While Keary sat rocking his son, Zacari watched him. She fell asleep over and over, but forced herself to wake up. The sight of them together was more than she’d ever dreamed. How mean she’d been to Keary over the last few months when he’d been nothing but good to her. He had been patient and kind. Countless times, he’d run out at a moment’s notice to get her whatever she craved.

  “You deserve so much more,” she told him in a voice thickened by sleep.

  He glanced up. “Hm? What do you mean?”

  “You deserve more than me. I know you’ve been by me for JR, but you should have someone that you love in your life. I have no doubt whoever she is, she’ll love you. That’s not even an issue.”

  A myriad of emotions flickered over Keary’s face, including confusion, and then understanding dawned. He stood up. A nurse walked into the room before he could say anything. “I need to take him for tests if that’s okay, Mommy and Daddy?”

  Keary hesitated and then placed the baby in the basinet the hospital had supplied. He looked like he might follow them out, but then he turned back to Zacari. All emotion left his face, and although he seemed pleasant enough, she had the feeling he was angry. “So you’re saying we’re done. You don’t need me anymore? He is my son too, Zacari, or had you forgotten?”

  “Oh come on, Keary.” She sighed and pulled to sit up. From the waist down, she was still numb. Her thighs felt like someone had tossed a heated blanket over them. “You know I haven’t forgotten. Neither am I trying to insinuate that I don’t want you in JR’s life.”

  “Have we decided on calling him JR?”

  “It’s weird to call you both Keary without some kind of variation.”

  “Agreed.”

  “Anyway,” she continued, “I’m just saying I see what you did for me, and I’m thankful, but you don’t have to do anymore. Now you can concentrate on the baby and leave me out of it. I don’t want to stand in the way of your happiness.”

  “Come off of it, Zacari,” he snapped.

  She gasped at his tone. She’d never seen him like this, even when he claimed he was grumpy when he hadn’t had his morning coffee. She’d never seen evidence of that.

  “We both know you are still insecure about your past. I’ve worked my ass off to show you how special you are, but none of it makes any difference.” He ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his bloodshot eyes. “We’ve been up for more than twelve hours after only sleeping about three. This isn’t the time to have this conversation. Neither of us is in the best mental state.”

  Too late, he had pissed her off. “I’m insecure? Pardon me for not falling at your feet because you spent a little money on me and our son. Excuse me for not kissing your toes when you tell me we should get married without any love!” Something flashed in his eyes, but she kept ranting. “You’re right, I am insecure. Why should I think that all of a sudden because I got pregnant when I didn’t mean to, some rich, sexy man is going to hand over my happily-ever-after. I live in reality. You love JR. I see that, and no one’s going to take that away from you, so you can back off of me!”

  They both stood there staring at each other, breathing hard in their anger. Keary’s eyes were narrowed, his jaw tightened, and his hands bunched into fists in his pockets. He didn’t move one muscle for a long time. Finally, he spoke in a low, calm voice, so low, she at first didn’t think she heard right.

  “You don’t have to worry about me anymore, Zacari. I’m sick and tired of trying to get past your defenses. I will see you in court for joint custody.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Keary tapped on his steering wheel as he glanced up at Zacari’s apartment building. This tenuous truce they had was not working for him. Every time he walked into her place, all he wanted to do was take Zacari into his arms and prove to her that he loved her. Yeah, he’d come to that solid conclusion after he’d made his bold statement that he would see her in court. One night spent away from Zacari told him he needed her. No, that he loved her, and visiting would not work long term for him.

  Of course in his anger, he had mentioned the situation to Jack, which only complicated matters. Now, Zacari thought he had already filed papers in court since his lawyer had been in contact with her to find out the name of Zacari’s lawyer. On top of that, the man had overstepped his bounds and mentioned a paternity test to Zacari. Keary had fired him, but he hadn’t gotten a chance to speak to Zacari to clear matters yet.

  Now was that time. He sighed and slipped out of his car. How the hell the situation turned this ugly, he didn’t know. When the doorbell resounded through her apartment, he wished he could take it back and just go home. Too late, he heard her coming to answer.

  The door opened, and Keary felt a punch in his stomach. Zacari had been crying. Without thinking, he raised his hand to cup her cheek. “Baby.” He lowered his head to kiss her but caught himself and drew back. She’d been willing a moment before but then averted her gaze.

  “I’m not the one, Keary. You can come in so we can talk, but please keep your hands to yourself.”

  Keary heard the sadness. He wracked his mind to figure out a way to fix the situation. “Zacari, what my lawyer said to you was wrong. He jumped ahead of me.”

  “Ahead of you,” she repeated. “Meaning you were planning to demand a paternity test, but you didn’t mean for him to say anything just yet.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant. Look can we not argue?” She turned and flounced away a few steps. He caught her arm and spun her to face him. She struggled, but he forced her to stand still and listen to him. “I’m not filing for custody, and I’m not asking for a paternity test.”

  She went still, eyes wide. “What did you say?”

  “You heard me.” He led her over to the couch and pulled her down beside him.

