He lost himself for a long, stolen moment in the sweetness of Alex’s mouth, his hands clutching Oren’s ill-fitting coat and the soft breaths that feathered across his cheek, but finally someone touched his shoulder and they broke apart with a regretful sigh.

  Oren looked for his mother, a few steps away. “Take care of him, Mom.”

  “Of course,” Flora said simply. “We’ll see you soon.”

  Oren looked at Mihai next. Mihai tipped his chin up, looking back, and Oren couldn’t help the smile. “You’re an incredible kid,” he said softly. “I see why Alex loves you so much.”

  And then the guard was there, pulling Oren’s arms behind his back and cuffing him, turning him toward the door. His last sight was Mihai and Flora with their arms around Alex, tears on his face as they watched him leave.

  19

  SIX MONTHS LATER

  “Let’s go, Acevedo, your ride’s here.”

  Oren looked up, startled. The guard standing in the doorway of his cell was one of Oren’s favorites, an older man named Larry, belly sagging over his duty belt and the hair he had left graying and sparse.

  “Is it that time already?”

  Larry rolled his eyes, hitching up his belt. “Like you haven’t been counting the seconds. Come on, let’s go.”

  Oren grinned as he scrambled to his feet and hurried to shove his few belongings into the bag Larry held out.

  It had been six months since he’d seen Alex without guards watching their every move, six long months of serving his time in the Huntsville prison, keeping his head down, writing to Alex every day and calling him every week without fail. Alex visited once a month, sometimes flying in alone and sometimes accompanied by Flora and Mihai.

  Alex sounded good during his phone calls too, telling Oren all about living with Flora, who’d immediately set about mothering them both properly, feeding them constantly and fussing over them in a way that Alex at least clearly enjoyed.

  Oren quickened his pace.

  “Slow the hell down, they’re not going anywhere,” Larry snapped, and Oren forced himself to match Larry’s ambling speed as they made their way down the cold concrete hall toward the front of the prison.

  “Hey, Acevedo, you leaving us? What’s the matter, we not good enough for you?” Sixpack was resting his muscled forearms on the bars of his cell door and grinning at him, gold tooth glinting.

  Oren blew him a kiss, making him laugh. “Not that you’re not great fun, Six, but I’ve got something better waiting for me.”

  Sixpack saluted him. “Good luck out there, amigo.”

  Oren grinned and sped up again.

  “Goddammit, Acevedo, I don’t get paid enough to chase after your ass,” Larry complained, but he moved a little faster, scanning his badge and pulling the door open as the buzzer sounded.

  In the front office, Oren impatiently signed every form shoved at him, craning his neck for a glimpse of Alex. The waiting room was barely visible from where he was standing; only a few empty chairs in his line of sight.

  “Missed one,” the jailer said, tapping the form in front of Oren with her pen.

  Oren signed yet again and finally, his belongings were handed over in a large plastic bag. Oren opened the bag and fumbled through his folded clothes until his hand closed around what he’d been looking for. He ran his thumb over the silky wood, smiling, and then pulled the carving out and shoved it in his pocket.

  Larry pulled the heavy door wide and gave him a lopsided smile. “Don’t let me see you back here, Acevedo.”

  “Larry,” Oren said fervently, “I hope I never see you again.”

  Larry’s laugh was the last thing he heard as the door slammed shut behind him. Oren looked around the waiting room, searching for blond hair, but he saw his mother first, inspecting the snack machine with a suspicious scowl.

  “Mom!” he said and she turned, her face lighting up.

  “Orlando, hijo, come here!”

  Oren laughed and scooped her into his arms, smelling her familiar scent, lilies and flour from the tortillas she made by hand every morning. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as memories rushed over him.

  “Ben always loved your tortillas,” he said.

  “I remember,” Flora said, patting him on the back. “Always stealing them, the little shit. Alex does the same thing. I guess you have a type.”

  Oren couldn’t help the laugh as he let her go. When he looked up, Alex was standing behind Flora, looking nervous.

  “Buna, Oren,” he said.

  Oren swallowed hard. “Hey,” he managed. “You look so good.”

