All I could do was laugh. “I see where I get it from.”

  She grinned. “You certainly do get it from me. A word of advice, love?”

  I nodded. “Yeah?”

  “Just love her the best you can. You’re spending a lot of time worrying about the right thing or the wrong thing, or what to do about this and that. Just love her the best you can and have a little faith in her, because so far, she’s proven pretty amazing. That’s it. Off you get.”

  I tried to help her stand up. “Nope. I’m just going to watch my shows on the phone. East showed me how. Downloaded some apps. I can watch telly from all over the world now.”

  “Oh boy.”

  “There’s a new South African soap opera. I’m obsessed.”

  I laughed. “Can I at least have one of the girls bring you up something softer to sit on?”

  She snorted. “That would imply that I’m old. Go on, go find your wife. I’ve got this one.”

  I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you, Mum.”

  “I know. I am pretty amazing.”

  I shoved my hands in my pockets as I walked down the hall, trying to determine what I was going to say to Emma. Because collapsing at her feet and blubbering was not quite the mood I was trying to set.

  Chapter Six

  Emma

  To say I was hiding from my husband was the understatement of the year. Luckily, we were at Ben and Livy's, so there were plenty of places to hide. Hell, they had three subterranean floors. So I was just going to stay down by the pool and try not to think about how angry Bridge was at me.

  I would try not to think about the lecture that was waiting for me.

  I would try not to think about the possibility of him leaving me.

  It was the last one that sliced through my heart. What would I do? Who would I be? He'd been the one constant in my life. The healing I could depend on. But if he left me, I would break.

  You will not break. You are too strong to break.

  I knew he was angry. The whole drive home, he'd held on to Darcy so tight, and that was good. He should. He was like her father. Once or twice he'd reached over to me, taken my hand, and squeezed it. But his eyes had been remote. Distant. And I knew it was not going to be good. I had really, really fucked up.

  Well, she was home, and that was all that absolutely fucking mattered. She was home and safe. Whatever the hell else happened, it was well worth it. And would I do it again? One hundred percent, yes.

  I was still wearing the terry cloth robe I'd been given earlier by Liv. And as I sat with my feet dangling in the water, kicking about, I tried to calm my mind. Sleep had been impossible. Especially without Bridge. Not that I wasn't exhausted. A part of me wanted to climb into the jacuzzi at the end of the pool, slide in and dunk myself, letting the warm water soothe my aching muscles. But I knew I would slip and likely drown because I was so exhausted. So it was feet in the warm bath water of the pool, but no submersion, because if I was going to die, I was going to force Bridge to choke me out.

  Now that could be sexy.

  I wrinkled my nose. I never really understood breath play. Didn't we all have a fundamental need and urge to survive and live? That fine line never really appealed to me. Him tugging on my hair, though, now that was a fantasy I could get behind.

  I heard footsteps on the stairs and assumed Liv had come to check on me for the umpteenth time. She hadn't slept much either. She'd made three trips to the fridge and came down with things like marshmallow S'mores, raspberry crumble ice cream, and the last time was brownies that she’d just baked. I didn't know what was keeping her up, but the way she was eating… Damn, I wished I could do that.

  Earlier I could have sworn I heard her one floor above, even though I knew the place was soundproof. Maybe that was the theater. I'd thought I heard the mumble of a movie playing and checked the time. It had been two in the morning. It seemed like I wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. And then I could have sworn I heard a moan, but no way was I going to check on it and see what was happening. Ben and Liv were notorious. The two of them would fuck just about anywhere.

  But they weren’t as bad as East and Nyla.

  Well, East and Nyla like to be watched. So that was a whole other thing. I had seen way too many bare asses of my friends.

  "You are one hard woman to find."

  My head whipped around when I realized it was Bridge. My heart jumped into action. "Darcy, is she okay?"

  He nodded. "Yeah, she passed out. Doc gave her a sedative, just in case."

  I breathed a deep sigh of relief, not sure what to do with the flood of adrenaline in my blood. "Okay, that's good. She'll at least get some rest."

