“Ziad…” Laura murmured.

  “Oh, sweetheart, I have missed you,” he murmured against her lips.

  She wasn't sure what might have happened next if Jamila hadn't charged over, throwing her arms around both of them.

  “Laura!” she shouted. “Laura, Laura, I missed you so much!”

  “Oh my gosh, sweetie! I can't believe it's you!”

  She scooped Jamila up in her arms, not caring that Jamila was definitely getting too big for her to do so. All that mattered was that her little girl was here.

  After a moment, Ziad pried Jamila off, but then her grandpa was there, grinning at her and handing her Hasan, who needed his share of hugs as well.

  It was all so much, all so overwhelming. She might have broken into tears if she hadn't had so much practice lately fighting them back.

  “I want…I mean, I can't believe you're all here, but I have to get to the hospital. I have to pick up Mom and Dad and the kids and then I have to cook and…”

  Ziad and her grandfather exchanged a glance, which she thought was pretty intimate for two men who she believed didn't really share a language, and Ziad looked at her firmly.

  “I'm going to order us all something through delivery,” he said, “and then we can take my SUV and pick up your family. I'm sure we can fit everyone.”

  “Sure, Emily is coming from the college and she'll be on the bus, so it's just Mom, Dad, Marcus and Jake anyway, but Ziad, I don't—”

  “You look exhausted,” he said, his voice taking on the stern note that it got when Jamila wanted to fight about fair bedtimes. “I will drive. Security can follow along or take your parents if the SUV is too tight.”

  It felt less like giving up than being taken care of, and she managed a slight grin.

  “Okay.”

  Laura sat quietly in the passenger seat of Ziad's car as he called his security detail and told them that the kids were being looked after by Laura's grandfather and that a delivery of food was going to be coming to the house. They apparently weren't quite thrilled by that, and Ziad rolled his eyes.

  “Really, it's only New Jersey,” he said with such irritation that Laura had to stifle a laugh.

  It was so strange having him here in the neighborhood where she had grown up, large as life, more handsome than she remembered. She found herself reaching out and carefully laying her hand on his thigh just to verify for herself that he was real. While still talking to his security team, he flashed her a grin and laid his hand over hers. Even that small and slight contact made her heart beat harder, and she realized that no matter what, she would always have feelings for him, would always love him.

  “There,” Ziad muttered, ending the call. “I swear, you would think I was crossing a war-torn battlefield and not simply driving to a hospital.”

  “Thank you for going to pick up my family,” she said automatically, and he startled her with a stern look.

  “No,” he said. “This is not something that you should be thanking me for. This is what your husband should be doing. This is what I should have been doing all this time.”

  Laura was silent, digesting this as Ziad set the GPS and pulled out onto the street.

  “Still, it's kind,” Laura said finally. “It really is, and if I were Jamila, I would be telling her that she should definitely say thank you. But, Ziad, what are you doing here?”

  Suddenly he seemed a great deal more interested in the road in front of them than he was a moment before.

  “Whatever I need to do,” he said. “I will help you run errands, prepare meals, sit with Andrea at the hospital, get reports from across the state, whatever it takes. I have us checked into a hotel nearby because I thought I shouldn't take up space at your parents' house, but if you need me to stay—”

  “Ziad!” Laura was shocked by how her voice cracked. She had known in the back of her mind how much pressure she had been under, and how powerful it was, but she had no clue she was so close to the edge.

  “Laura?”

  “I'm just...I just missed you so much, and now you're here, and I don't know what to do with it.”

  “I missed you too. Every day and in ways that I didn't even realize. I really am a very stupid man sometimes.”

  “Of course you aren't!”

  “Not about most things. About this matter? I have been ridiculous. Laura, I was wrong. I was wrong when I tried to convince you to stay with me in Yeni. I was wrong every day I did not call you to beg your forgiveness and to thank you for what you have done for Jamila and Hasan. I need you, and I missed you, and I hope it is not too late to make that up to you.

  A part of Laura thrilled at knowing that Ziad had reconsidered his stance and that he realized how wrong he had been. Another part, however, had broken at his words. There was duty there, gratitude and care, and those were all good things, but it wasn't love.

  Not like I love him, she thought, because some things had become painfully obvious to her while they were apart.

  He had never promised her love. He had never promised her the rest, either, and she told herself that some things were simply the way they were.

  “It's not too late at all,” she said. “Life's what it is, and all we can do is move forward and be good to the people who care about us.”

  She paused.

  “On a totally separate note, did I see that Jamila was wearing jeans? That's new.”

  Ziad laughed wryly.

  “She is. The moment she realized that we were going to America, she insisted on having some American outfits to wear. She even had a few brand names she wanted me to keep in mind for the shopper who met us at LaGuardia.”

  “Oh, that sounds like Emily's work,” Laura said automatically, and then she flinched momentarily. It was exactly the kind of silly and frivolous thing that Ziad usually watched out for, but he only laughed.

  “Well, it sounds like Jamila's a big fan of her taste in fashion. I take it they've talked a little during your video calls home?”

  “Yes. Jamila comes by, and she loves—that is…you don't mind, do you?”

