“Let’s see what we can do about this.” She pushed him over onto his back and kissed her way down his chest to the top of his jeans. With gentle tugs, she removed them along with his boxer briefs, his hard length springing free. Colin seriously feared he might die of pleasure when she grasped him firmly by the base, stroking slowly upward toward his sensitive tip. He watched her work, having more and more trouble not making a noise as she drove him closer to the edge of ecstasy.

  Then she swiped the pad of her thumb across the tip of his cock, gathering the drop of fluid there, and brought it to her lips and yep. He was a goner. Here lies Colin Parks. Died from desire. May he rest in peace. Of course, Harper wasn’t done yet, because just when he thought he couldn’t take anymore without embarrassing himself, she dipped down to envelop him for the first time, swirling her tongue around him, then lowering to take several inches of his cock into her mouth. Oh God. It was too much. It would never be enough. He slid his fingers into her hair and gave her gentle guidance as to what he liked, but after several heady minutes, his fingers tightened against her scalp and he forced her to look at him.

  “I need to be inside you.”

  “I thought you’d never ask.” She gave him a hot-as-hell open-mouthed kiss, then pulled a condom packet out of the nightstand drawer, ripping it open with her teeth before slicking it on to his cock with a playful smile. “Saddle up, cowboy.”

  Colin nearly lost it then, doing his best not to laugh as loudly as he wanted to. He’d never had this much fun during sex before. It was addictive. “Giddy up.”

  He smacked her on the ass and she laughed too.

  Harper placed her knees on either side of his hips and raised herself over him, reaching behind herself to position his tip at her wet entrance. “Ready?”

  He didn’t answer aloud, just closed his eyes and smiled. Man, he’d been wanting this, dreaming about this with her, since… well, if he was honest, since the day they’d met. And yeah, it was as good as he thought it would be. Better even. They were having fun, sure, but it also felt like they were connecting on a deeper level too. Like this was more than just sensual fun. There was also the closeness, the trust, the emotion behind it too.

  Then, she slowly lowered herself down onto him, inch by delectable inch, until he was buried so deep inside of her he didn’t know where she stopped and he started. Colin didn’t think about much of anything then, except all the sensations running riot through his system. Intense pleasure, happiness, satisfaction, and an odd possessiveness and sense of protectiveness. Like Harper was his, and he’d do anything to keep her happy and make sure she was safe. She bent and kissed him, each of them swallowing the other’s moans of passion.

  “This,” she said against his lips. “This is what I’ve needed all night.”

  “You and me both, darlin’,” he whispered, gripping her hips and beginning a steady rhythm of thrusts which had them both on the brink of coming all too soon.

  He sat up and nuzzled her chest, saying into her skin, “Christ, you feel so incredible. So warm and tight and giving.”

  “You too,” she said near his ear, her hips rocking against him and her inner muscles squeezing tighter around him, making his breath catch in his throat. “So good. So incredible.”

  She bent to him again, and they kissed passionately as they each raced closer and closer to the edge. Soon, tension coiled tight at the base of his spine and his balls tightened. He was close, so close. Blood pounded through his veins as his climax built to a fevered pitch. Colin gripped her hips and his body tensed. Wanting to bring her with him, he reached between them to stroke her most sensitive flesh, and she came around him again, her head falling back and her eyes closing.

  Colin drove into her, once, twice, his body going whipcord tight on the third and final thrust.

  He buried his face in her neck and came hard inside her.

  11

  Afterward, as they lay together in the dark, a moment of awkwardness settled over them. Honestly, what had just happened here had been…well…wow.

  Not that Colin was some blushing virgin or anything like that. He’d been with plenty of women. But it had never been like this. Not even with Abby.

  A tiny dagger of guilt stabbed his chest. He’d loved Abby. He had. But between their odd, conflicting schedules and the constant stress of looming danger hanging over them, sometimes it was hard to concentrate on being together—he was so busy thinking about when she’d leave, or he’d leave, or how long it would be until they saw each other again. But tonight, with Harper, it was like he’d been fully present, fully in the moment, experiencing every touch, every sound, every taste, like it was larger than life. And sure, the whole “must keep quiet” vibe had made it inexplicably hotter, but he hadn’t expected it to also make the sex feel more intimate somehow. More important.

  He frowned, exhaling slow.

  The pain of guilt in his chest was slowly replaced by something else. Something more achy, more poignant, more subtle. And seriously, way scarier.

  Colin tossed back the covers and got up, padding across the room in his bare feet toward the bathroom. “Be right back.”

  Behind him in the shadows, he heard Harper give a little grunt of acknowledgement, then the rustle of covers as she snuggled down in bed. Colin used the facilities, took a quick shower, brushed his teeth, then tugged on a pair of lounge pants before sliding back into bed. Harper sleepily got up and took her turn in the bathroom as well, both of them acting like nothing had happened. Which, of course, made it even more awkward than if they’d just talked about the sex.

