He shrugged. “No one knows everything, Dunleavy, not even you, and no one can do everything. Mulroney can’t be a Shield, and you can’t be a Runner. Let the Runners do their job. You concentrate on being a Shield.”

  “I can’t be a Shield without a Source, can I?” I said sharply.

  “That’s not exactly what I meant.”

  “So what do you mean?”

  “I’m not sure.” He pulled at his lower lip. “It’s all pretty weak, though, what they’re doing. Four fellows rent a carriage that’s going in the direction of Flown Raven, and they all flock off after them.”

  “And the Reanists in Shina Lake,” I reminded him. “And as you are always saying, Karish is an aristocrat.”

  “If either the Reanists or the heir were interested in him, they would have killed him. Abducting him makes no sense. It takes too much effort, and the risk of getting caught is much higher.”

  “So what are you thinking?”

  He grabbed my arm and pulled me close, lowering his voice as though he were revealing a secret. “It’s that crazy Source from Middle Reach.”

  “What?”

  “You said yourself he wrote to Lord Shintaro several times. He obviously really wants him.”

  I didn’t want to hear this, because I’d thought it myself. “Karish refused.”

  “So maybe this fellow decided to convince him.”

  I shot him a derisive look. “By kidnapping him?”

  “It makes more sense than the other two theories,” Aiden declared. “Reanists or a rival heir would want him dead. This Creol character probably wants to use him for something.”

  “How would kidnapping Karish convince him to do anything?” I demanded.

  “Maybe they’ve kidnapped him only to get him to Middle Reach, to talk to him. They might have him living in the lap of luxury once they’ve got him out there.”

  “But what would Creol want with Karish?” I asked, and the answer came to me on its own. As a Source without a Shield, Creol was impotent, with no place anywhere. So maybe he wanted influence. A favored Source, a future duke, Karish would have a lot of influence over a lot of people. I wondered again about the nature of Creol’s association. “I can’t see Creol kidnapping Karish. It’s too crazy.”

  “I thought he was supposed to be crazy.”

  “Not that crazy. And that’s only rumor.”

  “You would know better than I. I’ve never met the man.”

  I had, but only for a moment. Did it really mean anything, that one shared glance? Probably not. The glance I’d exchanged with Karish had had a lot more weight to it, and I still hadn’t known a thing about him.

  “You can’t go with the Runners,” Aiden said. “The captain’s threatened to toss you in jail if he thinks you’re interfering. Everyone’s going to Flown Raven. No one’s going to Middle Reach. Don’t you think it’s a least worth looking into?”

  I didn’t know. It was all so confusing and insubstantial. The jealous heir seemed a more reasonable explanation, but the letters from Creol were unsettling.

  I hated thinking. “It’s just so farfetched,” I complained.

  “It’s all farfetched,” he retorted. “The very idea of Lord Shintaro being abducted is farfetched. But here we are. And there are threats from a few different sources, and no one’s even considering the one in Middle Reach.”

  Because they thought it wasn’t worth considering. If they were even aware of it. And what did they know, really? They were fixing on Flown Raven for very little reason. Weren’t they?

  “I mean, Middle Reach is at least a possibility, don’t you think?” Aiden said. “Shouldn’t all the possibilities be considered?”

  The totally irrelevant thought that Aiden was really quite wonderful trickled into my slowly churning brain. He was no friend of Karish’s, but there he was trying to figure out the best way to bring Karish back to safety. I’d have to do something amazing for him when this was all over.

  “And Middle Reach is so much closer than Flown Raven. We could be there in a couple of days, look around, and be back before the Runners are even halfway to Flown Raven. We could probably catch up with them if we had to.”

  I cocked a brow at him. “We?” I asked. Not that I had a problem with him coming with me—I would like the company—but I hadn’t thought of it. He had a life in High Scape, and it wasn’t fair to ask him to risk it by getting involved in Karish’s murky personal life.