  “No, though I might be feeling a little left out,” he said, not looking away from the road. “If you wouldn't mind the company, I would be happy to sit in on some of those calls with you. I did once, and it was fun. I think it would be a nice family thing if we did it regularly.”

  Laura realized with a jump that Ziad was nervous that she might say no, and something in her melted.

  “Of course,” she said. “It would be a great family time.”

  It wasn't love, but it was family, and she took a deep breath as they drove into the dusk.

  21

  “Okay, honey, no, I'm painting right now, I can't look at the video, okay?”

  Jamila pouted, but Laura's mother stepped in, scooping her up in a big hug.

  “It's okay, baby girl. Grandma needs a break, so you can show me all the videos you like.”

  Laura, from her stepladder, grinned.

  “That's a great idea, Mom. We're just on the trim in here, and you shouldn't be doing it anyway since you have that bad crick in your neck.”

  “Oh, don't start that again, sweetie,” her mother said cheerfully. “I know you have it all in hand. Mila and I are just going to watch some videos, and then we'll be right back. That is, as long as you've got things handled in here?”

  Laura threw an amused glance to the other side of the room, where Ziad and Jake had most of a new bed assembled. It looked much as it had the last time she had looked over, and they were both looking increasingly concerned about the diminishing pile of screws and parts they had left.

  “Is the problem that they sent half the wrong headboard?” Ziad muttered. “Is that the problem? It can't be—it looks like everything is here.”

  “I think we've got it handled, Mom,” she said with a wry grin, and laughing, her mother went out to the living room where Grandpa was already entertaining Hasan.

  Jake's come a long way in two weeks, she thought, going back to painting the last bit of the trim. He was so shy around Ziad when he first showed up, and look at them now.

  Ziad's patience and unfailing kindness had won Jake over, and now the two of them were settling into being good friends. She hadn't realized that Jake had started watching I Love Lucy on late-night television with her grandpa, and of course once Ziad heard that, there was no separating them.

  Of all things to bring together my grandpa, my brother, and my husband. It sent a little shiver down her back, thinking it.

  She and Ziad had been married for months now, but it was only when he had come to spend time in New Jersey that it felt as if they were really husband and wife. The passion had always been a part of it, and in their hotel room after they had spent the day with her family, it still was, but this was different.

  It's duty and care and responsibility. She tried not to wish that it was more. It was for her. She knew it didn't need to be for him.

  Resolutely, she turned back to the trim, putting the final touch of white paint on the wood, and then she climbed down off the stool.

  Previously, Emily and Andrea had shared the room, and before that, before she had gone off to school, she had shared it with them. Now she was gone, and Emily had just found a friend to room with closer to the college. For the first time, Andrea was going to have a room all to herself, and they had all decided that she should get a surprise when she came home.

  The walls were painted her favorite shade of light green, and a little bit of trim around the edges of the room made the green pop. The beds the girls had all used were old and out of date to say the least, so Ziad had stepped in and purchased her a new bedroom set, which now seemed to be put together completely, even if Ziad and Jake were still staring at it dubiously.

  “All done, guys?” she asked, coming up to wrap her arms around Ziad's waist.

  “Gross,” Jake said when Ziad turned around to kiss her, and Ziad chuckled.

  “You’re going to want to cover your eyes,” he advised, and Laura giggled as Jake did just that. Ziad dipped her in an extravagant kiss.

  By the time Ziad let her up, Laura was breathless, her hair was probably a mess, her face flushed red, and she did not care at all. The only thing that was worth caring about at the moment was that her family was happy, Andrea was coming home today, and her husband's smile was brighter and hotter than the sun.

  Jake had made himself scarce, and for a moment, Laura breathed in the rare quiet in her parents’ house. She wondered when it had stopped being her house, and she looked around curiously, suddenly slightly disoriented.

  “Is something wrong?” asked Ziad. “Do you see a screw or a part we should have put in?”

  “Ha, no, it looks like you two did a great job. It's just that I love this house. I always will. I lived here for eighteen years.

  “But?”

  “But it's not really home anymore, is it?” she asked, and Ziad frowned.

  “Is it having me here?” he asked with concern. “Does it make it too different for you?”

  “No, but having you here after being here without you really does bring things into focus.”

  She took a deep breath. She wondered if she was making too much out of nothing, if he would understand at all. Ziad wasn't the kind of man who would laugh at her for something he didn't agree with, but he could be a little more practical than she was, hold different priorities.

  “You are home,” she said simply. “It doesn't matter where we are. You and the kids are home for me, and if you're not there, it's not home. It's just a house.”

  She gasped as he pulled her into his arms again, holding her more tightly than he had before. She wondered if she could feel him shaking a little bit as he clung to her.

  “Ziad?”

  “It is nothing,” he said softly. “Well. It is nothing and it is everything. You cannot know how much it means to me to hear you say that.”

  He pulled back to look into her eyes, and Laura's heart rose into her throat. The whole world teetered on the edge, and something new was opening up in front of her. She could feel it…and then there was a giggle from the doorway.

