Ben sat up straight, drink in hand. “That and the fact that we’ve got no clue where the next piece is.”

  “Thanks for your help,” Chloe said sarcastically.

  Ben tipped his glass.

  “So, what is this grand quest?” Talbot asked. “What are we getting ourselves in for?”

  “What makes you think you’re coming along?” Chloe replied.

  Ben laughed. “You’re kidding, right? You think you’re going to go into a quest without us? We’re a party. Let’s bring the disco tunes and rave.” He danced with his arms in his chair, expecting a reaction from the others. When he got none, he added, “Whatever. You guys just hate fun.”

  “Look, we’re coming, whether you like it or not,” Jessie said.

  Chloe shook her head. “No. You need to be working on your skills and growing your levels. You need to be as pumped as possible, and this will only distract you guys.”

  Ben went on to tell Chloe that he was doing fine. After joining with a ranger squad that had spent most of the last few days in the small copses of trees around the lake surrounding Killink View, he had completed a series of quests that had bolstered him up two levels. He had also improved his skills in Archery, Tracking, Crafting, One-Handed Combat, and Long-Sight, a skill which enabled Ben to use his innate elven abilities to see farther than usual into the distance.

  Tag told the group how he had found himself drinking with a group of dwarves who were all training as berzerkers and tanks. They had climbed the slippery rocks around the bottom of the falls and spent long sessions holding their shields up to the water, repelling the falls and increasing their strength.

  They also spent time inside the surrounding caverns dug into the rock face, smashing rocks with their hammers and working their abilities. Tag had boosted his skills in Shielded-Blocks, Resilience, Reckless, and Heavy Combat, and had managed to acquire a brand-new hammer from one of the other dwarves who had accompanied them on their mission.

  Although he had gained no levels, the dwarves had promised a day of grinding against forest monsters the next day, which Tag was looking forward to.

  “Then go with them.”

  “No. I’m loyal to the group. I’d rather die than leave you.”

  “That’s so sweet.” Jessie kissed Tag’s cheek.

  Tag blushed.

  Talbot and Jessie told similar stories, with Jessie building her reserves of new materials, patching into the underground network of Killink View and discovering useful items and potions that would help them out in a tight spot.

  Talbot had networked, trying to discover as much about the city as possible. In the short time since Chloe had met Talbot, she had learned that his hunger for knowledge far exceeded anything his body was capable of. It was a useful skill, not that that would help them if danger presented itself.

  Chloe and Gideon, however, had been focused on practicing their craft. At every quiet opportunity during the nights, they would continually cast their spells until they had leveled up.

  Chloe had increased Purple Blaze, Healing Hands, Telekinesis, Volt Shock, and Ice Shard to the next levels, although she had been unable to work on Resurrection (for obvious reasons), Deic Light, or Aqua Orb. While waiting for her mana to regenerate, she snuck into the warriors’ training ground and pummeled the straw dummies littering their yard, growing several skill levels in her fighting skills.

  She now glanced at her character sheet, nodding in approval but wishing that she had at least grown a few extra levels somehow. It seemed that for Obsidianites, levels meant power, despite the other strengths a character might bear.

  “All that training and no one has heard anything about KF’s armor?”

  They all shook their heads.

  “Nothing at all?” Chloe probed. “Surely there must be someone here who knows something.

  Another series of shakes.

  She wracked her brain, trying to work out how they were going to get there. Granted, KieraFreya’s armor was a thing of legend, but that didn’t mean no one knew anything, right?

  “The quest?” Tag nudged, patiently tapping the top of his mug with his fingers.

  “Oh, right.” Chloe opened the quest and invited her party into the request to join.

  Quest unlocked: Opposite of Gods

  For the last few weeks, a strange phenomenon has been affecting Killink View’s mages. A shrine dedicated to the gods of the darkness has reportedly been seen to be surrounded by demons. These demons have been spilling into the daylight, threatening to enter the city.