  When Harper finally got back into bed, she curled up on her side of the mattress, away from Colin, as usual, and he felt torn. It would be easy enough to stay where he was, treat this like a one off, go with the whole “nothing happened” vibe and get back to life as normal. Except damn if that ache in his chest didn’t intensify at that idea, making it harder to ignore. Just what was that ache? Not regret. Not by a long shot. Being with her had been amazing—he could never regret that.

  Yearning. That’s what it was. Yearning to pull Harper close and keep her in his arms all night, to feel her soft, warm skin against his and her breath on his neck.

  So, fuck it. He rolled to his side, facing her, and scooted closer. Then, as casually as possible, he draped an arm around her waist. For a second, she tensed beneath his touch, and Colin worried she’d tumble out of bed and run away. But then she relaxed back against him with a sigh, nestling into him, and it felt good. Felt right.

  They lay there like that for a while, not talking, until finally he couldn’t stand it anymore. Something about the dark, the quiet, made him feel secure enough to open up to her in a way he hadn’t done with anyone else in a long time. Maybe ever.

  “You know, after I lost Abby, I never thought I’d meet another woman who understood me so well, who cared about me, and also understood and cared about my family.” He snorted, ruffling her hair beneath his nose. “Hell, most of the time I don’t even understand my family. And they sure as hell don’t understand me.” Colin took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. “But I accepted that unfortunate reality a long time ago. Then you came along.” He kissed her head, tightening his hold on her just because it felt so damned good to have her here. “You’re making me question all of the years I’ve spent running away from this place. Making me think that maybe, now that I’m older, my family and I might be able to figure out a way to understand each other. You’re blurring my boundaries, changing what I thought was possible for my life.”

  For a long moment, nothing. And Colin feared he’d said too much. Then Harper snuggled closer to him, her voice soft in the shadows. “It goes both ways, you know. You’re changing things for me, too. I always used to be able to see how a relationship would go. I’d be able to see right from the start both exactly why a relationship was perfect for now, and also why it ultimately wouldn’t last.” She gave a sad chuckle. “You know me. Wandering soul. Always wants to move on. Or he’d want kids in the next two years and I definitely wasn’t ready for that. Or whatever.” Her hair tickled his chin as she shook her head, then she took a deep breath, her fingers warm on his forearm. “Anyway, you’re the first person who’s been different.”

  Colin frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “I can’t predict what’s going to happen with us.” There was an edge of fear mixed with wonder to her tone that had him pulling her closer, wanting to comfort her, reassure her that they were in this together. That it was as scary and unsettling and incredible for him as it was for her. “And it’s not just because we’re on a mission together. I think part of it is because I can’t put you into a neat little box, Colin. You keep surprising me.”

  “That’s good, right?”

  “I don’t know. Every time I think I know who you are, you show me something new—something I never could have expected.”

  Same.

  The ache in his chest grew warmer, fonder, deeper, and damn. He knew what it was.

  Not yearning any longer. He was falling in love with Harper Bell.

  And that terrified him most of all.

  Because he’d been there before. With Abby. Loving her so much that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, then she was gone. And while he didn’t have to worry about losing Harper to war or some other dangerous military operation, there were other obstacles to them building a future together.

  Shit. Just shit.

  He lowered his head, resting his forehead against the nape of her neck, closing his eyes. The smart thing to do would be to back away, distance himself, put up walls, but it was a little too late for that. So, instead, he tucked her as close as he could, her curves pressed to his solid muscle, choosing to trust his instincts for once.

  They could figure it out later. For now, he’d live in the moment. Like Harper did.

  The next morning, Colin was up early, feeling better than he had in a long time. He got ready, careful not to wake Harper, then went downstairs where he found his mom having coffee and overseeing breakfast.

  “Good morning,” she said when he walked in, looking bright and cheerful in her colorful silk caftan. “How’s my baby boy this morning?”

  Colin walked over and kissed her cheek, then grabbed a mug to pour himself some fresh, hot coffee. “Good, Mom. How are you?”

  “Excellent.” His mother grinned, stirring sugar into her coffee. She gave him a quick side glance. “And from the looks of you, I’d say you’re far better than good too.”

  He shrugged and stared down into his coffee, heat prickling his cheeks. His sex life wasn’t a topic he wanted to get into right now, even though, yeah. He felt pretty damned excellent too after last night.

  “I’m so happy for you, sweetheart,” his mom said. “It’s obvious how much you and Harper care for each other.”

  His chest constricted a bit, and he gulped more coffee to cover his hesitation. The last thing he wanted to do was blow their cover, but he could use some advice. So, he said cautiously, “You think so?” He shrugged. “I worry sometimes that I’m more invested in our relationship than she is. I mean, everything happened so fast with us. Which is fine. When it’s right, it’s right. I can wait for her to feel as sure as I do. But I also want her to know how I feel and that I can see a future with her.”

  “Hmm.” His mom sighed thoughtfully. “Well, only you will know when the time’s right to have that discussion. But I will say that it’s obvious to me that Harper loves you.”

  He took that in. Held it close. Turned it over in his head a million times as they sat quietly, drinking their coffee and watching the staff pull breakfast together before setting up the serving dishes on the back veranda. Gradually, the rest of the family trickled out to join them, and soon they were all seated around the table, making pleasant conversation and passing dishes back and forth. Everyone seemed in a good mood. Colin couldn’t help stealing glances at Harper, who chatted with his family like she belonged there, but avoided any direct discussion with him.

