“Everything all right?” Blake asked after a few moments of Damo staring wordlessly at the screen.

  “Yeah, ’course!” He tucked his phone in his bag.

  Blake didn’t quite believe him but didn’t press. They were going slowly, after all.

  He hadn’t figured out Damo’s family situation yet. Whatever it was, it stressed out Damo, although the text could have been about anything. Still, he wished he could help fix whatever it was that put the tension in Damo’s shoulders and dropped the smile from his face.

  In the main garage area, the concrete was damp and sandy and refreshingly cool after the scorched sand. The shade was a relief and the reliable afternoon breeze locals called the Doctor coming in off the ocean was bliss.

  Beyond the garage’s dimness, the sun and sand were blinding, the glare too strong to really even see the blue of the water. The noise of the beach—laughter and joyful shrieks, someone’s obnoxious music on a boombox, gulls fighting over crumbs—fell away.

  Damo turned on the hose and playfully sprayed it at Blake. Blake opened his arms wide and tipped back his head. “Have at it.” He sighed contentedly as Damo cleaned him with the cool water, turning a full circle in the spray.

  When Blake lifted his head, Damo was staring at his chest. Blake leered, and Damo blushed prettily before hosing himself down.

  Damo’s boardies and T-shirt were crumpled on a shelf in the little back storage room, and they returned there to change. Wetsuit still hanging from around his waist, Blake watched as Damo got naked—and realized he had an audience. The blush traveled down Damo’s neck, and his Adam’s apple bobbed.

  “We can’t,” he whispered, craning his neck to peek into the garage. “Not here.”

  “Of course not.” Still, Blake let his gaze travel slowly down and up Damo’s bare body. He was still surprised he didn’t see any tattoos. The tan line was just under Damo’s waist where his boardies would sit. The upper half of his body and his feet and calves were bronzed and freckled, but his upper thighs and hips were pale as winter. His arse too.

  Watching Damo’s cock swell before his eyes was absolutely glorious. Blake murmured, “I’d never drop to my knees here and suck you off. Even though I bet I could have you coming down my throat in less than a minute.”

  “Mate!” Damo shout-whispered, sounding adorably scandalized, his eyes wide.

  Blake could barely take his eyes off the pale, vulnerable skin of Damo’s slim thighs. There was something so beautiful about it, the contrast to his tanned skin making it even more enticing. Like a secret to uncover. “Or I could eat your arse. Anyone ever rimmed you? I think you’ll like it.”

  Those blue eyes grew even wider. “You mean, like…”

  “I mean spreading you open and licking your hole. If I do it now—which I won’t, of course since I wouldn’t dream of it—it’ll be salty, even a bit sandy. You’ll taste like the beach, and I’ll fuck you with my tongue and my fingers until you can barely stand.”

  He smiled slowly, looking down pointedly at Damo’s flushed and straining cock, now fully hard. “Yeah, I think you’ll like it.” He rubbed his own hardening erection with the heel of his hand through his wetsuit. “We both will.”

  Damo licked his lips, his chest rising and falling as he stood frozen.

  “Anyway, we’d better get going. I’m dying for a taco.” Blake stripped off and changed into his boardies and white singlet as if they’d been talking about the weather. He kept his gaze anywhere but on Damo, who finally made a high-pitched sound of outrage.

  “You’re—you’re…diabolical!”

  “Now there’s a ten-dollar word.”

  “You can’t just, just—” Damo waved a hand.

  Struggling to keep from grinning, Blake said, “Hmm?” A moment later, he got a wetsuit in the face, and they laughed as Damo hurried to dress, muttering and trying to adjust himself.

  They were almost out of the garage before Blake said, “Hold on. I just need to…” He hurried back to the storage area, hoping Damo would follow. He did, opening his mouth to likely ask what Blake had forgotten.

  Blake took Damo’s face in his hands and kissed him. For a heartbeat, their chapped lips pressed together perfectly, and then Damo gasped. Blake chased the breathy little sound with his tongue, going deep as their tongues met. Damo swayed against him.

