“Thank you for everything, Lons,” Kendrick says.

  “Son, it is we who are thanking you. We owe the future of Elora to you.”

  “We haven’t done anything yet. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

  Lons claps Kendrick on the back. “I have full faith in you.” He turns to me and gives a courteous nod. Am I imagining it, or are his eyes a little less bright than they were when we were introduced? “I’ll let you alone to your evening. We look forward to celebrating tomorrow.”

  We wander the streets for a while longer, Kendrick pointing out where they have school for the children and the grassy village square that will host the celebration tomorrow night. He doesn’t take my hand again, and I try not to think about it.

  I can’t tell how he feels about our kiss. It seems so long ago now, but I can’t stop thinking about it. Does he think it was a mistake? And if he does, does the reason have anything to do with the way Lons looked at our joined hands?

  I’m so tangled in my spinning thoughts that I barely notice the sun is setting until Remme says he’s going to the archives to check on Natan, and Kendrick says we should go back inside.

  Skylar excuses herself, and Kendrick walks me back up to my room, closing the door softly behind us.

  The space suddenly seems too big and too small all at once. It’s impossible to be this close and not want him closer, but I have no excuse to press my body into him the way I long to.

  I clear my throat and blurt out the first thought that comes to mind. “So, Natan and Remme? They’re . . . lovers?”

  Kendrick stiffens and glances over my shoulder, as if checking to make sure the door is closed. “Don’t say that.”

  I frown. “Because it’s a secret?”

  He steps closer. “You were young the last time you lived in Elora,” he says, his voice low, “but did you know any men who loved each other?”

  “No, though we didn’t really know many people at all. Brie and I were busy trying to make the payments on our contract.”

  He draws in a long, ragged breath. “A contract you signed when you were children? The contract that allowed your aunt to sell you to Mordeus?”

  I can’t hide my flinch at his name.

  “We’re going to make those contracts a thing of the past. That will be a day to celebrate.”

  “So, Remme and Natan?” I prod.

  “I ask you not to say it because if it becomes a habit, you might say it somewhere that could get them killed. The rulers of Elora do not allow men to love other men. It is a crime punishable by death.”

  My heart twists with the unnecessary cruelty of it. “That’s . . . It’s senseless. There are children starving, and they are busy persecuting people for who they love?”

  “One of the countless reasons it’s past time for change.”

  I think of the tenderness I witnessed in the forest. Why would anyone want to have less of that in the world? “I will help you, Kendrick. Whatever I have to do. I knew my life was hard at home, but I don’t think I understood the extent of . . . I didn’t know.”

  He’s quiet for a long time, and he spends the silence searching my face. “You couldn’t have.”

  “I can be trusted with a secret, but between you and me, I am sorry I can’t tease Remme just a little. Natan is way out of his league.”

  I see his laughter in the shaking of his chest more than I hear it. He takes another step closer, and I have to crane my neck to look up at him.

  “They are more than lovers,” he says. “They are a bonded pair.”

  “Elorans can’t bond.”

  “Can’t they?”

  “Well, they can bond to fae, but not to each other.”

  He lifts his hand to my face and sweeps his knuckles across my cheek. Everything in my chest feels like it turns inside out. “Keep an open mind. You’ve been made to think so little is possible because it keeps you weak. You’ll be amazed when you see just how much magic rumbles beneath the streets of Elora.”

  “Magic strong enough to make my ring,” I say softly.

  He scans my face. “You’re tired. There’s a handmaid coming around soon. She’ll draw you a bath and get you anything else you need, but I want you to relax tonight and tomorrow. You’re still recovering.”

  “And where will you be?” I won’t be so pathetic as to ask him to stay with me.

  “Right next door if you need me.”

  I study his face—those ice-blue eyes, and his strong jaw, his full lips. I want to curl up against his chest, want to trail my thumb along his jaw and over his rough stubble. “You haven’t kissed me again.”

