“I…didn’t ask,” I say faintly.

  It’s true. Lyle is the owner of the company that is directly competing with my father’s company, the very business that I’m trying so hard to ally us with. I feel like I’m going to be sick.

  I feel used.

  “Is he just laughing at me?” I wonder. “All this time? Has he been watching me run around after him and laughing that I’m at his beck and call? Did he only get together with me so that he could make sure the alliance went well?”

  “Why would he do that?” my mother asks patiently.

  “For a takeover!” I exclaim. The thought takes root in my mind. “Once he’s connected with us, he can also start having a stake in what we do. Before we know it, our company will fall and become part of Energy Plus Co.! Oh fuck, this is exactly what Dad is afraid of!”

  “Calm down,” my mother says sharply, and her voice breaks through the quickly growing panic. “Your father’s paranoia has very little to do with any actual truth, so don’t start following him down that line of thought. Now, take a deep breath, Amanda.”

  I struggle to obey her. I don’t know where the panic has come from – likely from the same shifting hormones that produced my tears and anger if I’m honest. I take in a few shuddering breaths before I manage to calm myself.

  Once I do, tears come to my eyes again. Shit, being pregnant sucks. I’m going to hate it if it’s this constant rollercoaster of emotions, I swear.

  “Now, what’s going on?” my mother asks calmly. “This isn’t like you. I understand that you’re upset about Lyle, but…”

  “I’m pregnant,” I blurt out.

  Stony silence settles over the living room. My mother stares at me, shocked at my words. I fidget and look away from her stillness.

  “What?” she finally croaks.

  “That’s… The doctor suggested it and then I took a test,” I say in a small voice, my shoulders hunching. “I didn’t want to believe it… We forgot protection once, about two weeks ago, because we were a little tipsy. I didn’t think it would mean anything, especially after we both got tested for diseases. But…”

  “You ended up pregnant,” my mother finished when I faltered. “Well…that’s definitely unexpected.”

  That wasn’t the response I was expecting.

  “Of course it is!” I burst out. “Do you think I tried to fall pregnant! I don’t even know what I’m going to do, especially with everything I’ve just figured out about Lyle!” My eyes widen in horror as another thought occurs to me. “And, oh shit, Dad. What the hell am I supposed to tell him? ‘Gee, Dad, sorry, but I fucked your rival, and now I’m having his baby’?”

  “Amanda,” my mother says, her eyes narrowing. “I understand that you’re upset by all this, but please try to calm down.”

  I bury my face in my hands.

  “What do I do, Mom?” I ask pathetically.

  “I don’t know,” she admits. “But your first step is to talk to Lyle. I understand that you’re hurt that he kept secrets from you, but you owe him a chance to explain at least, even if you don’t like what you hear. Chances are that it’s not as bad as you’re thinking.”

  “How am I supposed to trust anything he tells me?” I protest.

  “Why don’t you take a few days to think about it,” my mother suggests. “Calm down first, and then make your decision…for everything. I’ll back you one hundred per cent, no matter what you want to do.” She gives me a grim smile. “And I’ll deal with your father, too.”

  I wilt in relief. Dealing with my father, in all honesty, would be the worst thing about this. He’ll be so angry. While he won’t have any right to control my life, he’ll be too angry at my imagined transgression that he won’t listen to reason. He probably won’t even believe me when I try to tell him that I didn’t actually know who Lyle was.

  Yes, I would much rather that my mother deal with him.

  “I don’t want him to know just yet, though,” I say. “Please. He doesn’t need to know anything until I decide what to do about both Lyle and the baby.”

  “Of course,” she agrees. “It’s entirely up to you, Amanda. Just tell me what you want to do.”

  I pick up my tea and sip at it. The herbal brew slips down my throat soothingly, calming some of my nerves. I still have no idea what I’m going to do next, but I feel more in control, now, than I did when I first arrived here.

  “You really think I should talk to Lyle?” I ask.

  “I think so,” my mother says with a nod. “He can tell you why he kept his secrets and you can decide whether you want to continue seeing him or not. It’s entirely up to you.”

  “Yeah,” I say.

  Though I can’t imagine facing Lyle going very well. I would likely fold very quickly if I faced him.

  I shake my head. No, I’ll remain strong. Lyle has done wrong by me, even if he didn’t do it for all the malicious reasons that keep running through my head. But I do deserve an answer about what he was thinking. While he may not have outright lied to me, knowing that he’s the boss of the company that my father is competing with and that I’m currently working toward an alliance with is definitely something he should have told me right at the beginning of our relationship.

  “I just don’t get why he didn’t tell me,” I sigh. “Do you think he was afraid of what Dad would say?”

  My mother stares at me. There’s an odd little smile on her face, as though she knows something that I don’t.

  “I don’t think it was him being frightened off,” she says slowly. She shakes her head. “Just ask him about it, if you decide to talk to him.”

  I glance at her suspiciously, but I know my mother well enough to know that I won’t get any more answers from her. She’s always locked down very tightly when she has something she wants to keep hidden, a remnant from being the wife of a very powerful businessman back in their youth.

  “Fine,” I grumble. “I’ll see what he has to say. But his explanation had better be really fucking good.”

