I’d never imagined wanting anything like this for myself, but I was somehow edging closer. I could see the appeal, but finding a real ride-or-die love, like the kind Jess and Tim had, didn’t feel like an option for me. I wasn’t sure I could roll with the ups and downs. Like the way Max was acting. I could tell something was wrong, so why wasn’t she being open with me?

  What I couldn’t figure out was why I felt so driven to get to the bottom of her strange mood. Usually, I’d sense a problem in a relationship and head for the hills. Max made me want to wrestle with whatever was going on until I beat it into submission. Dealing with trouble was worth it if it meant I got to be happy with her again in the end.

  The music swelled and it was our turn to walk down the aisle. Every head swiveled to face us, but the only person I strained to find was Max. I spotted her next to my mom, beaming at Jess. I caught her eye and winked, and to my shock her smile dimmed a bit.

  What the hell was going on?

  Once Jess was united with Tim at the end of the aisle, I claimed my spot next to Max. I felt my mom’s eyes burning a hole into me when the officiant started talking about how fate leads us to our person, and how it was the happy couple’s wish that everyone would find a love like theirs.

  Max had her arms crossed over her chest so I couldn’t hold her hand. Instead, I reached over and placed my hand on her leg. She didn’t move away, but she didn’t reciprocate either.

  We definitely needed to talk, or it was going to be a long night.

  Her expression softened once Jess and Tim were declared man and wife and we all stood to clap for them. The live band under the tent across the property started playing, signaling the party had started.

  We waited in the crush of people making their way out of the ceremony area to the open bars scattered near the tent.

  “They’re probably going to need me for more pictures, but I’ve got a few minutes,” I told Max. “What can I get you to drink?”

  Max opened her mouth then shut it abruptly. “Um … champagne, I guess.”

  “On it,” I said. “The apps are coming out shortly. Want me to track down a steak and blue cheese bruschetta for you? A shrimp tartlet, perhaps?”

  Jess had run all of her options past me even though I let her have free reign.

  Max looked a little green. “Nope, I’m good. Maybe grab me a water too?”

  “Of course. Back in a sec. We’re at table four if you want to get settled.”

  I joined the crush at the bar and watched Max move through the tables. She looked … tentative. It was so unlike her. I was relieved when my mom and aunt joined her at the table. I could tell even from a distance that they were cooing over how gorgeous she looked.

  I’d dated beautiful women before. Models, actresses, the type of women who turned every head. But there was something magnetic about Max that drew people to her. Her gigantic smile and warm eyes made people want to get closer to her. It was just one of her many gifts.

  I finally got drinks and managed to snag a small plate of apps on the way to our table.

  “Ladies,” I said, glancing at my gathered relatives and placing the champagne and food in front of Max with a flourish.

  “Honey, you look so handsome,” my mom cooed as I sat down next to Max. “And Max is a vision in that dress! Maybe you two will be making your own trip down the aisle soon, hm?”

  I chuckled and glanced at Max. She was staring at the plate in front of her, taking slow breaths and exhaling through pursed lips.

  “And then,” my mom continued, “grandbabies!”

  Max pushed back from the table so violently that the silverware clanged and the champagne flutes tottered.

  “Excuse me for a minute,” she said, then quickly threaded her way through the crowd.

  I debated following her, but she was out of sight before I could figure out where she was headed.

  31

  MAX

  I couldn’t hide out in the bathroom for the whole reception, no matter how much I wanted to.

  The waves of nausea kept surprising me, but nothing was coming out. I hated vomiting. Maybe that was it? If I could just let go and get it out of my system, would the sick stomach feelings finally stop?

  I was lucky because it was the best kind of bathroom for privacy, a grand space with large, individual stalls behind solid wood doors. Not soundproof, but not as bad as the kind of stall where you could see the feet of the person next to you. At least no one could spot me hugging the toilet once I finally started puking my guts up.

  I waited until the sounds of other women faded then finally walked out to check my face. I was definitely pale, but I still looked damn good. I turned sideways to see if the form-fitting gown would give away my secret. Nope. My stomach was still as flat as ever.

  How was I going to fake it for the rest of the night? I obviously wasn’t doing a good job since Theo kept asking me what was going on with me. If he only knew. I still hadn’t figured out the right time to tell him about the pregnancy, but his cousin’s wedding certainly wasn’t the place. Especially considering how upset he was going to be. I needed to let him know he didn’t have to be a part of our baby’s life since he clearly had no interest in raising a family.

  When I rejoined the table, the first course had already been delivered. Salad, I could handle that.

  A waiter appeared, brandishing a bottle of white wine. “Chardonnay?”

  Theo glanced at me then pointed to my still full champagne glass. “Do you not like that?”

  I shook my head with a lie ready to go. “It wasn’t my favorite, so yes to a glass of wine.”

  I knew the fastest way to make people suspicious about what was going on in your womb was to skip alcohol at a party, so I made a point to pretend to sip the champagne and act like I was interested in chardonnay.