  “I will provide you with an excuse to be in Middle Reach, in case anyone asks,” Aiden explained. “I have family there. And Ryan and his friends can help us look around. They probably even know something about that association of Creol’s.”

  I didn’t like the idea of leaving High Scape right then. I felt it was the only place where I could possibly learn anything from the Runners. But Aiden had been right to imply that I was redundant there. I could ask questions, sure, but of whom that the Runners hadn’t already questioned? And what would I ask them? I couldn’t think of anything more than “Did you kidnap Karish?” and, if the answer was in the affirmative, “Where did you put him?”

  I’d be equally useless in Flown Raven, a remote city I’d never seen, filled with self-important aristocrats and slippery politicians. They would out-sophisticate me in two sentences and leave me standing there trying to remember my own name. And I didn’t know anything about Shina Lake except that it grew religious fanatics. Plus there was that threat of Mulroney’s, which I took seriously. I didn’t think I would like jail.

  But no one could accuse me of interfering with anything by taking a little holiday jaunt to Middle Reach. It was, as Aiden said, relatively close, and it would do no harm just to take a look. If nothing else came of it, at least I would learn something about Creol’s little association. It was certainly better than sitting in High Scape doing nothing but going crazy with worry.

  “Are you sure you’re up to traveling?” I asked Aiden.

  He didn’t actually smile, but he seemed pleased. “I won’t slow you down,” he promised, responding to the spirit if not the letter of my question. “When will you be ready to go?”

  “Tomorrow morning? Will that give me enough time to get everything I need?”

  “I’ll get everything.”

  “You will not,” I objected. “That’s my job.”

  “I’m not your Source, Dunleavy,” he reminded me with some sarcasm. “I know how to do things, and there are no roles each of us are expected to fill. And surely you have Triple S things to clear up before you leave.”

  Probably. And I had to admit Aiden was likely to have had more experience with planning trips than I. “I won’t let you pay for everything.”

  “I won’t. I’ll say I’m going with you so at least your gear’ll be free. If anyone gives me a hard time, then I’ll bring you around. How about we meet at my place by sundown?”

  “Sounds good.”

  I went back to the residence to pack. I had hoped no one else would be there at that time of day, and that I would be able to leave a note letting everyone know where I was going. Just my luck, LaMonte and Hammad were there, the Pair I least wanted to see. The feeling was mutual. LaMonte looked at me with some surprise and no pleasure. “Dunleavy,” he greeted me with formal courtesy. “Is there something I can do for you?”

  Of course there was nothing he could do for me, the supercilious old prat. “I’m going to Middle Reach,” I told him.

  The two men exchanged glances. “Why?” Hammad asked.

  “Have you been reassigned there?” LaMonte added.

  I searched his expression. Did he honestly think I could be assigned to Middle Reach? Or was he insulting me? I couldn’t tell. “There’s someone I have to see.”

  “This is personal business?”

  “It’s my business.”

  He didn’t like that. Too damn bad. He had no authority over me.

  Of course, I did work with the man. Or I had. I probably never would again. No sense in antagonizing him. Professional courtesy and all that. But I wasn’t sure how to tell him that I was gallivanting off to Middle Reach to play amateur Runner. What would he think of that?

  Who cared what he thought? “I think there’s something strange happening in Middle Reach, and I think it might have something to do with Karish’s disappearance.” Perhaps I should have told him the vacation story, but if there was something strange happening in Middle Reach, I thought there should be someone who knew about it. In case I was gone too long.

  He didn’t laugh out loud. Neither did Hammad, but then, he wouldn’t. “What sort of strange thing?”

  “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “Ever heard of Stevan Creol?” The look of distaste appearing on both men told me that they had. “He’s been in Middle Reach recently, he might be there right now, and he’s invited Karish to join him there.”

  That got a reaction. “To do what?” LaMonte asked.

  “To join some kind of association that he’s started. I don’t know much about it. I’ve talked to the Runners about it—” Actually, that wasn’t true. I hadn’t gotten that far. “But for now they want to concentrate on some information concerning Flown Raven and Shina Lake.”