  Alex had gained at least thirty pounds and there was color in his cheeks, his hair freshly cut and looking silky soft where it fell forward over his high forehead.

  “Oh, go hug your husband,” Flora scolded, shoving Oren forward.

  Oren took a step and Alex met him halfway, arms opening to wrap around him. Oren buried his face in Alex’s throat and took a shaky breath, gripping him tight.

  “I missed you so much,” he whispered.

  Alex’s arms tightened and then he let go to cup Oren’s face in both hands, bending to kiss him. Oren went up on tiptoe and their lips met in a soft, sweet slide. Alex tasted like apples and smelled like home, and Oren didn’t fight the tears that sprang to his eyes.

  When they separated, Alex thumbed a tear off Oren’s cheek. “Don’t cry.”

  “Happy tears,” Oren said, smiling and blinking them away. “Where’s Mihai? Did he decide to sit this out?”

  “I’m here,” Mihai said, materializing behind Alex’s shoulder. He’d gained weight too, expression still reserved as he regarded Oren, but his skin clear and eyes bright. “I would not miss this.”

  “I asked him to come,” Alex admitted, giving Mihai a smile over his shoulder, and Mihai’s face softened as he returned it.

  “Come on, let’s go,” Flora said, herding them toward the door. “You two lovebirds can catch up in the car instead of blocking traffic in here.”

  Alex was walking without a limp, Oren was delighted to see, his gait swinging and loose, and he gripped Oren’s hand tight as they walked, like he planned on never letting go again.

  Oren felt like he was walking on air himself, lightheaded with happiness, and he couldn’t stop smiling as they crossed the parking lot, hazy with summer heat, and reached Flora’s car.

  “Back seat, you two,” Flora said as she slid behind the wheel and Mihai got in the front seat.

  Oren obeyed, only letting go of Alex’s hand long enough to get into the car and then grabbing it again. A smile flickered across Alex’s mouth and he stroked Oren’s knuckles as Flora began to drive.

  “What time is our flight?” Oren asked.

  “No flight just yet,” Flora said. “Alex has something to show you first.”

  Oren looked at Alex, who smiled and offered no explanation.

  “So how are things with your therapist?” Oren asked instead.

  Alex lit up. “Good,” he said. “She is so nice.”

  “It’s a treat listening to them jabber at each other in Romanian,” Flora said over her shoulder.

  “And the video conferencing works?”

  Alex nodded. “Da. Yes, I mean. I use Flora’s computer, she set up it all for me.”

  “Mihai, how do you like her?”

  Mihai lifted a shoulder. “She’s fine,” he said without turning his head.

  Oren caught Alex’s eye and Alex sighed.

  “He likes her a lot,” he said. “She’s been good for him.” Sorry, he mouthed.

  Oren squeezed Alex’s hand and leaned forward to address Flora. “Mom, are you sure you won’t consider moving to Cheyenne when my parole is up? I’ll build you a house of your own close to ours and everything.”

  Flora snorted. “Maybe when I retire. Not just yet. Besides, I’ll have six months with you getting underfoot first. I’ll probably be well and truly sick of you by then anyway.” She grinned at him in the mirror.

  “Say the word and I’ll get the foundation poured,” Oren told her, grinning back.

  It was several hours before Flora took an exit on the outskirts of San Antonio, which Oren spent whispering to Alex and occasionally leaning across the seats to kiss each other.

  Oren looked up as the car slowed. “Mom?” They were nowhere near home.

  “You didn’t think we were going to drive all the way home, did you?” Flora asked. “That’s an eleven hour drive, you must be insane. Mihai and I are going to the airport, and you—” She pulled off into the bay of a hotel and parked.

  Alex was already in motion, pushing the car door open and scrambling out, extending a hand to Oren, still sitting in the backseat.

  Flora turned to face him. “It wasn’t my idea,” she said. “But I was happy to bankroll it. I don’t want to hear from you for the next three days, understand?”

