I glance around the mostly empty library. “I was, yes,” I whisper. “And I don’t know anything about his wife. The only reason I found out is because I picked up his phone and saw a message.” Tears gather in my eyes. “They had kids. Those poor kids.”

  “She doesn’t need your pity,” she tells me. “She needs to be rid of that husband of hers. Does she know?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know. He hurt me that night, really bad, and the police are looking for him.”

  “What the heck? He ran away like a coward?”

  I lower my eyes to my cup of tea. “He never told me his real name. He lied about that too. Or at least his last name is a lie.”

  “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry this has happened to you.”

  Tears gather in my eyes. “I just feel like a fool.”

  “Be glad you aren’t the wife.”

  “I know. She has it worse than me. I just keep thinking I’m the reason they might have broken up. Or maybe she doesn’t know. I have no clue. The police are still looking for him.”

  “Did he hurt you before then?”

  “He didn’t just hurt me,” I admit, feeling ashamed. But after my night with Drew, I have come to terms with the fact that what he did was wrong. Whether or not I said yes from the start, that I was the one who suggested it, I still said no. My night with Drew opened my eyes. Whenever I asked him to slow down, he did. If I asked him to go faster, he did. Not once during our time together did I ever think he’d take advantage or carry on if I wasn’t comfortable. I can’t say I would have felt the same if it had been someone else, and it kind of scares me to wonder what that means.

  “What did he do?”

  “I asked him to stop, and he didn’t,” I tell her, before straightening in my seat. “It’s not something I feel comfortable talking about. I’m still conflicted over the whole thing. On one hand, I know what he did is sexual assault, yet on the other, I feel like I asked for it.”

  “Did you?” she asks, and my mouth gapes open. She reaches forward, taking my hand. “That came out wrong. I just meant, was you the one who instigated it?”

  I nod. “Yes.”

  “Oh, honey.”

  I can’t meet her gaze. “It’s fine. I don’t want to think about it. Hopefully the police will figure out who he is.”

  “Or his wife. I can’t believe she didn’t have any clue that her husband was cheating. I mean, could you be any dumber?”

  I know her dig is at the wife and she’s trying to be friendly and supportive, but I feel the dig in my soul, as I too didn’t have a clue. I didn’t pick up on the red flags, and not just about him being married but all the others. He had a way of putting me down but praising me in the same sentence. Mum said he was gaslighting me, which is how he manipulated me into sex. I have a lot to come to terms with but that… I’m not quite ready to go there.

  Seeing Madison racing toward me, I’m glad for the interruption. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

  Out of breath, she takes the seat next to me, barely taking notice of Rose. “I’ve been to or called every florist in this area, even ones further out. Not one has sold those flowers in the past forty days, either that or they are refusing to give me the information we need. But we both know Uncle Liam will get that information eventually.”

  “What does that mean if it’s not one of them?”

  “That this person lives further away or is really good at hiding their tracks.”

  “What’s going on?” Rose asks.

  It’s Madison who answers. “Some creep is sending her flowers with creepy-arse poems and we’re trying to figure out who.”

  “I bet it’s your ex,” Rose replies, her eyes wide. “What a dickhead.”

  “I don’t know. It doesn’t scream male to me. I reckon it’s someone else.”

  “Who?”

  Madison shrugs. “Fuck knows, but I’m making it my mission to find out.”

  “Yo, Charlotte,” Gabby yells.

  Madison turns, her mouth gaping open. “Holy hotness.”

  I chuckle at her bluntness. “You’ve not met Gabby, Harriet, Olivia or Emily before, have you?”

  “Not yet but I’ve heard so much about them,” she replies.

  “We have news,” Harriet announces when she reaches us.

  “Big news,” Emily adds, her expression animated.

  “Dude, you’ve had sex,” Gabby blurts out before turning to Madison. “And you’re hot.”

  “Thank you,” Madison answers, before she snaps her attention to me as my cheeks redden.