  "He's left another sedative upstairs if you want one."

  I shook my head. "No. I'm just going to sit here and stay up for a while."

  "Well, if we stay up much longer, it will be breakfast already. You want pancakes?"

  I shook my head again. "No... I-I don't know. I just want to sit here for a moment."

  He walked over and then paused right next to me. I held my breath, not sure how long the lecture was going to be, but bracing myself for it, nonetheless. I was surprised when instead of a lecture, his shirt fell next to me. And then I watched him unbuckle his trousers, his gaze directly on mine, never leaving. I heard the clink of the metal, the sshk, sshk sound as he pulled his belt through the loops, and then he dropped it next to his shirt. Then he dropped his trousers. He was shoving away the cargo pants of the tactical gear that he'd put on. And then naked as the day he was born, he dove in.

  There was barely a splash as his enormous body sliced through the water. He looked every bit the fashion model as he sluiced the water away from his face with his hands. The pool was lit, so I had perfect access and view of his… Well, okay then. He was erect. Fully hard. Cock brushing against his belly button.

  I swallowed hard. "Bridge?"

  "Get in the water, Ems."

  I shook my head. "Nope, I'm not going to give you the opportunity to drown me."

  He swam over. And it was then that I realized that the water was shallow on the sides, deeper in the middle. "I said, get in the fucking water."

  I shook my head yet again. "I know you're mad, but I couldn't do nothing. I'm sorry. If you’ll just…"

  His fingertips clamped on my thighs hard. "I don't think I stuttered. Emma, get in the fucking water, now."

  I stubbornly lifted my chin. There was no way in hell I was going to take orders.

  "Will you wait just a minute? I recognize that I scared you. I recognize what I did was reckless. Dangerous. And you have every right to be angry with me. But—"

  My argument was cut off because his firm hands scooped my arse and pulled me closer to the edge. And then one of those hands roughly undid the knot of my robe. Then he tugged it off my shoulders and pulled me in. The camisole and shorts I had on left nothing to the imagination once the water hit the satin. They molded to my body, and he glowered at me.

  "Next time I tell you to get in the fucking water, get in the goddamn water."

  I scowled up at him. "I don't care how mad you are. You don't talk to me like that."

  "Like what?"

  "Like you want to scare the shit out of me. Or like 'I fucking love you, and I lost ten years of my goddamn life once I found out you were gone.' Or maybe it's the part where you told me to fucking wait? Look, I get it. I fucked up. All I could think about was that I couldn't watch you go blank. And so I did the thing I thought would solve it."

  His gaze dipped down to my lips and then to my breasts. The scowl stayed in place. "You don't get it. You are the most infuriating, stubborn, mule-headed woman I have ever met in my goddamn life. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I need to fucking apologize to whatever side of karma got me here, because goddamn, it's like you're deliberately trying to kill me."

  "I'm not doing it on purpose. I just knew Middleton wanted me. Those goons that he hired, I knew they weren't going to hurt me. So I bargained my life for hers. And I would do it again."

  He growled then, and his hands tightened on my waist. "If you ever say that shit again, I swear to God, I will turn you over my knee and give you the spanking of a lifetime."

  I blinked rapidly. "If you spank me, we are going to have a fucking problem."

  "You want to fight me, Ems?"

  I cocked my head. "You want to fight me, Bridge?" I asked, mimicking him.

  "Yes. There's a part of me that is desperate to fight you."

  I stared him down. "So what are you going to do about it?"

  He lifted me back up on the ledge of the pool before pulling down my shorts. He pulled my camisole off next, and I frowned at him. "Didn't you just say you wanted to spank me?"

  "We'll get to that. See, there's another part of me. One that wants to worship at the altar that is Emma fucking Varma. What you did, I can never repay. Losing Darcy would have gutted me. Completely gutted me. But losing you?" He shook his head. "I wouldn't have come back from that. You are my soul. And I don't know why you don't even realize how much you fucking own me, but you do. And thinking that I would never hold you again, never touch you again, never…" He drew me back down into the pool, the cool water around me more than comfortable. "I couldn't live. I c-couldn't. You cannot scare me like that again."

