As he leaned down to kiss her, she didn’t move away. She wanted the kiss. If it was going to be her last kiss with Aaron Bergstrom, she wanted to remember it. So blanking her mind, she gave herself over to his lips, the taste of chocolate and beer on his tongue, the feel of his leather jacket underneath her fingers as she clutched him tight, and the scent of the outdoors that surrounded her.

  When the kiss finally ended, he leaned back and breathed heavily. “You make it so hard to walk away.”

  She blinked, a bucket of ice-cold water pouring over her head. It took a moment, but she realized he just meant to walk away this evening. She was glad that they hadn’t planned on him spending the night. Having already had sex made it so much more challenging to watch him leave. She assumed the women he’d dated in the past would’ve been sexual partners before they broke up. A knife twisted in her gut—not from the thought of him being with other women before her since everyone had a past, but that it seemed as though it was easy for him to have that intimacy in a relationship and then walk away.

  “Drive safely,” she whispered. Lifting on her toes, she placed a barely-there kiss on the edge of his mouth before lowering her heels to the floor. “Be well.”

  His brow furrowed for a second. Then he nuzzled his nose against her face until his lips were at her ear. “Lock up behind me, sweetheart.” He then kissed the side of her cheek.

  She nodded, knowing it was the last time he would call her sweetheart… knowing she would need to lock up her heart.

  “What the hell? Who brings a girl to a family gathering, and then that’s it? Dumps them before they have a chance to walk away from him? That’s nuts! And it’s bullshit!” Bess yelled.

  Belinda couldn’t disagree with her sister but didn’t have a good answer for her. “I have no idea.”

  It was now Sunday evening, and Belinda had spent Friday and Saturday working on family events that she’d been hired to photograph. Bess had flown back to the Eastern Shore to open her shop the following morning.

  And now, the two sisters were lounging in Belinda’s living room with a mostly empty wine bottle on the coffee table. Each was in a corner of her sofa, with their feet tucked under them as they faced each other.

  “And to think he kept all twelve of those éclairs! I hope he choked on them!” Bess continued her tirade.

  Belinda had spent the weekend thinking about her burgeoning relationship with Aaron and the fact that she already knew it would end. Even though they’d had sex—fabulous, impulsive, on-the-floor sex that she’d never experienced before and would likely now be ruined for any other man—she knew they had never declared a dating status. And it was so early in their relationship it would be ridiculous to take offense at what she overheard. He hadn’t broken any promises. So after some tears and a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream eaten in one sitting, she admitted only her heart was involved.

  Looking at her sister’s indignant face, she offered a wan smile. “Well, I don’t hope he choked on his éclairs, but maybe if he devoured them all at once, he might have ended up with a stomachache,” she conceded. Sighing, she shook her head. “It’s stupid.”

  “What is, Sis?”

  “How much I crushed on him in high school. Not that I was seeing him to fulfill some unrequited teenage angst bullshit, but I really thought that the dates we had, the fun we’d had, meeting his family… I thought it was special. I thought we had what it took to build the blocks of a relationship. But that was all just stupid.”

  The sisters were quiet for a moment. Belinda loved that about Bess—her sister would come to her defense in an instant but also understood when she just needed a little peace.

  After a few minutes, Bess asked, “I take it that you haven’t heard from him since then?”

  “We’ve texted occasionally over the last few evenings, but I kept it simple. We were both working. He knew you were coming home today, and I wanted to spend time with you.”

  “So what are you going to do? I’m sure he’ll come to the bakery tomorrow morning. I’ve interviewed somebody to help out, and they’ll start this week so that you don’t have to be there if you don’t want to⁠—”

  “No, I’m not going to hide.” Her chest fell with the heavy sigh that left her lungs. “I hate confrontation, and I’ll be polite. After all, it was only my expectations that got squashed. But with all my photography jobs between now and New Year’s, I’ll be slammed during evenings and weekends. And from what I overheard, as soon as we get into the new year, he’ll have to spend all his time studying for his detective examination.” She shrugged and took a long sip of wine, slurping up the dregs in the bottom of her glass. “It seems like a natural break-off point for us, anyway.”

  Bess huffed. “Well, I still think it sucks.”

  Belting out a laugh that sounded more like a scoff than lighthearted humor, Belinda couldn’t agree more.

  Monday morning found Belinda behind the counter, with the customer line almost out the door. As busy as she was, she couldn’t help but glance at the door every time the bell rang. At first, she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed when Aaron didn’t come in. Chastising herself, she plastered a wide smile on her face and greeted the next customer in line, finally deciding he wasn’t going to stop by. Maybe he is going to ghost me.

  Busy filling coffee and pastry orders, she was surprised when she turned her bright smile to the next customer and spied Aaron smiling back at her. She hadn’t even realized he was in line.

  “Hey, sweetheart.”

  Her heart twinged. She’d been wrong… she hadn’t heard him call her “sweetheart” for the last time. “Hey.” The word came out scratchy, and she cleared her throat. “Your usual?”

  “Absolutely, beautiful,” he said with a wink.

