“What?” The word was so sharp it could’ve cut glass. Logan couldn’t blame his brother. Not really. In hindsight, it probably hadn’t been the best idea, no matter how perfect it had felt at the time. “That… I don’t even know what to say about that, man. No. Wait. I do know what to say. What the hell were you thinking?”

  “I don’t know,” Logan sat forward in his chair, his bare toes curling on the cold floorboards and his cooling coffee untouched. “Hell, I wasn’t thinking. Not with the right parts of my anatomy anyway. That’s the problem.”

  “Got that right.” Jeremy wasn’t one to pull punches, which was exactly why Logan had called him. “Shit. That was a terrible idea.”

  “Dammit. I can see that now. But it felt right at the time. When I think back on it, it still does. Which only confuses me more because I know I shouldn’t be doing this.” He scrubbed a hand over the rough stubble on his jaw and stared out at streaks of color near the horizon. Inside, he heard the first stirrings of Hope moving about and his heart pinched. She’d said she wanted him last night, and the sex had been amazing, but Logan refused to force her to go against her principles or worse, let her into his life again, only to hurt her in the end. “I know. I know. I know. But it’s done, and now I need to figure out how to proceed. That’s why I’m calling you.”

  “Well, first off, don’t sleep with her again,” Jeremy said, and Logan could just picture him pacing the floor in his home office. “It would be one thing if you were both genuinely looking to get back together again and resolve the issues between you, but I’m guessing that’s not the case, right? Otherwise, you wouldn’t be calling me.” He cursed under his breath, then sighed. “Which means this was a hook up. We talked about this, Logan. About substituting other things for the booze to make yourself feel better, like sex. If that’s what’s happening here, then it’s going to lead to more poor decisions and one or both of you will get hurt. You and Hope have been through enough with each other already, don’t add more fuel to the fire. Especially now that there will be a baby involved.”

  Unexpected defensiveness rose within him, making the back of his neck prickle. He wasn’t using Hope like that. They’d slept together last night by mutual consent, as two adults making a conscious choice. There weren’t any ulterior motives.

  Were there?

  Shit. He felt so confused he didn’t know anymore. For a guy who was so brilliant on the battlefield, he sure was fucked up in his private life. He took a deep breath and hung his head. Jeremy was right that he would never want to do anything to hurt the baby.

  “Logan?”

  “Yeah. I’m here.” The sun crested over the tree line, and Logan squinted into the brightness. “No. You’re right. I need to keep my distance from Hope, emotionally at least. It’s best for the situation and for both our own good. Thanks, Jer.”

  “Call me later,” his brother said. “We should talk more about this.”

  “I will. Gotta go.” He ended the call and tossed his cold coffee into the grass and went back inside for a fresh cup of energy. Hope was sitting at the kitchen table now with her laptop, frowning adorably. She’d pulled on a pair of pink PJs covered with white dancing cupcakes, and a white robe atop them. On her feet were fluffy pink slippers. Her hair was piled atop her head in a messy bun, and she looked good enough to eat.

  Not good. Not good at all.

  His first instinct was to kiss her, so he headed for the opposite side of the kitchen instead, concentrating far too hard on the coffee machine instead of her. “Good morning.”

  “Morning,” she said, her voice edged with annoyance. “Why can’t I find anything else about this Mick Kleypas guy, Logan? I mean he’s got a website, but nothing else. And I understand that some people like to keep their private lives private, but come on. He doesn’t have any social media accounts. It’s not that his accounts are locked down or bare bones. They just don’t exist. Nothing. Who does that anymore?”

  Logan snorted. “Smart people.”

  “I’m serious. He’s got a small business. Social media is one of the biggest sources of new clients. Why would he not want to take advantage of that? Not for himself, but at least for his business? Seems fishy to me.” She crossed her arms and scowled at her screen, tucking one leg beneath her on the chair. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m just getting too desperate for a lead. Looking for trouble where there isn’t any. I mean, it’s not like it would be the first time I’ve—” She glanced over at him and stopped. “What are you grinning about?”