  His gaze dips down to my mouth then my breasts, before sweeping back up. Straightening, he meets my eyes. “Jas, after I return to Elora, our lives will be complicated. You’re the shadow princess, and I—”

  I press my fingers to his lips and shake my head. “Don’t. I don’t want to be her. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Let’s not do that.”

  He gently pulls my hand away. “It matters. You deserve to know what I can and can’t offer before anything else happens between us.”

  “I’m not asking for anything.” Panic climbs up my throat. Before Kendrick was back in my life, the future was something I wanted to dodge because the days and hours stretched ahead of me like a prison of their own. Now I don’t want to talk about it because I’ve already ruined it.

  I don’t want to talk about it because the regret might destroy me. I can’t let myself waste the days I have left.

  “You should,” he says. “You should ask for everything because that’s what you deserve. I’m being selfish by even being here now. By standing this close. By looking at you. By wanting you. I’ve been selfish this whole time.”

  “Your future is in Elora. I know that.” I lift onto my toes and sweep my lips against his, too eager to touch him again, too desperate to feel the bloom of heat in my chest.

  I want to wash away the chill I used to relish, want to banish the ring’s numbness from my heart.

  His big hands rest on my hips, and I lean into every point where the soft curves of my body connect with the hard planes of his. He closes his eyes. “You’ll be the death of me.”

  My stomach shimmies, and I smile. “Time your kisses right, and I think you’ll be okay.” I shift against him, and he curses. I might not have any experience with men or this kind of physical connection, but I know enough to know he wants me—or at least his body does.

  He cups my jaw and skims his thumb over my bottom lip. “I’m trying so hard to behave myself, but it turns out my will is not as strong as I once believed.” He leans forward, mouth ghosting across mine. “Why can’t our fates align? Why did the Mother put you in my path if I’m going to have to let you go?”

  How do you know you have to let me go? But I don’t ask. He’s human, and he thinks I will be fae in a few short months. And what I will be instead . . . Well, perhaps that’s even worse.

  I don’t want to think about any of that, so I slide my hand into his hair and pull his mouth down to meet mine. When our lips touch, he sighs against me.

  In nine months’ time, he will be back in Elora, and I will be gone. I can pull my hair and gnash my teeth over the foolishness of my mistakes, or I can enjoy the final days we have together. I would have willed myself dead in Mordeus’s cell if Kendrick’s voice and stories and calming words hadn’t found me in the darkness.

  I only have this moment because of him, so I will revel in it with him.

  He trails his hand down my hip and along the outside of my thigh before grabbing my leg behind the knee, pulling it up to hook over his hip. At the first press of his body, I nearly melt, but he’s there, holding me up, his mouth exploring mine.

  His hand tangles in my hair, tugging my head to the side as he trails kisses down my neck. Shivers explode along my spine.

  Kendrick glances toward the door, then rests his forehead to mine. “Your handmaid will be here soon.” His fingers deftly fasten the top few buttons of my blouse.

  “When did those come undone?” I ask, watching his strong hands and wishing we hadn’t been interrupted.

  The corner of his mouth twitches up in a lopsided grin. “Let’s just say it’s a good thing I can’t stay.”

  “Hmm. We might have different definitions of good.”

  He groans. “Don’t tempt me, Princess. I’m already struggling with restraint when it comes to you.” He fastens the final button, then presses a hot, open-mouthed kiss to my clavicle just above his fingers. He sucks lightly before pulling away, and my whole body goes tight and hot, but then his mouth is gone and he’s backing toward the door. “Enjoy your bath. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Felicity

  HER FRIEND HAS MAGIC.

  Not like these wicked fae, and not like the mages back home in Elora. Crissa knows the words to murmur when the pain and the darkness and the panic are too much and Jasalyn can’t stop shaking. She knows how to make the panic stop, how to protect Jasalyn from her own thoughts.

  Her whispered incantations calm Jas. They bring sleep when the terror threatens to destroy her from the inside.

