The rumbling came from Evie, whose gaze was firmly on his aunt. She’d grown to the size of a tiger, and her body was quivering with tension as she prepared to mete out violent retribution. “Evie, don’t,” said Will weakly. “It wasn’t her fault.”

  Emory stared at Tailtiu in horror. “What did you do to him?”

  Will’s nose was reporting a variety of disgusting smells, for his body had voided itself from both ends, emptying his stomach and bowels. His only consolation was that the excess of revolting solids and liquids probably helped to conceal the smaller evidence of his orgasmic death. Sammy was already lifting his head, wiping away bits of his breakfast that stubbornly clung to his cheeks and lips. She’d made use of her new limnthal to summon something to use as a towel, and to his horror, Will realized it was one of her dresses.

  “Sammy, stop,” he protested, trying to push her hands away. “You’ll ruin your clothes.”

  His cousin ignored him, continuing to clean his face. After a minute, she turned to the others. “Does anyone have water? We need to rinse him off.”

  “We should move him first,” suggested Emory. “No point in trying to clean him until we do that.” He moved to stand just behind Will’s head and shoulders. “Get his feet, Samantha. This end is heavier.” They lifted him and took him to the other side of the platform, where Emory summoned a blanket to lay him on.

  “Do you know that cleaning spell he always uses?” asked Sammy.

  Emory shook his head. “That’s an eighth-order spell.”

  Sammy had only been exposed to first- and second-order spells thus far. “You can’t do it? I thought you graduated from Wurthaven? Did you learn anything useful, besides battle spells?”

  “I just haven’t devoted the time for it yet,” said Emory defensively. “It wasn’t my main priority during the war. I spent my time mastering the spells he wanted us to know.”

  Sammy’s gaze was unforgiving. “So, you’re useless. Just say that next time, it’s quicker.”

  “You have no idea how difficult an eighth-order spell is. There aren’t many who develop enough skill to use a spell like that, and most of them spend their time learning other things instead. There’s lots of simpler spells people use to clean things instead,” argued the young noble.

  Will’s cousin looked up at him again. “Yeah? Know any of them?”

  “A few.” Emory summoned a second blanket and used it to cover Will’s hips.

  She gave the nobleman a look of disbelief. “Don’t just drop it over him. Wipe him off. It’s a little late to worry about me seeing his twig and berries—I’m already scarred for life. Besides, this is family.”

  “But…”

  Will was so weak he could hardly keep his eyes open, but he felt a degree of empathy for Emory’s dilemma. Sammy’s mood brooked no delay, and the young nobleman’s hesitation earned him only scorn. Will would have preferred to be left alone entirely, but no one seemed to care about his opinion.

  “What cleaning spells do you know?” asked Sammy.

  “One for cleaning and shining boots, another for removing dust from clothes, but it won’t handle this. Neither is safe to use on a person. I have one spell for shaving, but that’s all it does.”

  Sammy left her position by his head and grabbed the blanket, granting Will a small amount of modesty. “Useless,” she repeated, using the fabric to clean something from his thigh.

  Emory let out a decidedly unmanly grunt of dismay as Will was uncovered. “Stop. I’ll do it.”

  “Shut up. You missed your chance,” snapped Sammy. “Do you have water? No? How about a container? Go melt some snow.”

  The noble disappeared from view, and Will’s eyes closed despite his best efforts. As he drifted away, he could still hear his cousin swearing quietly to herself, “Prissy fucking dandy-fop, the last thing I need right now is some primping little popinjay… Will, can you hear me? Will?”

  Will drifted away, his last thought being, Poor Emory.

  ***

  A fire was crackling nearby when he awoke, lending a cheerful sound to the air. The pillow under Will’s head was soft and warm but didn’t feel right. Sitting up, he realized it was Evie. Roughly the size of a large dog, she’d lain crosswise, and it was her belly he’d been resting on. Sensing his movement, she lifted her head to gaze at him, then put it down again, returning to sleep. Not far away, Sammy sat by the fire with her knees pulled up to her chin. Tailtiu and Emory were nowhere to be seen.