  The guards have been vigilant, firing and deflecting the demons in their attempts to break into the city, but their arrows only keep them at bay. More must be done to eradicate this nuisance before the threat grows.

  Visit the Shrine of the Damned within the mountain’s caves, discover where the mages have been disappearing to, and uncover the source of the disturbance.

  Difficulty: 6/10

  Rewards: 5,000 exp

  Accept quest: Y/N

  “5,000 experience?” Tag whistled. “That’ll do. A nice chunk of gold for good ol’ Mr. Dwarf.”

  “That’s what I call him in bed.” Jessie giggled, leaning over to Talbot, who gagged.

  “All in?” Tag asked, ignoring Jessie’s comment and checking each member in turn.

  Ben scoffed. “That’s what she says in bed.”

  Chloe tried to stifle her laughter and failed. “Good, then if we’re all in, let’s get to work.”

  Tag suddenly looked concerned. “But it’s dark out. We’ll need to log off for a bit and come back.”

  “What?” Chloe said incredulously. “The guy who was telling us to hurry up needs a cat nap?”

  “Hey, I’ve got my sister and her new baby coming over, okay? Family obligations. It won’t take that long.”

  “A baby?” Jessie squealed, earning the attention of several patrons of the tavern. “How adorable!”

  Ben drained his drink and stretched. “Yeah, I’ll need to log off for a bit, too. I’ve got some friends coming over to play GTA IV. You know how it is.”

  “You’re abandoning us to go and play a game that’s so old it doesn’t even qualify as old-school?” Talbot asked, turning up his nose.

  “Hey! I’ve got a social life, too. It won’t take too long anyway. I’ll kick their asses, they’ll be sore, and I’ll be back before you know it.” He paused, looking at the ceiling. He pointed upwards. “Besides, shouldn’t somebody pay a little attention to our new friend? He’s been locked up there all day.”

  “Crap!” Chloe said loudly, smacking her head. “Blueballs!” She drained her drink and sprinted up the stairs.

  Chloe wasn’t sure what she would open the door to find as her hand clasped the knob. She had visions in her head of sheets slashed to pieces, upturned furniture, and feces and piss on the walls.

  For her thirteenth birthday, she had asked for a cat, and her parents had delivered—a surprise even to her. For the first few weeks, she had loved that cat to pieces, stroking it and cuddling it every chance she had—until one day she had come home to find her bedroom looking as though a twister had passed through.

  The stink was the worst part. Cat litter trays don’t smell great, more like a mixture of rotten cornflakes and the festering, rotten head of your worst enemy.

  Chloe had never forgiven Twinklebell for that episode, and just three days later—after discovering that the cat had also pissed in her favorite Louis Vuitton handbag—she gave the cat away to a sweet little six-year-old girl, not even thinking to tell the truth about what a demonic little shit the cat had been.

  All these memories came flooding back to her now. She slowly opened the door, wondering what Twinklebell would have done if she was eight feet taller.

  “Blueballs?” Chloe said, unnerved by the quiet in the room.

  The room was much the same as she had left it. The tables and beds were all in place. The sheets were tucked and smooth. The only noise was lazy snoring from the corner of the room where a mountain of blue fur rose and fell.

  Chloe placed a hand over her heart. “Oh, thank God.” She wandered over to the great lump, resting her head on the warmth of his fur. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to forget you.”

  Blueballs snorted, fidgeting for a moment before rolling over to Chloe and opening his eyes. They were as large as saucers since he was bred to see in the darkness of the forest. His breath had a sour smell to it, but it wasn’t anything Chloe couldn’t handle, not after the memory of Twinklebells.

  “You hungry, buddy?”

  Blueballs sat up. His powerful, muscular arms dangled loosely in his lap as he crossed his legs and watched her expectantly.

  “We should’ve called him Sully,” Gideon said, appearing in the doorway behind her.

  “I don’t get it.” Chloe dug a hand into her satchel, withdrawing a hunk of meat that she had purchased from a street vendor earlier that day.