  “No, I haven’t,” I deny.

  “Oh my God, you’re lying,” Madison blurts out. “What the fuck?”

  “I haven’t,” I lie once more, my hands fidgeting under the table.

  Gabby snorts, taking a seat next to Rose. “I can smell it on you.”

  I sniff my shoulder, smelling nothing but my Jimmy Choo perfume.

  “You have that look about you,” Olivia comments.

  Madison reaches for my hand, clasping it in hers under the table. “Charlotte, why didn’t you tell me? Are you sure that was a good idea after…”

  A lone tear trickles down my cheek. “It was everything I ever wanted it to be,” I whisper.

  “Please tell me it was dirty,” Emily declares, wiggling her eyebrows.

  I chuckle, but don’t pull my attention away from Madison. “Please understand and don’t think I’m bad or a slut.” I close my eyes and take a moment before continuing. “I needed to know it wasn’t always going to be like that night. It felt right.”

  “I’d never slut shame you at all. I just worry about you. I love you, Charlotte, and I say this as respectfully and with as much love as I can; but you let people walk all over you. You’re too nice for your own good and I don’t want to see that happen again.”

  “We’ll skin him alive if anyone tries,” Harriet promises her.

  Madison smiles. “Thank you. I’m glad she has good friends.”

  “And family,” I add, giving her a pointed look.

  “I’m Madison, her cousin.”

  “Oh, another family member,” Gabby declares excitedly, before running off introductions.

  Once done, Madison turns to me, exhaling heavily. “It was special?”

  I smile, seeing the resolve in her eyes. “It was the best night of my life.”

  She screams suddenly, her hands and arms flapping around. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.”

  “What?” I ask, chuckling at her antics.

  “Oh my God,” she groans, her expression filled with horror.

  “What?” I demand.

  “You had sex with the giant and Landon is going to kill him.”

  “The giant?” Emily asks, leaning forward.

  “Holy fuck, the giant,” Harriet yells.

  “Way to go, Charlotte.”

  “Not helping,” I groan.

  “Who’s the giant?” Rose asks.

  “The hottest guy you’ll ever meet. I would turn straight just to ride his pony,” Gabby answers, grinning like a cat who got the cream.

  “Madison, you can’t tell anyone. No one, I mean it.”

  “You tell your mum everything,” she reminds me.

  I glance down at our joined hands. “And I’ll tell her about this. I want to share how good it was and tell her she was right about everything, and that I should have waited longer. I should have waited for Drew. I’m worried she’ll be disappointed in me again.”

  “Charlie, it’s not about waiting. He should never have done that to you,” she tells me, her voice soft. “And your mum could never be disappointed in you. She’ll be happy for you.”

  “I hope so.”

  “When are you next seeing him?” she asks as everyone sits down to listen.

  “Thursday.”

  She grins. “Where’s he taking you?”

  My brows pull together. “The gym.”

  “The gym? What a fucking cheapskate. He couldn’t take you out for dinner?”

  I giggle at her anger. “It’s not a date.”

  “Then when is he taking you out on a date?”

  “It’s not like that,” I tell her, not meeting her gaze. “I don’t know what’s going on, and before you begin to rant, he never made any promises. I didn’t go into it expecting them either. Am I embarrassed I waited to lose my virginity and ended up being with the wrong person, and then in a space of a month and a bit, ended up sleeping with another man so quickly?” I take a lungful of air. “Yes. Am I ashamed? No. Because it meant a lot to me, Madison. If this Scott business has taught me anything, it’s that love can sometimes come easy, but having someone who meets your needs and wants, who respects you— it’s rare. He was nothing but a gentleman.”

  She leans forward, pulling me in for a hug. “That’s all I care about, but if he hurts you, tall or not, I’ll kill him.”

  “Always so blood thirsty,” I tease.

  “You know it,” she fires back, before glancing down at her watch. “I need to go back to work, but this conversation isn’t over. I want all the details.”