  Before, her heart would’ve warmed at how he looked at her, but now it twinged again. She couldn’t understand how much it hurt to know she was just in a line of many when they’d only gone out a few times.

  Turning her back to him, she fixed his coffee and grabbed an éclair from the pastry shelf. She accepted his money for the pastry, returning the extra he’d given her for the coffee. He chuckled and tossed the returned bills into the tip jar.

  “I feel like we haven’t talked much in the past couple of days,” he said. “What’s your week look like?”

  “I’m working on an online business class in the evenings, and next weekend is slammed with photography jobs.”

  His brow furrowed as his smile slipped. “I’m on days this week, so that doesn’t give us a chance to go out.”

  She turned to the customer behind him, took her order, and then looked back at Aaron. “We can check and see what the next week is like.”

  Her reply didn’t appear to offer him much satisfaction, but he nodded. He leaned closer and whispered, “I hope you have a good week, sweetheart. Take care, and we’ll talk soon.”

  She nodded, but the gap between them seemed to widen with each second. Her gaze followed him as he walked out the door, and she sighed heavily. “Why do relationships have to be so hard?”

  “I don’t know, honey, but if you find out, let the rest of us know.”

  She was startled, not realizing she’d spoken aloud, and stared at the beleaguered expression of the female customer standing before her. Shaking her head, she chuckled and moved to fill the woman’s order.

  The bakery continued to be slammed as though the holiday break had caused the customers to become desperate for Bess’s coffee and treats. Even though Aaron came in to see her, they barely had time to speak as she was quickly dealing with customers. Bess’s new employee had started and was a fast learner, but the only change Belinda made to her schedule was that she didn’t show up to the bakery in the afternoons.

  Aaron worked the late shift the following week, so their texts slowed even more. Christmas was around the corner, and she felt unsettled instead of feeling the season's cheer.

  “Why do you feel that way?” Bess asked after Belinda confessed her feelings.

  “It seems wrong. It seems sneaky. It seems like I’m just ghosting him for no reason, and that’s not the kind of person I am.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  Her shoulders slumped with the weight of the crumbling short-term relationship bearing down. “I’m going to talk to him. I’ve asked him to come over after his shift.”

  Bess’s face fell. “Oh, honey. Late-night conversations that aren’t sexy are rarely a good thing.”

  Belinda blinked. Twice. Then laughed. “Where did you hear that?”

  “I saw it on a T-shirt in the consignment shop down the street.”

  “Well, I’m not ready to take advice from a T-shirt saying.” As their smiles slid away, she reached out to grasp Bess’s hand. “I’m unhappy and need to do something about it.”

  Bess squeezed her fingers. “After you talk to him, come over. I’ll have the wine ready.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but we’ll see. Anyway, I’ll be fine. Promise.”

  It was easy to make the promise to her sister, but she wondered how to make the promise to herself.

  10

  Something was holding Belinda back. The shift in their conversations was palpable. Aaron felt the slow erosion with each short text, stilted encounter, and reserved conversation. He missed the easy rapport between them. He missed the way his heart beat faster when she was near. And he sure as hell missed their kisses. A shadow had fallen between them since Thanksgiving, and he couldn’t figure out what caused the clouds.

  Attempting to bridge the widening gap, he decided on a diversion from his planned afternoon. He threw back the last of the sludge that the station called coffee, signed off his shift, and drove to the church he’d discovered was the location of a photo shoot for a high school senior. Belinda mentioned that the site was different, but the adolescent was fascinated with old church architecture and wanted his senior pictures to be in front of his favorite stained glass window. Hell, thinking back, he’d wanted his senior pictures to be on the baseball field. To each their own.

  Just as he pulled up, the teenager was driving away with a smile on his face. Whether due to getting the photos he wanted or because the photographer was the stuff of adolescent wet dreams, Aaron had no idea. God knew she’d starred in a few rub-offs for him since he’d met her.

  Seeing her car but not her, he climbed from his SUV and was drawn to the side of the church. He was surprised to see Belinda bending low, her camera dangling at her side as she perused tombstones. He watched her mesmerizing actions as she meandered through the old graveyard in a moment of unexpected tranquility. Something in her movements was almost reverent. Her gentle sway, the contemplative tilt of her head, the way she placed her hand gently on the front of the tombstones and traced the letters with her finger.

  The sunshine of earlier had passed as clouds moved to cover the sky. A profound sense of melancholy settled deep in the pit of his chest.

  A breeze kicked up, and she wrapped her arms around her stomach. She turned as he pushed off from the church's side and walked forward. Her eyes widened, and the moment of surprise that flickered across her face was a brief reminder of the spark that had once illuminated their every encounter. She began to move, meeting him in the middle of the graveyard.

  “Hey, Aaron. What are you doing here?”

  “I…” He grappled with the turmoil churning within him, suddenly unsure why he was there. The light he’d grown used to seeing in her eyes was no longer there. And while he missed it, he wasn’t sure how to bring it back or if he’d even have time to try. He jammed his fingers into his pockets and blurted, “I feel like things have slowed with us, and I just didn’t want to let it drag out any longer without talking. So I decided to meet you here instead of waiting until you got home.”

