See? This is why single dads shouldn’t date. Not for a long time.

  Except even that justification didn’t feel right. He’d seen the connection between Emma and Daisy. He’d believed in Daisy’s sincerity. He’d felt the sizzling connection, the way they’d been on the same page. The intrinsic sense of trust between them.

  Unless he’d just been wrong.

  Time crawled until it was time to pick Emma up from school. And today, when she piled into the back seat, her stoniness radiated off her.

  “Emma,” James began tentatively.

  “I don’t want to talk about it!” she shouted.

  He flexed his jaw as he pulled out of the pickup line. “Well, I think we need to. Your principal called me today.”

  “Derek was being a jerk to me. He deserved what he got.” Emma had her arms crossed across her chest, staring out the windshield, pouting like her mouth would stay there forever.

  “How was he being a jerk?”

  “He said you were poop for breaking up with Daisy, and that Daisy had probably already found a better boyfriend, and that this would probably ruin the entire season for the team.”

  James winced as he drove down the tree-shaded roads near her school. “Man, who is this kid? I’ll beat him up myself.” He looked at Emma through the rearview mirror. She hadn’t budged from her defiant, angry posture. “Listen, here’s the truth, kid. Daisy broke up with me. Okay? I didn’t want to end things. But the fact of the matter is that we’ve both got a lot to focus on right now. There just isn’t time for more.”

  “Right. Because of football,” she spat.

  “Well…yes,” James said hesitantly, feeling like this was a trap somehow.

  “It’s always football,” Emma went on. “I’m so tired of football.” Every time she said the word, her tone got more sarcastic. He’d never seen her act like this before. Like everything was just pouring out. “You’re always playing it, thinking about it. You care about it more than anything. More than me, Mom, and now Daisy.”

  James was stunned to silence as he pulled up to a red light. The only sound between them was Emma’s heavy breathing and the click of his blinker.

  “Emma girl,” he started, “you know that’s not true.”

  “It’s the only thing you care about,” she said again, doubling down. “Football used to be fun, when it was a family thing, and Mom and I would come to the games and parties. But ever since Mom left, it just takes you away. And now it took Daisy away.”

  Emma’s lip trembled, and she stared out the side window for the remainder of the drive home. His chest went tight, unsure where to begin. What to even say. Emma had detonated a bomb in the car, and it seemed like anywhere he looked there was shrapnel.

  When they finally got home, Emma ran inside the house and shut herself in her room. James wandered the house, unsure where to go from here. He wanted to make things right…but how? Besides, Emma needed to cool down. And he didn’t even know what he could do to coax her back into a good mood. This was way beyond the power of ice cream or a surprise movie night.

  James headed for the den, but as soon as his gaze landed on his leather recliner, his chest went tight for other reasons. No place was safe in his house. Everything brought memories of Daisy, or of the ways he’d fucked up with Emma. Could he get nothing right with women?

  He finally opted to go mow the lawn, even though it didn’t need mowing, thanks to the landscaping company he paid to tend it. But it was the most mundane dad activity he could conceive of. His lawn was huge, so he’d have plenty of time to zone out and figure out what the right next step might look like when it came to his daughter. He headed for the shed, fought with the push mower—because he needed the physical activity too—before finally it roared to life.

  As he began a careful diagonal pattern across the backyard, his mind wandered to the problem at hand. Was he truly the stupid one here? Emma wasn’t entirely wrong when it came to her mother. James had prioritized football over his marriage, which had led to a slow unraveling of their relationship. Football always ate up the lion’s share of his time during the season and dominated the family’s social life year-round. He remembered Mary complaining about that a lot—how they always hung out with his teammates, forced to socialize with the football wives instead of her own friends. Every Sunday was spoken for from August to sometimes February, and she’d once said there was no achievement that she could reach that would shine as great as what happened in football.

  Against the roar of the lawnmower, James thought back on how he’d been single-parenting Emma since Mary’s move to Singapore. It wasn’t like she’d left him in an easy position. And yes, he had help via the nanny, but a nanny was no replacement for a mother. And it wasn’t like Emma or James expected Daisy to fill that role. But she’d connected with Emma on her own terms, in her own way. And that meant a lot.

  But it wasn’t enough. Clearly.

  James needed to be here more for his daughter. The seventy-hour work weeks weren’t cutting it for his nine-year-old.

  Something needed to change. And the longer he focused on the diagonal pattern of his lawn, the louder the answer whispered inside of him.

  17

  “Margarita. The butter.” Daisy’s father’s deep rumble from across the kitchen soothed her. This was the second family dinner they’d called at her place since her break up with James, and she knew they were doing it as a way to make sure she was making it through okay.

  Because even though they didn’t understand why she’d done it, and maybe didn’t even agree with it…they still wanted her to be okay. They were supporting her in the best way they knew how.

  Moussaka.

  Daisy passed him the butter he’d asked for, glancing back at her brother, who was busy working on a baklava. “Alex, do you need anything?”

  He grunted, all his focus on his dessert creation. “I’m good.”