  “Max, you’re barely eating,” Elena said loudly, drawing everyone’s attention to me and my plate of greens. “You a carnivore or something?”

  I laughed. “Sure, I’m saving my appetite for the filet mignon.”

  Even saying the words made my stomach dip. I nibbled on a carrot and cucumber and pushed the contents of my plate around until it looked like I’d actually eaten something.

  “The dancing starts soon,” Theo said, leaning close to whisper in my ear. “Right after the next course, in between dinner and dessert. I can’t wait to hold you close.”

  Goosebumps scattered up my arms. Damn it, I didn’t want him to have this effect on me! I needed to be stony, unmoved by how absolutely incredible he looked in his tux. Or by how much I was dying to float across the floor in his capable arms.

  No. I needed to put up walls around my heart. Because tonight was the beginning of the end. It might not seem like it now, but the second Theo heard my news I knew he’d be done with me. I knew he wouldn’t wash his hands of me or our baby—he wasn’t that kind of man. He’d be more than willing to provide whatever financial support we needed. But sticking around, being a dad? He’d made it clear that wasn’t his thing.

  “Have I told you how stunning you look tonight?” he whispered.

  I hid a smile. “About a dozen times. But thank you.”

  Theo ran his hand down his lapels and gave me an expectant look. “Do you have anything you want to say to me?”

  “Have I not?”

  He shook his head and pretended to be hurt.

  “Theo, you look devastating in that tux.” I paused. “But you already know that.”

  He burst out laughing. “Yeah, you’re right, I do.”

  I couldn’t help laughing, too. It was a moment of fun that made me forget all of the heavy stuff in front of us. In front of me. There was nothing good about what was to come.

  A team of waiters cleared our salad plates and began delivering the main course. I caught the scent of warm meat and had to swallow hard.

  “Looks incredible,” Theo said, rubbing his hands together like a kid. “I’m starving.”

  “Bon appetit,” Elena said, brandishing her fork at everyone gathered around the table.

  I willed myself to cut in and take a bite. Just one, tiny nibble. The Hasselback potato should be fine to try, too. I hadn’t eaten in hours, so maybe some solid food would counteract the nausea?

  I drew my knife across the piece of meat and realized it was rare when a trickle of blood spilled onto the plate.

  And that was all it took. I clamped my hand over my mouth and took off for the bathroom again. Theo was deep in conversation with the man seated to his right—I wasn’t sure if he even noticed me leaving, and I wasn’t going to look back to check. I tried doing multiplication tables in my head to stay focused as I dashed toward the bathroom, and I prayed that no one would be in there to witness what was about to go down.

  Or up.

  Three … two … one … I kicked the door open and ran past a woman walking out, slamming the stall door shut behind me. I bent over and set everything swirling in my stomach free. It felt awful. I dropped to my knees when I could finally breathe again and clutched the bowl.

  There was a soft rap on the door. “You okay in there?”

  I hadn’t realized anyone else was in the bathroom. I blushed to think they might have overheard me.

  “Mhf,” I managed as another wave hit me.

  “Can I bring you a cool paper towel?”

  It sounded like a perfect idea. “Sure. That would be great, thank you.”

  I heard the faucet turn on then another soft knock. “Can I come in?”

  “Yup.” I sat up straighter and dragged the back of my hand across my mouth, just in case.

  The woman who peeked her head in looked like a worried fairy godmother, with a smooth updo of grey hair and a ruffled purple dress.

  “Here,” she said, thrusting the paper towels out to me. “How about a drink of water?”

  I pressed the cool towels to my forehead and sighed. “No, this is great. Thank you.”

  “Did something not agree with you?” she asked in a low voice, giving me a half wink. “A little too much celebrating maybe?”

  I shook my head. “I haven’t had a drop.”

  Her gaze swept up my body so quickly I almost didn’t catch it. “Well, is there someone I can call for you, sweetheart? So you’re not alone in here?”

  “No, I’m good. I think I’m empty now.” I gave her a wan smile.

  “Okay then. Good luck, missy. Feel better. We’re going back to the party, but if we don’t see you out there soon I’m going to come right back in here to check on you.”

  She shut the door gently, and I heard her murmuring with another woman before they left.

  I finally felt well enough to stand up, so I walked to the sink to wash my hands.

  A loud banging on the door to the restroom made me jump. “Max, are you okay?”

  Theo. What the hell was he doing, tracking me down like this?

  He poked his head in looking worried. “Hey. What’s going on with you?”

  I tried to fight off the undertow of seasickness pulling me down again. “What? I’m in the bathroom, is that not allowed?”

  “Max, you’ve been gone for a half hour.”

  I frowned. “Really?”

  “Yes, the whole table was asking what happened to you.” He walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. “Is there anyone else in here? Are we alone?”

  I glanced around the room and pointed to the open doors on the half dozen stalls. “Yes. Why?”

  His face went pale and he stared at me in silence.

  Theo finally took a deep breath. “I passed two women coming out of here and I overheard them saying …”

  He trailed off then let his eyes drop down my body, just as my gut turned inside out. I clamped my hand over my mouth and ran to the closest stall, slamming the door behind me just in time.

