“Yeah, you’re right, and he tried to warn me. He said there were things about him that might make me change my mind, but I sort of blew it off because I didn’t want to ruin such a good thing.”

  “He’s a great guy. We can all see that. You’re going to have to take this a day at a time and see if it’s more than you can handle. Only you can decide that.”

  “Thanks for listening.”

  “Oh my God, Iz. I owe you a thousand hours of listening for all the times you’ve been there for me.”

  “I love being there for you. Always have.”

  “Same goes, sister. I’m here. Call me if I can help.”

  “You already have. Your guy is waiting for you. Go have a nice evening.”

  “I have a guy! And I found him in Butler, of all places. Can you believe it?”

  “I believe it. He’s a lucky man, and I’m sure he knows it.”

  “I think he’s the one.”

  Izzy’s eyes filled with tears. “Aw, Ness.”

  “Yeah, and you know me. I don’t say stuff like that.”

  “No, you don’t. I’m so happy for you.”

  “I’m pretty happy for me, too, even if I’m sending myself all sorts of messages to slow my roll and all that. I’m caught up. Can’t seem to help it.”

  “As you’re well aware of all the potential pitfalls, you don’t need me to tell you to be careful.”

  “That’s the thing. With him, I don’t feel the need to be careful. Everything about this is different.”

  Izzy could hear the difference in her sister’s voice. “How’s the anxiety been?”

  “What anxiety?”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, it hasn’t been an issue the last few days, which is miraculous in and of itself, as you surely know. I just feel… calm.”

  Izzy wanted to weep hearing that. Vanessa’s debilitating anxiety had been a cause for major concern for their entire family at various times in her life.

  “That’s not to say it’s gone or anything, because that’s not how it works, but it’s leaving me alone for once.”

  “Enjoy every minute of this time with Troy, and keep me posted.”

  “Oh, I will. Let me know what you decide to do about Cabot and Bermuda.”

  “Will do.”

  “Look out for yourself in this, Iz. As hard as that might be, do what’s best for you.”

  “Thanks for listening. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Izzy ended the call and turned toward the gorgeous sunset unfolding over the beach, wishing Cabot was with her to enjoy it together. Vanessa’s news had filled her with happiness for her sister, which helped to offset some of the despair over her own situation.

  She needed to go back to their suite and figure out what to do. It pained her to realize she might have no choice but to leave him to work out his problems without her. What else could she do if he refused to share it with her? From the beginning, she’d understood that he’d endured a long, horrific ordeal at the hands of his ex-wife. After today, she also understood what he’d tried to tell her—that despite the reunion with his daughter a year ago, the damage was still an integral part of him—and always would be.

  If she took her sister’s advice and looked out for herself first, that might leave her with no choice but to walk away.

  God, she hoped it didn’t come to that.

  * * *

  Cabot was fully aware that he was destroying his lovely new relationship with Izzy, but he couldn’t pull himself out of the spiral no matter how hard he tried or how much he wanted to. It’d been a while since the darkness had sucked him in this deep, but seeing his ex-wife for the first time without any warning or preparation had flattened him.

  He fucking hated her.

  He hated that she was off living a whole new life while he was trying to form a relationship with the daughter who hadn’t known his name until a year ago.

  He hated that he hated her, that he wished her the same agony she’d perpetrated on him, that he wanted her dead.

  After years of therapy, he knew those feelings were only harming him. They had no effect whatsoever on her. She’d gotten to raise their daughter while he’d gone crazy looking for his child. And then he’d been forced to drop all pending charges against her in exchange for having his adult daughter in his life.

  He’d done as Mia had asked, but it hadn’t been easy to let go of any hope of justice. Yes, having Mia back had helped some, but every wonderful encounter with her also served as a stark reminder of everything he’d missed.

  From his post on the patio, he heard the main door to the suite open and then close. A light went on inside before Izzy came to find him.

  “I brought you a sandwich.” She put the plate and a bottle of cold water on the table next to him. “You need to eat something.”

  Cabot could hear the confusion and dismay in every word she said. She hadn’t signed on for this bullshit. He’d tried to warn her about his dark side, but she hadn’t wanted to hear it. That was why he’d kept his distance after the wedding and the dinner in Boston. He hadn’t wanted her to see him this way. While others in his life had remarked on how well he’d been doing since Mia returned, he’d been painfully aware that the darkness was still there, lurking, waiting to suck him back into its web at any time.

  He’d seethed over the fact that Deb had gotten away with what she’d done, with no ramifications other than a deeply fractured relationship with her daughter. As far as he knew, Mia had spoken only sporadically to her mother since the deception had been uncovered, which had happened only because Hunter Abbott was thorough in his role as CFO of the Abbott family businesses.

  Otherwise, Cabot might still be looking for his daughter.

  The rage was so much a part of who he was that he didn’t remember himself before it had taken hold of him. It simmered on low burn most of the time, always there, but not keeping him from living his life. Until something threw gas on it, like seeing his ex-wife arriving in Boston as if she had a right to be there, and then the flames surged, incinerating everything around him until there was nothing left but a bleak, barren landscape.