  The sky was grey, so Will asked, “What time is it?”

  Sammy’s head popped up from her knees, relief on her face. “Dusk, but at least you’re alive. Are you hungry? Thirsty? Let me get you some water.” She climbed quickly to her feet and moved to the other side of the fire where a clay jar sat with melted snow. Apparently, no one had thought to bring cups, since she cupped the liquid in her hands and held them out to him.

  Will summoned a wooden cup and gave it to her. “This will be easier.”

  Looking sheepish, she accepted the cup and filled it from the jar, then returned. Will drank the entire thing and then a second before pausing to say, “Sorry about earlier.”

  His cousin blinked, then rubbed her face with one sleeve, smearing a dark streak of unnoticed ash across her cheek. “Don’t apologize. We’re family. Remember when you carried me out of Barrowden?”

  That had been a dark day. The day most of her family had died. Will remembered getting her out, but he didn’t recall carrying her. “No.”

  “I do,” she replied, “so shut up.”

  Looking under the blanket, Will saw that what remained of his ruined clothes had been taken away. The smell that wafted up wasn’t great, but it was obvious that someone had taken a damp cloth to most of his body. He’d helped his mother do the same with her patients many times, so he had a fair idea of what his cousin had done. “Thank you. Where’s your dress?”

  She pointed to a pile of red fabric that had been cut into towel-sized sections. “That’s the clean half, in case we need more rags. The rest went into the fire.”

  “Tabitha gave you that one, didn’t she? I’ll replace it.”

  “It’s just a dress. You can buy me a dozen more—it doesn’t matter. You scared me half to death today.”

  “Can I apologize for that?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Wiping her face again, she unwittingly created more charcoal streaks across her nose and down the other cheek. “What happened?”

  “Tailtiu was dying. I didn’t realize it, but she doesn’t gain energy from her home anymore and she hasn’t been hunting either. I was trying to feed her.”

  His cousin’s face was a picture of disbelief. “With your dick?”

  “No! Hell no! I was giving her turyn, adapting it so she could absorb it. Why would you think that?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I cleaned you up, remember? Not only did she rip your clothes off but you had pickle juice all over yourself.”

  “Pickle-what?” He couldn’t believe his ears.

  “You heard me. Liquid silk, peter pudding, badger milk…”

  Mouth agape, Will exclaimed, “By the Mother, stop!”

  “…cum,” added his cousin with a malicious grin. “Personally, I prefer pickle juice. It seems more civilized than the other terms.”

  He’d heard a lot of terms for it while in the army, but badger milk was new, even for him. Shocked beyond belief, he asked, “Where did you learn all that?”

  She shook her head at his naivete. “I’m grown now, Will. Girls talk. Tabitha’s been an indispensable source of information too, not to mention having Emory around.”

  His face flushed. “Emory? Did he—?”

  Sammy laughed. “No. He’s too proper. Did I? Yes. There were a few times when he was getting a little tense, so I gave him a hand, as it were.” The look on his face gave away Will’s murderous thoughts, so Sammy quickly continued, “It was my idea. He argued a little, but not much. Don’t blame him.”

  Will sighed, then rubbed his face. He was learning things he’d never wanted to know, and his idealized image of his innocent younger cousin was gone forever. Letting out a slow breath, he responded, “I won’t do anything to him. He’s going to be family anyway, I suppose, so I should get used to the idea.”

  Sammy cocked her head to one side, puzzled. “Family?”

  “I couldn’t help but notice his accidental confession this morning. I assumed that’s what you talked to him about after I left.”

  She nodded. “I did, but not because I want to marry him. I was trying to keep him from breaking his heart.”

  Will scowled. “He’s already in love with you. I knew that months ago—didn’t you?”

  “No,” she answered sincerely. “This morning was the first I’d heard of it, so I figured I’d put my foot on the fire before it got any worse.”