  It was salty and sweet, the hint of an orange lolly lingering in Damo’s mouth. They were both hard, but Blake pulled back, still holding Damo’s flushed, stubbly face.

  “Just needed to kiss you,” Blake whispered. “Couldn’t wait another second.”

  And Damo beamed with that crooked grin, his fingers gripping at the cotton of Blake’s singlet. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And that arse business?”

  Blake shrugged, fighting to keep a straight face. “Something to think about until next time.”

  “What? ‘Next time’?” Damo almost squeaked in outrage. “Diabolical.”

  Blake kissed him until they were breathless. He nuzzled Damo’s cheek. “Will you let me do that?”

  “Let you? Is that a trick question?”

  “What are you doing later?” Blake had to be up in the middle of the night to head into work, but missing the sleep would be worth it.

  Damo’s breathless smile faded. “Can’t tonight.”

  “No worries.” Blake tamped down the disappointment and leaned close to Damo’s ear, skimming his fingers under his T-shirt. “Will you think about it until we can?”

  Shivering, Damo nodded. “I want you to show me. I’ll let you do anything. Everything.”

  Blake lifted Damo off his feet and kissed him fiercely. After he spoke to Tasha, he’d finalize a new plan, and there would definitely be a subsection on all the things—everything—he and Damo would do together.

  Chapter Ten

  Monday evening, Blake paced his apartment and checked the time again. Three more minutes until he was due to call Tasha.

  Snippets of her initial email scrolled through his mind. He’d read it so many times now he could have performed it like a Shakespeare soliloquy.

  You probably don’t remember me

  I’m not asking for anything

  We don’t want money

  I made the choice that was right for me

  I should have told you back then

  Please let me know if you even get this email

  If you want to walk away, just tell me and that’ll be it

  He couldn’t get the last words out of his head. That’ll be it. He could have replied to the email and said, “Thanks but no thanks” about being part of his child’s life. Simple as that.

  As Damo had said—nope. Not an option.

  The reply from Tasha had been waiting when he woke early that morning, the red number one on his email app like a beacon. She’d said she was glad he was interested, and they’d set up the time for the call.

  He did another loop of his apartment, the stir fry he’d eaten sitting in his gut like lead.

  Blake checked the time again. Another minute. His phone buzzed in his hand, and he fumbled it, his heart thudding. It was Mum’s face on the screen, and he groaned.

  No, he couldn’t talk to her right now. As thrilled as she’d be to hear about Cooper…no. Blake thought of what Damo had said—that for now, he just wanted the nascent relationship with Blake to be his. There was nothing wrong with that, and there was nothing wrong with Blake not sharing this news with his family yet.

  He declined the call and quickly tapped out an apology text asking if everything was okay. The seconds ticked by agonizingly, but thankfully, Mum replied that they were fine and not to worry.

  Seven o’clock appeared on his screen, and he punched in the number he’d memorized from reading and rereading Tasha’s email response. A female voice answered, and Blake cleared his throat.

  “Uh, is that Tasha?” He hadn’t even known her well enough to hope to recognize her voice, yet they’d created an entire human being together. How weird was that?

  “It is. Hi.”

  “Hi.”

  Silence, then: “This must be Blake.”

  “It is. Um, good to talk to you?” He had his mobile pressed too hard to his ear and forced himself to breathe. Why had he made that a question?

  Tasha laughed softly. “Is it? I hope so.”

  “Yes.” There was more silence, and he added, “I mean it’s good to talk to you. It was a shock getting your email, but I’m grateful you got in touch.”

  She was quiet a few moments. “Okay. Because the offer still stands—you can walk away, and if Coop wants to find you when he’s eighteen, we’ll give him your name and he can go from there.”

  Blake paced his living room, the wood floor creaking under his bare feet, the rug soft. He had to say something, and he grasped for the right words in his spinning mind. “Is that what you and your husband would prefer?”

  Silence for a heartbeat. Another. Another. Then she said, “Honestly, I don’t know. Part of me does, yeah. It was Tony who made the case that you had a right to know. That it wasn’t fair to you or Coop. It isn’t, I agree. But if you’re not ready to really take this on, I’d rather you own it now and we can call it a day.”