  I was mortified that Theo could hear me puking my guts up. His heavy footfalls echoed off the marble, which made it clear that he wasn’t leaving until I came out.

  When I finally felt a bit more even-keeled I walked to the sink, avoiding looking at him. I turned on the faucet and cupped my hands under the water so I could rinse my mouth out, then blotted my face with a paper towel.

  “Max …” he reached for my hand.

  I finally looked at Theo and felt tears inexplicably welling. His eyes searched my face, scanning me like he was trying to read my mind.

  “When were you going to tell me?” he whispered, his expression pained.

  I jerked my head back, frowning at him. “Tell you what?”

  He sighed. “When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

  I looked down at the floor and didn’t respond. The tears I’d been trying to swallow rolled down my cheeks.

  “Hey,” Theo murmured. “It’s okay.”

  He pulled me close and folded his arms around me. As much as I wanted to move away, to put distance between us now that we’d reached the beginning of the end, I leaned into his embrace. The tears flowed silently, for what was, and what would never be.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  I opened my mouth to remind him of all the things he’d said on the balcony at his condo when the door burst open.

  “Oh!”

  A group of three young women in sequins and satin tripped into the bathroom then squealed when they saw Theo.

  “It’s okay,” I said quickly as I stepped away from Theo. “We’re leaving. Sorry about that.”

  They laughed and stared at him as he walked out, probably wondering what he was doing in the lady’s room with a blotchy, sorry mess like me.

  “Do you want to leave?” he asked me, reaching for my hand yet again as we headed for the gardens.

  I shook my head. “No, this is an important day for your family, and you belong here with them. I should be fine.”

  “But we need to talk about everything.”

  He looked down at me with an intensity I’d never seen before. I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

  “We can, later. For now we need to be here for Jess and Tim, and the rest of your family.”

  But the second we hit the top step of the balcony and the wall of noise and smells hit me, I knew there was no way I could fake it much longer.

  32

  THEO

  Could everyone tell that I was freaking the fuck out on the inside?

  Somehow, I managed to smile and chat with everyone at our table like I hadn’t just gotten my world turned upside down in the ladies’ lounge.

  Holy shit. Max was pregnant.

  I downed the rest of my drink when I saw the waiter headed my way and signaled him for another. Someone must’ve told the staff that I was footing the bill for the entire event because while they were attentive to everyone, they were treating me like a king.

  I glanced at Max. She was doing her best to stick it out until the very end, but I could see that she was fading. She hadn’t jumped up to run back to the bathroom in a while, so at least she had that going for her. But she wasn’t eating, and she looked exhausted.

  I scrolled through my phone to do some quick research then beckoned the head waiter back to our table.

  “Would it be possible for someone in the kitchen to make this?” I asked, showing him my phone screen.

  He squinted at it. “Of course. How many?”

  “Just one, for her,” I pointed at Max, who was busy listening to my uncle talk about his golf game.

  A few minutes later the waiter presented the drink to Max on a silver platter. “For you, miss.”

  She looked around in confusion as she took it. “What’s this?”

  I leaned close so I could whisper in her ear. “A pineapple ginger smoothie. Supposed to be good for pregnancy nausea. You need to get something in your stomach.”

  “Thank you.” Max stared at me for a beat then took a sip of it, her eyes widened in surprised relief. “Amazing. Just what I needed.”

  I wanted to reach out to reassure her that everything would be okay, but suddenly I wasn’t sure how to be with her. It felt like she had a forcefield surrounding her, keeping her just out of my reach. I could understand why, though. This unexpected pregnancy changed everything between us. Tonight was supposed to be the official end of our contract, but now …

  Well, that was exactly what we needed to discuss.

  The music changed to Harry Connick Jr., and I leaned closer to Max. “Dance?”

  She shook her head. “I’m exhausted. I’m barely staying awake at this point.”

  That was obvious. She seemed like a shadow of the Max I knew.

  The good news was we were more than halfway through the reception. Jess had changed into her second party dress, and people were starting to get drunk and rowdy on the dancefloor. I glanced at Max again.

  “Do you want to leave?”

  She looked shocked. “No, you have to be here, right? We can’t go.”

  “That’s not what I asked. Do you want to leave, Max?”

  Her eyes flicked around the room, taking in the chaos. “Yeah,” she said softly. “I do. I can take a cab, you stay and have fun with your family.”

  “No way,” I said, already halfway out of my chair. “Give me a few minutes.”

  I stole away to tell my mom we had to go without giving her any details, then found the event manager and signed all the necessary documents for the night, making sure to include a hefty tip for the staff. I sent word down to the valet so my car would be ready, too.

  Max was essentially sleeping with her eyes open when I got back to the table.

  “We’re okay to go,” I murmured. “No need to say goodbyes, we’re going to sneak out. No one will notice, trust me.”

  Max fell asleep on the short drive back to my place, and I stared at her before waking her. Such a puzzle, this beautiful girl.