“He’s not—”

  She holds up her hand, stopping me. “He is. He knows it, I know it, hell, the entire town knows it. You need to catch up.” She points at me.

  I concede with a nod. “I’ll text you if I’m staying.”

  “Thank you. Have fun.” She waves.

  During the drive over, I run scenarios through my head. I’m most definitely leaving my clothes in my car. I’m assuming he’s going to be okay with us staying in and eating leftovers. There was just something in his voice. He sounded exhausted and… defeated. I want to take that away from him.

  He only lives about five minutes from us. I pull into his driveway and park beside his truck. Before I even have the car turned off, he’s opening my door and reaching his hand into me, tugging me out of the car. As soon as I’m on my feet, he wraps his arms around me and holds me close, burying his face in my neck. “I fucking missed you,” he mumbles.

  Sensing he needs it, I put my arms around him and hug him as tight as I can. “You too,” I say softly.

  “Let’s get you inside,” he says, pulling back.

  “Wait, I brought dinner. I figured you might just want to stay in, and we had too many leftovers.”

  He gives me a soft smile. “A night in with my girl is just what I need.” He kisses my temple. “What can I carry?” he asks, already opening the back door.

  “I can—” I stop when he pulls out the reusable shopping bag along with my small tote and garment bag, then shuts the door. The whole time my heart is racing as he so casually picks up my things.

  “Can you get the door for me, babe?” he asks, walking toward his house.

  That spurs me into action, and I rush to follow him and open the door. “Can you put this in the kitchen? I’m just going to take your things to my room.” He hands me the bag and strolls off down the hall.

  Okay then. In the kitchen, I unload the bag and start opening cabinet doors until I find the plates. I scoop out a heavy helping of ravioli and cover it with a paper towel before popping it in the microwave.

  “That smells amazing.” He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. His chin rests on my shoulder.

  “You’re in for a treat. Anna’s ravioli is the best.”

  “Smells like it. What else was in that bag?”

  “Breadsticks, and I made chocolate chip cookies.”

  “Really?” he asks, dropping his hands from around my waist. He steps away from me, and I miss the feel of him against me. Turning to look over my shoulder, I see him with the bag of cookies in his hand and shoving one in his mouth. He moans. I watch in fascination as he closes his eyes, savoring the cookie. “These,” he says, swallowing, “are my favorite. I love chocolate chip cookies. My mom used to make them all the time when we were growing up. It’s been a while since she’s made any. Shane and I need to get on her about that,” he rambles, before shoving another cookie in his mouth.

  I just smile and shake my head. The microwave dings, so I turn my attention back to getting him fed. Carefully, I unwrap the plate, using the paper towel as a buffer from the hot plate, not that it gives much protection, and set it on the table in front of him. I hand him the foil-wrapped breadsticks as well. “What do you want to drink?”

  “Are you not eating?” he asks, walking to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of water.

  “No, I’m stuffed. I had too many cookies and a huge helping of that.” I point to his plate, “for lunch.”

  “Come sit with me.” He holds his hand out, and I take it, allowing him to link his fingers through mine. He sits down in his chair and pulls me onto his lap.

  “Brant, you can’t eat with me on your lap.”

  “I can and I will. I told you I missed you.”

  “You did.” I laugh. “You’re crazy.” I try to stand, but his hold on me, even one-handed is too strong. Not that I put much effort into it.

  “You’re where I want you.” He takes a bite of ravioli. “This is great. Thank you.” He takes another huge bite. “Tell me about your day,” he says, before taking another.

  I ramble on for the next five minutes, while he scarfs down his food, telling him about shopping with Mom and Anna. “Mom was quite excited to hear that we spent the day together yesterday.”

  “You told her?” He stops with the last bite in midair.

  “No, Dad did.”

  He nods and shovels in the last forkful. “I need a shower,” he says, then tips back his bottle of water, finishing it off as well.

  “Rough day?” I ask him.