  Blake stared at the surfer over his TV. “I’m ready. I admit I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m in. He’s my son. I want to know him. Walking away isn’t an option.”

  She exhaled noisily. “Right. Okay. We’re doing this, then. I’m not sure where to start.”

  He laughed uneasily. “Me either. I haven’t thought about you in years, and now we have a kid. Uh, no offense with the not thinking about you.”

  “None taken, mate. I didn’t think of you beyond being a sperm donor. Not that the pregnancy was planned, I assure you. Must have accidentally skipped a pill or mistimed it. I was stupid.”

  Blake’s stomach roiled with a surge of acid. “There’s something else you should know before we go any further.”

  “Okay,” she said warily.

  “I’m gay.”

  Tasha chuckled. “Oh, cool. No worries.”

  “You knew?”

  “I didn’t know, not back then, but in hindsight, it all fits. You couldn’t keep your eyes off my cousin’s arse that whole weekend. But you were sweet and cute, and I wanted to fuck.” Blake could hear the shrug in her no-nonsense voice. “Honestly, it was all so long ago. I think you seemed keen and a little confused, and I figured there was no harm in it.”

  “Except for getting you pregnant, apparently.”

  “Oh right, that.” She laughed, before her tone got serious. “But Coop’s the greatest. No regrets. It wasn’t easy by a long shot, but I wouldn’t change it. If Tony was his bio dad, Coop wouldn’t be the same weird, amazing kid he is. I can’t regret it. Although you need to understand that Tony is Coop’s father. He’s raised him since he was two. Coop calls him ‘dad,’ and that’s not going to change no matter what kind of relationship he builds with you.”

  “I understand. I… Well, I don’t know the first thing about parenting, and you live on the other side of the country. I won’t try to take anyone’s place. Just try to find one for myself.” Was he making sense? Sounding responsible and reasonable? He’d made a list of talking points, and he quickly scanned the paper. The silence stretched out, and he said, “Hello?”

  “Yeah, I’m here. I’m…” She laughed softly. “I guess I’m pleasantly surprised by how reasonable you’re being about all of this.”

  Success! He laughed too. “I don’t think it’ll help anyone to be a giant dickhead.”

  “I appreciate that. I should have told you when I found out. But it was a few months later and you weren’t even in uni yet. Blinman felt like a billion miles from Sydney, and I didn’t know you. But I still should have told you. I’m sorry.”

  “Apology accepted. At this point all we can do is move forward.”

  “Speaking of which, we’re actually coming to Perth for a wedding.”

  “Oh! When?”

  “Next week. That’s one of the reasons I got in touch. Squid mentioned you were living out there.”

  “Oh!” he repeated. “Next week. That’s really soon.” Holy shit. His son—he had a son!—was visiting. Blake could actually meet him. Next week. His heart hammered. “Great!”

  “Yeah?” Tash sounded decidedly skeptical. “It’s probably too soon. Isn’t it?”

  “It’s been eight years, so not really that soon when you think about it.”

  “Good point.” She paused. “Hey, can we do a video call?”

  His pulse raced faster. “Sure. Do you want to… I’ll just… You can call me back.” He tapped the button to hang up, then sprinted to the bathroom to look in the mirror.

  His short hair looked neat, but he wet his hand and ran it over his skull anyway. No traces of makeup since it had been days. His stomach tightened. What would Tash think about that?

  She was cool with him being gay—would she be equally as cool about him wearing eyeliner and lippy when he clubbed? What would this Tony think? What was he like? How would Blake compare to him?

  Will Cooper even like me?

  The phone in his hand buzzed, and he realized he needed a better backdrop than the toilet. He sprinted back to the living room and sat on the couch before answering. On the screen, Tasha waved. Blake waved back, holding up his phone for a better angle on his round face.

  “G’day again. Long time no see,” he said, which was likely a ridiculous thing to say.