  A sardonic smile curved LaMonte’s lips. “And they’re all wrong, so you’re going to go charging off in the right direction to save your Source and the day.”

  What was it with these people? I was in no way claiming to be a hero. That was Karish’s department. “I don’t know that they’re wrong. It’s just an option I want to look into.”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go off on your own.” That wasn’t genuine concern I was seeing, was it? “I’m useless here.”

  “I don’t know that Val would agree with you.”

  Surprise increased tenfold. A compliment? “He’s not a Shield.”

  “I believe all the Shields feel Miho overreacted.”

  Hammad nodded.

  LaMonte smiled again, and this time there was real warmth in it. “But, of course, they would.”

  Absurd how good that felt, validation from someone I didn’t even like. “All the Pairs on the roster are fit and ready to do their jobs. There’s nothing for me to do here. I’ve got to do something.”

  “Aye, I imagine you do,” LaMonte said with resignation. “But are you really going to just swan off without getting permission from the Triple S?”

  “What, send off a message and wait for a response? That could take weeks.” Or months. And chances were excellent permission would be denied.

  “It’s the proper thing to do.”

  “Aye, but is it the sensible thing to do?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Must you have an answer to everything?”

  “I’d hardly be the all-knowing omnipotent being that I am if I didn’t.”

  I didn’t know the act of holding onto one’s patience could be a visual spectacle. It was kind of interesting to watch.

  “I have to do something, LaMonte. I know it’s abandoning my post, but I’m unfit for duty without my Source, aren’t I? And I can’t just sit here doing nothing. I mean, could you, if your Shield were taken?”

  “Never flitting, still is sitting,” said LaMonte, which of course meant nothing. “Kenton”—Hammad—“would never get himself abducted.” Which was truly one of the stupidest things I’d ever heard anyone say. “But I suppose I see your point.”

  I nodded. “So please say bye to everyone, and I’ll see them soon.”

  The third smile in a row. Get the almanac. “I take it you don’t plan to be long,” he said dryly. “That sure of yourself, are you?”

  “Of course.” Being unsure of oneself never got anyone anywhere.

  “Good luck.”

  Aye, I’d need it.

  I studied some maps of Middle Reach and the surrounding areas, just because I thought I should. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but studying maps seemed like the thing to do before heading off on a journey. I packed a bag, mostly drab, comfortable clothes. Then I went to Aiden’s house, long before we’d agreed to meet. Turned out I hadn’t had much to do after all.

  Aiden was a wonder and a treasure. In less than a day he managed to arrange for horses and gather all the supplies he claimed we would need. He had been to Middle Reach many times before; I had to trust he knew what he was doing.

  I spent the night at Aiden’s house, on the settee in the living room. I was too afraid to sleep. Because the truth was that I wasn’t sure of myself at all, not in matters that had nothing to do with either Shielding or dancing the benches. Anything outside those two areas left me ignorant and helpless.

  Don’t think about it. Stay calm.

  We left High Scape at the crack of dawn. Not my version of dawn, which was maybe a couple of hours before midday. Real dawn, before the birds had begun to sing. I felt oddly isolated as Aiden and I dressed and ate and rode out in preday silence. Isolated and afraid. For the first time in a great many years I was striking out without the protection of the Triple S, without the company of even a Source. It left me feeling weak and vulnerable. I hated that.

  Karish had better appreciate it.

  Chapter Eighteen

  It was the worst week of my life.

  Yes. Week. The trip that was supposed to take a couple of days ultimately ended up taking a week. For all his promises that he wouldn’t slow me down, Aiden did. And I couldn’t get angry at him. Because he was coming as a favor to me, and he would ride until he was white and trembling with pain, and all I could do was bite my tongue. Hard.

  And during that unending week, I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Karish, and then I, might die. At any time. In an instant. I couldn’t stop thinking about that for a single moment of any day and much of the night. My brain spun with the knowledge, relentlessly.

