happy to put off that meeting as long as possible.

  I could hear voices in the control room, but I encountered no one as I walked to my room. Good. I’d rather not talk to anyone until after I showered and got out of the clothes I’d slept in.

  I was getting out of the shower when I felt Hamid in the building and coming closer. I dried off in record time and pulled on a pair of worn jeans and a soft T-shirt. I didn’t bother to check if my door was locked, because that wouldn’t stop him if he was determined to have it out with me. I sat in the middle of my bed with my back to the headboard and waited.

  The jerk didn’t even bother to knock. He opened the door and walked in as if he owned the place. His expression was darker than a thundercloud, and he stood in the middle of my room with his arms crossed, looking like he was the one who should be pissed off.

  I opened my mouth to tell him what I thought of him, but he cut me off.

  “No,” he growled. “You will not speak a word until you hear what I have to say.”

  “I don’t want to hear anything from you,” I shot back.

  The furrows in his brow deepened, and his voice hardened in warning. “If I have to, I will hold you down and make you listen to me. After what you put me through last night, you’re lucky I don’t put you over my knee.”

  I sputtered furiously. What I had put him through? “I’d like to see you try, you whoring –”

  The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back with Hamid straddling my hips. I tried to buck him off, but he was immovable. I punched him in the chest, and he grabbed both of my hands and trapped them in one of his.

  Someone knocked on my door and opened it. “Hey, I heard you were back and…” Sara’s voice trailed off, and her mouth formed an O at the sight of Hamid sitting on top of me. “I can see you’re busy. I’ll come back later,” she said with a little grin as she shut the door.

  Great. I glared daggers at Hamid while he took his time getting around to saying whatever it was he’d come to say.

  “I’ll get to that stunt you pulled last night in a bit,” he said in a tight voice. “First, we are going to talk about what you thought you saw at the witch’s house.”

  “No explanation is necessary. I know what I –”

  His free hand covered my mouth, silencing me. “You saw me kissing another woman, and I know it must have looked bad.”

  I scoffed loudly under his hand. If that was just kissing, I’d hate to hear what his idea of second base was.

  “What you don’t know, because you took off before anyone could tell you, was that I had no idea who I was kissing. Seraphine used a spell to glamour me and tricked me into it.”

  I stared at him, stunned. A spell?

  “She was flirtatious when I interviewed her, but nothing that crossed the line. I remember walking to the door to leave, and the next thing I knew, I was on the couch and Sara and Nikolas were there, telling me what happened.”

  A big part of me wanted to believe him, but a niggling voice in my head said a witch’s glamour couldn’t possibly trick a Mori into touching someone it wasn’t bonded to.

  “Likely story,” I mumbled into his palm.

  Hamid expelled a frustrated breath. “Seraphine is a powerful witch who specializes in love spells. She can pull faces from your memories and make you see anyone she wants you to see.”

  I moved my head to indicate I wanted to speak, and he lifted his hand from my mouth.

  “Oh, really. And what face did you see that made you so ready to drop your pants?”

  He leaned down until his face was inches above mine. “Yours.”

  Chapter 15

  My mouth fell open, and I searched for something to say, but my mind had deserted me.

  Hamid lowered his head, and his lips brushed my bottom one with a tenderness I did not expect, based on our one and only kiss. I didn’t breathe as he tasted my lip a second time before gently tugging it between his teeth. He released it and soothed it with his tongue, sending a delicious shiver through me.

  Needing more, I lifted my head to fit my mouth to his. He released my hands and rested his forearms on either side of my head, caging me in. Then he kissed me long and deep, his tongue dancing with mine as my body arched beneath him and my arms curled around his neck, holding him in place.

  His lips left mine, and I made a sound of protest that was quickly muffled when his mouth began to explore my jaw. I tilted my head to one side to give him access to my throat, and he accepted my silent invitation.

  He shifted his body as his lips blazed a trail over my collarbone and to where the bottom of the V in my neckline rested between my breasts. The scratch of his soft beard against my skin had me gasping with each brush of his lips.

  I was acutely aware I wasn’t wearing a bra, and his low growl of appreciation told me he’d just discovered that. My blood felt like it was on fire when he rose up enough to hook the bottom of my T-shirt and push it up, baring my breasts to him. The moan I’d been holding back was ripped from me when he dipped his head and took one of my nipples into his mouth.

  A small part of my brain told me I had to stop this, but the desire burning through me drowned it out. All I could think about was getting rid of these clothes between us and feeling his hard, naked body against mine. Just the thought made me writhe against him, moaning his name.

