“On my way there.”

  Her façade cracks a little, her eyes now shining with worry. “Oh, Cam. You had a rough go of it today.”

  “Bad,” I agree with a nod, taking a giant swallow. I just want to forget tonight. Forget my troubles and the stress and the worry. Just focus on getting shitfaced and spending the night with this pretty girl sitting next to me. Will she let me lose myself in her? Just for a little bit?

  Fuck, I hope so.

  “You played great in the last quarter,” she says, trying to turn a negative into a positive.

  “Thanks.” My voice is clipped and I feel like a dick, but there’s still sympathy in her eyes, so I didn’t totally fuck it up.

  Yet.

  “What do you need from me?” she whispers, her hand settling on my thigh, warm and reassuring.

  “Nothing.” I meet her gaze, hoping she sees how serious I am. “Just having you here sitting next to me so I can look at you is enough.”

  Her smile turns tremulous and she squeezes my thigh, leaning in slightly so she can murmur, “I wish we were alone.”

  “Me too.” I pause. “I’d kiss you if we were.”

  Her cheeks turn pink. “How long do you have to stay?”

  “I can leave whenever the hell I want.” I announce this loudly, causing a few heads to turn in my direction. “You ready to go?”

  An awkward laugh escapes her, and when no one is paying attention to us, she rests her finger against her pursed lips. Damn if that doesn’t make me want to lean in and kiss that pretty mouth of hers, right here in front of everyone. Fuck it.

  I sway toward her, my head swimming from the beer, and she presses a hand against my shoulder, keeping me from getting any closer. I know exactly what she’s doing and she’s only respecting my wishes, but that hurts too.

  “Let’s go,” I practically growl in her ear.

  She shakes her head, refusing to look at me, her nails digging into my thigh. Good thing I’m wearing jeans or she might draw blood. “You’re trying to cause a scene, Cam, and that’s not like you. Let’s get you to calm down first and then I’ll go. A few minutes after I leave, you can leave too and come back to my place.” Her head angles toward mine. “Okay?”

  Leaning back in my seat, I nod, settling my hand over hers and giving it a squeeze. I don’t mean to be a dick. I’m just frustrated with myself and a little drunk.

  Doesn’t help that I consume more beer, despite the disapproving looks Blair sends in my direction every time I take another swig. I choose to ignore her, polishing off my fourth beer and finally forgetting all of my troubles regarding the game.

  Now I’m just flat-out drunk. And more than a little sloppy.

  “Should we get an Uber?” I whisper to Blair, needing her to talk to me. She’s too busy laughing over something Derek says, and I tell myself not to act like a dick. He’s got a girl with giant tits sitting on his lap, who’s totally into him. He doesn’t give a damn about Blair.

  Yet, I’m jealous. I see green on the edges of my vision and I feel like slinging my arm around Bair’s shoulders and hauling her into me, proclaiming to everyone that she’s mine.

  She belongs to me.

  But my girl barely glances in my direction, whispering out of the side of her mouth, “I drove myself here.”

  “Are you sober?” I burp. Loudly.

  Blair winces. “Someone needs to be.”

  “I thought you were drinking?”

  “The same someone also has to drag your drunk ass out of here,” she drawls.

  Derek perks up and I realize that he heard her. “You brave enough to give Fields a ride home, Blair?”

  Blair blinks at Derek, her body going stiff. Like she’s embarrassed we just got caught talking about it. “Um, yeah. My brother asked me to.”

  “She’s such a good sister, don’t you think?” I ask Derek, leaning over Blair and giving into my urges, sliding my arm around her shoulders and giving her a squeeze. She tenses beneath my touch, but I don’t give a damn. “The perfect little sister to Maguire.”

  She says nothing, her body language screaming I’m extremely uncomfortable, but I choose to ignore her vibe.

  “Blair’s pretty great,” Derek says, and my heart turns black at his words.

  “What do you know about her?” I’m growling. Feeling territorial. Glaring at Derek like I want to tear him apart with my bare hands.