  They both turned to see Hasan on the floor, peering at them with a wide baby grin from the doorjamb.

  “Oh, sweetie, be careful, someone might step on you there,” Laura said automatically, going to scoop him up. “Did you get away from Dedushka? Did you head for the hills the moment you could?”

  She turned back to find Ziad watching them both with a meltingly warm smile on his face. Dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, both splattered with paint and slightly the worse for the wear after putting Andrea's new room together, he was breathtakingly handsome. She could see both the proud sheikh and the calm and gracious man her family was coming to adore, and God, she loved them both. She loved every part of him, and she knew she always would. It barely hurt at all.

  I wonder what he was going to say before Hasan made his appearance. She opened her mouth to ask him just as Emily popped her head into the room.

  “Ah, there's the little escapee,” she said, taking Hasan out of Laura's arms. “Grandpa just looked away for a second, and suddenly Hasan was on the ground and booking it.”

  “Grandpa has a cane, so I can see how Hasan would have eluded him. What's your excuse?” Laura asked with a laugh.

  “I just thought it was really cute watching Hasan be the baby version of sneaky as he went looking for Mommy and Daddy. Don't worry, I had my eyes on him. I wasn't going to let anyone drop something on him. Anyway, Dad called ahead—they're right down the street.”

  Andrea's coming home, Laura thought with joy, and as Emily walked off with Hasan, she turned to Ziad.

  “Thank you,” she said quietly. “Andrea's here and alive and on the mend, and you helped make it possible.”

  “Your family is important to you,” he said. “You understand loyalty and duty to your family. It makes you a rare gem in this world.”

  “It's love,” she said, smiling even as something nibbled at her heart. “Whatever way you cut it, it’s love, and it always has been.”

  Before she could ask herself what that meant for her and Ziad, before she could start to think again about what a marriage that was duty and loyalty but not love meant, she turned and followed Emily, leaving Ziad to trail behind her.

  The benefit of having a large family in a small house was that there was always someone around to be distracting, always some project she could be helping out with. She left Ziad talking with her mother about something Jamila had said and walked into the kitchen where Emily was poking dubiously at the large pot of stew bubbling on the stove. Hasan had been stashed in his high chair and given a few raisins to eat in his own time.

  She reached for the refrigerator door, hoping to find something cold to drink, but Emily called her over to the stove.

  “Hey, taste this and tell me if it’s right. I'm following Grandma's recipe, and I think I did everything right, but it tastes kind of flat.”

  Laura took a sip from the spoon her sister offered her and reached up into the spice cabinet.

  “Salt,” she said, adding a generous sprinkling. “Grandma always used salted butter, and Mom doesn't. If you're cooking with Grandma's recipes here, you need to add more salt almost every time.”

  “Ooh, that is better,” Emily said, tasting a second time. “No wonder I couldn't get it to taste right while you were gone.”

  “Well, now you know.”

  They lapsed into silence for a moment, and abruptly, Emily spoke again.

  “Not that we want you to stick around.”

  “Emily! What the heck?”

  “No, not like that! I mean, it's not like I made inedible food while you were gone or anything. If Mom told you I did, that was like, one time and I was trying to study for an exam at the same time, and—”

  “Emily, what are you talking about?”

  Emily sighed, pushing her hair out of her eyes. It struck Laura all over again how grown-up her little sister looked these days. Jake was older than Emily was, closer to Laura in age, but she thought there was a bond that came from being the two oldest girls in their loud and rambunctious family. They had certainly fought while they were teenagers, but growing up had given them both a little more perspective and some sympathy for each other.

  “Look, I know, and everyone else here knows how hard you work and how much you do for us. I mean, I can barely imagine it sometimes, how much you gave up.”

  “I didn't give anything up,” Laura said, a sharp edge in her voice. “Never. I never did anything I didn't want to do.”

  “I know, I know. But now Andrea's on the mend, and things are okay. Better than okay. We're good. We miss you a lot, but that's just the way life is, right? We grow up, we do our own thing, we make time for each other, and we come back when we need each other and to have fun.”

  “Well, yes, that is the way it goes ideally.”

  “So if you want to go, if your heart's taking you somewhere far away from New Jersey on a permanent basis, you should go.”

  Laura was still wondering when her little sister had gotten so wise when Emily winked at her.

  “And who knows, you might have some company there at some point—”

  “Wait, what are you talking about?”

  Before Emily could explain, there was a burst of noise and chatter from the front door, where her father and Marcus had returned home with Andrea between them. Andrea was even thinner than she had been, and her hair had been cut down to a pixie cut during the course of her treatment, but the grin on her face made Laura's heart ache in the best way. She found herself standing next to Ziad, hanging on to his hand tightly as everyone exclaimed over Andrea, welcoming her home, and showing her her new room before they all settled down for a home cooked meal, supplemented by the fast food hamburgers her father had picked up on the way home.

  “Oh, come on!” Emily complained. “I spent all day cooking and you bring home fast food?”

  “Sorry,” said Andrea, sounding anything but. “They wouldn't let me have anything fun while I was at the hospital, and I convinced Dad.”