  “Sammy, you were kissing him the other day, and that’s not the first time.”

  “I jerked him off too,” she replied baldly. “Doesn’t mean I want to marry him. Did you try to marry every girl who played friendly games with your little soldier? Be serious.”

  Dismayed, Will was almost speechless. “No. I didn’t! And no, no one’s played games with… by the Mother, what are you making me say? It’s only been Selene.”

  Sammy gave him a sly look. “You’ve been on campaign with the army, twice. Tabitha told me about the things that go on, the things the camp followers do for the soldiers.” She held up her hands. “I’m not judging you, though! It’s just life, and soldiers are under a lot of stress. What the camp ladies do is patriotic, to be honest, heroic even.”

  “Who are you, and what have you done with my Sammy?” asked Will.

  She frowned. “So you never…?” He shook his head vigorously. Switching tactics, Sammy asked, “What about Oliver?”

  She was referring to Annabelle’s child, the one she had claimed was Will’s and whom his mother was now raising as her own. “No! By all that’s holy, I already told you that. She was abused and forced into prostitution. I only rescued her. Have you been doubting me all this time?”

  “Not really,” said Sammy, shrugging. “But I figured I’d make sure since we were on the subject. So, Selene’s the only one you’ve been with?” He nodded. “Ever?” When he nodded again, she added, “Wow.”

  “Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?”

  “You’re going to live to be almost eight hundred, Will, assuming you don’t let one of the fae fuck you to death,” snapped his cousin. When he started protesting again, she waved her hands dismissively. “I know, I know. You’re a saint. You get the point, though.”

  Feeling thoroughly uncomfortable, Will replied, “What about you? Was Emory your first? What happens to him now?”

  She sighed. “No, dunce, I’m still a virgin, technically. I don’t want to wind up like Janice. I’m planning to wait until I can use the prophylaxis spell.”

  “And then?”

  Sammy snickered. “I’m not getting married, if that’s what you’re wondering. Thanks to you, I’ll live a very long time. If I do decide to have a family later, I’ll probably pick a non-wizard, someone who won’t be around to haunt me for centuries after we get sick of one another.”

  “That’s so—so cynical,” said Will.

  “I’m not a village girl anymore, Will. I’ve lived in Cerria. The queen is my cousin-in-law. I’ve been to parties and balls and seen how the well-to-do spend their days. I’m learning magic and I’ll live to be positively ancient. I’m not ruling out the possibility someone will sweep me off my feet someday, but right now? I just don’t see it happening, certainly not with Emory Tallowen.”

  Will found himself wanting to defend his other student. “He’s a decent man.”

  She nodded in agreement. “I wouldn’t have kissed him if I thought he was an ass. He’s better than most of the noblemen. Tabitha’s taught me a lot about them. Most of them think nothing of dalliances and secret rendezvous. I knew Emory was nicer than most, but I assumed he knew our little games were just—well, games.”

  “He’s dead serious about you, Sam, completely in love.”

  His cousin shook her head. “I know him better than you do, and we talked about it. He admitted he didn’t mean it seriously when I confronted him. He’s a little put out right now, but we both know where we stand.”

  You mean he was too afraid to admit to it after you crushed his hopes, thought Will. It was hard for him to fathom that his little cousin was now so worldly she was effectively blind to the young man’s devotion. Knowing he couldn’t convince her, he changed the subject. “You were pretty hard on him earlier.”

  “I feel bad about that,” she admitted. “I was scared to death you were about to die, and after we had just had that other conversation just an hour before—I let my annoyance go too far. I’ll apologize later.” She paused, then added, “Besides, you saw how he was. Even if he really was serious, I couldn’t marry someone like that. He’s too soft.”

  “He survived a war with me. He’s seen a lot of blood and death for his age.”

  “And he still turned squeamish when you needed help,” she countered.

  That was partly because you were there, thought Will. “Not everyone reacts as quickly, or grows up with an aunt who tends to the sick. I think you’re being too harsh.”