  Hamid lifted his head, and his eyes were dark with lust when they met mine. “Tell me you want this,” he said huskily. “If we go any further, I’m not going to stop until I have all of you.”

  It took several seconds for his words to sink in, and cold pricked me when I realized what I’d almost done. If he hadn’t spoken up, I would have given in to my desire and bound myself to him.

  I closed my eyes and let out a ragged breath. “I can’t.”

  He pulled my shirt down and rolled off me. The only sound in the room was our heavy breathing as we lay beside each other.

  For the first time in my life, I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t know if I should get up and leave or wait for him to go.

  Hamid wasn’t in any hurry to leave. After five minutes of staring at the ceiling, I turned my head toward him and found him with an arm over his eyes. Guilt made my throat tighten. Twice, I’d let things go too far between us, and then I’d pushed him away. What was wrong with me?

  “I’m sorry,” I said in a low voice.

  He lifted his arm and looked at me without a trace of the resentment or anger I’d expected to see in his eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

  I swallowed hard. “I shouldn’t have led you on.”

  “I kissed you first,” he said roughly. “You don’t have to lead me on to make me want you.”

  My chest constricted at his admission, and I faced the ceiling again so he couldn’t see the effect his words had on me. “Don’t say things like that.”

  “Why? Because you don’t wish to hear that I want you, or you’re afraid to admit you feel the same for me?”

  I shook my head. “No, I mean…yes, I want you, but it’s just the bond making us –”

  His strong fingers touched my chin and forced me to meet his eyes. “Are you saying you did not desire me before we bonded?”

  I thought back to the first time I’d laid eyes on him, and I flushed at the memory of how many times he’d starred in my fantasies since then. I cleared my throat. “Physical attraction means nothing. Neither of us wants a mate, remember?”

  His gaze burned into mine. “Don’t we?”

  What was he saying? A month ago, he couldn’t stand me, and now he wanted to have me as his mate?

  “I don’t want a mate,” I said in a rush.

  “You fear what you think you’ll have to give up if you take one.” His thumb stroked my jaw, distracting me. “Answer me this. Would you have been as upset about what you saw at Seraphine’s if all you felt for me was a physical attraction?”

  I twisted out of his hold to look away before he saw the truth in my eyes. Seeing him with that woman had gutted me because I did care about him, more than I wanted to admit to myself. In my heart, I knew he was the perfect mate for me, but a part of me refused to let go of the future I’d always envisioned, the one that didn’t include a mate.

  Hamid’s sigh was barely audible. “It’s okay if you’re not ready to answer that yet.”

  I sat up, keeping my back to him, and would have stood if he hadn’t captured one of my hands with his.

  “We still have one thing to discuss,” he said, tugging me back down to the bed.

  I tried to pull my hand away to no avail. “What?”

  He rolled to his side to face me. “I understand why you were upset and angry yesterday, but staying out all night like that and going after those kills alone was reckless. And then you threw away your trackers and turned off your phone.” He sucked in a breath and let it out. “Nikolas and I spent most of the night looking for you because you wouldn’t answer your phone and we had no idea if you were in trouble. It wasn’t until you showed up at the safehouse that we stopped searching.”

  My brows pulled down. “How did you know I was at the safehouse?”

  “We sent word to every warrior in the city to keep an eye out for you and to contact us the minute you were spotted.”

  “Great. You make me sound like a runaway child.”

  “You were behaving like one,” he retorted. “You’re lucky Nikolas talked me out of going to the safehouse after you. The mood I was in, I really would have put you over my knee.”

  The promise in his voice told me he would have done just that. A little thrill shot through me at the image my mind conjured.

  “Now that we know we are up against Alaron, we have to be more vigilant and careful,” Hamid said. “We have no idea where he will show up. You angered him when you stood up to him, and he would take pleasure in torturing and killing you.”

  The anguish in his voice made my chest feel like it was in a vise as guilt and shame pressed down on me.

  His fingers flexed around mine. “We kept your disappearing act from the Council, but if they get wind of it, they will demand a security detail for us, or worse. They are already on edge since learning about Kai and Alaron.”

  I swallowed dryly at the thought of being locked away for my own protection. And my actions didn’t only affect me. Where one of us went, the other had to go. I couldn’t do that to him.

  I turned on my side to face him. “I’m so sorry I put you through that,” I said hoarsely. “It won’t happen again.”

  His free hand cupped the side of my face. “I’m sorry you were hurt. I would never do that intentionally.”

  “I know.”

