“Fuck,” Chase cursed. “Look, I have a lot to apologize for, starting with the fact that I knew when I asked you and Tate to participate in Zoe’s fantasy that you both had feelings for her. I also knew what might happen between the four of us as far as our relationship, not that it would fuck things up, but maybe I wanted to test the waters and see where things took us.”

  Brody shot him an incredulous look. “What did you think would happen? That we’d fuck her and go on our merry way?”

  “No, that’s not what I thought at all. God, this is twisted.”

  “Try me,” Brody challenged.

  “Look, it started as a fantasy but deep down I wondered what would happen if we did have some sort of permanent arrangement. I don’t know what the hell you call it. But the four of us together, Zoe having a relationship with all of us. It was arrogant. I was messing with the lives of three other people without thinking it through. I admit that. But I also knew that you and Tate had some serious feelings for her, and I suspected that she had deep feelings for the two of you.”

  “So why bring in the other guy? I don’t get it.”

  “Because I got carried away,” Chase bit out. “It was a mistake, okay? Zoe and I talked about our really hot fantasies. In mine I watched her being fucked by another guy, but at the time I never imagined it being anyone other than you or Tate. She admitted she had fantasies about being me holding her down, you and Tate holding her legs while she was fucked by other guys. In hindsight it was probably just a fantasy, a fleeting thought that turned her on. I should have left it at that, or just kept it to the four of us. But I didn’t. I made a mistake. One I genuinely regret because it pissed you and Tate off, and now Zoe is dying because she’s worried how you and Tate looked at it all.”

  “Shit, tell me she isn’t worried that Tate and I are angry at her.”

  “I can’t tell you that,” Chase said honestly. “She’s upset. She admitted to me that night that she’d die before ever inadvertently hurting you or Tate. She’s worried that her fantasy put the two of you in a bad position.”

  “Fuck.” Brody rubbed a hand over his face. His eyes looked bleak and tired. “Goddamn it. What a mess.”

  Then he looked back up at Chase, his eyes narrowed.

  “You’re telling me you entertained the idea of a relationship between me and Zoe? How the hell is that supposed to work?”

  Chase rolled his hand over the back of his head and rotated his neck. Damn but he was tired, and he didn’t have all the damn answers.

  “I’m saying I thought about it, yeah. As to how it would work, I don’t know. I haven’t even mentioned it to Zoe. I have no idea how she would react. This isn’t even a conversation you and I should be having. We should be talking about this between the four of us before everything goes to hell between us and things are done and said that can’t be changed. Like you moving out.”

  “Are you saying you want me to say all this to Zoe? In front of you and in front of Tate? You want me to unload all this on her this way?”

  “Yeah, I do. We’ve always been honest. Always. It does us no good to talk about this because we’re leaving out the one person who is most important to the equation. Zoe. This has to be her choice. It has to be your choice. I’ll tell you right now, I’m not giving Zoe up. I’m not being noble and stepping out of the way just because you and Tate have feelings for her. I love her and I know she loves me. The thing is she loves you too. But if you expect her to make a choice, just let it be known that I’m not going to stand aside and be the better man. Fuck that. I’ll fight for her with every breath in my body.”

  “So you’re saying if I want a relationship with her, I’ll have to share her with you and Tate, provided Tate is even down with this.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Chase said.

  “Christ,” Brody whispered. “This is crazy. How does something like this even work?”

  “Does it matter? Tell me this, Brody. If Zoe wants it. If she wants the three of us, are you going to give a damn about anything other than the fact you’ll have her?”

  “No,” he said bleakly. “No, I won’t.”

  “Then I suggest you get your ass home so that when Zoe gets home we can talk about this with her so she’ll stop hurting. Right now, no matter what happens, whether she kicks me to the curb or she goes along with this, I just want her to stop hurting.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Brody said quietly. “When does she get off?”

  “Three today. She’s pulled a double, and she’s going to be tired, but I want us all to be there when she gets home.”

  “Have you talked to Tate?”

  Chase sighed. “No, I have to find him first.”

  It took Chase the better part of an hour to track Tate down, and by the time he drove up to the batting cages, Chase was tired and ready to get it the fuck over with.

  He watched from the truck as Tate cracked ball after ball. When Tate finished the current rotation, Chase got out of the truck and headed his way.

  “Hey, hold up,” Chase called when Tate pressed the button for another turn.

  Tate lowered the bat and stepped away from the plate.“What’s up?

  The guarded way he looked at Chase told him he was going to a tough nut to crack. Maybe even harder than Brody. Although Brody never had qualms about laying it out in the open, Tate tended to be a lot more private. It was anyone’s guess as to whether Tate would open up. Unlike Brody, who’d announce to everyone he was leaving, if Tate decided to move out, he’d just be gone one day.

  “We need to talk.”

  The ball smacked the back of the fence. Tate hesitated a moment before opening the gate and leaving the batting area. He didn’t say anything to Chase as he walked toward his truck to put his gear away. Chase followed, not disturbing the silence.

  Finally Tate closed his truck door and turned to Chase. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “Zoe.”

