Amy exuded a natural sex appeal while looking like a delicate fairy. It was a hell of a combination.

  Her cheeks turned bright red. “I’ve kissed several men. Gotten a little hot and heavy.”

  Etienne growled, hating the thought of another man having his hands on her.

  She shot him a glare. “Don’t tell me you’re a virgin. I won’t believe it.”

  She wasn’t wrong. He’d sown some wild oats in his late teens and early twenties. All casual and mutually satisfying, but there’d been no one for a couple of years now. “I won’t lie. I’ve had women, but not for a long time now.”

  “Why not?”

  He shrugged, not exactly comfortable talking about this with her. Best to suck it up and get it done. “The encounters were mutually sexually satisfying but left me empty. They were all human. I couldn’t connect with them on anything but a superficial level. They were all missing something.” It had taken him a while to figure out what that was.

  “What were they missing?”

  He swallowed heavily, his voice hoarse with suppressed desire. “They weren’t you.”

  She made a small sound of pain and turned from him, pacing away. Etienne wanted to grab her, but he figured it was best to finish this conversation now so they never had to speak of it again.

  “And before you say it, it’s not because you’re the only single female wolf around. I visited other packs.”

  Her head snapped around. “You did? When?”

  “When I made furniture deliveries in the surrounding states. It’s easy enough to drop by a local bar near where a pack is living. I’ve run into a few wolves, mostly male but some females.” More than one had expressed interest, but something had always held him back. “When I went on a two-week-long camping trip a couple years back, I headed up to Maine and spent some time with a pack there.”

  “I never knew, never suspected.” She sounded hurt.

  “No one did.” Maybe his father did, but he’d never asked.

  “Trust me when I tell you we’ll be good together. Whenever you’re around, I’m hard as a rock.” She glanced at the front of his jeans. There was no hiding his erection. “To put it bluntly, I want to bury my cock so deep you’ll never think about another male, never want to live another day without me. I want your screams of release ringing in my ears, the scratch of your nails down my back, and the taste of your desire on my lips. That’s why I can’t have sex with you. It won’t be just sex for me. It will be a claiming, whether we actually mate or not.”

  He was tired of walking away, of being sensible, of doing what was right. If she didn’t want this, she’d have to be the one to leave. “It’s up to you.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Etienne’s expression was remote, his eyes shuttered in a way they’d never been before, not to her. A heavy scruff covered his jaw, and his dark hair hung around his shoulders. Thumbs stuck in his pockets, legs spread, chest bare, he screamed “bad boy.” Big and hard and tough, he’d be right at home in any outlaw biker gang.

  Her earlier attempt to get him to have sex before they went home seemed somehow cheap compared to what he was offering. He was experienced—more so than she’d imagined.

  Thinking about him being with other women made her slightly ill. She had to grind her teeth together to keep from demanding their names so she could visit them some dark night. Not that he owed her any explanations. All that had happened long before they’d ever shared a kiss.

  Not that it seemed to matter to her or her wolf.

  Tongue-tied—something that never happened—she sorted through her emotions. The choices were black and white to him. She was stuck more in the gray area. Honestly, she was sick and tired of her own indecisiveness. It wasn’t like her at all.

  The air in the room crackled with tension. Finally, he hung his head, huffed out a breath, and reached for his shirt.

  If they went home without making love, she’d always wonder what might have been. It would haunt her to the end of her days. Etienne was a huge part of her life. She couldn’t imagine it without him. They shared so much history—laughter and tears, good times and bad. What they’d gone through the past few days was the start of a new chapter. They’d turned a page, were no longer kids. The emotional wounds they could inflict upon each other weren’t the kind you could heal with a hug and an “I’m sorry.”

  If this didn’t happen, he might leave and she’d lose him forever. What would she do if he decided he was done waiting for her and found a mate in another pack? That he’d already gone looking shook her to her core.

