Reporting to Captain Donnelley yesterday afternoon, he was advised to take “a couple of weeks” off for R&R, before being reinstated and reassigned at District C-6.

  And that’s when the real torture had begun.

  He was only on day two of said R&R, and he felt neither relaxed nor rested.

  He felt frustrated. He felt tired. He felt lost. He felt…empty.

  He longed for Tierney with an ache that bordered on anguish, dreaming of her every night and reaching for her every morning in the moment between sleeping and waking. And when he finally woke up? The crushing disappointment of being alone was almost too much to bear.

  All he wanted was her, and not having her made life feel worthless and pointless.

  But what was the alternative?

  His dark mood lifted just a touch when Bridey waved to him, asking him to watch her go down the slide. But the slight boost he felt was quickly swept away when he considered that the only woman in the world with whom he’d want to have children was three hours away.

  A chéadsearc…come back.

  His eyes burned suddenly and unexpectedly, and he blinked them furiously.

  She loved him.

  She loved him, and he loved her so fucking much it was killing him to be apart from her.

  “Burr!” said Suzy, appearing at the back door with two beers. “Help me down the stairs, huh?”

  He climbed up the steps, carefully pulling his sister into his arms and carrying her to one of the comfortable chairs in her patio sitting area. She could get around the house with a cane for now, but stairs were still off-limits.

  “Nice out here today,” she said, offering him a beer.

  “Yeah,” he muttered.

  “Oh, Christ. We need to talk.”

  “What about?”

  “Tierney.” Suzanne’s ice-blue eyes bored into his. “And how miserable you are without her.”

  Exhaling a long-suffering sigh, he clamped his lips around the top of the beer bottle and tipped it back, taking a long sip. It sluiced down his throat, the bubbles sharp and burning.

  “I liked her,” said Suzanne. “She has a backbone.”

  You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever met.

  “Yeah, she does,” he said, leaning his head back on the chair cushion and closing his eyes.

  “Told Dad to go to hell in Irish.”

  “That’s her,” Burr mumbled.

  “And the way she looked at you,” continued Suzanne, “like God broke t’bloody mold after he used it for you.” She sighed. “She’s in love with you.”

  “Jaysus, Suze!” he exclaimed, opening his eyes and leaning forward, his body coiled with anger. “Are you trying to fucking kill me?”

  “No, Burr,” she said evenly. “I’m trying to fucking understand.”

  “Understand what?”

  “Why you aren’t together.”

  “Take a look at the scar on your hip and ask me again,” he growled. “You think I’d ask her to come stay here with me in this shithole of a city? After what happened to you? After Patrick Griffin tracked us down at that hotel? Where her life would always be in danger? What kind of man would that make me? Not to mention, she bloody well hates it here, not that I blame her.”

  “Got it.” Suzanne nodded. “So why not go see her?”

  “What’s the point? I’m here. She’s there. My life is here. Her life is there. What’re we going to do? Torture ourselves by drawing out the inevitable?”

  “Which is…?”

  “Stop, Suzy. Please,” he said, feeling beyond weary. “Please, just stop.”

  He leaned his head back again, hoping that Suzy would shut up and leave him be. It did no good talking about it. They lived two different lives in two different worlds. He was a Boston cop. She lived hours away in the country. End of story.

  “I’m going to talk,” she said. “And you can listen or you can block me out, but I need to know that I said this, Burr. I’m your sister and I love you and I can’t stand to see you like this. Not to mention, I got shot. You owe me.” She paused, waiting for him to argue, he supposed, but he was too tired. Say what you want, he thought. It won’t help. “For the last three years, your life was dangerous, and you were isolated from your friends and family, very much alone. I’m sure you saw and did some things you wish you hadn’t seen or done, and I know you’ll hold those things in your heart, and when you think of them, they’ll hurt you. But I also hope you’ll remember that the New Killeens are finished because of you. That’s a good thing you did, Burr. It was a hard job, and you were betrayed by someone you trusted along the way. But you did your job to the bitter end, even testifying at the arraignment and spending the better part of the last three weeks giving testimony to the DA. And sure, you’ll need to be there in court for the trial, but who knows when that’ll happen? Could be years from now.”