  Tate flinched and averted his gaze. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Look, I’ve already had this conversation with Brody an hour ago. I’m tired and impatient so I’ll apologize up front for my bluntness. Brody’s thinking of moving out. Any chance you’re thinking along the same lines?”

  Tate didn’t look surprised by Chase’s announcement. Not a good thing. Maybe Tate and Brody had discussed it, although Chase doubted Tate would have discussed his personal feelings for Zoe with anyone.

  Tate shrugged and his lips pressed together in a firm line. “I’ve considered it, yeah.”

  Chase ran a hand through his hair and wished he didn’t have to get into this all over again with Tate and then go home and rehash it all when Zoe got there. Part of him wished he had the balls to just say fuck it and only focus on his relationship with Zoe. But Zoe was miserable, and he wanted her happy. Tate and Brody were his friends, and he wanted them happy.

  “You’re going to get an abbreviated version of what I told Brody, okay? Then you can decide what to do. I can’t make a decision for you.”

  Tate frowned and his brow crinkled in confusion as he stared back at Chase. “Okay. Hit me with it.”

  “I made some mistakes. I’ll apologize up front about the night with Dillon. It shouldn’t have happened, and it only clouded the issue and made everyone involved damned uncomfortable. I’ve already had this conversation with Zoe. I went too far.

  “The other thing I have to apologize for is the fact that I knew before I ever asked you and Brody to participate in Zoe’s fantasy that you both had feelings for her.”

  Tate’s gaze narrowed. “You knew?”

  “Yeah, I knew.” Chase shoved his hands into his pockets and took a breath. “Look, Zoe has feelings for you too. She’s avoiding us all because she’s worried she hurt you and Brody with her fantasy, that somehow she messed up because of Dillon. Dillon is my fault. Not hers. But I can’t fix this with her without you and Brody. This has to be something that comes from the three of us.”

  Tate shook his head and rubbed his palm over his jaw. “You’ve lost me, man.”

  “Are you in love with her?” Chase asked bluntly.

  Tate’s expression grew impassive. It was like iron bars rolled over his eyes. He was a hard son of a bitch.

  “Now that would be pretty damn stupid, wouldn’t it?” Tate asked softly. “Falling for my best friend’s girl?”

  “I didn’t ask you if it was stupid. I asked if you were in love with her.”

  For a moment Chase thought Tate would deny it. He wore a pinched, pissed-off look that usually meant someone was in trouble. Hell. The last thing he wanted was a fight with his best friend.

  Then to Chase’s surprise, Tate’s shoulders sagged, and he leaned back against the truck frame.

  “Yeah,” he said quietly. “For all the good it’ll do me.”

  “Bear with me, okay? Because Zoe gets off soon, and we need to be at the house when she gets there.”

  Tate’s brow wrinkled again. “We?”

  “Yeah, we. This is going to sound bizarre, but I’m just going to lay it out there. What if . . . What if you could have a relationship with Zoe?”

  Tate started to scowl, but Chase held up a hand to silence him before he got started.

  “This is a conversation we’re going to have to have with Zoe because in the end it’ll be up to her, but the fact is, the three of us all love her and she loves us. I’m simply proposing that things stay the same. We all live together. Recently we’ve all been making love to her.”

  Tate held up both hands, his head shaking in denial. “That’s crazy, Chase. You’re saying you’d be okay with me and Brody having a relationship with Zoe while you are? I’m not even sure what the hell you’re saying because it’s nuts.”

  Chase looked down at his watch and blew out his breath in frustration. He knew he wasn’t handling this right. He’d dropped a bomb on Tate, and he didn’t have time to sit here and go through it like he had with Brody. Furthermore he didn’t want to. Not when they were destined to have the conversation all over again when Zoe got home.

  “I don’t have time to explain. Think about what I said. If it’s something you’re open to, meet me at the house. Zoe will be home soon, and Brody and I intend to be there when she walks in the door.”

  Knowing he’d probably just made a giant clusterfuck of the entire situation, Chase turned and walked over to his truck. Maybe he couldn’t solve the problem for all parties involved, but he damn sure wasn’t going to screw up things between him and Zoe. And maybe that’s all he could control.

  CHAPTER | EIGHTEEN

  She was a live coward. An exhausted, bone-weary coward, but a chicken nonetheless. Which was stupid, really. No one had said anything to her after the night of the . . . Hell, she didn’t even know what to call it. Gangbang?

  She winced. Bad word choice. It might be apropos, but she didn’t have to like it. And the thing was, she enjoyed it. It was sexy and she’d definitely orgasmed long and hard. It was the aftermath where reality caught up to her that squeezed her insides.

  Some things . . . Some things just weren’t worth the end result. Something had changed between her and Brody and Tate that night. Something that made her afraid. Like maybe they’d turned a corner they couldn’t go back on.

  She needed to talk to them about it, but she was too worried about what they’d say. So she’d avoided them for days, hoping . . . stupidly hoping that if she ignored the problem it would go away.

  Add dumb to coward and you got a stupid chicken.

  When Zoe realized she’d been sitting in the driveway for five minutes now, she shook her head and got out of her vehicle. From the looks of things Brody and Chase were both home. Tate was not. Well, two out of three wasn’t bad, and it was a start.