  Gideon’s face fell. “You mean you’ve never seen Monsters Inc?”

  “That the one with the big green eyeball?”

  “It’s not just an eyeball. That’s Mike Wazowski. He’s a monster too!”

  The toffet gave Gideon a hard look, growling low before biting into the chunk of meat.

  “Aw, look. You’ve upset him. Don’t worry, Blueballs, you’re no monster.”

  “I can’t believe you haven’t seen it,” Gideon said, voice low. “It’s a damn classic.”

  As Blueballs ate, Chloe stroked his arm. The fur was dark, near enough black, but with a night-blue sheen. The stubby horns on his head she imagined could be useful in combat; they looked as cuddly and innocent as the horns of a ram. The fur was dense, almost wiry, but not enough to be painful.

  “He’s a curious creature, don’t you think?” Chloe said affectionately. “You don’t get beasts like this at home.” She gave him another hunk of meat.

  “Probably for good reason. Something like that’d be vicious in our world.” Gideon paused, studying Blueballs with narrow eyes. “Not to say he might not have a vicious streak in him now. You didn’t see him against the dwarves.”

  “I did,” KieraFreya chipped in.

  “Don’t remind me.” Chloe frowned.

  Gideon sat on the bed, swinging his legs. “What are we going to do with him?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, we can hardly keep him cooped up in here while we’re out most of the day. He’s a wild animal. He’ll need some roaming time. A chance to stretch his legs and be...well, an animal.”

  “I don’t know.” Chloe sighed, remembering the strange looks they had gotten when they had arrived in the city with Blueballs in tow. It had taken some convincing for the guards to allow him to journey with them. Ben had eventually found the smarts to lie and say that they were delivering the toffet to an animal expert for examination.

  Upon arriving at the tavern, they had managed to distract the staff and lead him through a back door, Jessie throwing the Shroud of No-see over him and the group running fast as a pair of dark-blue furry feet scurried through the back corridor and up the stairs to their room.

  “I suppose he could come out and join us on our quest?” Chloe suggested. “Seems unfair for everyone to be joining us and to leave this one at home. Who knows, he might come in handy.”

  Blueballs dangled a chunk of meat from one of his jutting teeth. The tendons swung and he tossed his head back, the meat flying into the air and going straight down his throat. He bashed his head on the window behind and then coughed several times, working the meat out from his throat, where it had stuck.

  Chloe jumped behind him and patted his back hard. The muscle was so thick and compact, it was like spanking a wall.

  “All better, pal?” Chloe asked, rubbing his back in circles.

  Blueballs grunted in confirmation.

  “Well, I guess it’s settled, then. Blueballs is coming with us.”

  Gideon gave a half-smile, having not warmed to the beast. “Great. Now to just wait until the others are back.”

  “Or…” Chloe said, a devilish grin spreading across her face.

  Chapter Forty

  Demetri hated city traffic. Every day, he sat with his head on his fist, elbow on the ledge of the car door, staring at the traffic jams that went on for miles.

  It hadn’t been so bad in his previous life, the part that he had come call pre-Mia. Back then, his journey had been simple. Step out of the door of his thirteenth-floor apartment, nod to the concierge, and head down the two blocks to the Lagardes’ building.

  Now, there was this, the constant battle against the other cars in rush hour as his heart thumped in excitement at the prospect of seeing the woman loved. Although the journey was hell, and the four-mile drive to the outer ring of the city was taxing, he still thought it was all worth it for her.

  Still, wouldn’t it be nice to be a little closer? To not have to share Mia’s tiny apartment and reduce the time it took to get to work?

  Maybe.

  He had thought about it a lot over the past few days. In the fleeting visits to his apartment for items he required for living, like suits, underwear, chargers, and such, he had sighed as he had seen the large, empty space. He was in love with Mia, there was no doubt about that. But there were several factors in play that made his head spin and his heart pound.