  He tried to bite back his smile and failed. So, instead, he shrugged. “You’re pretty cute when you’re pissed off.”

  “Bite me.” She huffed. “Seriously, Logan. This is not funny. Someone’s after me and I’m not even sure why. What happened to Diana Lauren to cause all of this? What did she get herself mixed up in? I owe it to Diana Lauren and her family to solve this mystery once and for all, and stupid Mick Kleypas and his chauffeur company aren’t helping me at all. Not to mention my deadline coming up with my editor. I owe her a solid outline, but I can’t get any of these leads to pan out for me, so I’m not even sure what story I’m trying to tell. Is it the story of a girl who ran off? A girl who was threatened? A girl who was attacked? A girl who got in over her head? I really need a hit here.”

  “Hmm.” Logan slid into the seat across from her. Man, it felt good just sitting here like this with her again. When they’d been together, he’d never appreciated their time together like he should have. He was usually home for such short stretches for leave that she usually put her work aside and just focused on spending time with him when he was around. It was great, but it meant that he never really got to be with her like this, to see what her life and her work were really like. This was one of the longest chunks of time they’d ever spent together. He sat back and sipped his coffee. After last night, the atmosphere between them felt more relaxed and right. Logan couldn’t keep from smiling again.

  Hope frowned. “What now? Why are you staring at me?”

  “Nothing.” He laughed. “I just like looking at you, that’s all.”

  Pretty pink color stained her cheeks and she lowered her gaze, the beginnings of a smile forming on her lips before she bit it back, and he felt, suddenly, unaccountably proud of himself. Hope started typing on her laptop again in response, focusing on her screen and not him. “We should concentrate on the case.”

  Keep your distance.

  Jeremy’s voice rang through his head like a claxon, but damn if he could bring himself to follow its advice. He got up and moved closer to Hope, leaning over her shoulder to see the screen as she typed, inhaling her sweet scent. They weren’t getting back together. They both agreed on that. But right now, things were good between them, and they made each other happy. He’d lived through enough life-and-death situations to know better than to waste even a precious second of that fleeting happiness.

  Just because he could, he leaned in and kissed her neck, making her giggle, then he did it again and before he knew it, they were on their way back to the bedroom because life was short and this wasn’t forever, and it just felt so right that he couldn’t not be with her again for now.

  11

  “Well, you certainly seem a lot happier than the last time I saw you,” Ben McGraw said from the other end of her sofa, elbow-deep in pink sparkly tissue paper. “Thank God for that. I was worried.”

  “Thanks. And yeah, I’m feeling pretty happy right now,” Hope said, smiling at her best friend, happy to see him even if he was kind of in bridezilla mode. Ben and his partner were getting married in about a month. She was helping him make party favors for the reception because that’s what friends did when other friends called in a panic. Well, that and she needed a break from her investigation. Logan had gone out on his own to investigate an address she’d found earlier in a public-records search that she hoped might be the C. Parsons they were looking for. Originally, she’d planned to go with him, but then Ben had called and honestly, after last night and this morning, she needed a bit of time away from Logan to sort out her thoughts about everything. Besides, given how the rest of her leads had turned out, she wasn’t expecting much from this one either, so she decided to let Logan go on a wild goose chase without her while Ben came over with a trunk load of supplies.

  She was perfectly content to sit here with her feet up and a cup of hot tea, making origami ostriches—or whatever the hell these things were supposed to be. At Ben’s raised brow and curious stare, she said, “What? I’m happy. That’s good, right?”

  “Sure.” He finished shoving tissue paper into yet another small sparkling bag then set it aside. From the looks of it, they’d made about a thousand of the things so far, with another thousand to go. According to Ben, they had approximately two hundred guests on the list for the wedding so, of course, they needed a million favors. Ben wasn’t exactly known for his moderation. “But come on, Hopey. I do have to wonder what miraculous thing has happened to cause all this sudden joy.” At her silence, he nudged her foot. “It’s a man, isn’t it?” Heat prickled her cheeks despite her wishes and Ben laughed. “I knew it! Who is it? What’s his name? Is it that cute guy from the bank you were drooling over last month? He’s a hottie, no doubt, but word has it he bats for both teams, just so you know.”