  Just before entering the house, she rubbed her damp palms nervously down the legs of her scrubs. What the hell was she afraid of?

  Well, she knew; she just didn’t know if her fears were founded or not.

  When she walked into the kitchen, she found Chase waiting for her. Or at least she assumed that was what he was doing since he was in the center of the room staring directly at her.

  There was a seriousness to his expression that unsettled her. She couldn’t read his eyes, didn’t know if he was angry or upset, or if he was anything at all.

  “Hey,” he said softly. “Tough day at work?”

  She tried to answer, but her throat was so tight that the words died before they ever hit her tongue. She swallowed and tried again.

  “Just tired. Usual stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

  She hated this awkwardness between them. They weren’t the type to indulge in meaningless little small talk. And yet here they stood, feet apart, talking about mundane shit. Next they’d actually be discussing the weather.

  “We need to talk,” he said in a somber voice. Again, nothing in his expression betrayed what his intent was. So she nodded because they did need to talk.

  She just wished she weren’t so afraid of the outcome.

  He reached out and picked up her hand, his fingers curling around her palm. “Before anything else is said, I need you to know I love you. That’s not going to change no matter what.”

  “You’re scaring me,” she whispered.

  His eyes softened. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, baby. I just need you to know I love you and nothing’s ever going to change that. Tate . . . Brody and I have some things we need to say to you.”

  She glanced around Chase to see Brody leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, his expression tense . . . but hopeful.

  The door opened behind her, and she swung around to see Tate standing in the doorway, his eyes dark, his features drawn tight. He looked past her to Chase.

  “I’m here,” he said in a low voice. “Am I too late?”

  Her brow furrowed as she looked between the two men. What in the hell was going on?

  “No, Zoe just got home,” Chase said.

  Tate walked in and shut the door behind him. Without another word he walked up to Zoe and surprised her by pulling her into his arms.

  “Don’t look so worried,” he murmured against her ear. “We’ll work things out, okay?”

  Before she could respond, he tilted her chin up and kissed her, his fingers tangling in her hair as he pulled her closer to him. When he stepped back, she stared at him in bewilderment. He smiled, touched a finger to her swollen lips, and then walked past her toward the living room.

  She turned back to Chase, looking for his reaction to what had just occurred.

  “Chase, what is going on?”

  He held out his hand, palm up. It was a request for her trust. He wanted her to come with him into the living room where Tate and Brody had retreated. As she slid her fingers over his hand, butterflies took wing in her stomach.

  Fear and uncertainty gripped her as Chase led her toward the living room. She sensed this moment was huge. Bigger than anything else that might happen in her life. How she handled it would have an impact, not only on her, but on the lives of the three people she loved most in the world.

  Neither Tate nor Brody was sitting. They stood in different parts of the room. Tension emanated from them until she could feel their discomfort as keenly as her own.

  Had their friendship come to this? Awkward moments where they couldn’t even look at each other without uncertainty? Where they couldn’t talk without some grand production? Had she done this with her avoidance? Had she gone too far with fantasies that should have been confined to pillow talk with Chase?

  She didn’t want to lose Tate and Brody. She didn’t want to lose Chase. She took heart from his declaration just a few moments ago. No matter what, he loved her. That wouldn’t change. Right?

  But he didn’t speak for Tate and Brody. Only they could do that. And now she was afraid to hear what they had to say.

  “I’ll start by offering you the same apology I’ve already offered Tate and Brody,” Chase began in a low voice. “You all need to hear it together because it builds the foundation of everything else we need to discuss.”

  Her head swiveled in Chase’s direction. “Apology?” What did he have to apologize for?

  Chase nodded slowly. “I had a good idea of what might happen if I asked Tate and Brody to participate in your fantasy. It’s not that I wanted trouble. Quite the opposite, actually. I thought ...”

  “He thought there was a possibility that the four of us could share a unique relationship,” Brody said.

  She turned in Brody’s direction to see him staring at her, his eyes so intense that she shivered under his scrutiny. “Four?”

  “He suspected that we . . . I . . . was in love with you,” Tate said.

  “And me,” Brody added quietly.

  Her pulse ratcheted up until she could feel it pounding at her temples. “Are you?” she managed to croak out.

  “Yes,” Brody answered, his voice tight.

  She looked to Tate to see him standing there looking so . . . distant. He hesitated for a long second. Then his gaze found hers, and in that moment she saw raw vulnerability.

  “Yes,” Tate finally said in a voice that was almost too low for her to hear “I do. I have. For a long time.”

  She opened her mouth, but what could she say? She turned helplessly in Chase’s direction. How could she say anything at all? If she denied her feelings for Tate and Brody, she lost them, surely. But if she said anything, what would that do to Chase?

  Chase closed the distance between them and gently cupped his palm to her cheek. “Do you remember what I said in the kitchen? Remember that, Zoe. Nothing that happens, nothing, will change the fact that I love you.”

  She looked into his eyes and saw not only acceptance, but something else. Approval? Hope? It was then she realized that she wasn’t the only one agonizing over what could be lost here. These guys were friends. Not just her best friends, but each other’s best friends as well.