  She dropped her chin and stared at her feet for a moment, then lifted her head and held his gaze. “I know how you feel. I was going to talk to you, but I’ve been putting this off.”

  His chest tightened, but he remained quiet. He had no idea what would come out of her mouth, but he already knew her well enough to know it would be honest.

  “I really like you, Aaron. That’s not a throwaway line. I haven’t had a lot of serious relationships, but the few I’ve had have hurt when they ended. When you start a relationship with someone new, there’s always a chance that you’ll get hurt, but I suppose I find myself always willing to discover a happily ever after. But I’m not sure that’s what you’re looking for.”

  His head jerked back slightly, and his brow lowered. “What makes you think that? Have I done something to make you feel I wasn’t interested?”

  “No. I just… I guess I just don’t want to be the girlfriend of the season.”

  At that, his heart threatened to beat out of his chest and his palms sweat despite the chill in the air. He started to ask her what she meant, and then the conversation he and Andy had at Thanksgiving slammed into him.

  She must’ve seen understanding dawn on his face because she rushed, “I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. You and Andy were on the back deck, and I was in the downstairs powder room. As I went to the sink, your voices were just on the other side of the window. The blinds were down, so of course, you couldn’t see me, but I was able to hear everything.”

  His stomach clenched, and he shook his head. “Belinda, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean⁠—”

  Her hands lifted, and she shook her head quickly, tendrils of hair flying about her face. “No, please don’t apologize, Aaron. You and Andy were just being honest with each other. Bess and I have the same kind of relationship. I know you’re not someone who just goes from bar hookup to bar hookup, but you and your brother were very plain about how you date someone for a couple of months and then leave because a part of you is afraid of being left first. I can only assume that the other girlfriends you’ve had over the years were not the right person to be with. We all have a past. But hearing me lumped in with all the others, especially knowing they had met your family, made me realize I wasn’t special. And it seems you don’t have a history of trying to make it through the tough times.”

  He wanted to deny her gently given accusations but couldn’t. Everything she said was right. “I just never found the right person, Belinda. So yeah, I broke things off.”

  She nodded and sucked in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I get that. I really do. But when you were talking to Andy, two things struck me. You have a lot going on in your life and career in the upcoming months, and I totally understand. Working toward becoming a detective is important and needs your full attention. I wholly support you in that.”

  He tilted his head, noticing how calm she was on the outside but how tightly her hands were clasped in front of her. Her knuckles were white, and when he stared at her face, he could see her chin quiver and her lips tremble. He thought of his past breakups, each of them initiated by him. He had been met with tears, tantrums, anger, and even a slapped face for leading them on or not giving them a chance.

  But Belinda was working so hard to maintain her calm after admitting she overheard a conversation that must’ve been painful. And even though the words were coming from her, they were initiated by his actions. Once again.

  He finally asked, “What’s the second point that struck you?”

  She pressed her lips tightly together for a moment. “I knew what I felt for you was growing and getting stronger.” A scoff barked out from her lips. “I wasn’t exclaiming vows of love, but I knew I was ready to date you exclusively. You hesitated when Andy pushed you about where you saw our relationship going. You held back. And when he brought up the upcoming changes in your life, you freely admitted that starting something now would be difficult.” Her chest heaved as she swallowed deeply. “I respect your need to focus on yourself, but I don’t deserve to be with someone… give my heart to someone not ready for that kind of relationship.”

  He opened and closed his mouth several times, feeling like a fish out of water. He couldn’t get enough oxygen to his brain even to form a coherent thought.

  Her lips curved slightly, but the smile held sadness, not joy, and for that, his heart squeezed in his chest.

  She bent and gathered her camera case sitting on the ground and started to walk past him.

  He reached out to grab her arm and twisted around quickly. “Belinda.”

  Her gaze lifted to his face.

  “What… what were you looking at when I walked up? What had you so fascinated in this graveyard?” His question surprised himself, but suddenly, he wanted to know what had been on her mind.

  Her head turned slightly as her gaze now roamed over the headstones. Her shoulders lifted in a little shrug, and she said, “People find graveyards to be sad and lonely places. But I’m always fascinated by the visual testimonies that someone lived and died. Every person here had a life, and there’s no way to know what they did with their life. But when I’m here, it makes me think of them. They lived, they loved, they worked, they played. I always hope they had friends and love and enjoyed life.” She shrugged again. “I know it sounds weird, but I feel a certain peace here. It reminds me to live and to love.”

  They were quiet for a moment as the breeze blew past them. He searched for words as beautiful as the ones she’d spoken, but that had never come easily for him. He had sometimes felt that he was broken inside but now was convinced he was. “I’m sorry. I think there’s something… I know there’s something inside me that just…”

  Her sad smile remained, and she nodded, stepping closer. Lifting on her toes, she placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “I wish you all the best, Aaron.”

  With that, she turned away and walked to her car. His gaze never left her, and he stood in the middle of the graveyard, staring at the road long after she disappeared.