  He was used to it after all this time, but Izzy wasn’t. She wouldn’t stand for it, and who could blame her? Like he’d said before, she could have anyone she wanted. What did she need with a wreck of a man who couldn’t control his emotions, who retreated into himself like a toddler having a tantrum?

  As he picked at the turkey club and sipped from the water bottle, he tried as hard as he could to bring himself out of the death spiral he’d been in since he saw Deb’s face earlier. He dusted off all the techniques his longtime therapist had taught him to cope with the dark spells—visualization, meditation, journaling, looking for the positives in any situation, exercise, writing down one or two “good” things that were happening at the same time as the bad thing. He’d tried them all at various times over the years, and sometimes the tactics had helped, and other times they hadn’t.

  The current darkness was tinged with a feeling that the universe was trying to tell him something by putting Deb in Logan that morning, right when he was heading for a vacation with his new love. How could he see the encounter with her as anything other than a sign that he had no right to a new life and a new love with Izzy while rage this potent still burned within him?

  God, he loved Izzy. He loved her like he’d never loved any woman. The life they’d dreamed about together was right there, his for the taking if only he could find a way to put out the fire before it consumed her along with him. He couldn’t let that happen, couldn’t be responsible for doing anything to dim the light that burned so brightly in her.

  While he burned with rage, she was incandescent with joy, light and serenity.

  Rage was like the paper in a game of rock, paper, scissors, covering and smothering everything around it.

  He forced himself to stand, get his bearings and walk inside to find her.

  She was in bed, with her broken arm on a pillow, her gorgeous hair, the color of the finest whiskey, raining down around her shoulders as she eyed him with trepidation.

  He hated Deb for that, too, for crushing this beautiful second chance for him. “I think we should go home tomorrow.”

  “Okay.”

  “And after that, you should go back to Vermont. I’ll have a car service take you.” He could see how his words hurt her and wished he didn’t have to say them, but he couldn’t leave her with any hope. That would just be cruel. “I’m sorry.”

  Unshed tears made her eyes shiny. “Me, too.”

  Turning, he left the bedroom, closing the door behind him while telling himself it was for the best. This was why he’d avoided her after the first two times they’d met, because he knew he’d hurt her eventually. He’d gotten carried away after the accident, but nothing in him had changed.

  Today had proven that once and for all.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “You flew off with the wings of my heart and left me flightless.”

  —Stelle Atwater

  Izzy managed to hold it together during the long, sleepless night and the seemingly endless trip home the next day.

  After they arrived at Logan and cleared Customs, Cabot summoned an Uber to take them back to his place, where Izzy packed up her belongings and waited for the car service to arrive.

  They didn’t exchange a single word until he told her the car had arrived for her.

  She thought maybe he would hug her or kiss her or tell her again he was sorry, but he didn’t do any of those things. He carried her bag down the stairs and out to the car, handing it over to the driver, and then held her door like the gentleman he was, waiting until she was settled to close it.

  Then he turned and walked up the stairs and back into his house, rid of the problem she’d caused for him.

  That’s when she got mad.

  How dare he dismiss her that way, as if what they’d shared hadn’t meant a thing to him? For a second, she thought about getting out of the car and charging up the stairs to bang on the door to demand… what, exactly? Only pride and self-respect kept her from making a scene as the driver put the car in Drive and headed out of Beacon Hill.

  Izzy composed a text to Emily. We flew back to Boston this morning. Cabot sent me home to Vermont in a car service. Thought you should know.

  Before she sent the text, she tried to think of something else she could say, but what else was there? She and Cabot had shared something special that was over now. He’d made that perfectly clear with his surgical strike last night and his silence today.

  She sent the text.

  Emily replied when they were on Interstate 93, approaching Manchester, New Hampshire. OMG, I just got out of a meeting and saw this. I’m heartbroken. I can’t imagine how you must feel. I’m so sorry, Izzy. I don’t know what else to say.

  There’s nothing to say. It is what it is.

  He’s going to regret this.

  Maybe so, but this is how he wants it.

  He’s a FOOL!

  Thank you for your friendship. I wish you—and Cabot—all the best. Take care, Emily.

  You, too. I’m sorry again.

  Izzy didn’t reply to that, but she didn’t want Emily’s apology. She hadn’t done anything wrong. All Izzy wanted was to go home and be alone for as long as it took to recover from her physical and emotional wounds. After that, she would get back to work and put this relationship behind her. She’d moved on from other painful disappointments, and she’d survive this one, too.

  Somehow.

  * * *

  Over the next few weeks, Izzy threw herself into her recovery. Nolan helped her locate a used Jeep Cherokee with fairly low miles, new tires and a better stereo system than her old one had had. He confirmed the engine was sound and that the airbags had been recently inspected. That last item was more important to her than it had ever been before airbags had saved her life.