  “Exactly,” he bit out. “So there’s no point in talking about it.”

  “There are two more things I want to say,” said Suzanne, “and when I’m done, you can tell me to shut my feckin’ gob, deal?”

  He huffed with annoyance. “Fine. Christ.”

  “The first thing I want to say is that your time with the New Killeens is over.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “No, you don’t,” she said slowly and carefully.

  “What?” He stared at her. “What does that mean?”

  “Look around, Burr. Declan’s dead. Sean, Billy, Gordon, Frank, and Paul are all in jail now. Patrick’s in jail. They’re not a danger to you and yours anymore.” She paused to let her words sink in before continuing. “A stupid kid did a stupid, reckless thing showing up at your hotel room, because his father was arrested, and he was sad and terrified, and he blamed you for it. But it’s not foreshadowing the future. It was a onetime thing. It’s over now, Burr. It’s over. I’m safe. You’re safe. I mean, as safe as a cop in a big city with various enemies can ever expect to be.”

  Boston, safe? No, he thought. Absolutely not. Boston would never be safe, never feel safe. Too many terrible things had happened here for Boston to ever feel like home again.

  “You’re wrong,” he said. “Boston isn’t safe.”

  She cleared her throat. “So why are you staying here?”

  His lips dropped open, and he stared at her, trying to understand what she was saying. “Staying…?”

  Suzy nodded. “She doesn’t belong here in Boston, right? Tierney? She doesn’t belong here.”

  “Right.”

  “Well, the second thing I want to say to you is this, Burr: neither do you,” she said, her voice gentle but firm.

  “What do you—Suzy, this is my…”

  “Home? No, it’s not. Not anymore.” She took a deep breath and sighed. “We’ve been here in Dorchester—O’Learys—since the 1850s, right? Sure. Six generations in this neighborhood, and Mam and Pop never let us forget it. Our people are here. Our work. Our homes. Our churches and schools. Our lives. Boston proud, right? Except…” She leaned forward, reaching out to place her hand on Burr’s knee. “Except this isn’t your home anymore, Burr.

  “I think you went undercover to make a change, and based on the results, you did grand. But…you didn’t escape that life unscathed. More changed for you than just bringing down the New Killeens.” Her eyes were sympathetic as she squeezed her fingers. “I know that you’re from Boston, and I’ve no doubt that some part of you will always love Boston. But I don’t think you like it very much anymore.”

  It was like blasphemy to hear her articulate these words, especially because she was right. He was one of Boston’s finest, born and bred, a fourth-generation police officer. Boston proud. Boston go bragh. And yet…

  Would he ever feel comfortable here again? Or would he be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life, waiting for some disgruntled New Killeen like Patrick Griffin to take a shot at him or someone he loved?

  He knew the answer. He’d known it for weeks now.

  “I wanted to do good,” he murmured. “I just…wanted to do good.”

  “And you did,” said Suzanne. “You did something great for Boston. That’s the gift you leave behind. But this isn’t your home anymore, Burr. It hasn’t been your home for a long time.” Her fingers squeezed his knee before she withdrew her hand and sat back. “Unless I’m mistaken, and we both know I’m not, your home is with a certain black-haired Irish girl up north.” She took a swig of her beer and gave him a look. “Boston isn’t the only city with a police department, you know. I have it on good authority they have them all over, even in little towns in New Hampshire.”

  “There’s still work to do here. Testimony to give.”

  “Nah. It’s done for now. And if there’s more to do, come down and do it, and then go back. Back home.”

  “I told Donnelley I’d report to work the week after next.”

  “Oh, then,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “by all means, take a new assignment, and stay here where you’re puir miserable.”

  He stared at her.

  “Or…stop being a damn eejit!” she cried. “Get out of here. Go be with your woman! Find a new home! A new job! A new life! Go now! Scat!”