  “Yeah.” He doesn’t elaborate, and I don’t push. “Come on.” He pats my thigh for me to stand. When I do, he reaches for my hand again, and I follow him. We stop at the front door and he makes sure it’s locked. He then turns the lights out in the living room and kitchen. It doesn’t get dark out until around nine, with it being summer, but the house is mostly dark with the lights off at this time of day. There’s only a small glow from the evening sun coming in through the blinds.

  We enter his room, and I see my bags on his bed. He releases my hand and grabs them. I watch as he hangs the garment bag in his closet and places the other on the floor by his dresser.

  “Ready?” he asks.

  “For?”

  “Shower,” he says. After pulling his shirt over his head, he tosses it in a clothes basket in the corner. I watch as he strips off his jeans, and boxer briefs, pulling his socks off and throwing them all in the hamper. He turns to face me, completely naked, and even though I know it’s wrong, I can’t help but run my eyes over him. I take in the planes and valleys of his rigid chest, and the V—the one I want to trace with my tongue—leads me to his cock, that’s currently in his fist. How did I miss that? He’s huge, and he’s stroking himself. How is this my life?

  “Baby, you can’t look at me like that.” His voice rumbles. My eyes pop up to his. “I’m going to need you to strip, Kins.”

  I don’t think about anything but the vision of his hard cock in his hand as he watches me. I tug my tank over my head and make quick work of my bra, letting them both fall to the floor. My shorts and panties come off with one yank, and I kick them to the side.

  “Much better.” He performs one more, long stroke before releasing himself. He holds the hand that was just holding his cock out to me. “Shower.”

  I take his hand, and let him lead me into the bathroom. My body quivers with excitement and maybe a little fear of what’s to come.

  Without letting go of her hand, I reach in and turn on the shower. This is one of my favorite things about this house. The walk-in shower is big enough for a party, complete with multiple showerheads. It was a huge selling point for me when I purchased the house a year ago. At the time, I was thinking about coming home after a long shift and standing under the hot spray. Now, all I can think about is getting my hands and my mouth on every delectable inch of her.

  Testing the water temperature, I step in, still holding her hand. Kinsley follows along behind me and closes the glass door.

  “Wow,” she breathes.

  I feel the same way, but it’s not the shower I’m in awe of. It’s her. She’s so fucking beautiful she takes my breath away. “Come here, you,” I say, tugging her gently into my arms. Her skin is so fucking soft pressed against me. I want my hands all over her. I need to explore her, learn what she likes, what turns her on. It’s my new mission in life to know everything that is Kinsley Spears.

  With one hand on her waist, I use the other to push the wet strands of hair out of her face. “You’ve made a shit day turn to roses,” I tell her honestly.

  “What happened?” she asks quietly.

  I’m not one to talk about the job, but having her here, naked and wet in my arms, I want to tell her. Want to unleash the heaviness in my chest. She grew up with it, so she would understand. “Car wreck,” I say, my voice already thick with emotion. We don’t talk about it at the station either, so this is all new to me. “Three cars. It was fucking terrible, Kins. Fatal.” I swallow the lump in my throat. Squeezing my eyes closed, I try to block out the memories. “An older man with Alzheimer’s somehow got ahold of some keys and decided he needed to go out.”

  “Oh no,” she says softly.

  “He ended up driving the wrong way on the road. Hit a mom and her two girls head-on. The car behind her couldn’t stop and crashed into them as well.” She rests her cheek on my chest, and my heart swells for her. Her arms are wrapped tightly around my waist, giving me comfort. “They didn’t make it, Kins. The older man, and the mom and her two girls, they all died on impact. The third car, the guy was airlifted. He’s in critical condition.”

  I stop there, debating how much more I should tell her, but now that I’m talking, I need to keep going. It’s therapeutic to get it off my chest. “I love what I do. I do. It’s what I’ve always wanted. We have a great fucking team, and I’m proud to be a part of it. I just… I won’t ever be able to forget the scene, you know? It’s one of those things that will always stay with you. It’s not my first, and it damn sure won’t be my last. It takes me a few days to get past it, you know?”