  Panicked, she grabbed the garment before he could pull it over his head. “Amy.” Impatience snapped in his voice. “I’m done playing games.”

  “I’m not playing.” She tossed it aside. “I’m not ready to mate, to make a lifelong commitment, but the thought of being without you, of not having you in my life, is more than I can bear.” He deserved her honesty.

  “Damn it, Amy.” He raked his fingers through his hair. His biceps bulged. The cords of his neck tightened. “Fuck it.” Plucking her off her feet, he tossed her down onto the bed. “I should walk away, but if this might be the only time I’ll have you, I’ll take it.”

  The almost toneless sound of his voice shook her. There was an aloofness about him that sent her nerves jangling. “Etienne.”

  His big body shuddered as he kicked off his shoes and removed hers. “I won’t mate with you. You want sex. You’ve got it, chère. That I can give you, and I promise you won’t have any more doubts about if we’re compatible or not.”

  This was cold, almost clinical. The earlier heat was gone from his eyes, replaced by what might be despair. Had she done that to him? It hurt her soul to think she was the cause.

  Without pausing, he stripped off his jeans. She drank in every hard inch of him, from the chiseled muscles of his chest and abs to his heavy, full shaft. She licked her lips, her entire body tingling with awareness.

  “Last chance.”

  There was no turning back, not this time. She either took a leap of faith, believed in herself and in him, or she lived with regret. Sitting up, she dragged off her shirt before reaching for her bra. His gaze heated, the coldness in it thawing several degrees as she drew the straps down and flung the garment aside. Her nipples puckered under his watchful eyes, and it became difficult to breathe.

  The enormity of what she was about to do settled over her. She’d waited to have sex. There’d been plenty of times over the past weeks she could have taken a man back to her room, but something had stopped her. There was always something not quite right about them. She’d wanted sex to mean something, to matter, to be more than satisfying a biological need. She’d grown up in a pack surrounded by loving couples who had commitment and passion and love.

  Apparently, she wasn’t as liberated as she’d thought. The idea of sleeping with a man to rid herself of her virginity was distasteful.

  Sex with Etienne would mean something. Whatever happened, he was the right man. This was the right time.

  His hands fisted at his sides as she shimmied out of her jeans and underwear. The air in the room was stifling, almost hot. Knowing she’d have to make the final move, she opened her arms and sealed her fate. “Come here.”

  ****

  There was a filter between him and reality, his emotions coated with a layer of ice. It had to be that way if he hoped to maintain some semblance of control. But he resented the hell out of it. He finally had Amy where he wanted her, naked and welcoming, but it was nothing like he’d imagined. Bitterness coated his tongue. The smart thing to do was walk away. To tease himself with what might be and then lose it would be crushing.

  He’d never been a defeatist before. He’d always turned a problem around in his head, examining it from all angles until he discovered a way to get what he wanted.

  This was different. He’d never wanted something this much.

  And she wanted him. That much was clear. The scent of her arousal lingered in the air, along with a hint of fear.

  First time, he reminded himself.

  He put one knee on the mattress and then crawled up the bed until he loomed over her. If sex was what she wanted, he’d make sure it was the best she’d ever have. If it was possible for physical pleasure to tie her to him, he’d do his best to tangle her up so she’d be captured forever.

  “I’ll take care of you,” he promised.

  “I know.” She slid her hands up his arms and around his neck. Her gaze darted to the side. “Ah, so we’re clear, I’ve never done this before.”

  It wasn’t fair for him to be relieved, but he was. “It wouldn’t matter if you had,” he assured her. “This is our first time.” Whatever she’d done with other men, he’d make her forget their kisses and their touch.

  Leaning down, he nuzzled her jaw, loving the way she tilted her head back to give him access. She might not be ready to admit it, but she had deep feelings for him.

  “You always smell amazing.” He dragged the flat of his tongue over the fluttering pulse in her neck.

  “It’s the vanilla in my soap.”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s you. It’s sweeter with a hint of spice.”