  Oren swallowed guilt. “I'm sorry,” he said, his throat tight. “I left you for so long, and I know you worried—I wanted to write more, but I couldn't risk it—”

  “I knew you’d come back when you were ready,” Flora said. She reached over the seat and took his hand. “I won’t pretend I wasn’t hurt when you called and said you were married and could your new husband and brother-in-law come live with me while you went back to prison, but Orlando—Oren… I get it. And I fell in love with Alex five minutes after meeting him, I understand why you did everything for him.” She squeezed his hand.

  “Wait, so whose idea was it?” Oren asked. “Alex?”

  “No,” Alex said from outside the car.

  Mihai cleared his throat.

  “Are you serious?” Oren said.

  “Alex, let me help you with the bags,” Flora said, and hopped out of the car.

  Mihai swiveled in his seat until Oren could see his profile. He was staring at his lap, lips pursed as if trying to figure out what to say.

  “I hated you,” he finally said.

  Oren flinched but nodded. “I know.”

  “I wanted to think you took my brother,” Mihai continued. He looked up before Oren could respond. “I told myself you did, that you stole him from me.”

  “I’m sorry,” Oren whispered. “I didn’t mean to—”

  “What they did to us, in that place,” Mihai said as if he hadn’t even heard him, “it will stay with us the rest of our lives. You know that, yes? Our therapist says it will be ours forever. That we will never… be truly free of it, of the… horror.”

  Oren’s throat was tight but he managed a nod.

  “I have never seen Sandu so happy as he is when he’s talking to you.” There were tears in Mihai’s eyes. “I thought I would never hear him laugh again. But then I would see him on the phone with you, and you would make one of your stupid jokes—truly, they are so stupid—”

  Oren couldn’t help the laugh, even choked with tears. “I know, I’m sorry, I can’t help it—”

  “You gave me back my brother,” Mihai said, and the tears spilled down his cheeks. “And I repaid you by hating you.”

  “No.” Oren reached for him without thinking, and Mihai took his hand over the seat. “No, kiddo, that’s not what you did. And it’d be okay if you had. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry all this happened to you, that we couldn’t get to you sooner, that you went through it in the first place. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated and distrusted me forever. All that matters is you’re safe.”

  Mihai dashed tears away with his free hand. “I wanted to give you this. To thank you. For my life, and my brother’s life, and for what you did.”

  “I keep telling everyone, it was all Alex,” Oren said, but he was already reaching out to pull Mihai into an awkward hug with the seat between them. “Thank you,” he said against Mihai’s glossy hair, and Mihai sniffled and patted his arm.

  When Oren slid from the car, Alex’s smile was blinding. He leaned down to say something soft to Mihai through the window and press a quick kiss to his cheek, and then he straightened, holding out a hand to Oren.

  “We have nice room. A nice room. Come, I want to show you.”

  He towed Oren into the lobby of the gracious old building and Oren stared around him in wonder at the vaulted ceilings and marble floors. Alex didn’t give him much time to take it in, though, too busy tugging Oren between clumps of tourists to the elevator.

  There were several other patrons in the car, so Oren didn’t kiss Alex, who was so excited he was practically fizzing, bouncing on his toes in place.

  On the fifth floor, Alex grasped Oren’s hand again and took him down the richly carpeted hall to a room that he unlocked with a key in his pocket.

  Inside, the walls were papered in a rich yellow, the four-poster bed covered in a blanket of green and complementing yellows. Two mahogany desks stood against the far wall, bathed in light from the high windows.

  Alex looked suddenly shy. “Do you… like it?”

  Oren turned and caught him around the waist, pulling him close and making him yelp. “It’s amazing,” he said against Alex’s neck. “Almost as amazing as you.”

  Alex laughed, his head falling back, and Oren took the opportunity to explore the long column of his throat.

  “God, I missed you,” he murmured, kissing the smooth skin under his lips.

  “I am sorry I could not visit more,” Alex said, his voice suddenly serious. “I wanted to, but—”

  “Planes aren’t cheap and driving is worse,” Oren said, easing away. “And it wasn’t too bad, with the phone calls and letters. Oh, I have a present for you!”

  Alex looked startled. “For me?”