  Zacari fiddled with her hands not meeting his gaze. “I was talking with Claudia, and she said Jack had—”

  “Stop.”

  She blinked up at him.

  “I’m not interested in what my mom or Jack said. I made the mistake of mentioning our argument to him, and he had his own opinions about what I should and shouldn’t do. I told him then that this was not his business. You and I will decide what’s best for JR, no one else. So, I get it, you don’t want to marry me. That’s fine.”

  “I—”

  He put a finger over her lips. “We will work this out as two civilized adults, two parents who love their son very much and will fight hard to be sure he has all he needs from both of us.”

  What Keary hated most of all about this situation was coming to the realization that Zacari didn’t love him and probably never would. He could show her all the kindness in the world, but she would see it as an extension of his love for JR, nothing more. He’d accepted it, but it didn’t change how he felt about her or how hard life would be seeing her every day and not being able to hold her.

  “Do we have a deal?” he asked when she said nothing.

  “Yes, we do.”

  He forced a smile while turning away from her. “Now, how about a break? I want to see my son.”

  For the rest of the afternoon, they sat talking about JR. Keary found plenty of times they could have had a disagreement, like Zacari wanting to rush back to work after her six week checkup and him not wanting her to work at all. But he knew she was independent, and it had taken a lot for her to allow him and his family to purchase the things they did for the baby. He’d gotten her to agree to most of it by saying didn’t he have a right to care for his son the way he knew how? Zacari had backed down, and now she never protested when he bought a new item for the baby.

  He rocked his son in the crook of his arm, pride swelling his chest that he had been a part of creating him. One day, he would teach JR to play ball, and he would advise him about girls. Keary bit off a bitter laugh. Well, hopefully by that time he’d get them himself.

  “I respect your decision,” he told Zacari. “And can I request that you make it at least another month?” Relief flooded him at seeing the weary sadness ease around her eyes, but unless he was mistaken, something still bothered her.

  She moved over to the couch where he sat and let the baby grasp her fingers. Desire crept through Keary’s system when her breast bumped against his arm. He should not be feeling this while holding his son, but he hadn’t been with Zacari in a while, and he craved her. Last night using his hand hadn’t eased the need one bit. His mind had been consumed with thoughts of Zacari. Should he try to seduce her? They could be lovers and nothing more. Their passion had been real.

  No, she should have the right to feel what she wanted to and make decisions with a clear head. If she didn’t want to be with him as his wife, he needed to accept it.

  “Okay, one more month. I can stay home as long as Jeb is okay with it,” she said.

  “I’m sure he’ll be fine with it.”

  She smirked. “Meaning you’re going to tell him he’s fine with it.”

  When the baby began to fuss, he handed him to Zacari. Keary watched in fascination as she undid her blouse, lowered a bra flap over her breast, and began to feed him. Ashamed that he was jealous of his own son, he looked away, but he felt Zacari’s eyes on him. She could have moved her thigh when it brushed his, but she didn’t. The woman had to know how she tormented him.

  “I am not abusing my position,” he told her for something to distract him from her body. “Company policy allows for extra maternity leave for mothers.”

  “Oh.”

  When she finished feeding the baby, she handed him back to Keary. He tossed a cloth diaper over his shoulder and rested his son against him before patting his back. When that task was done, from habit, Keary checked his son’s diaper and then straightened his clothes.

  “You’re a good daddy,” she said, laughing softly.

  “That comes as a surprise?”

  She shook her head. “No, I knew you would be.”

  Her words took him by surprise. “How did you know?”

  “Because you’re a good man, so gentle and patient.”

  Then why couldn’t I make you fall in love with me?

  Her gaze dropped to her fingers which were clutched together in her lap. “I was thinking that you might want to go with me to his doctor’s appointment tomorrow. And then maybe we could have lunch together.”

  Keary was shocked into silence. She wanted him with her? She’d not mentioned it before. Of course she knew he wanted to spend every free minute being involved in his son’s upbringing but to invite him to dinner was an extra step. Keary searched Zacari’s face for a clue as to how she felt, but he could gather nothing. Before their big fight, she’d been open and easy to read, at least most of the time.

  “Well?” she prodded. “If you don’t want to, I understand.”

  “No, I do,” he hurried to say. “I just wasn’t expecting the invite. A minute ago, we were at each other’s throats. Granted much of it was misunderstanding and frustration on my part. I apologize for upsetting you, Zacari. That’s the last thing I want.”

  So she wouldn’t feel he was pushing again for something she wasn’t willing for or comfortable with, he added, “I just want us to be friends and share in raising JR. I know we can do that without any outside interference. We did okay while you were pregnant.”

  A flicker of disappointment crossed Zacari’s face confusing him again, but then she schooled her features into the sweet smile he loved. “You’re right. We’re going to be the best parents any child has ever had. Especially with you reading a library of parent help books.”

  She burst out laughing, and he joined her. “Hey, don’t knock the reading. It will come in handy one day. I promise you.”

  “Whatever, Dr. Spock.” She stood up, and he followed her to JR’s room. Keary wasn’t fooled by Zacari’s digs at his reading. The fact that she knew Dr. Spock was probably the most well-known pediatrician in the world said she’d looked into the subject herself.