  Her nails dug into his shoulders. “You smell like the forest. Like home.”

  He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. That’s what she was to him—home. It was his job to convince her of that. Goal set, a burning hope started in his heart and spread until it engulfed him.

  His cock nestled against her stomach. His balls were heavy and full. It didn’t help that she was subtly undulating beneath him. One false move and he’d come.

  Chaining his lust, he set out to bring hers to new heights. By the time he took her, she’d not only be ready, she’d be begging him for it.

  He feasted on her lips. She eagerly parted them, her tongue tangling with his, not in a battle of supremacy but one of passion. Growling, he nipped at her bottom lip. Not hard enough to break the skin—just enough to give her a jolt. He was no tame human. She’d never experienced a wolf before, but she was about to.

  Leaving her lush mouth, he laid a path of hot kisses down her neck, dragging his tongue over the heavy beat of her pulse. She arched back, eyes closed.

  “Look at me.”

  Her lids fluttered and parted.

  Satisfied, he shimmied lower, making a sound of pure pleasure when he cupped her breasts. The tips were tight buds, begging to be tasted. When he flicked one with his tongue, she drew in a sharp breath.

  “Like that, do you?”

  “Yes.” Her nails dug into his shoulders.

  He drew the turgid nipple into his mouth and sucked. She stiffened beneath him, her entire body rigid. Her natural responses and openness sent flames licking down his spine.

  Reaching down, he cupped her mound, stroking his index finger through her moist heat before dipping inside. Her thready cry made his scalp tighten. She was so damn wet for him. He pushed all the way in.

  “Etienne.” His name fell from her lips, a breathless plea.

  He knew what she wanted and gave it to her. Easing his finger out, he curled it upward, stimulating the rough, sensitive area.

  Hips bucking, she cried out. Her eyes were open but unseeing. Liquid seeped from the tip of his shaft. He closed his eyes and swallowed heavily.

  Not yet. Not yet.

  Working his way down her slender torso, he kissed and nipped, branding her with his touch. Neither of them would ever forget this night. Using his shoulders, he made a place for himself between her thighs. Without pause, he dove right in, dragging the flat of his tongue over her slick folds, tasting her desire.

  Strong fingers tangled in his hair and she yanked. “Now.”

  “Not yet.” She might think she was ready, but he wasn’t taking any chances. He sucked and licked and teased. She bucked so hard she almost knocked him aside. Gripping her thighs, he growled, letting the vibration ripple through her clit. Her cry bounced off the walls. Her thighs trembled. Her body shook until finally she collapsed.

  Etienne shuddered, resting his head on her stomach. The scent of her—the taste of her—made his head spin. This was what it must feel like to be drunk. As a werewolf, his metabolism was so fast that alcohol had barely any affect on him. He’d have to drink copious amounts, and rapidly, to get anywhere near intoxicated—something he’d never felt the need to attempt.

  She shifted her legs, her thighs tightening around him. The desire he’d banked broke free, surging forward like water bursting through a dam. A primal need pulsed inside him. It would be so easy to flip her over, mount her, and mark her as he took her.

  He shook his head, muscles quivering. That would destroy her faith in him forever.

  On a roar, he surged up the bed, gripped one of her legs and pushed it up and out, opening her to him. The head of his shaft pressed against her opening, bathing the tip in her heat. Swallowing heavily, he stared at her as he pushed inside. Her sensitive and swollen inner muscles protested the invasion, and it took some effort to get past the first few inches.

  Her eyes flew open, the sleepy, sated expression replaced by surprise. Sweat had tendrils of hair stuck to her forehead. Her cheeks were rosy, her lips swollen.

  Pausing, he waited for her to adjust. She reached up and rested her hand against his rigid jaw. “I want you.”

  Snap!

  The final tether broke free. Etienne flexed his hips, driving the rest of the way in one stroke. Her sex rippled around him. Her cry brought him to a screeching halt. Had it been one of pain or pleasure? “Amy?” If he’d hurt her, he’d never forgive himself.