  “It’s not much,” Oren said, digging in his pocket, “and I didn’t have time to wrap it, not that it’d look any better wrapped, I’m a shit wrapper, anyway here—” Aware that he was babbling, he shoved the carving into Alex’s hands.

  Alex turned it over, running his finger over the grain of the wood, following the whorls. Oren had left the features blank intentionally, the slim figure of a boy leaned over a smaller boy and sheltering him with his arms showing more through suggestion and the natural curves of the wood than explicit detail.

  Alex took a step back, drawing Oren with him, so he could sit down on the bed, his mouth working and tears in his eyes. “It is me and… Mihai?”

  Oren settled next to him. “Remember I started working on it back in the house, but I wasn’t sure what it wanted to be yet? Well, it finally told me.”

  Alex ran a thumb over the featureless face of the smaller figure. “Thank you,” he said after a minute, lips trembling. “Thank you, Oren. I love it. I love you.”

  “Still?” Oren teased. “After all this time?”

  “Always,” Alex said. “Always forever, Oren.”

  Oren caught his breath and leaned in to kiss him. Tongues slid against each other, noses bumping and Alex’s breath puffing warm and soft over Oren’s cheek. What started out slow and sweet gradually changed to hungry and wanting, and Oren could feel himself hardening as they fell backward onto the mattress and Alex slung his leg over Oren’s hips to pull him closer.

  “Ah—fuck,” Oren managed after a minute. “Alex, honey, are you sure—”

  Alex nodded, his lips kiss-swollen and his eyes dark with desire. “I want you, Oren. Please? If—” He hesitated. “If you want me. Is okay if you don’t, I don’t—”

  Oren rolled to a sitting position and Alex followed suit, looking suddenly unsure.

  “I want you too,” Oren said, taking his hands.

  “But—” Alex ducked his head and looked at Oren’s fingers in his. “You said no sex. You said kissing was okay but not—if you don’t want… it’s okay—”

  Oren squeezed his hands and Alex faltered to a stop, taking a ragged breath.

  “It took me a long time to figure out what I was, how I identified,” Oren said. Alex watched his face, eyes somber now. “I… I wanted sex with Ben, but not at first. I thought he was beautiful, but there was nothing physical there, you know? But then we became friends, and then best friends, and one day I realized I wanted him so much I burned with it.”

  Alex nodded. “You loved him.”

  “So much,” Oren whispered, throat thick. “He was—yeah. Anyway, I was young and stupid and didn’t think much about it, and then everything… happened. It was years before I really thought about it again. I started reading about it. I think I’m asexual, at least… sort of? It’s called demisexual, sometimes. I don’t want sex until I have a bond with someone. Which is why, with you—”

  Alex’s eyes kindled with shy hope. “You do want me?” he whispered.

  “So much,” Oren said, smiling at him, and Alex leaned forward to wrap his arms around Oren’s neck.

  “I want you too,” he said against his ear. “I didn’t think I would, at first. But you would never hurt me, and I love you so much, and I want—I want everything with you. Yes? Please, can we?”

  “Far be it from me to argue with you having your wicked way with me,” Oren said, and kissed Alex’s nose before rolling away to stand up on the far side of the bed. He pulled his shirt off as Alex propped himself on his elbows to watch and Oren couldn’t help flexing a little.

  “You are… what is word?” Alex asked. “Bigger. Muscles?”

  Oren couldn’t help his laugh. “Not much to do in prison but work out and keep my head down—enjoy the muscles while they’re here, because a few months of my mom’s cooking and I’ll have lovehandles again.”

  “I like all of you,” Alex said seriously. “No matter what.” He patted his own belly. “I am almost fat, me. Flora’s fault.” He flashed a grin at Oren.

  Oren laughed outright and kicked his pants off to crawl back on the bed. “You’re adorable is what you are, pal. How come you still have clothes on?”

  Alex sat up and Oren knelt to help him pull his shirt off. He stopped to admire once his upper half was bare. Alex’s skin was soft and smooth, marred by a few scars here and there, but whole and unbroken, and Oren bent forward to press a kiss to Alex’s breastbone, no longer concave.