  We gazed at each other until I broke our stare. “Um, I should go get started on the reports for last night.” The last thing I wanted to do was write up reports, but it felt too good lying here like this with him and it wouldn’t take much for us to pick up where we’d left off.

  His smile told me he knew exactly why I was in a hurry to go. Anyone who spent more than a day with me knew I’d rather clean toilets than do reports.

  He let go of my hand, and I rolled off the bed like it was on fire. I ignored his low chuckle as I went to the closet to find shoes – and a bra. Behind me, I heard the bed creak and then the sound of the door opening.

  “I’ll be in meetings most of the afternoon,” he said. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Okay,” I called without looking at him.

  The door clicked shut.

  I sank down to the floor with my head in my hands. “I’m so screwed.”

  * * *

  “Hamid was livid when he realized what happened,” Sara said as we sat in the living room, catching up later that afternoon. “Seraphine was cowering in the corner, and I had to calm her down while Nikolas kept Hamid from losing it.”

  I sneered at the mention of the witch. “She would have been unconscious if I’d known the truth, so it’s better for her that I left when I did.”

  Sara nodded. “I think she knows to never mess with another Mohiri warrior, especially a bonded one. And I told her if I ever hear of her seducing men against their will, I’ll make sure she never does magic again.”

  “You can do that?”

  “Yes. It’s something Eldeorin taught me for after the baby comes. He said she’ll have trouble controlling her power at first, so I’ll have to bind her to keep her from hurting anyone. It works on anyone with magic.”

  “Too bad we can’t use something like that on Alaron,” I said, thinking how binding him from doing magic would erase that threat. “Not even Orias, Ciro, and Bastien working together could bind him.”

  Sara tapped her fingers on the armrest. “Warlock magic is strengthened by their demons, so it makes sense they’d have trouble going up against an archdemon.”

  “What about Eldeorin? Doesn’t Fae power cancel out demon magic?”

  “Not an archdemon’s.” She smiled ruefully. “I already asked him about it, and apparently, it’s a bit of a sore subject with him.”

  “Oh,” I said, deflated.

  “But he said he’ll try to make us a weapon to use against Alaron.”

  Hope flickered to life inside me again. “A Fae weapon? How would that work against an archdemon if Fae power won’t work?”

  “I’m not sure. I don’t even know if it’s possible.” Sara’s face clouded, and she placed a hand over her bump. “Nikolas is afraid for me and the baby. He wants me to promise to go to Faerie if the worst should happen.” Tears sparkled in her eyes. “How could I ever leave him here to face that alone?”

  “You won’t have to,” I promised fiercely. After everything she and Nikolas had gone through to be together, I wouldn’t let some demon destroy their happiness. “We know who we are dealing with now, and if he could have brought the barrier down, he would have done it already. We’ll find him again and send him back to hell before he knows what hit him.”

  She gave me a watery smile. “I really wish I could hug you right now.”

  “This from the girl who hated PDAs a few years ago,” I teased. “When all this is over, you can hug the crap out of me.”

  “I’m going to hold you to that.” A laugh slipped from her.

  “Let’s talk about something less depressing,” I said, glad to see the worry leave her eyes.

  Her smile turned devious. “Why don’t you tell me why Hamid was pinning you to your bed when I walked in?” She made a face. “Sorry about that, by the way.”

  I waved it off. “That was just his way of making me listen to him while he explained what happened at Seraphine’s.”

  “Well, you did punch him in the face and then threatened to castrate him,” she reminded me cheerily. “It’s no wonder he wanted to restrain you.”

  I grinned. “I did, didn’t I?”

  “Are things better between you and him now?”

  “As good as they can be I guess,” I said vaguely, remembering my conversation with Hamid earlier. “I no longer want to cut off his body parts.”

  “I’m sure he’s relieved to know that,” said Nikolas, whom we hadn’t heard come in. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and turned to me. “You look like you’re in better shape than Hamid was this morning.”

  “I know, I know. He already read me the riot act.”

  “Good.” Nikolas held up two fingers an inch apart. “You were this close to getting your own security detail.”

  I groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

  Nikolas grew serious. “You had a lot of people worried last night. Sara wouldn’t go to bed until I told her you were at the safehouse.”

  My gaze shifted guiltily to Sara. She could barely stay up past ten these days, so she must have been worried sick to stay up that late. “I’m so sorry,” I said, my voice thick with remorse.

  “I know how difficult this is for you, and I did my share of running away.” She smiled at Nikolas before looking at me again. “But I had you, Roland, and Peter at my back. It scared me to think of you out there alone and upset, especially when you wouldn’t answer my calls or texts.”