  But they leave her friend weak. Make her sleep for hours.

  Her friend says magic is life, says she knows how to channel her energy into healing, says it’s okay, she doesn’t mind, says she needs Jas to hold on.

  Can you do that for me? Can you hold on?

  Her friend says the sleeping is normal. She says it’s because she’s a human using fae magic. She says help is coming. She says Jas needs to have faith in the life waiting for her beyond their cell walls. She says Jas will get to go home soon.

  But her friend’s been sleeping for two days now, and Jas is afraid she won’t wake up.

  Another day without the Wild Fae king in residence, another day wondering what exactly I think I’m doing.

  I can’t deny it anymore. I have feelings. Big, complicated, inconvenient feelings.

  And to top it all off, the ball is tomorrow night and chatter around the castle is that dozens of the guests are eligible females who would be ideal as the new queen. As someone who’s expected to be in attendance and cannot be Misha’s queen for dozens of obvious and less obvious reasons, I’m dreading the spectacle of watching females throw themselves at him.

  I’m so desperate for some time alone with him before the big night that I find myself breaking early from my research and wandering the castle looking for a sign he’s returned from whatever important, kingly errand he’s been on today.

  I’m headed out to the training yard for the second time since lunch when I run into Tynan.

  “Still looking for the king?” he asks.

  My cheeks heat. “I’m not trying to bother you. I didn’t have anything better to do, so I thought I’d check out here.”

  I should return to my books, should get back to scouring the Wild Fae maps for remote mountain ranges where the portal could be. But instead, I’m chasing after a male I can’t have.

  Tynan smiles at me. “You miss him.”

  I drop my gaze to the floor, worried he can read too much there. “I wondered if he wanted to have dinner with me. It’s not a big deal.”

  “He was called out to another realm unexpectedly this morning.”

  My head snaps up. Another realm? “Where? Elora?”

  “The Wild Fae have close ties with Summerbend, it’s another faerie realm.” He cocks his head to the side. “I promise you, he’s perfectly safe there. He might be more respected in that realm than he is in his own.”

  “Did he go by goblin?”

  “No. Goblins travel between Faerie and Elora because the realms are so closely tied, but even they aren’t powerful enough to travel between here and Summerbend.”

  Which means he traveled through a portal.

  “Ah, and there he is now,” Tynan says. “See? I told you there was nothing to worry about.”

  “Who was worried?”

  I spin at the sound of Misha’s voice. Tynan was right. I did miss him, and I can’t deny the feeling of relief that falls over me at the sight of him. His olive skin looks darker this afternoon, like he spent his day out in the sun, and I can’t resist skimming my gaze over him, as if I need to make sure he came back unharmed. I find no wounds. Only his broad chest in his lightweight tunic and his muscular thighs visible through his fitted leather riding pants.

  “The princess wondered where you’d gone. When I told her you were in another realm, I think she was worried you were in Elora and might find trouble there.”

  “Is that true?” He steps closer, then seems to remember himself and stops in the middle of the corridor, tucking his hands into his pockets.

  Blushing, I meet his gaze. “You didn’t tell me you had to go away today.”

  Tynan clears his throat and steps back. “If you’ll excuse me, my king, I need to check on something in the stables.”

  Misha nods at Tynan before turning his attention back to me. “I was called out at the last minute. I didn’t realize you would be looking for me.”

  “Misha!” a young girl calls, rushing past me and into his arms. She looks to be eight or nine years old and has the same dark hair as Misha, though hers falls in long waves down to the middle of her back.

  He picks her up under her arms and spins her around, making her laugh. “I can’t believe you know who I am,” he says. “It’s been so long, I thought you would forget me.”

  “Never!” she says, laughing.

  He turns her toward me and smiles. “Lark, do you remember Princess Jasalyn from Abriella’s court?”

  “Hi, Lark.” I force my hands to relax at my sides. “It’s good to see you again.”