  Her mother was across the kitchen at the sink, washing a few dirty dishes. Wordlessly, she reached for a spatula and handed it off to her husband, without him even needing to ask. He received it with a private smile meant only for her, and then continued with his meal preparation.

  Daisy felt an odd pang inside of her. It felt a lot like the odd pangs that now composed her daily existence. The heartbreak she was beating back with a stick, tamping it down with rationalizations and reminders at every turn.

  Because she didn’t want to admit how much it hurt to end things with James. She didn’t want to be wrong about it. She didn’t want to think she’d walked away from the only man who had ever made sense for her, and her life.

  But the more time went by, that was the only thing she could think.

  What if she and James could have ended up like her parents? Passing spatulas without being prompted, thirty years down the road?

  Feeling extraneous while her family worked on dinner, she pulled out her phone and did one of multiple daily checks on the social media presence of the football team. She checked out #SavannahSharks to see the latest additions under the hashtag. Word had spread quickly about their relationship ending, and after a ferocious week or two, the gossip mill was finally laying that story to rest.

  But in scrolling through the updates now, she was annoyed to note—as she was most every day—that there was still a specific online contingent of people hell-bent on picking her apart. Assigning blame to her for things that were so far from her control it was almost funny. Criticizing her for choices that Scooter made, speculating that a player’s poor performance wasn’t due to his positive flu test but to her, somehow.

  It was exhausting, still. And after weeks and weeks of this, she’d come to the unpleasant truth of the matter. There was no amount of perfection that she could obtain that would satisfy these people. In fact, she could probably single-handedly lead the Sharks to a Super Bowl blowout—not that it was even possible for her to control—and people would still find a way to blame her for not doing enough.

  But still. What if the vitriol that had driven her away from James had come from this same sect of unhappy, miserable, faceless online identities? The same people who would shit on her for breathing.

  The knot in her belly returned, reminding her of its urgency, of its unpleasantness.

  The past few weeks without James to spend time with, confide in, to kiss endlessly…well, they’d been nothing short of grueling. She hadn’t realized how much she’d come to lean on him. Maybe even love him. Her throat tightened and she pocketed her phone. She didn’t want to bring love into it, but she feared love had made its way in anyway.

  Except James was so disappointed in her, he’d probably never look at her the same way again.

  Someone nudged her. She looked up, finding Alex watching her with a severe look on his face.

  “Okay. Spill it. Why do you look like someone just killed your cat?”

  She sighed. She needed to school her expressions better when she got lost in the pit of despair. “It’s nothing.”

  “No, it’s James,” her mother corrected.

  Daisy pursed her lips. “Fine, it’s James.”

  “What did he do?” Alex cocked his head. “Do I need to hurt him?”

  “No. He’s done nothing. Or rather, he’s done exactly what I asked of him, which was to end our amazing relationship.” She sighed as her mother began shaking her head across the kitchen and tutting. “I just thought things would be easier by now. Or that I’d feel more…I don’t know, secure in my decision?”

  Alex grimaced. “James is a good guy. I’m sure he’s upset too.”

  “I don’t know. It’s been almost a month. I’m sure if I did go crawling back to him, he’d just laugh.”

  Her father cleared his throat, abandoning his station at the stove so that he could face Daisy. “Margarita, let me tell you a story. When your mother and I finished college, we broke up. Did you know that?”

  Daisy’s eyes widened, and her mother nodded for confirmation.

  “I had no idea.”

  “Yes. We were in the USA, but Konstantina was homesick and wanted to go back to Greece. But I had a job offer here in the States and wanted to stay. We both felt we needed to follow our passions, our deepest desires. So we broke up. She flew back to Greece, and I stayed.”

  Daisy narrowed her eyes, looking between her parents. “Okay…”

  “It was over,” her father went on. “For about a month. But eventually, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I went to Greece to beg her to come back with me. I’d give her anything she needed. I went to her small village in the south and walked straight up to her parents’ door.”

  Her mother smirked while she listened to the story, her eyes shining with the memories.

  “And you know what happened when her father answered that door? He told me she was gone. Because Konstantina had left Greece to fly to America, to come searching for me.”

  “I came back to America then, and I stayed,” her mother added. “For this man.”

  Daisy smiled sadly. “That’s beautiful. But James doesn’t live in a tiny village in Greece. I see him every day.”

  “That’s true,” her father rumbled. “But do you talk to him? Really talk to him about anything other than work?”

  “No. I try not to, honestly. It seems like we should just keep things professional,” she said. Because she knew that if she gave him, or herself, one inch, they’d both be back where they started within a day or two.

  Their connection was that strong, that intense. It sizzled at the periphery of her awareness, simply when they shared the same room. James didn’t even have to be looking at her for her to feel how intensely they were drawn to each other. Some days, it felt like every inch of her body was clamoring to be near him. Like she might actually call or text him in her sleep when her subconscious was in control, begging him to forget everything she’d said.

  Alex smirked. “With anyone else, your approach to keep a break up professional wouldn’t work. But with the two most stubborn people on the face of the planet, of course it’s going to plan.”

  Daisy narrowed her eyes. “What are you getting at?”