  My heart broke. "Bridge, I wasn't trying to scare you. I just knew that you would argue with me and… Ugh. I know it was dumb. It was foolish. All I could think about was getting Darcy back for you because I couldn't stand to see you hurting. So I did something very, very dumb. But I knew East was tracking me. I just couldn't risk you guys coming to get me before I had her. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

  He crushed me to his chest then, our naked bodies molding against each other. Our desperation taking hold as he pulled me into the water. His lips slammed down hard on mine, giving me promises of passion, and need, and lust, and terror. I could taste the desperation and anger in his kiss, but mostly, it was the fear and need.

  As he kissed me, I wrapped my legs around his waist. He tore his lips from mine and whispered, "That's it. I need to be inside that sweet pussy, because it's mine. Do you understand me?"

  "Are you asking me or telling me?" I asked on a breathless whisper.

  He nipped my bottom lip with his teeth. "I'm telling you." And then he drove deep.

  A gasp fell from my lips and oh God…

  Bridge crushed me against the side of the pool, and I held on to him as tight as I could as I braced myself for what was to come. This was not lovemaking. It was fucking. This was the definition of desperation. And the best kind of punishment.

  He was furious. And scared. I knew he was having mixed emotions. Wrapping a hand in my hair, he fisted it then yanked my head back as his teeth scoured along my neck. All the while, he kept the pace going. "You are never to do that to me again. Otherwise, I swear to fucking God, I will chain you to me and you will never leave."

  A thrill rushed through my veins. "As if you could do that."

  With a barely restrained growl, he did the unexpected. Picked me up and pulled out, making sure I felt the dragging ache of his withdrawal. And then he turned me over before bringing one firm hand down hard on my arse.

  I screamed. "Bridge!"

  He did it again. And again. And then he flipped me back over before sinking back in to the hilt. His groan was more of a feral growl through clenched teeth. "Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Fucking mine. Never again will you hurt what's mine."

  “Fuck me, Bridge.”

  The pace was punishing. And at this angle, every drive forward brought his pelvic bone against my clit, making me shudder. "If you fucking come, I won't let you come again for a week."

  "You can't stop me," I argued.

  "Can't I?" He pulled out again and gave me another firm hand on my arse. The problem was that the spankings were hardly punishment. They were just making me wetter, hotter, making me want to fly apart. And then he brought me down to his thick cock again, and all I could do was groan deep and score my fingernails into his shoulders in my vain attempt to hold on for dear fucking life. He bit my neck, my collarbone, my shoulders, onto my jaw line. Little marks that I would feel tomorrow.

  And just when I was ready to go again, the impending orgasm making my body quake around him, he pulled out with a growl. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

  I gasped. I was half in the water, half out. “I'm desperate for relief. Bridge, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

  He turned me around, and my hands and my breasts were braced against the edge of the pool.

  He reached for his trousers and pulled something out. I saw what it was. Lube. I glanced at him over my shoulder. "What's that for?"

  "Oh, you know."

  The water was shallow enough where we were standing, and I held my breath. "Bridge, if you'd just let me come first, I think I could—"

  "I don't know what part of this you don't understand, but you're not coming until I tell you to. Spread your legs."

  I gasped. "Bridge…"

  He leaned in close, his teeth dangerously close to my ear. "I said, spread your fucking legs. Do you understand?"

  I nodded. Then he tossed the bottle of lube down next to me. "Now, if you want me to stop, just tell me, and I will stop." He waited. He didn't push me. But I could feel his heat. I felt his hand digging into my hip. "I need it. Tell me what you need, Ems."

  I could still hear the anger in his voice.

  "I need your cock."

  "Where do you want it?"

  I hiccupped even as my body started to vibrate with desperate need. "My arse. In my arse. I need you to fuck my arse."