  At his son’s crib, Keary laid the baby down, and Zacari tucked him under a light blanket. Keary straightened and glanced around the room while Zacari wound up the mobile. They’d done the deco in the room together having picked out what they liked from a home décor magazine. Of course, that had been the easy part. The hard part was getting Zacari to agree to move to a two bedroom apartment and allowing him to pick up the extra cost in rent. It turned out that she loved the place, so the battle was well-won.

  “What will you do with the rest of your day?” he asked.

  She shrugged. “Nothing planned. I’m always so sleepy. I feel like I haven’t had a full night’s rest in years.”

  “If you like, I can come by later and watch JR while you get some extra sleep.”

  He thought she’d refuse, but her face brightened, and she rested a hand on his arm. “Really? You’d do that?” He nodded. “Thanks, and I’m going to cook you something good, so don’t eat before you come.”

  Desire wound through him at her touch. He took a step closer but then realized it and backed off. “Thank you. You don’t have to.”

  “I want to. Eight. Be on time,” she teased, “or it will get cold.”

  “Then I’ll be here. I look forward to it.”

  Keary left soon after and sat in his car for a few minutes just as he’d done when he arrived. That had been close. Her touching him made him want to scoop her into his arms and claim her lips in a kiss. He looked down to find his cock hardened, tenting his pants. She was in no mood to have sex, and he shouldn’t even be thinking about it. Ashamed of himself, he adjusted his erection and turned over the car engine. After throwing the stick into drive, he peeled from the curb. At least he could look forward to later. He’d soak up every minute in her presence and let it be enough.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Zacari flipped through her cookbook and chewed on her bottom lip. She’d made her decision when Keary told her he would not be going to court or ordering a paternity test. This man was wonderful. He’d taken care of her far above and beyond what any father needed to in order to be a part of his child’s life. She had to admit to herself that he cared—maybe loved, maybe not, but Keary did care about her. Fears and doubts still swirled in her mind and heart, but damn it, she was going to beat them down and win him over.

  That afternoon, Keary had looked like he could eat her up the way he stared at her. And she had not missed how hard he got when he stood too close to her. He’d been about to kiss her. She wanted it because she loved and missed him, but her body wasn’t quite ready for sex. Either way, Keary was the one, and she planned to do all in her power to show him that he hadn’t been wrong in pursuing her. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late.

  “No,” she muttered as she flipped pages, “it’s not too late.” She’d start with the meal tonight and work from there. Keary had been sweet and attentive. Now it was her turn to care for him and show him how much she appreciated and loved him.

  She decided on steak tips in mushroom sauce, a side salad, and baked potato. For desert, she would make Keary’s favorite, lemon meringue pie. She didn’t prefer lemon flavor, but this was all about him. He’d be thrilled and stuffed to the gills if she could help it.

  Between a couple naps and working at a reasonable pace, she got the meal together. The pie cooled in the refrigerator, and the food sat ready on the dining room table. Zacari had bathed and fed her son, and now all she needed was Keary. Just when she thought that, the bell rang. Her heart skipped a beat. Butterflies tormented her belly. One would think this was a first date and that they hadn’t gone through thick and thin over the last few months. From that morning when she’d seen him until now, she’d chewed off her already short fingernails.

  As she walked to the door, she scanned her figure and approved of the dress. Breastfeeding, watching what she ate, and light exercise had taken her stomach way down. Another twenty pounds and she’d be where she was pre-pregnancy. Okay, so she had a few stretch marks, but so did most women who’d been overweight or had a baby. Her breasts were heavier, and Keary seemed to like that. Her hips still curved nice, and despite the thicker thighs, her legs looked okay.

  She opened the door. Keary’s eyes widened. His attention strayed from her face, to her breasts, and then on down her body. “You’re so beautiful.” Reticence came over his expression as if he wanted to bite his tongue for admitting it. Zacari pretended it wasn’t a big deal.

  “Thanks. Come on in. The food’s all ready, and you can eat whenever you like.”

  He followed her to the dining room. “Zacari, this is too much. You’re supposed to be using this time to rest, not wear yourself out.”

  “Are you complaining about my food before you taste it?” She affected a pout, and he rushed to apologize.

  Zacari suppressed a laugh and began dishing out food for him. She poured him a glass of red wine and herself a glass of water. A little later, she would have some caffeine free tea just to settle down before getting some rest.

  “I made your favorite,” she announced. “Lemon meringue pie.”

  Keary’s fork paused half way to his mouth. “How did you know that?”

  She laughed and tucked into her own small plate of food. “Claudia told me a while ago. She said she makes a habit of cooking all your favorites when you return from traveling out of the country for extended periods of time. I haven’t been anywhere other than the Bahamas once when I was little, so I was kind of shocked when she said some places don’t even have a decent hamburger.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, you know we have a non-profit division. I don’t get involved with that part often, but sometimes I’m required to settle matters in a third world country. When that happens, the food isn’t always…well…not up to our usual standards.”