  By the time the meal was over and Harper had taken her coffee down to the hill toward the beach, he knew the time had come. Colin refilled his coffee mug, then headed down to join Harper.

  His nerves were on high alert and his throat felt tight with tension, but he also felt good about this. For years now, he hadn’t thought he’d ever be able to open up and fall in love again. But now that he had, he didn’t want to keep it to himself. And yeah, things were complicated. They always were. But he’d already lost one future with someone. He was not going to lose another just because he was scared of a few complications.

  “Want some company?” he asked, coming to the table where Harper sat.

  She lifted a shoulder, her gaze flicking from the horizon to him, then back again. He took that as a yes and sat down, about to tell her everything, when she said, “It was nice, watching your parents together at breakfast this morning.”

  Huh. Colin hadn’t even noticed them—too focused on Harper.

  “I mean, I get that your dad is far from perfect,” Harper continued, still not looking at him. “But I like to see two people so perfectly matched for each other. It’s almost enough to make me change my mind about not wanting to get married myself,” she said, finally looking his way. “Almost, but not quite.”

  “Why not?” He gripped his mug a bit tighter than necessary, dreading the answer.

  “I just don’t ever see myself getting married.” She exhaled slow. “I never want to feel pressured to stay in a relationship after it stops working.”

  “Oh.” Fuck. That threw him. He knew she hadn’t ever been all that serious with anyone before…but he’d assumed it was because of what she’d said last night—that those relationships had all had problems from the start that had meant they weren’t built to last. But there was a big difference between accepting that a relationship wasn’t meant to be long term and actually choosing to only have relationships with a built-in end date. And they were nowhere near the point yet where they’d talk about some kind of permanent commitment, but he had thought maybe they were heading there eventually. And that was what he wanted—what he’d always wanted. Somewhere real and serious and honest and true. For him, that meant marriage, or the possibility of it, down the line.

  Now his chest hurt for an entirely different reason. Disappointment swelled inside him like a sick balloon. He took a deep breath and sipped his coffee without tasting it, staring out at the water like she was while his mind raced. Could he change her mind? Or would he just hurt both of them by asking for something she wasn’t willing to offer? He didn’t know what the right choice was. He just knew that he didn’t want to give up on what they had. So for now, that would mean sticking it out, seeing where this would go. If it didn’t go where he wanted…he’d find a way to live with that. But that was a problem for some future version of him. For today, they were still together. He’d take what he could get and hope it would lead to something more.

  “What are you thinking about?” she asked eventually, after the silence had stretched too taut.

  He opened his mouth, then closed it. He’d been wrong. Now wasn’t the time for his big reveal. Best to keep his feelings to himself for now. So, Colin forced a smile instead. “I’m thinking it’s a gorgeous day and we should definitely plan to take advantage of it.”

  12

  The next day, it was time for their second meeting with Serenity at the resort. Harper and Colin were sitting in the lobby again, waiting and trying to look like just another vacationing couple in paradise. Except they’d been there for almost two hours already and Harper’s anxiety levels were skyrocketing. Harper tried to stay calm and positive, telling herself that any second now, Serenity would walk through the door. Maybe she’d even tell them that she’d gathered all the evidence that she needed, and that she was ready to walk away from the Wellness Center and leave it to the authorities to swoop in and take over. She tried so hard to believe that that was going to happen. Any second now. Any…second…now.

  But the minutes kept crawling by with no Serenity, no phone call, no message. Nothing. It was just like those frantic days back in Baltimore when Harper felt like her sister had vanished off the map. Except it was worse now, because she knew exactly where her sister was, and there was nothing she could do about it. No way she could protect Serenity from the danger she might be in right this very moment.

  “Aw, check out those adorable kids,” Colin said, hiking his chin toward a young couple across the way, their twins dressed in matching pink bathing suits. “I can’t wait to get married and have my own someday.”

  Seriously? That’s what he wanted to talk about now? Harper did her best to hide her eye roll. Gah! She knew he wasn’t saying he wanted them with her specifically, but it was just another reminder that Colin was a long-term, till-death-do-us-part kind of guy. And she was… well, not that kind of girl. She did want kids someday—but she was less sold on the idea of having them with a husband she was bound to for the rest of her life. A mother’s love lasted. Romantic love? Well, it never had before. And she couldn’t imagine anything worse than staying trapped in a relationship that wasn’t working, just because her partner wasn’t willing to admit when enough was enough.

  Her heart sank faster than an anchor. What the hell was she doing with him? She couldn’t give him the kind of relationship he ultimately wanted, and he wouldn’t be willing to settle for what she could offer. If they tried to keep things going long term, it would only end in disaster for them both. The smart choice would be to withdraw now, before they got too attached. Sleeping with him only made her feel closer and more connected with him when she should be working toward the opposite. But the thought of losing even a single day with him made her stomach twist. They wouldn’t have long together, and she wanted to make the most of it.