  Misha returns her to the ground, and she purses her lips and cocks her head to the side as if she’s trying to figure me out. “Soon you will take your true form.”

  My heart trips, and I glance to Misha.

  He meets my gaze with a haughty arch of a brow. “Less than nine months now. Sooner than ever.”

  Oh. I clear my throat. “My . . . You mean on my birthday?” I ask the little girl.

  “Lark is a seer,” Misha says, and I am a ball of panic, desperately searching for something to say that can keep her from talking, but all words evade me.

  Lark frowns. “No. Not in nine months. Much sooner.” She reaches for my hand, and it’s all I can do to keep myself from snatching it back. Her silver eyes go unfocused and a little distant. “Why are you so afraid? You know this isn’t who you really are. Why don’t you want—”

  “That’s enough.” Misha pulls her hand off mine. “I’m sorry.”

  She frowns up at her uncle. “You’ll break her heart,” she whispers. “Be gentle. She’s scared, and she wouldn’t do this if she had a choice.”

  Misha drops to his haunches and gives an indulgent smile to his niece. “I know she’s scared. That’s why I think you should be gentle about the way you’re delivering your information. Remember how we talked about this?” He looks up at me. “Lark’s gifts are complicated. She often sees things that don’t make sense.”

  She narrows her eyes at her uncle. “Mother says my gifts are among the most valuable in the entire realm.” She turns back to me. “You already know your destiny. Don’t fight it. You cannot keep everyone you love safe without sacrificing everything they deem sacred.”

  My eyes burn and I squeeze them shut. Is that what I’ve done by refusing to murder Erith the way the oracle showed me I would? Have I been trying to keep Hale safe at the cost of what he holds dear?

  Misha clears his throat. “That’s enough out of you,” he says, but his tone is gentle. “Now, go find your mother and tell her I’ll join you in a few minutes. We have a surprise planned for you in town tonight.”

  She grins. “Okay!” Her dress shoes click against the stone floors as she disappears down the hall.

  As he watches her go, I catch sight of something red in his hair.

  I step closer and pull it out. “What’s this?” It’s fluffy, almost like the head of a white dandelion, but it’s a vibrant red and not nearly as delicate as it appears. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  Misha drags a hand through his hair, ruffling it. “The hiluca tree likes to leave its autumn blossoms on anyone who passes.”

  “Hiluca tree? I’ve never heard of such a thing.” I let the blossom roll in my palm. It’s almost sticky.

  “That’s because it’s unique to my territory. There are no hilucas in the other courts, which is why my ancestors declared it our land’s sacred tree.”

  “Why have I never seen one?”

  “They only grow in the northern mountains, where the wild horses roam.” His smile is tender. “I should take you to see them before winter comes. They are breathtaking this time of year. Especially at sunset.”

  “I would love that.”

  He takes the blossom from my hand and tucks it behind my ear. “It suits you,” he says, stepping back, as if he can’t trust himself to stand so close. “I’ve promised to spend the evening in the village with my sister and niece, but if you need anything or were looking for company at dinner, I’m sure Tynan can help you.”

  I bow my head to hide any hurt I feel at not being invited.

  With two fingers beneath my chin, Misha tilts my face up until I meet his eyes. “Unless you want to come with us?”

  It’s better this way. Pretha knows Jasalyn better than Misha does and spending too much time with her is inviting trouble. “No. Thank you,” I say. “You should catch up with your family without me.”

  He drops his hand with a curt nod, then turns to the stairwell door.

  “Misha?” I call when he reaches for the knob. He stops and turns back to me. Regret is a sharp knife in my lungs. I wanted to do this myself, to find the portal myself so he might hate me a little less when this is all over, but if he takes me to the trees he walked among today, I’ll know where to find the portal. I can’t pass up this opportunity. “I would truly like to see the hilucas. I hope you’ll find the time to take me.”

  He searches my face for so long I wonder if he can see the traitor beneath this skin. “Perhaps after the ball.”