  “I’m so sorry. I’ve never thought about it from that standpoint,” she says, pulling back and looking up at me.

  “Your dad’s my captain,” I say, not understanding how she’s never thought about what we see. What we do.

  “I know, but he was… private, I guess you could say. He never discussed the bad parts of his job with us. All I ever got to hear was if there was an accident or fire and that it was bad. Everything else was spaghetti dinners, car washes, and quarter auctions.” She reaches over and picks up my bodywash and pours some into her hands. She begins to wash my chest as she talks. “My dad knew I hated him leaving us all the time. I can only assume he didn’t want to give me yet another reason to hate his career. I can’t tell you how many Christmas mornings he would get pulled away. We would sometimes wait until the late evening before opening presents, even when I believed in Santa. I wanted my dad there.” She laughs humorlessly. “I sound like such a spoiled drama queen now that I retell it.”

  “No. I get it. I do. We see things, things that would haunt our dreams for eternity if we let them. There is a flip side to that though. We save lives. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run into a burning building to bring out a family’s loved one. The job, although hard, it’s rewarding.”

  “I’ve never looked at it from that angle. I never really looked past my fear and selfishness to see the bigger picture.”

  She continues to wash my chest, and my cock is hard as steel pressing against her belly. She’s reached my waist, and I stand still, waiting to see what she does next. I suck in a breath when her small hand grips my cock. “Let me help you forget. Rinse,” she says, stepping back, my cock still in her hand, letting the hot water cover my chest.

  I press against the wall and cup her face in my hands. “You already have. Just you being here, that’s enough.”

  She doesn’t say anything as she continues to stroke me. Leaning in, I kiss her slowly, matching the pace of her hands as she explores me for the first time. I want to devour her, press her against this very wall my back rests against and fuck her. I want to leave my mark on her. Ruin her for all other men.

  She pulls away from our kiss and smiles shyly before dropping to her knees. She looks up at me under her lashes, and those big brown eyes tell me she’s nervous. “I don’t really know much about this, but I want to try,” she admits.

  I have to tramp down the fire that burns at the thought of her kneeling like this for another man. I know she’s not a virgin, but fuck if I don’t wish she was. She’s still watching me, waiting for me to tell her it’s okay. “Baby, just the thought of your mouth on me has me ready to blow. You can’t fuck this up, trust me.”

  That’s all the reassurance she needs. Her soft hand grips my cock, and she strokes me. Her eyes watch the show she’s performing. Tentatively, she leans in as if she’s tasting something she’s not sure of, and traces her tongue across the tip. I suck in a breath, which has her pulling back.

  “So good,” I praise her. That’s about the most coherent sentence I can form.

  The corner of her mouth lifts in a small grin, but it soon disappears as she keeps me gripped in her hand and takes another taste. This time she closes her mouth around me, and I fight the urge to blow at the feeling of her hot mouth. That tongue of hers is driving me wild. Hands fisted at my sides, I’m trying like hell to let this be her show. I want her to go at her pace, but fuck, I don’t know if I can. I watch as her head bobs, taking more of me with each pass. When I feel my cock hit the back of her throat, I reach out and grip her hair.

  She stops to look up at me. “Too much?” she asks, as if she’s done something wrong.

  “Fuck, Kinsley, no baby, not too much. I’m so close. Your mouth.”

  She grins again and picks up right where she left off. “Mmm,” she moans, and the vibration does it.

  “Baby, I’m gonna come,” I warn her.

  “Mmm,” she says again, not bothering to stop.

  Unable to hold back, I unload down her throat, and she takes it all. I’m spent. I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard before in my life. When she finally releases me from her mouth, I release my grip on her hair. Taking a deep breath to get my breathing under control, I look down at the beautiful woman before me. She’s all I want in life, her by my side. “Come here.” My voice is gravelly.

  She stands, and there’s a blush coating her cheeks; she’s also avoiding my eyes. “Was that okay?” she asks, as I pull her into my chest and hold her tightly against me.