  Vanessa reported that life in the city with Troy was blissful and that she was planning to give up her place in Boston to make a permanent move to New York. Izzy was so happy for her sister. Some people got lucky. Others didn’t. She’d always known that, but she ached for the happy ending that had been within her reach before it was snatched away by the past.

  She got her cast off in late January and began the arduous and painful physical therapy to get her left arm working again. As soon as she felt up to it, she began walking every day, trying to get back some of the muscle tone and stamina she’d lost during her recovery. Whenever she could, she worked on her computer, processing the photo shoots she’d done right before the accident and getting in touch with clients to reschedule jobs now that she was on her way back to full health.

  Izzy celebrated with Vanessa when she packed up her apartment in Boston and officially moved to New York to live with Troy. She helped to plan Emma’s upcoming bridal shower and attended a birthday party for her mother and Noah. If her family wondered where Cabot had gone, they kept their questions to themselves, for which she was extremely grateful. She didn’t want to talk about the most painful situation in her life.

  In mid-February, Mia left a voice mail message, asking Izzy to call her when she got a minute. Izzy didn’t want to talk to her about Cabot or what was wrong with him or what ought to be done about it. She’d worried herself sick over him, but what could she do after being summarily dismissed from his life?

  Only because Mia was also her cousin’s wife did Izzy return the call two days later. Her stomach was in knots as she waited for someone to pick up at Wade and Mia’s house.

  “Izzy,” Mia said. “Thank you so much for calling me back.”

  “Sorry it took me a minute. Things have been busy.”

  “You’re feeling better?”

  “Much. Almost back to full steam, except for my arm, which is still giving me some trouble. But even that’s way better than it was.”

  “I’m so glad to hear it. I’ve been meaning to call you to say… Well, I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry for what happened with my dad. Emily told me what she knew about what’d transpired, which wasn’t much, just that you came back from Bermuda the day after you went, and Dad sent you home.”

  “That about sums it up. I assume you’ve spoken to him.”

  “Yes, but he doesn’t have much to say about anything. He sounds kind of awful, actually. I’m really worried about him.”

  Izzy was perversely glad to hear he might be feeling as dreadful as she did. “I’m sorry to hear that, but I’m not sure what I can do about it. He was pretty clear that he wanted me gone, so I’m gone.”

  “I don’t believe for a second that’s what he really wants, Izzy.” Mia sounded like she might cry. “He’s crazy about you. We all saw that.”

  Izzy’s eyes burned with tears that she refused to allow to fall. She’d cried enough tears over him. “I wish I could tell you something that would help, but I’m at a loss. He was obviously undone by seeing your mother.”

  “As was I.”

  Izzy had wondered if Deb had gone to see Mia, but asking would’ve meant contacting Mia and having this painful conversation sooner. “She came to your house?”

  “She did. Wade talked to her and asked her to leave.”

  Izzy had so many questions she didn’t ask. It was no longer her concern, and it wasn’t in her best interest to become more involved.

  “Look,” Mia said, “I know it’s a lot to ask, but if I could get my dad to come up here, would you see him?”

  Izzy ached like she hadn’t since that awful day when she last saw him. “I can’t, Mia. I’m so, so sorry. I care for him so very much, but I can’t see him. He made it very clear that we were done.”

  “I understand.” Mia sounded as sad as Izzy had ever heard her. “I don’t know him as well as I should, but I know happy when I see it, and he was happy with you. I want so much for him to be happy and to find some peace. He deserves it more than anyone.”

  “Yes, he does, and I’m sorry he couldn’t find it with me.”

  “But he did, though. I saw that. What happened between you guys wasn’t your fault or his. It was hers. She did this.”

  “As much as I want to agree with you, I can’t.” How could she say this diplomatically? “What was done to him was incredibly cruel and horrible. Anyone with a heart would agree. But how he reacts to it now, all these years later? That’s on him. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  “I do, and I agree. He’s letting her ruin his life all over again, but I don’t know how to make him see that. I’ve tried. Believe me, I have, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. Emily says he doesn’t want to burden me with the trauma he suffered because of me.”

  “Which is probably true.”

  “How can I make him see that I want him to burden me? We were both harmed by what she did. Who else can understand better than I can?”

  “If you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should go there and tell him that.”

  “Wade said the same thing. I’ve felt weird about invading my dad’s privacy, but I can’t bear to see him working himself into a frenzy rather than deal with the rest of his life.”

  It pained Izzy to hear that’s what he’d been doing, but she wasn’t surprised. “If anyone would be welcome in the midst of whatever he’s dealing with, I’d imagine it would be you.”

  “Wade said that, too. I’m going to ask for some time off and go there. I’ll coordinate with Emily to make sure he’ll be in town. I’ve heard he’s been traveling a lot.”

  That detail told her a lot because she knew he preferred to be at home.

  “I wish you—and him—all the best, Mia.”

  “Don’t give up on him, Izzy. Please don’t.”

  Izzy wanted to weep, but if she started, she might never stop. “Take care of yourself, Mia, and give Wade my best.”

  “I will. Thanks again for calling me back.”

  “No problem.”