  “Can we be there?” Gabby sulks. “I’d like to hear this too.”

  “You can tell me why you are here,” I warn her, before kissing Madison on the cheek. “I’ll call you later.”

  “I’ll message you once I’ve spoken to Uncle Liam.”

  “Okay, and thank you for the help and not telling the others.”

  She gets up, her expression wary. “But you do know you need to tell them. Not all of it, not about you know who— you’re a grown woman, after all— but the rest… You know what they’re like when we keep things from them.”

  “I know and I will. I’d just really like to speak to Mum first. She’s popping round later.”

  “It was nice to meet you all,” she tells them after giving me a nod.

  Once she leaves, I turn to the girls. “What’s this big news?”

  “Our friend, Amber, who used to work with us, got in touch after we put feelers out about Scott.”

  I sit up, my gut clenching. “What did she say?”

  “She knew him and it was bad. We said we’d wait to hear the rest with you if she was okay with it. We weren’t sure if you had questions,” Harriet admits.

  “I do. A lot,” I reply. “Does she know where he is?”

  Harriet glances away, grimacing. “No, it was the first thing we asked but she said she might know who does.”

  “Who would that be?”

  “His wife,” she answers.

  I slump back in the chair and bite my lip. “What if she doesn’t know? How do you tell a woman her husband cheated and assaulted another woman?”

  “Why should her feelings be worth more than yours? Your cousin is right, you are too nice for your own good. You aren’t going there to brag to her but rather going there as another woman wanting justice for what was done to you,” Olivia comments.

  “When does she want to meet us?” I ask, not expanding on her comment. I can’t. I might be gullible, naive, but I’d never let the wrong actions of others dictate who I am. I’ll always be kind and give people the benefit of the doubt. If everyone was distrusting, or uncaring, there would be a lot of suffering in the world.

  “She has Wednesday off. She has an optician’s appointment in the morning but can meet us midday if you’re free?”

  “I’ll make myself free,” I assure her. “Did she say anything else?”

  “Just that things happened that had her leaving her job and going elsewhere. She lives in Lindal now.”

  “Oh my gosh,” I whisper, hoping it’s not as bad as I’m imagining. “Are you sure it’s Scott?”

  Harriet nods. “Yes. Same name, same MO, and thinking on it after we spoke with her, you kind of look the same too.”

  “Are you going to come?” Gabby asks. “We can make a road trip out of it.”

  “You guys have done enough already. You don’t need to take time away from home for me.”

  “We want to be there,” Emily assures me. “We want this bastard caught. What he did is sick and morally wrong.”

  “Thank you,” I tell them, giving them a watery smile.

  Rose places her hands on the table. “Now you can tell us about this new guy. What’s he like?”

  I roll my eyes, and give them a run-down of that night, keeping most things private.

  They don’t get to know everything. Some things are meant to remain between Drew and I.

  By the time I’m done, Gabby stands. “I have to go. I’ve got a date with my clit stimulator.”

  Harriet bursts out laughing before turning to me. “We do need to go but, Charlotte, I’m seriously fucking happy for you.”

  “It’s my cue to leave too,” Rose announces, also smiling. “But the girls are right. You deserve your happy ever after.”

  “See you Wednesday,” Olivia tells me.

  As Emily picks her things up, she looks at me. “You doing anything else this afternoon?”

  “I’m actually leaving soon. I’m in the mood to make cupcakes.”

  She busies herself searching through her bag, looking awfully hard for something. “Did you lose something?”

  “Just my keys,” she squeaks, before straightening. “Well, thank you for a great chat.”

  I smile. “Thank you for visiting.”

  “See you soon,” Rose tells me.

  “See you,” I reply, then give the rest of the girls a hug before following them to the front. Once they leave, I turn to Marlene. “If you need me, call me.”