  Hope shook her head and set her paper bird aside, next to the enormous flock of other ones on the table. “No, it’s not the bank guy. Anyway, I’m pretty sure he’s a solid hitter exclusively for your side. No, it’s…” She hesitated. They’d known each other for years, and Ben had been the person who’d helped her pick up the pieces after she’d broken up with Logan. He’d made his feelings known about Logan and how he’d acted toward her. Ben wasn’t a fan. To put it mildly. But another thing friends did was be honest with each other, so… “Logan’s been in touch. Actually, he’s staying here and helping me with an investigation for my new book.”

  Ben’s smile slowly fell as he stared at her, his expression going from anticipation to anger in about two seconds flat. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  “Uh, no.” Her cheeks flared hotter. Dammit. When she said it out loud like that, she knew how awful it sounded, but when it was just her and Logan, it wasn’t awful. It was, in fact, pretty darned wonderful. Not that she’d try explaining that to Ben, who didn’t seem inclined to listen. “And don’t look at me like that. It’s just temporary. It’s not like we’re getting back together or anything.”

  “I should hope not. He’s not worthy to lick your boots, girl.” Ben set his tissue paper aside and scowled at her. “And why is he staying here? Doesn’t he have his own place? And need I remind you of what happened the last time he left? I wasn’t sure you’d recover. Do you really want to go through that again?”

  “No, I don’t.” Okay. She’d made what sounded like a poor choice, and on paper it certainly looked that way, but there was more to it. And dammit, she was an adult. She could do what she wanted. She placed a hand over her belly protectively. “And I’m not going to. Like I said, it’s temporary. No strings attached. No emotions involved.” Well, if you didn’t count the lust they’d both been feeling the previous night. She looked away from Ben’s too-perceptive gaze. “Like I said, he’s helping out on the case. And he’s acting as bodyguard too.” She told him about the attacks. “So, really, he’s saving me a lot of money, since I couldn’t afford to hire a bodyguard, and he’s working for free.”

  “Uh-huh.” Ben sounded thoroughly unconvinced. “I mean, that’s great he’s keeping you safe and all, but there are other security specialists in Baltimore. Or the police. They could post an officer outside your house. I just don’t understand why it has to be Logan. If you need to borrow some money to pay for it, Connor and I have savings set aside. I could loan you the money…”

  “No. Don’t be silly.” She sipped her cocoa and frowned at the TV flickering mutely across the room. “I don’t need a loan, and there’s more to it than that.”

  “Like what?” Ben cocked his head, his expression chock full of snark. “I mean, I remember Logan. He’s hot as hell. Anyone would want to tap that, but seriously. Why was he even at your doctor’s appointment when that car bomb went off? Is he stalking you or something?”

  “It’s not that, it’s…” She’d been so worried about miscarriage that the only people she’d told about the baby so far were Logan and her parents, but it seemed wrong to keep it from her best friend. So, she took a deep breath and came out with it. “I’m pregnant. It’s Logan’s.” At Ben’s shocked silence, she added, “And I’m okay with it. In fact, I’m thrilled.”

  Ben blinked at her blankly for a second, then he flung himself across the sofa to hug her tight. “Oh. My. God. Girlfriend, I’m so happy for you!”

  “Thanks!” This was kind of fun, being able to talk to someone about all the baby stuff. Excitement shimmered through her bloodstream. They went over her due date and how she was feeling and even possible names, depending on if it was a girl or boy. Finally, Hope got up to show him the guest room she planned to use as a nursery, since Ben offered to help her decorate it. Normally, gay cliches ticked him off, but he really was good at design. “It’s not very big,” she said as she opened the door and flicked on the lights without looking, “but it’s big enough for a baby, I think.”