  “I’m just saying I’ve never met any more work-obsessed individuals than you two. Well, other than the rest of the people in this house, I suppose,” Alex said with a laugh. “James understands the value of your career, and his own. So of course he’s not going to jeopardize that for you.”

  “Right. It’s what I asked for.” Daisy’s gaze drifted to the stovetop, where her father was stirring the beef. “I just don’t know if I was right.”

  “My Daisy, I think you know the answer to that question. You just aren’t ready to admit it to yourself,” her father said with a wink.

  Emotion clogged her throat, the way it had been randomly over the past few weeks. It bothered her. She sincerely expected things to be getting easier by now. But the truth was simple: she pined for James. The online vitriol hadn’t disappeared. And now, she had one person less in her life who made things beautiful, fun, and rewarding.

  Two people less. Because James was a package deal with Emma, and these weeks away from Emma had been a gut punch as well. When she let her mind wander on sleepless nights, she could see what her ideal world looked like. It would involve her job, of course. But it would also involve picking up Emma from dance class together on Wednesdays after their day at the training facility. It would involve weekly date nights in the off-season. Maybe even extended trips as a family. Family dinners every night; she could invite her parents, and Emma could connect with her possibly soon-to-be step-grandmother. Her heart clenched again, and she realized she was getting too emotional to stay in the kitchen.

  Her mother must have sensed it because she came to Daisy’s side. “My darling,” she said softly, wrapping her in a warm hug. “Go talk to him. You tried things your way. Now maybe there is a new way.”

  Daisy knew her mother was right. Keeping herself away from James was harder and much worse than expected. Her life wasn’t better for it.

  She just hoped that she hadn’t ruined things for good with James and Emma.

  18

  On Sunday, Daisy made a point of swinging by the locker room after the home Sharks game. She told herself it was because she wanted to congratulate the team on yet another win—and this one had been particularly stunning. But more than that, she needed to find her opening to talk to James.

  She’d been practicing her words for a full day since the dinner with her family, and she still had no clear idea of what to do other than throw herself at James’s feet and beg for him to forget about that discussion on the patio.

  Because what they shared was worth the risk. She knew that now.

  Daisy drew fortifying breaths as she followed the hallway toward the waiting room where the media had gathered. She didn’t usually get involved in the postgame fray, especially since news had broken about their relationship, but this couldn’t wait a second longer.

  Some of the Sharks’ family members also lingered in the hall, waiting for their chance to go visit the team. From the other room, the din of eager questions and laughter seeped out. There was no doubt about it—since joining the NFL, her life had been a dream come true. It was a dream she’d kept front and center, and a career she’d fought for.

  And she had no intentions of leaving anytime soon. No matter what her online detractors thought, predicted, or declared.

  Mark’s girlfriend Tessa joined her in the hallway, holding their son’s hand. The cute blonde sent her a bright smile as they approached.

  “Hey, Daisy! Fancy meeting you here.”

  Daisy gave her a quick hug and then ruffled Angus’s hair. “Good to see you both. Coming to congratulate Mark on an awesome day?”

  “Yeah. Angus loves coming to the locker rooms after home games. Don’t you, buddy?” she asked, looking down at her son.

  Angus nodded eagerly. “He played soooo good today. Did you see how many yards he ran in the second quarter? It was so many! He’s the fastest one out there!”

  Daisy’s heart swelled as Angus continued to gush about his father. The boy was too sweet, and possibly the biggest football fanatic she’d ever encountered. That boded well for their family.

  “Your dad is an incredible football player,” Daisy told Angus. “One of the best rookies I’ve seen.”

  “That means something, coming from her,” Tessa said to her son. Then she smiled over at Daisy. “You’ve been a big help to this team, too. It shows.”

  “Aww, I don’t know about that,” Daisy said, swatting away the compliment. But still, she let it warm her. Tried to tuck it away for the future, on the days when she felt like she was one breath away from being fired and everything crumbling around her.

  “You’re just being humble,” Tessa said. “I get it. But you’re part of an incredible season for this team.” Her smile faded slightly as she looked past Daisy and further down the hallway. “It’ll be weird next year, you know?”

  “Why’s that? Is Mark thinking about going somewhere else?”

  Tessa’s gaze snapped back to Daisy, her brows drawing together. “No. I mean because of James.”

  Daisy’s stomach immediately plummeted. The tone in Tessa’s voice wasn’t the one used for good news. Her mouth went dry, almost too afraid to learn more.

  “Didn’t he tell you?” Tessa pressed.

  “No. I, uh…what happened?”

  Tessa’s chin dipped, and she looked sincerely distraught. “He’s retiring. This is his last season.”

  Daisy stared at Tessa with wide eyes for what felt like a full year. Everything inside her had jammed to a stop. “What? How could he…? Why would he do that?”

  Tessa shrugged. “He’s been the center of this team for years. Maxwell is torn up about it. Mark is just getting started, but James helped him find his footing and really become part of the team. It’ll be weird, you know? I just hope losing him doesn’t mean the team falls to pieces.”

  Daisy swallowed a knot in her throat, anxiety beginning a threatening swirl through her limbs. This was huge news. And it felt like her fault.