  With that, I grab my stuff out of the office and head home. I have cupcakes to bake, and I need to rehearse what I’m going to say to Mum that doesn’t make me sound like a slut.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHARLOTTE

  Stepping back from the counter, I take in all the yummy goodness covering my worktops. Enveloped in an aura of freshly baked scones, I’m in heaven. Yet, after years of experience, I know they won’t taste as good as they look. Even the cupcakes are teasing me. They’re made with happiness, that is all that matters. In fact, I don’t even remember baking them for the first time in my life. My thoughts were too consumed with Drew, and once I snapped to the present, they were ready to go in the oven. That has never happened to me before. Normally I’m so into my own head, I pick and calculate every detail going into what I’m baking. By the end of it, my muscles are knotted, but right now, I feel relaxed, free.

  Katnip swats at my ankle and I bend down, picking her up before hugging her to my chest. “Who’s a good kitty.”

  Hiss.

  “But you are so beautiful. Why do you continue to be so grumpy?”

  Hiss.

  I sigh, heading over to her bowl. “It’s okay. One day, Katnip. One day.”

  The doorbell rings and a broad smile crosses my face.

  Mum.

  I’m dreading the conversation we need to have but Madison was right earlier. I do tell her everything. She’s my best friend, my confidant. And she always knows what to say whether I want to hear it or not. And I miss her.

  Gently lowering Katnip to the floor, I leave her to feast on her food as I head to the door.

  Unlocking it, I pull it open. “Mum, you had a good day?”

  “I have. Did you?” she asks, pulling off her coat.

  “It’s, um, been eventful.”

  “Sounds ominous,” she mutters as she follows me into the kitchen. “I can’t stay long tonight. I’d like to get back to your father.”

  I turn back to her after flicking the kettle on. My dad has a big heart, but his job as a social worker takes its toll on him. Some days are better than others. “Did he have another bad case?”

  She nods as she goes to make a fuss of Katnip, but thinks better of it when she hisses out, going to swat her. “Yeah. He can’t go into detail but it’s bad. It’s getting to him.”

  “Mum, go home. You don’t need to be here. Dad needs you.”

  She forces a smile and I know it’s for my benefit. “I want to speak to my girl without the men in our lives interrupting us.”

  I hand her a cup of tea before taking a seat next to her. “I’ve missed you too.”

  “If you ever want to come home, you and Katnip are welcome.”

  “Dad put her in a cupboard.”

  “That was your uncle Max,” Mum amends, watching me closely. “Something’s different with you.”

  I blush, ducking my head. “I—”

  “And you baked,” she states, utterly surprised.

  I hadn’t told her about the cake I baked Drew. She knew why I had stopped baking. I had shared that knowledge with her. But I baked Drew’s without really thinking about it. It was a knee-jerk reaction from years of baking for people. Once I tried to bake after, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And just like before Drew’s cake, I didn’t find joy in it anymore. My mind reverted back to Scott’s cruel words about how disgusting they were and it was like he was standing right next to me, judging me. So, I stopped baking.

  “Yeah,” I reply, glancing down.

  She grabs my hand, squeezing. “I’m glad. I was beginning to worry. I know how much you love doing it. But that’s not what’s different. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

  “Are you ashamed of me?” I blurt out.

  Her eyebrows shoot up and her eyes widen. “What? No, never. What has brought that on?”

  I play with the handle of my mug. “Because I feel like I’ve let you down. No, I know I have and all this must be bringing up bad memories for you.”

  “God, Charlotte, no. Not at all. You’re my daughter and I love you. You are all that concerns me. What happened was not your fault.”

  “Mum,” I whisper, her distraught expression tearing at my heart.

  She wipes away a tear, clearing her throat. “I should have protected you better.”

  “Mum,” I plead, but she isn’t listening, pulled under by her own nightmare.

  “I shielded you from the world, kept the dangers and all the bad things away from you. Because I wanted you to be a child. I didn’t want you to be scared about the simple things in life. But I was wrong. I should have given you the chance to experience life differently.”