  “Whoa, calm down there, buddy. I’ve got someone to distract me already. Right, Sheena?” He looks at the girl in his lap with the giant tits.

  “It’s Sheila,” she corrects him, wrapping her arms around his neck and practically shoving his face in her cleavage. “And yes, baby. I’m here to distract you all night long.”

  They laugh and kiss, not trying to hide their interest in each other, and I’m jealous yet again. Everything makes me jealous tonight.

  “You’re being a jerk,” Blair tells me, shrugging my arm off her shoulders and shoving my hand off her thigh. Like she doesn’t want me touching her. “You need to calm down before people start getting suspicious.”

  “Suspicious of what?” I play dumb on purpose and she scowls at me, slowly shaking her head.

  “You’re acting like a child.” Before I can stop her, she rises to her feet, staring down at me with disappointment written all over face. “Get your shit together, Fields.”

  She leaves, and I watch her retreating form, feeling like an absolute dickhead.

  “Hey, baby, go get me a tequila shot.”

  Sheila pops up off Derek’s lap, snatching the twenty-dollar bill from his fingers. “Sure thing, sexy.”

  We both watch her head for the bar, Derek turning to me the moment she’s out of earshot.

  “What’s the deal with you and Maguire’s sister?”

  “Nothing,” I say too quickly.

  Derek snorts. “Fuckin’ liar. You got a thing for her?”

  “No.”

  “She got a thing for you?”

  “Possibly.”

  “You kiss her yet?”

  I remain quiet.

  “Fuck her?”

  The look on my face must say it all. Derek whistles low, slowly shaking his head. “You’re in serious trouble, my dude.”

  “I don’t need your input if you’re just going to sit here and make me feel like shit.”

  “Just stating facts, bro. You’re gonna get in over your head. Actually, I think you’re already there. That girl is sweet. And a Maguire. She’s not someone you just casually mess around with.” Another low whistle. “Her daddy is a fucking professional, man! A legend! And her brother is your best friend.”

  “Thanks for telling me what I already know.” I reach for my beer, realizing too late that it’s empty, as only drops hit my tongue when I try and drink from it. I set it on the table with a loud thunk. “There is nothing going on between Blair and me.”

  Derek’s brows shoot up, the doubt written all over his face. “Keep telling yourself that.”

  Blair doesn’t come back to the table. Sheila reappears carrying two tequila shots, and Derek nestles his between her tits, grabbing it with his lips and tilting his head back to swallow it while she laughs and laughs. I just scowl at them the entire time, annoyed with their antics. Even more annoyed with their freedom to do whatever the hell they want with no judgment, except from me.

  But right now, I don’t count because I’m just a jealous fuck who wishes he could be as free as they are. But I can’t.

  Worse? There’s no one to blame. I could say it’s Knox’s fault but that would be a lie.

  It’s my fault too.

  After about thirty minutes of me sitting there talking to no one and not drinking anything but water, I finally get up from the table to go use the bathroom. I make my way through the thick crowd, nodding and smiling at everyone who greets me as I pass by, noting that most of them are women. Women whose gazes are full of interest. Who give me a full body scan with their eyes, like they’re thoroughly checking me out.

  In the past, I would’ve chosen the cutest one and singled her out. Made conversation with her. Brought her back to the table, much like Derek did with his chosen one for the night. I would’ve flattered her and flirted with her and touched her here and there. On the arm. Her leg. Maybe even her hair. She would be totally into me and I’d be into her and I’d bring her out to my car and let her do whatever she wanted to me. Usually a blow job.

  Most of the time, I wouldn’t give them anything in return because I’m selfish like that. They never complained. But they’d always leave with the hope that I would reach out again. They’d give me their phone number and practically beg me to hit them up sometime.

  I never did. Most of the time, I’d delete their number and forget all about them. I was a dick.

  I still am.

  But I’m not tempted to do any of that tonight. I hate how they check me out. I hate the way they make a simple word like, “hey,” sound suggestive. As if they look at me and think of only one thing. It makes me feel used.