  The first problem was that he hadn’t spoken to Mia about them living together. Sure, he spent most of the time at her place between his hours of work, and sure, he slept in her bed more nights than not. But they hadn’t had any specific discussion about what that meant, and Demetri didn’t want to assume, going on the notion that their stay was simply a work arrangement and the lovemaking was a separate deal.

  The second and larger problem was that Chloe was all kinds of plugged in and set up at Mia’s apartment. They couldn’t move if they wanted to. Demetri had no idea what would happen if the power to the pod was disconnected, but he didn’t like the idea of trying it for the sake of convenience.

  A horn blared. Demetri realized the light had turned green and the cars in front had shifted.

  He waved an apology to the woman behind, who shook her head and fist angrily—city life, huh?—and drove ahead, arriving at Mia’s place some thirty minutes later.

  She greeted him at the door with that same bouncing smile that passed energy directly into his body. He kissed her on the lips, dropping his suitcase as his hand found the arch of her lower back. She placed her arms around his neck and pulled him inside, Demetri kicking the door closed behind them.

  They lost themselves in the kiss before Mia pulled away, face beaming, and excitedly said, “They’ve got a web store.”

  For a moment, Demetri was confused, his thoughts totally lost in the kiss as he allowed his blood to flow to the regular parts of his body. “What?”

  “Come over here.” She led him by the hand, pushing him onto the armchair, then sat on his lap and grabbed the laptop, pointing at a screen covered with a grid of squares and various pictures next to price tags. “It went live yesterday, but I just picked it up in the live chat. Someone has designed all of this.” She scrolled down, the list seeming to never end.

  Demetri’s eyes widened. They had everything on the webpage: t-shirts, mugs, phone cases, laptop decals, and posters, each one with some variation of the legend THE KIERASLAYERS. Alongside the legend were a series of cartoon drawings of Chloe and her friends in different situations.

  One t-shirt had an image of five adventurers and the wisp riding atop a caricature of a sandworm, each holding on and yee-hawing as though they were on a bucking bronco at a rodeo.

  Another had a red-cheeked Chloe blushing as one hand covered a (considerably oversized) pair of breasts while her other hand covered her lower region. The only item of clothing was her shining bracers, which sported a speech bubble saying, You couldn’t have just found my pants?

  On and on it went, with images of Gideon tripping over his own robe and another of Ben—clearly the heartthrob of the KieraSlayers’ audience—winking. There was one of Jessie reaching into a Mary Poppins-style bag, pulling out all sorts of items, including a live goblin by the ear, and some of Tag, a helmet low over his face, stamping his foot and rampaging as he held up his shield.

  But the key character, and the one that had clearly kicked off the success of the store, was the toffet, Mr. Blueballs.

  “There are so many of them,” Demetri exclaimed, scrolling down and seeing flash after flash of blue fur.

  “And they’re selling like hotcakes. Look at the comments section at the bottom.”

  Demetri did, seeing over two hundred comments posted in the last three days. Some of the latest including photos of teenage boys and girls across the US pointing at their various purchases displaying the great blue lummox.

  “This is crazy,” Demetri said, a grin on his face. “You don’t think we can get in on the action? Y’know, get a cut? I mean, they’re making money off Praxis’ product.”

  “That’s not how it works.” Mia chuckled. “We can’t just demand a cut of their profits. Maybe the legal team can.”

  Demetri smirked. “It is hella funny, though.”

  Mia raised an eyebrow. “’Hella?’”

  “A word I picked up from the kids in the chat. Ooo, that’s cute,” he said, pointing at the screen in an effort to change the subject.

  “Yeah? You like?”

  The image Demetri pointed to was of the toffet in full cartoon form, hands behind his head as he poked his hips forward. There were two crude outlines of furry testicles that were way out of proportion to his body. A caption beneath the toffet read Uh-oh, I’ve got blue balls.

  “Great minds think alike,” Mia said, taking over control of the laptop and clicking on the cart. She found her order history and they started laughing when Demetri saw that Mia had ordered a t-shirt (in her size and his), as well as a baseball cap with The KieraSlayers across the front.