  When I could sleep, I had nightmares. Dreams of being swallowed up in the earth, screaming. Dreams of suffocating. Dreams of being lost. Dreams of being left behind. Dreams of blood showering from the sky.

  There was something wrong with my training. Some lapse somewhere. I wasn’t supposed to be so afraid. I’d have to do something about it when I got back to High Scape.

  I controlled it as best I could. I kept my horse plodding onward into what I’d begun to think of as a great, fatal wasteland. I forced myself to eat, though I could manage little. I kept a level voice at all times, and I smiled when Aiden tried to be funny.

  But early one evening, when Aiden had given up for the day, I lay on my back and looked up at the darkening sky and realized I wanted to leave Aiden behind. That was horrible, and I was heartily ashamed of myself, but damn it, this was a nightmare. I should have been there by then.

  I pulled in a deep breath and blew it out slowly, releasing my impatience with it. This was the time to stay calm.

  “I know, Dunleavy,” said Aiden. He had his leg stretched out on the ground, and he was massaging the knee. At least he’d regained some of his color. “And apologizing doesn’t begin to cover it. I don’t know what to do.”

  “It’s not you.”

  “Of course it is.”

  “I mean it’s not this”—I gestured vaguely, indicating the delay and being out in the middle of nowhere—“that has me a little . . . temperamental.”

  “Temperamental,” he echoed with a faint smile. “Couldn’t bring yourself to say ‘upset,’ could you?”

  I ignored that. “It’s just everything.”

  “What, life in general?”

  I sat up and rubbed my feet into the ground, enjoying the prickly hardness of the grass against my bare soles, and I thought about that. “Aye,” I admitted with some surprise. I hadn’t really thought of it that way. “Ever since I was Chosen everything has been so chaotic, one thing after another. And I don’t like it. I’m not suited to it.” Life at the academy had been so peaceful. “I never wanted adventure, you know. I wanted a nice steady Source and a nice steady life. No excitement, no drama, nothing to sing about. But here I am, in the middle of this”—I searched for an appropriate word and had to settle for—“intrigue.”

  He smiled with a total lack of sympathy, which wasn’t surprising. He did seek adventure. “You lie,” he said, and that was surprising. “You could never be so staid. You just say that sort of thing because wanting adventure seems too immature to you.”

  “I think I know my own mind,” I said coolly. I hated it when people tried to tell me what I thought, as though they had some unique perception into me that I lacked.

  “Huh.” He sounded unconvinced. “Well, I always wanted adventure. I wanted to travel all over the world. I wanted to dance, to be the best dancer this world has ever seen. I wanted to dance for the Empress. I swore she would be so entranced by my skill that she would fall in love with me and offer me gold and jewels and everything I wanted. And the minstrels would sing about me, and apprentices would come from all over to beg me to be their master.” As suddenly as the light in his eyes had appeared, it faded away, and he shrugged. “Plans change. Dreams change. Or they don’t work out. Usually it’s for the best.”

  Guilt was a waste of an emotion. “Isn’t the Empress sixty something?”

  “Aye, I believe so.”

  “And you want her to fall in love with you?”

  He grinned. “A wealthy woman is forever beautiful.”

  I repressed a snicker, barely. “Amazing what money can do for a person.”

  “Aye, it is.”

  I saw movement, off in the direction from which we had been riding. I watched it, and it grew larger, and it turned into a rider. “Someone’s coming.”

  He turned, and we both watched the rider approach. When it looked like the horse was heading straight for us, I rose to my feet and wondered what I was going to do if there was any trouble. Aiden was in no shape to fight, and I didn’t know how. Something I’d have to remedy someday.

  As the rider drew near I saw she was a woman, and I relaxed. I saw the white braid on her left shoulder, and I relaxed a little more. She was a Shield.

  She was a pretty thing, maybe ten years older than I. Bright green eyes, long chestnut hair, good cheekbones. Karish would have approved.