  I put my cup down. My left hand settles unconsciously on my stomach. It’s hard to believe that a tiny life is currently growing within me. A life that Lyle and I created, however accidentally. My child. Ours. I gasp.

  “I’m pregnant,”

  It’s like it’s only just hit me. I’ve known, since the test came back positive, that I’m pregnant. But sitting here now, thinking about it…it’s suddenly very, very real.

  “Yeah,” my mother says.

  She scoots over to sit beside me on the couch, and wraps an arm around my shoulders. Her embrace is warm and steadying. Tears prick at my eyes once more at the feeling of it, and this time I don’t think it’s because of pregnancy hormones.

  “We’ll get through this,” she promises. “I’ll help you through it. Even if you decide not to see Lyle anymore, I won’t leave you to go through this alone, alright?”

  I’m crying again. I didn’t realize just how much I needed to actually hear that. The thought of going through this alone is terrifying, but I won’t have to do that. This thought steadies me.

  I can face Lyle, I decide. I can hear what he has to say, and I can make my decision based on that. And if I decide to walk out, unsatisfied with what he says…

  Then I’ll be strong enough to do that, too. Because I won’t be alone in this, no matter what.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lyle

  Four days have passed and I’ve heard absolutely nothing from Amanda.

  At first, I thought she must be sicker than she wanted me to know, and that’s why she’s kept so quiet. At the end of the first day, I sent her a message wishing her goodnight and hoping, again, that she gets better soon. She never replied, but I just assumed that she was already asleep.

  My concern started to rise the day after, when she still hadn’t replied and didn’t reply, either, to the message I sent that afternoon asking how she was feeling.

  Then, yesterday, Brandon told me that he’d gotten a call from Amanda confirming that she would be back at work today. He’d said it quickly and dismissively, having no idea what that might mean to me. Apparently Amanda would be arriving at Energy Plus Co. this afternoon at some point.

  Of course, Amanda has no need to tell me that she’ll be here, because she doesn’t know that I’m here. But if she’s well enough to go back to work, then why hasn’t she at least sent me a quick message to let me know she’s fine?

  “Did you piss her off?” Alicia asks when I voice this question out loud.

  “No!” I say, offended. Then I pause. “I don’t think I did. I mean, I was probably a little overbearing when I forced her to go to the doctor by phoning her mother, and then I made the appointment for her…”

  “Then maybe she’s just trying to show you that she doesn’t need you to hover,” Alicia says with a shrug. “From what you’ve told me, Amanda sounds fiercely independent, and probably didn’t take kindly to having you do everything for her.”

  I grimace. I would love to agree with her. But Amanda isn’t the type to keep her thoughts to herself. If she was upset with me, she would tell me. The fact that she’s keeping her silence means that something is really wrong.

  I just don’t know what it is.

  “Should I message her again?” I muse.

  “If she’s keeping quiet, just leave her alone,” Alicia advises me. “If she thinks you’re smothering her, she’ll just back off. She hasn’t known you long enough to appreciate you being a mother hen.”

  I glare at her, not appreciating the moniker. Alicia simply grins back unrepentantly and turns back to her work. Grudgingly, I go back to my office.

  But I know Alicia is wrong on this one. Something isn’t right here, and I think leaving it alone is probably the worst thing I could do.

  With this belief in mind, I glance at the address that Amanda had texted me a week after we started seeing each other when she invited me around with a movie, dinner and sex and gave it to my driver. I’m going to go see Amanda and get to the bottom of what’s happening here.

  Amanda lives in a large apartment on the sixth floor of her building. She’s set it up nicely, but it’s clear that she only really spends time in it to sleep. When I went there last, work was strewn across the dining table, and files had been dashed over the coffee table in the living room. The only sign of any hobbies was a crime fiction novel laying on the couch.

  Would she be there today? She specifically told Brandon she would be back today, so she’s probably already been in and out of my company. I never saw her, of course, but Brandon already emailed me to say that they’d made some progress after the short break because of Amanda’s illness, and that he’ll write a full report up for me tomorrow.

  There is, of course, the chance that she might have returned to her own workplace to present her own report to her father. But Amanda has already joked, more than once, that she thinks having to wait does her father good, so she never gives reports until the next day. So, it’s likely she would have gone straight home.

  I hope, anyway.

  I’m a ball of nerves as I travel up to the sixth floor. I just know that something is wrong, and that it’s been wrong since the day she went to the doctor. Did she find something out there? Was she lying when she said she was fine?

  By the time I reach her door, I’ve managed to compose myself. All I need to do is talk to her and see what’s going on. After that, we can hopefully figure out what’s going to happen between the two of us.

  Before I can knock, however, it opens.

  For a moment, the woman in the doorway and I stare at each other, equally stunned to come face to face. I’ve never met the woman, but the striking green eyes in her face, so like her daughter’s, tells me immediately that this is Amanda’s mother, Marie Sanders.

  “Hello?” Marie asks, confused. “Who are you?”

  “I’m, uh, Lyle, ma’am,” I say respectfully. “I was wondering if Amanda was here?”