  Go maire sibh bhur saol nua. May you enjoy your new life.

  “Just like that?” he asked.

  “No,” she deadpanned. “Make it tougher on yourself. You’re good at doing that.”

  “But what about you?” he said. “I almost lost you. I just got you back.”

  “And I’ll always be here. This is my home and I’m happy here, and since you put Sean Shanahan away, I feel safe again,” she said. “But Burr…you’re unhappy here. Now, you can be unhappy for a week or two before you make a change, or you can stay here and be unhappy for the rest of your life.” She took his beer from the coffee table and finished it. “What you want—what you need—is a fresh start with your girl.”

  He stared at his sister, her words and his thoughts a maelstrom in his head, swirling into reason, into change, into a plan.

  Enjoy your new life.

  New life.

  Fresh start.

  Your home is wherever your Tierney is.

  I’ll always have hope for us.

  A chéadsearc.

  And suddenly, something inside of Burr that was wound very, very tight sprang free. Looking up at Suzanne, he felt his smile start small, growing, growing, growing until he was chuckling softly.

  “And…now you’re just being crazy, laughing at nothing,” she said, pursing her lips before joining her brother with a small giggle.

  She was right…about everything.

  He was sick of his grim, gritty life in Boston. He didn’t want to be a part of it anymore. He didn’t want to be known as the cop who’d gone undercover with the New Killeens, no matter how much good it did. It would follow him for the rest of his life; something by which he would be identified, for better or worse, for the rest of his life, and he’d never be able to leave it behind.

  And fuck, but he didn’t want that.

  What he wanted—more than anything else—was a fresh start with Tierney.

  He wanted to live in a little stone cottage on the edge of a great estate and play hockey with her brother in a local league. He wanted to eat burgers and drink beer and watch his woman lean over a pool table without worrying someone was coming for him. He wanted to give her brothers shit and tell her he loved her in Irish and take long walks with her at twilight and worship her body all night long until he didn’t know where her pleasure ended and his began. He didn’t want the life that lay before him in Boston. He didn’t want any part of it. He wanted a new one altogether.

  He wanted a new life with Tierney Haven.

  “You want another beer?” asked Suzanne.

  He shook his head. “Nope. It’s Wednesday. If I leave now, I can drop off my badge with Donnelley and make it to her place in time for family dinner.”

  “Speaking of family dinner…how about coming back for one?” she asked with a sly smile. “Say…in a month or two?”

  “Yeah,” he said, standing up, eager to get back to his apartment and start packing. If he hurried, he might make it to Moonstone Manor in time for Wednesday night dinner. “Or how would you, Connor and Bridey feel about coming up to New Hampshire for a weekend?”

  “There we go.” Suzanne smiled up at her brother and nodded. “Now that sounds like a plan.”

  ***

  Tierney could tell the second Brittany and Rory walked in the door that they had some news to share. Brittany was bouncier than usual, and Rory, who was already a sap when it came to his girlfriend, looked at her with such sheer and utter devotion, it almost hurt to see them together. It made her unending longing for Burr all the sharper.

  “So what’s up with you two?” asked Tierney, taking their raincoats and hanging them on the pegs by the front door.

  “Eeeeep! I can’t wait!” cried Brittany, holding out her left hand where a diamond ring sat perched on her fourth finger. “We’re engaged!”

  Tierney had known that this was coming, of course, and she was deeply, genuinely happy for her brother and Brittany, though she couldn’t deny that her heart cracked and bled a little as she witnessed their happiness. It had been three weeks since Burr had returned to Boston, and she hadn’t heard from him since.

  “Oh!” she gasped, tears filling her eyes. “Oh, my!”

  Brittany threw her arms around Tierney, and she hugged her future sister-in-law, closing her eyes against the sharp, salty burn.

  When Brittany stepped away, Tierney looked up into her brother’s eyes.

  “Comhghairdeas, Rory. Go maire tú an lá!” she said, congratulating him in Irish before letting him pull her into a tight embrace.