  But Tash smiled and said, “Indeed.” She was just as pretty as he remembered, with pale skin, freckles, thick, brown hair that was now bobbed around her chin, wide-set brown eyes, and a thin nose. Her lips were glossy in a neutral tone, and he almost asked her which brand she was wearing.

  She said, “This is weird, hey? We’re all grown-up.”

  “Suppose we are.”

  “Have you told your parents about this?”

  “Not yet. I will, but I want to see how things go.”

  There was no sense in telling them he had a son if it all went pear-shaped. He wasn’t telling them about Damo either. There was hardly anything to tell. Not yet. He’d been tempted to text his sibling group chat for advice, but they were all so busy with their own kids. And it felt like jinxing it before actually meeting Cooper.

  He added, “Cooper will have loads of cousins. My sis has a baby, my oldest brother’s wife just had their second, and my other brother’s wife just announced she’s pregnant with their third.”

  “Busy, busy. Are they still in Blinman?”

  “God, no. My brothers are in Queensland, and Ella’s in Adelaide. Squid moved there too, didn’t he?”

  Everyone had called Tasha’s cousin, Callum, “Squid,” since it was shorter than “calamari.” And Blake really must have been hard up if he’d been checking out Squid’s arse that weekend.

  “Yep. It was a tricky business getting your email off him. He wanted to know why I wanted to contact Blake the Snake, so I made up some bullshit about wanting to reconnect with old friends. He told me to message you on Insta, but I thought email would be better. He had to ask your brother for your address, apparently. He texted back an FYI that I ‘turned you.’ Which of course he would since he’s a bloody knobhead.”

  “He is,” Blake agreed with a grin. “Means well, though.”

  “He does, bless him.” She tucked her hair behind her ear.

  “And shit, haven’t heard ‘Blake the Snake’ in forever.”

  She laughed. “Surprised you’ve managed to shake it.”

  “Same, to be honest. The other garbos do call me ‘Moose,’ though.”

  “How’d they get that one?”

  “My training supervisor is Rocky, so they started calling me ‘Bullwinkle’ since we were always together. After that old cartoon? Then eventually it became Moose.” He shrugged. “You know how it is.”

  Tasha grinned. “Yep. I got off easy.” Her smile faded. “I haven’t told my parents about you either. When I rocked up pregnant, it wasn’t the best day. But they adjusted, and they’ve been awesome with Coop and love Tony. I’ll talk to them once we know where all this is…going.”

  “Makes sense.”

  “Anyway, about our visit. Tony’s brother’s marrying a Freo girl, so we decided to make a holiday of it. Had to wrangle with Coop’s school to get him the time off, but he can handle it. He’s smart as.” She beamed. “His grades are top of the class, and he’s so curious about the world. He always has been. When he started crawling, it was game on.”

  For an awful moment, Blake couldn’t breathe through a swell of regret and longing that choked him like grief. He’d missed out on so much. He’d never get to see his son as a newborn. Or rolling over, crawling, taking his first steps…

  What if his son had needed his help and he hadn’t been there? Of course Cooper had needed him. Thank God he’d had Tasha and Tony, but there were so many things Blake could’ve helped with.

  “What was his first word?” he asked, his voice gone hoarse.

  Tasha’s smile faded as her face softened into a sad, sympathetic expression. “It was ‘meow.’ He loved talking to our cat, Gorgonzola. It took him a while to be able to say her actual name. She was just ‘Meow’ to him.”

  Blake laughed, blinking away sudden tears. “Sorry I missed that.”

  Tasha’s eyes glistened. “I am too. I really am.”

  “I understand why you didn’t tell me. I’m just starting to really think about what I missed.”

  “I can send you all the pictures and videos we have. Well, maybe not all of them since it would take you months to get through.”

  “I’ll take everything. Please.”

  “Of course. I wish—I wish I could turn back time.”

  Blake smiled sadly. “I do too. But all we can do is move forward. What about child support?”

  Tasha shook her head. “Not necessary. We’re good.”

  “It’s absolutely necessary. I owe you backpay and of course going forward. What about uni? An education fund.”

  “Already covered. Honestly, this isn’t about money. I really want to make that clear. We don’t need or want your money.”