  Abruptly her expression changes. When we spoke on the phone the other day, when I told her how sick Amanda was and enlisted her help to get the stubborn woman to the doctor, she had been pleasant and kind. We’d joked around a little, and I hung up, feeling like I’d managed to make my girlfriend’s mother like me.

  Now, however, the look in her eyes is hard. It throws me for a loop, because I have no idea why she looks so unimpressed with me.

  “Lyle, huh?” she asks, looking me up and down. “I see. What are you doing here?”

  I’m taken aback. Now, more than ever, I know something has happened. I just don’t know what it is and how I’ve become the bad guy all of a sudden.

  “Um… I haven’t heard from Amanda, and I was worried,” I say, fidgeting slightly. I’m the owner of my own damn company, but Marie’s stare makes me feel like a little kid again. “I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”

  Marie’s eyes narrow and she scans me, looking for something. I don’t know what she’s looking for, but I unconsciously straighten my back anyway, swallowing.

  Then, abruptly, her expression softens. Whatever test that was, I appear to have passed it.

  “I knew it,” she says softly.

  “What?” I ask, puzzled.

  “Nothing,” Marie says, shaking her head. “Amanda’s inside. Go talk to her.”

  She pats me on the shoulder and walks past me. I stare at her retreating back as she heads for the elevator, completely confused. What the hell just happened?

  Then I shake my head. That doesn’t matter right now. What does matter is that I’ve just been allowed into Amanda’s apartment to talk to my girlfriend.

  I step inside and close the door behind me. I can hear some movement from the bedroom and I clear my throat, not wanting to startle Amanda.

  “You still here, Mom?” I hear Amanda call. I wait tensely as she walks toward me. “I thought you were going… Oh.”

  She appears from the bedroom, staring at me. She doesn’t look happy to see me.

  “Lyle,” she says blankly. “What are you doing here?”

  “Your mom let me in,” I say, feeling the need to explain myself. Why does she look so unhappy to see me? “I wanted to see how you were.”

  “Oh,” she says again. “I’m okay. Sorry I haven’t messaged. I’ve had a few things on my mind.”

  “It’s fine, you don’t need to explain yourself,” I say, shaking my head. “I know you’ve been unwell. I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”

  “Yeah,” Amanda agrees. “Much better.”

  We stare at each other as the silence grows. This feels very uncomfortable. It’s odd; it’s almost like this is our first time meeting. But, even then, it’s never been this awkward between us. Something big has changed without my notice.

  “So…” Amanda frowns. “My mother let you in?”

  “Yeah,” I say. I attempt a laugh. It rings hollowly in the room. “She almost didn’t let me in, but then she suddenly changed her mind. What was that about?”

  It was a subtle query about what, exactly, was going on, and how I had suddenly become enemy number one in their eyes. Amanda avoids looking at me for a moment.

  “Just a lot of stuff going on,” she says unconvincingly. “Look, did you want to stay for coffee?”

  “Are you sure?” I can’t help but ask.

  I don’t know if she actually wants me here or if she’s being polite. She looks startled at the question before she gives me a small smile. It’s nothing like the megawatt smiles I’m used to seeing from her, but at least it’s something. It makes something tense within me settle somewhat.

  “Yeah,” she says. “Take a seat and I’ll make coffee.”

  “Why don’t we skip coffee,” I say, suddenly feeling brave. “There’s some things we need to talk about, I think.”

  She gives me an unreadable look.

  “Yeah,” she says after a moment. “You’re probably right. I have a few things I need to tell you, too.”

  A pit settles in my stomach. So the doctor did tell her something important, something that’s hiding from me. I want to be upset that she’s kept this a secret, but I also know that I have absolutely no right; it would make me a terrible hypocrite since I’m still hiding my very identity from her.

  Hopefully not for much longer.

  Amanda comes around the couch and sits down. Her body is tense and that makes me worried. Is she expecting something to go wrong?

  “Did…something happen at the doctor’s?” I ask slowly.

  She glances at me.

  “Sort of,” she hedges. “The doctor just…presented a possibility that I wasn’t expecting. It was a surprise.”

  “So, are you healthy?” I ask.

  She snorts sardonically. I don’t understand the bitter twist of her lips as she answers.

  “Completely,” she says. “Just a little nausea and some fever.”

  I stare at her. None of this is making sense. If Amanda is completely healthy, then what’s been causing this odd behavior?

  “Are you sure?” I press. “Because…”

  “I’m fine!” Amanda snaps.

  I rear back. Okay, something is definitely wrong. But it’s equally clear that Amanda does not want to talk about it, especially with me. I hope she’s at least talking to Marie or, god forbid, Alan about it all.

  “Okay,” I say. I sit back and nod. “Alright, I understand. Look, Amanda, I think you’ve got some things to work through. Do you want me to go? I can definitely go; maybe it might help you.”

  She stares at me.

  “Why the fuck are you so perfect?” she whispers.

  That shocks me into silence. She scoots closer and I catch a whiff of her floral perfume. Lavender, I can’t help but think. I’ve always loved that scent.

  “It’s not fair,” she continues. “How the fuck am I supposed to make hard decisions when you’re making offers like that and reminding me why I like you so much in the first place?”