  She shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “Where is he anyway? And Tailtiu?”

  “Your fairy peter-pleaser disappeared while I was cleaning you up. Emory went off to collect firewood, although that was really just an excuse to get away from me.”

  Will gave her a hard stare.

  “I told you I feel bad. I’m going to apologize when he gets back, honestly.”

  Neither of them said anything for a while after that. Will retrieved the food Jeremy had planned for them to eat for lunch, and they filled their bellies. Studying Sammy’s tangled hair and stained face across the fire, he found himself smothering a smile. She noticed his expression and asked, “What?”

  “I love you, Sams.”

  She smirked. “After what I saw today, don’t try to hug me.”

  “I don’t even want to be in my own skin,” he admitted. Lifting his hand, he effortlessly constructed the runes for Selene’s Solution and held them in place so Sammy could see the spell’s full complexity.

  Fascinated, she studied the intricate globe of runes for a few seconds before asking, “What spell is that? It’s incredible.”

  “The spell you were bitching at Emory for not knowing.” Releasing it, he pushed enough turyn into the spell to cause it to expand around both of them, as well as the soiled blankets. The magic swirled around them, pulling dirt and filth from their clothes, hair, and skin. Even the tangles in Sammy’s hair were undone, leaving her tresses smooth and wavy. The spell wouldn’t style hair, but it did remove frizz.

  While she ran her fingers admiringly through her hair, Will added, “I spent a year working on it, among all the other spells I was practicing. I think I mainly kept at it because Selene created it. Not many bother to spend that kind of effort on a cleaning spell, but we grew up poor, so cleaning has an entirely different importance for us, since we had to do so much of it. Emory grew up in a different world.”

  “Are you still lecturing me about him?” she asked.

  “Probably.” A different question popped into his mind, though. “Earlier, when you said Tabitha taught you a lot about noblemen, what did you mean exactly?”

  A wicked grin spread across his cousin’s face. “Your sister is very wise in the ways of men.”

  Will groaned. “Do I want to know what that means?”

  “No. I don’t think you do.”

  “Should I be worried?”

  Sammy studied the sky, observing the first stars that had appeared. “A little.” She held up two fingers, pinching them close together with a small gap remaining. “This much? I told you she’s wise. If anything crazy happens, I’ll let you know who needs killing. Deal?”

  Summoning a spare set of clothes, Will began dressing so he could stop hiding under the blanket. Reluctantly, he agreed, “Deal.”

  Chapter 39

  Emory returned soon after dark, and Sammy did indeed apologize. Will tactfully chose that time to excuse himself and handle urgent biological matters. That didn’t take long, but he waited until their conversation tapered off before returning. When he came back, his two human companions seemed calm, so he took that as a sign all was well.

  Since the day was gone, there was little point in camping when they could sleep in warm beds, but Will wanted to check on Tailtiu before returning. He explained his intention to the others, and after listening to their inevitable warnings, he prepared to leave his body.

  Sammy leaned in at the last moment, whispering in his ear, “Keep it in your pants this time.”

  Emory was standing on the other side of him and couldn’t quite hear. “What was that?”

  “Nothing,” growled Will. “Just make sure I don’t fall over. I usually sit down when I teleport, but I think I can keep my balance now.”

  Still standing, he slipped partly out of his body and focused his attention on thoughts of Tailtiu. As he had hoped, he was able to find her without completely losing contact with his body. His surroundings had changed to reflect where his aunt was, but his physical self remained as a semi-transparent ghost within his perception, as though there were two of him. It was the same thing he had done before, but in the past, he had left completely and then had to find a balancing point between being away and present simultaneously.

  His aunt was in a tree, looking down over a gentle slope near the bottom of the mountain. Will was glad she was still in his world, for if she had been in the fae realm, he wouldn’t have been able to teleport to her. He would have had to travel in a more ordinary fashion, through a congruence point and then on foot. A gate would work as well, but that was a complex undertaking for him still.