  And I’m the user in this situation. I’m aware of what I am.

  Damn it, Blair Maguire has really fucked with my head.

  After I handle my business, I’m walking out of the bathroom when I spot Blair standing at the bar, talking with some random guy. I go completely still, my focus only on Blair. The faint smile on her face, her friendly expression. She’s completely open to what this guy is saying to her and I hate that.

  I should walk away. Let her go. Find my own ride home and deal with the consequences later.

  My gaze shifts to the guy who’s talking to her and I realize it’s not just some rando.

  It’s fucking Ace.

  TWENTY-NINE

  BLAIR

  It’s downright refreshing, getting away from the brooding, angry Cam for a bit. He’s drunk. Miserable. Grumpy. Also a little…

  Jealous?

  Yes, definitely jealous. Which is surprisingly thrilling, I can’t lie.

  But his mood is spreading like a dark cloud over me and I don’t want to end up mad too. Especially at him. Though I was before I arrived at Logan’s. I didn’t like how he just ignored me after the game, though I also knew that he was hiding after playing so poorly. Licking his wounds.

  Cam is moodier than usual, thanks to how much alcohol he’s consumed tonight.

  Not sure I approve of the drunk version of Cam either, but he’s not a big drinker overall, which is a good thing from what I can tell.

  This is why I gave myself—and him—some space. I chatted up my brother and Joanna for a little bit, but I could tell they wanted to be alone so I left them. Found my roommates and ignored Cheyenne’s pointed remarks. Decided to grab myself a soda so I look like I’m drinking something and ended up running into Ace.

  I like him. He’s sweet, friendly and so excited about everything. He’s also smashed but friendly about it. Like right now, explaining to me exactly what happened on the field when he threw his first touchdown.

  “Swear to God, the ball pretty much slipped out of my fingers a little early and I thought I fucked it all up. The terror that ran through me.” Ace shakes his head, his hair flopping with the movement. “If I threw an interception I was done for.”

  “You would’ve been dead in the water,” I agree with a nod.

  He sends me a look, his head tilted as he contemplates me. “I forget that you come from a long line of football players.”

  “I do.”

  “That’s so…unbelievable.” He sounds awestruck.

  “It’s just life.” I shrug. “I don’t know anything different.”

  “That’s wild to think about. You just…grew up going to NFL games. Do you go to any now?”

  “I’ve been to a couple. Mostly just to watch my cousin. It’s kind of weird when you think about all of the professionals I’m linked to now.”

  “Guess it just runs in the family.”

  “More like some of my family end up falling in love with football players.” I frown the moment the words leave my lips. Do I know Cam well enough to think I’m actually in love with him? I like him. I’m attracted to him.

  I care about him. A lot. My heart ached for him during the game. I know he was frustrated with himself. He wasn’t playing well, and I know that had to have been hard on him. All I wanted to do was comfort him, but from the way he’s currently acting, he’s making it difficult.

  “What the fuck are you doing?”

  Oh God. Speaking of Cam…

  Both Ace and I turn our heads at the same time to find Cam standing in front of us, his hands clutched into fists at his sides, his expression about the meanest I’ve ever seen him look. He is…furious.

  But why?

  “Who are you talking to, buddy?” Ace is trying to keep it friendly and I’m grateful for it.

  “You.” Cam turns to stare at me. “And her.”

  “We’re just talking,” I start, reaching for Cam, but he jerks his arm away from me, taking a step backwards.

  “First you come for my position and now you’re coming for her? This is some bullshit.” I shift in between Cam and Ace, pressing my hands against Cam’s chest to keep him from lunging toward Ace. “Stay away from her.”

  “We’re just friends, QB. Don’t worry.” Ace throws his hands up in the air, confusion written all over his face. “I’m not interested in Maguire’s sister. That’s way too risky.”

  My heart sinks at Ace’s words. At the way they sink into Cam’s brain, as if he’s having that same realization. That yes, being with me would be too risky.

  Damn it.