  “Kinsley, that was… I don’t have the words for what that was. You’ve ruined me. You’re all I want.” My earlier thoughts come tumbling out. I’m too far into this, but I know she’s still skittish. I can’t show my hand just yet, but I vow in this moment, to spend my life having these moments with her.

  She looks up at me, her eyes finally meeting mine. “I don’t know if I can do this, Brant. These past couple of days being with you, it’s more than I ever expected but everything I ever wanted, but I swore I would never have that life.”

  “One day at a time,” I assure her. “We take it one day at a time, but I need you to know those days are infinite for me. I’ll show you, that my career is just that, but you, you’re mine. I’ll do everything in my power to make you see that. Sure, there are going to be times I get called away, but baby, what I do, it’s important.” She shivers, and I realize the water is cooling down. “Let’s get you dried off,” I say, reaching behind us and turning off the water. Once we’re dry, I lead her to my bed and hold the covers up for her.

  “You’re okay if I stay? I mean, I didn’t want to assume, but I have to work tomorrow so needed my clothes, and I just thought that, you know, being prepared is better,” she rambles on and it’s cute as hell.

  “Kinsley, when it comes to you being here, you don’t need to question if this is where I want you. If I had my way, you would be here every night. So, anytime you want to be where you are right now, you pack a bag, hell, leave some stuff here. I’ll clear out a drawer. I want you anyway and anytime I can get you. You can count on that.”

  She’s quiet, her breathing even, and I think she’s fallen asleep, so I close my eyes, letting the feel of the steady rise and fall of her chest against mine lull me to sleep. That’s when she whispers, “This is where I want to be.”

  Kissing the top of her head, I tighten my hold and fall asleep for the second night in a row with her in my arms.

  It’s been two weeks since the night I took him dinner and spent the night in his arms. Two weeks since I’ve allowed that to happen again. I’m either kicking him out of my bed or rolling out of his, ignoring his disdain that I’m not staying. I’ve wanted nothing more than to remain in his arms, but I’m still on the fence about this. About us. I want him. Of course I do, but I made a promise to myself about not being with a firefighter, and I need to make sure that I’m certain in that. That I’m willing to take Brantley’s career and all. It sounds crazy even to me, but I need to stay true to myself. My fear is that it’s already too late. I’m in this, regardless of falling asleep in his arms and waking up the same way. He’s sweet and cocky, and he’s so damn hard to resist.

  When I feel strong hands grip my hips, I know it’s him. “I hate that we didn’t come here together,” he grumbles, nipping at my ear.

  I turn to face him. I place my hand on one cheek and kiss the other. “We’re both here now, that’s what matters.”

  “You’re my girl, Kins. I should have brought you here.”

  I look around the room. We’re at the quarterly spaghetti dinner at the firehouse. My parents are sitting at the same table they’ve sat at for more years than I can count. All the firefighters and their families are here as well as more than half the town. Everyone comes out to support our local fire department. “They all know we’re seeing each other,” I remind him.

  He pulls me to his chest and wraps his arms around my waist. “They know you’re more than that, Kinsley. Come on, so do you.” He seems irritated.

  I do know, but I’m still worried I’ll break both of our hearts when reality sets in. The first time he has to miss something, will I still feel the way I do now? “Have you eaten?” I ask, changing the subject.

  He sighs. “No, let’s go get a plate.” He laces his fingers through mine and leads me to the line. After getting our plates, Brantley leads us to the table my parents are sitting at.

  “Hey, you two,” Mom greets us. Dad just gives us a nod.

  “Good turnout,” Brantley tells Dad.

  “Sure is. We’re lucky we have the town’s support. Some stations are not as fortunate.”

  “I agree. To be a paid department in a town our size is impressive.”

  It is impressive and sadly, I’m just now starting to realize how big of a deal it really is.

  “What are you kids getting up to after this?” Mom asks. She’s all smiles, loving that we’re here together, well, as together as I’ve allowed us to be.