  She squirmed beneath him. His eyes rolled back in his head. He had to move. Praying she was with him, he pulled almost all the way out and drove inward. Her sex gripped him so tight he saw stars. His balls were one big ache.

  Losing himself in the heat of her acceptance, he fucked her hard and deep. A part of him was appalled by his lack of finesse, but the primal part only knew pleasure.

  Amy was his. He’d been her first.

  His fangs dropped, the mating urge upon him. He threw his head back, jaw clenched to keep from howling. His orgasm shot up from his balls and rocketed out the tip of his cock. It went on and on. He had barely enough presence of mind to bury his face in the pillow and not her neck. Jagged teeth ripped into the fabric. He rocked his hips, wanting to milk every last drop of pleasure, making sure his pelvis brushed against her core.

  Arching up, she rubbed against him and gave a thin cry. Lightning snapped down his spine as she came. His shaft flexed and another orgasm rocked him. When it was over, he was a boneless heap, lying half on top of her.

  Long minutes passed before his fangs retreated. He swallowed back his resentment. It wasn’t right of him to push his timetable on Amy. His job was to banish all her uncertainty about the rightness of their mating. And if he couldn’t do that? To walk away and never look back.

  “Are we dead?” Her voice was sluggish and slightly bewildered.

  Digging deep, he raised his head and managed to look at her. She was pale and sweaty, her eyes unfocused, but there was a small smile on her lips. “I don’t think so.” Giving a grunt, he pulled out and turned onto his back, dragging her into his arms, not willing to let her go. “How do you feel?” A low-grade tension ran through him. Making love to her was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Would she have regrets?

  “Thoroughly debauched.” Lying on her side, she threw an arm over his chest and a leg over his thighs before nuzzling his pec.

  He waited for her to keep going—Amy was a talker—but she went silent. Not satisfied with a two-word answer, he asked, “Did I hurt you?”

  She shook her head, her hair brushing over his skin. “It was more a surprise than anything. There was a brief pain, but it didn’t last.”

  “There shouldn’t have been any pain. I lost control.” Something he shouldn’t have done. There would only be one first time. He’d wanted it to be perfect for her.

  Her chuckle was unexpected. “I liked that part. You’re always so restrained. It’s intimidating.”

  The covers rustled as he pushed her onto her back and turned on his side so he was looking down at her. “I intimidate you?” That, he wouldn’t believe. She’d been teasing him and running around behind him since they were kids.

  She wrinkled her nose. “You don’t intimidate me, per se, but you always seem to know what you want and how to get it. You’re focused, I guess, is a better way to put it. I’ve always flitted through life, doing whatever appeals to me in the moment.”

  “What’s wrong with that?” He nudged several strands of hair off her face, trying to follow the train of conversation. Not easy when all he wanted to do was take her again. His shaft was already erect and ready. “There’s a joyousness to the way you live that I envy.”

  “Really?” Her frown suggested she wasn’t convinced.

  “I don’t remember a time I wasn’t planning what I wanted to do next and how to achieve it. It’s the way I am. My parents worry about me. Hell, I do, too. The innate drive to protect everyone around me could swallow me whole if I let it. You bring light to my life. Ever since we were kids, you taught me that sometimes you do things for the simple joy of it, for the laughter. You’re a gift, Amy. You bring so much to all our lives, and it kills me that you don’t see the value in it because there’s not some grand goal at the end and it doesn’t have a monetary value attached to it. If you’re searching for purpose, there’s no greater one than what you bring to the pack simply by being yourself.”

  He was rarely so open with his thoughts, choosing to watch and listen rather than speak. But these were things she needed to hear. It might be the only time in his life he was unguarded enough to tell her.

  Her eyes filled and a tear slipped down her cheek. Groaning, he nuzzled her temple. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” He should have kept his mouth shut.