  I practically drag Cam from the bar and toward the front door. He tries to tug out of my grip, though weakly. “Where are you taking me?”

  “We need to leave.” I send him a look. “You need to sober up. Go to bed. Whatever.”

  He lets me lead him out of the bar, plenty of people cheering him on when he walks through the door. He raises one fist in victory, earning more cheers, and I sort of want to bop him upside the head.

  Luckily enough, I was able to find a parking spot relatively close to the entrance, so I hit the unlock button on my key fob, guiding Cam toward the passenger side door.

  “You driving me home?” he asks, slinging an arm around my shoulders and leaning heavily into me.

  I nearly sag under his hold. God, he’s heavy. “I told you I would.”

  “Right. To help Knox out.” He’s sneering. It’s not a good look on him. “Such a good sister.”

  “I’m not doing this for Knox.” I open the door and shove him inside, pleased when he falls into the seat with a startled expression on his face. Like he can’t believe I just pushed him around. “I’m doing this for you.”

  I slam the door before he can say anything and take my time walking around the car, inhaling deeply with every step. I get a tiny thrill out of him acting so territorial over me, but it’s also irritating. He’s just drunk. Sloppy. Emotional. But it’s also…

  Kind of awful.

  Finally, I’m in the car and starting the engine, not saying a word. He remains quiet as well, staring out the passenger side window once I start to drive. We don’t speak at all, the tension growing between us so thick that by the time I pull into the parking lot of his apartment, I’m ready to scream.

  “I’m sorry,” he murmurs after I put my car into park.

  I stare at the back of his head because he’s still looking out the window. As if he can’t face me. “For what?”

  “For all of it. The whole night.” He turns to look at me and I see the remorse written all over his handsome face. “It was a shit day and I turned it into a shit night and…I’m sorry.”

  I get this sense that Camden Fields doesn’t apologize for much. Not because he doesn’t want to or has a hard time saying the words, but because he’s the type of guy who just does things and doesn’t have to answer to anyone. He keeps his circle extremely tight. And somehow…

  I wormed my way in. Just like I hoped.

  “I drank too much and I rarely do that. Not anymore.” He inhales deeply, averting his gaze, so he can stare out the windshield this time around. “I was pissed when I saw you with Ace.”

  “I don’t like Ace like that.”

  “I was mad at Knox too.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he can do whatever he wants with Joanna and doesn’t have to worry about someone else finding out and losing their shit over it.” He sounds miserable and my heart aches for him.

  For me too.

  When I say nothing—because what can I say to that?—Cam continues talking.

  “Derek can be with whomever he wants. Everyone can. And I can’t.” He bangs the back of his head against his seat, closing his eyes. “I don’t like how I feel when I drink.”

  “And how do you feel?”

  “Like I’ve lost control. Like I’m marinating in my feelings and it’s freaking me out.” He turns his head, cracking his eyes open to look at me. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “Cam—”

  “I don’t. I’ve told you this before and I’m realizing it right now. All over again. Especially with everything that’s happened. You’re like…fucking perfect for me and I’m not for you. I’m far from it. All I’ll do is break your heart. You know what scares me?”

  “What scares you?” I ask gently, trying to keep up with him changing the subject.

  “That I’ll turn into the same piece of shit my dad is. He’s a drunk. An alcoholic who cares about no one else but himself. That’s going to be me.” He jerks his thumb at his chest, tapping it right in the center. “I’m afraid I’m going to turn into him and it fucking sucks.”

  “You won’t.” I give in and reach out to thread my fingers in his hair at his temple, wanting to soothe him. He doesn’t react. He doesn’t even flinch. “You’re not like him. You’re kind and you’re good. You’re a great leader. Your team adores you.”

  “Not today.” He presses his head against the seat and I feel like I’m witnessing the real Camden. The man who feels the weight of so much responsibility on his shoulders, and who struggles with it. Struggles with himself. He’s not as cocky as my brother is, not really. It’s a quiet confidence that radiates from Cam, but that’s not happening today.