  “I see you, Tier,” he whispered near her ear.

  She closed her eyes tightly, but tears slipped free, sliding down her cheeks.

  Both Rory and Ian had expressed worry about her, gently and in their own ways, since Burr had left. She’d explained everything in detail, and they understood why he’d left. And while they liked him, her safety and happiness came first. Though they would have supported her if it was what she really wanted, being the wife of a Boston cop wasn’t the life either brother would choose for her.

  Tierney had seen, firsthand, how much Burr’s family meant to him and how good he was at his job. She loved Burr desperately, but Boston frightened her. The noise. The pace. The people living on top of each other with barely a patch of green. People showing up at hotels and waving guns around. If she relocated to Boston, she’d be alone a lot while Burr worked, and she wasn’t good at making friends. Would she be able to make a happy life for herself, or would her unhappiness eventually chip away at everything that had made her relationship with Burr so special? To leave her home and job and family only to end up destroying any potential happiness with Burr would be the biggest mistake of all. So she was stuck. Here. Without him.

  Her heart clenched as Rory squeezed her before leaning back. She opened her eyes, swallowing over the lump in her throat.

  “I’m so happy for you, Rory,” she said. “Truly.”

  Brittany trained her gleaming smile on Ian. “I’ll expect you to behave. Hallie’s coming up for the wedding.”

  “H-Hallie Gilbert?”

  “Who else?” Brittany nodded. “She’s agreed to be one of my bridesmaids…and I hope Tierney will agree to be the other!”

  “Of course!” said Tierney, engulfed in another overenthusiastic Brittany bear hug.

  “Yay! It’s going to be so fun! You’re going to love Hallie, and her little girl, Jenny, is going to be a flower girl!”

  When Brittany finally released her, Tierney asked, “So when’s the happy day?”

  “Well,” said Brittany, shooting a quick look at Rory, who winked at her. “We have a little more news.” She placed her hands over her stomach then looked up at Tierney. “We’re expecting.”

  Tierney’s neck whipped to the side, her eyes connecting with Rory’s. “You’re having a baby?”

  “We are.”

  “Oh, my God! That’s—that’s amazing! Oh, Rory—wait. Does Mom know?”

  Rory chuckled, shaking his head. “Are you mad? I’m attached to my balls.”

  “When are you telling them?”

  “After the wedding,” he said.

  “And when’s this wedding happening?” asked Ian, his voice stilted and eyes troubled, like he was still processing the idea of seeing Hallie again.

  “Thanksgiving weekend at Summerhaven,” said Brittany. “We’ll have friends and family come up on Wednesday and stay until Sunday! Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. Rehearsal dinner on Friday. Wedding on Saturday! I’m counting on you to help me, Tierney. I only have six weeks to plan everything!”

  Still chattering about wedding plans, Brittany followed Tierney to the kitchen to get dinner ready, and once seated, Tierney and Ian toasted the happy couple with sparkling cider, digging into a baked ham and mashed potatoes.

  Brittany and Rory left soon after dinner, but Ian lingered, standing beside Tierney as she washed the dinner dishes and he dried.

  “First of us to get married,” he said.

  “Weird, right?”

  Ian nodded. “Yeah.”

  “You looked pretty surprised about Hallie,” said Tierney.

  His chest swelled as he took a deep breath. “Haven’t seen her in a long time.”

  “What happened between you two? How come you never said anything to me and Rory about her?”

  “Leave it, Tier,” he said softly, taking a dripping plate from her hands and drying it distractedly.

  “Are you going to be okay?”

  Ian opened the cabinet beside the fridge and put the plate away and then turned to his sister. “Are you asking about my heart or my sobriety?”

  “Both,” she said, then added, “but I guess I’m more worried about your sobriety.”

  “I’ll be okay,” he said. “If anything…” His voice drifted off for a moment before he finished his thought. “I’m not backsliding.” He looked up at her, his eyes searing. “What about you? Are you going to be okay?”