  "Because you asked so nicely." When he guided the tip of his erection to my arse, I did the one thing I knew I shouldn't. I clenched, and he bit my ear. When I gasped, my whole body relaxed, and he murmured, "That's a good girl."

  With the initial push, I took a deep breath, willing my body to relax, and it was so simple this time. Because I knew how good he could make me feel. Inch by inch. When he retreated, I gasped as my nerve endings tingled and my knees quaked. Oh God, so good. Why did it feel so good?

  He took his time. Slide and retreat. Slide and retreat, until he was seated deep inside me. One hand snaked around to my clit. He dropped his forehead to the back of my neck. "Oh my God, it's so good. You feel so good, Emma."

  His teeth grazed my flesh again as he fucked me. His other hand slid up my belly, over my ribs, cupping my breast, squeezing gently, pinching my nipples, rolling them between his thumb and forefinger. "I just need this right now. Next time, I'm taking you to the bed, and I'll show you how much I love you."

  "I can feel it now," I whispered. And it was true.

  He retreated all the way out and then slid all the way back into my arse with a smooth glide. "How about that? Can you still fucking feel how much I love you?"

  His fingertips slid over my clit, the lube doing its job as my body started to shake. "Bridge, oh God. It's too much."

  He stilled immediately. "Am I hurting you?"

  I shook my head. "No. God, don't stop. Please don't stop."

  I could almost feel the grin in his voice. "Please don't stop what?"

  I swallowed hard, a pant ripping from my throat. "Please don't stop fucking my arse."

  "You're the bad girl who likes it?"

  "Yes. Oh my God, yes."

  He moaned low against the shell of my ear. "I love that you like it. Because I think about this at least once a day, and God, your arse is perfection, Emma. Absolutely fucking perfect. So goddamn tight."

  I was so close.

  The way he was tickling my clit, I was not going to last. And he could feel it. Feel me getting ready to explode, and he stopped.

  "What did I tell you, Emma?"

  I sobbed. "You're so cruel.”

  "Yes, but then I could have told you that a long time ago."

  "Please, Bridge. God, please, just fuck me."

  "No. Not right now."

  But then I did something I never really considered doing before. I focused my mind and tightened every muscle in my pelvic region.

  Behind me, he cursed. "Fffuuuuuck. What the fuck was that?"

  "You're not the only one who can torture."

  He cursed again. Picking up his pace. "Emma, you are in so much trouble."

  "I know. But we're a team.”

  When he started chanting my name in a low growl, whispering in my ear things like, ‘you’re fucking mine,’ and ‘never letting you go,’ and ‘I fucking need you,’ and ‘never leaving this tight arse,” I couldn't help it. And he didn't stop me this time.

  As his fingers pressed tightly down on my clit in hard short strokes, he bit my shoulder. Not in a playful way, but in a way that felt like a brand and certainly one that was going to leave a mark. And then I screamed my orgasm.

  He roared behind me, and I could feel the hot jets of his release deep inside me. As he eased from my body gently, he didn't say much. He climbed out of the pool first and then helped me out, gently wrapping me in my robe before taking me to one of the loungers in a darkened corner. "Are you okay?" His voice was rough and choked.

  I nodded slowly. "I think so. I'm pretty sure I can't walk though."

  He smirked at that. "Good, now you can't run away when I do this."

  I frowned up at him. "How can you go again?"

  But he wasn't going. Instead, he angled me on the settee, my thighs spread on either side of the lounger. And then he leaned forward. Before he pressed his lips to my clit, I could feel his breath on me, and I gasped. "I'm not sure I can after… Wow."

  He grinned. "I know those were supposed to be sentences, but someone gave me really good advice that when the woman you know you can't live without sacrifices herself for you and your wellbeing, you plant yourself between her thighs and you don't stop. Ever. So, that's what we're going to do right now, okay?"

  "How can you even think about that right now?"

  He smirked. "We'd been over this. I'm cis, hetero, and my wife is fucking delectable. I was working out some things in the water. But now… Now I'm going to take care of you, okay?"