  Then she turned to look into the room with Ben and spotted Logan’s neatly stacked things in the corner. Whether it was pregnancy hormones or something else, a sudden sense of loss hit her like a mountain of bricks. Logan was here now, but he’d be going back to his SEAL team soon, and she’d be left to raise the baby alone. It just now struck her what that meant to be a single parent. Day in, day out, all the ordinary things, the trials and troubles and triumphs and losses, she’d have to handle it all on her own. He wouldn’t be there. When she’d been younger, Hope had always pictured having kids, she’d just always thought she’d be married when it happened.

  Ben must have noticed her change in mood because he put his arm around her and pulled her into another hug. “Hey, Hopey, it’ll be okay. I promise. Don’t worry about a thing. You won’t be doing this on your own at all. Connor and I will be here for you, whatever you need. Just let me know, and I’m on it, all right?”

  She nodded, holding on to him longer and tighter than necessary, squeezing her eyes shut so she wouldn’t cry. She could do this. She would do this. She didn’t need Logan. She had wonderful friends and family who’d be there for her no matter what, which was more than she could say for Logan.

  Heart aching, she followed Ben back out to the living room and they settled on the sofa again, this time side by side, as Ben commandeered the remote. He turned up the volume and switched channels to some horrible old horror movie then handed her some tissue paper and bags. “When in doubt, honey, crafting heals all wounds.”

  12

  “You won’t believe what—” Logan said as he walked back into Hope’s place an hour later only to stop short at the sight of Hope asleep on the sofa and her friend Ben scowling at him. “Uh, hello.”

  “Hello, my ass,” Ben growled, getting up carefully so as not to wake Hope, then he walked over and all but dragged Logan down the hall. He wasn’t as big or muscular as Logan, but he was determined as hell, Logan had to give the guy that. They stopped near the end of the hall, out of earshot of the living room before Ben rounded on him again, gaze angry and posture tense. “Don’t you dare hurt her again, understand? Hopey was a mess after you guys broke up. Completely shattered. So, unless you’ve suddenly transformed into the kind of man who deserves her and won’t ever hurt her again, you just need to stop.”

  Taken aback, Logan let his defensiveness get the better of him. “Stop what? There’s nothing going on between us.” Of course, that wasn’t entirely true, but he wasn’t about to tell Ben that. Especially not knowing what Hope might’ve said to him. “And even if there was, since when is it any of your business? Hope and I are both adults. Besides, she broke up with me, not the other way around.”

  Ben narrowed his dark gaze, his lips compressed white. “I don’t give a shit if she painted your flagpole and whistled Dixie. You weren’t the one who had to help pick up the pieces of her life. That was me. I sat with her during those long, cold nights, holding her as she cried herself to sleep. You nearly broke her, Logan. I won’t ever let you do that to her again. You might think you’re so tough, Mr. SEAL, but let me tell you something.” He poked a finger into Logan’s chest. “If you were a real man, you’d want to make sure she never gets hurt again. Real men prevent pain instead of causing it.”

  Logan opened his mouth to respond, but never got the chance because a soft, sleepy voice said from the other end of the hall, “What’s going on down here? Are you guys fighting again?”

  Both men looked at Hope, shamefaced.

  “What? No,” Logan said, stepping back from Ben and releasing his pent-up breath. Much as he hated to admit it, the other guy had gotten to him. “Ben was just telling me something important.”

  “Damn straight I was,” Ben said, head high as he walked past Logan, giving him a warning look. “And don’t you forget it either.” He walked past Hope, giving her a kiss on the cheek as he went. “I need to get this stuff packed up and get home to Connor. He’s making dinner tonight.”

  Hope gave Logan a curious stare then turned back to her friend, her hair a bit rumpled from her nap. “I’ll help you.”

  Something in Logan’s chest squeezed hard and before he knew what he was doing, he was hurrying out to the living room to start picking up boxes and carting them outside. “No. You sit and relax, Hope. I’ll help Ben.”