Heather texted: Thank you for giving me an update. I’ll say prayers for Evelyn. I’m still at her house but I think I’ll go home now. Okay?

  Ross texted: K.

  “Oh, for God’s sake!” Heather said aloud. Could her son not be bothered to type in the entire four-letter word? Would the coming generations be communicating in single capital letters? Already punctuation seemed headed for extinction.

  “All right,” Heather said aloud. “Let’s go home.”

  She scanned the coffee table, now cleared of glasses and papers. Everything was in place. Except Evelyn. Evelyn should be here.

  She knew she should leave, but an invisible force, almost like an instinct, kept her there, as if she hadn’t done enough, as if there was something she needed to understand.

  There were times in life, she thought, reasonable, expected times, for things to happen. A girl knew things were different, she was different, when she got her first period. A woman could fall in love and marry at almost any time, but when she discovered she was pregnant, she stepped onto a new path. When she gave birth. Again, when she hit menopause. When her parents died. When her children became adults. When she died.

  These phases of life were a physical law, like, well, like gravity. And healthy, active, first-world-wealthy women like Evelyn lived to be at least ninety, maybe one hundred. Women like Evelyn did not die at, what, forty-seven?

  Heather closed her eyes and replayed the few moments when Evelyn’s face changed.

  Evelyn’s face had registered shock. Pain. Terror.

  For a good minute, Heather had stayed with Evelyn, wanting her simple human presence to keep Evelyn from feeling so alone, while at the same time wanting to run from the room to scream for Kailee to come. She’d called out to Kailee. Kailee had rushed into the room, and Heather’s panic had calmed, a bit. Kailee would know what to do with Evelyn. All Heather could do was to keep her hand on Evelyn’s back, letting Evelyn’s body know that someone was there to help.

  What more could Heather have done? Should she have tried CPR? She didn’t even know how to do CPR. Should she have laid Evelyn full-out on the pillow, or tried to push her head between her legs? The head between her legs was for dizziness, wasn’t it?

  Why did Evelyn have a heart attack right then? What had they been discussing? What words had passed between them? They hadn’t been fighting, and Heather hadn’t told her some terrible secret.

  How does a person roll back time? How does a person make things right? How does a human heart attack itself, and why?

  Her phone buzzed. She snatched it up without looking at the caller ID and was amazed to hear Miles’s voice.

  He sounded cheerful. “Hey, Heather, what are you doing this evening?”

  “Miles, Evelyn had another heart attack,” Heather told him. “I was with her when it happened. I’m still at the Essexes’ house. I don’t know what to do.”

  “I’m coming over. I’ll take you home. We can get your car later.”

  “I didn’t know what to do,” Heather repeated in a desperate whisper.

  “I’ll be right there,” Miles said. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”

  She had the strangest reaction to his words. An enormous sense of relief flowed through her body. She was not alone.

  twenty-four

  Nantucket Cottage Hospital had been completely renovated, transformed by a ninety-million-dollar shot in the arm. It served the island community well, except in certain cases.

  Kailee sat with Ross in the waiting area. Her mother had been whisked into secret serious rooms by doctors and nurses swathed in white, their faces covered with masks.

  Kailee’s father paced up and down the hall. He and Ross had come directly from the house they were framing, so they were in work clothes, with sunburns on their noses and wood chips caught in their hair. Ross sat with his arm around Kailee. Together they watched Bob walk, his fists clenched as if ready for a fight.

  But it was Kailee’s mother who was fighting, Kailee knew. What had happened to her mother was not just another painful heart attack. It had been a blow, like lightning striking a tree, splitting it into two, an ax slamming into wood, cleaving it right through the core. It had been the hand of a giant from fairy tales reaching down to grasp her mother’s heart and squeeze until it was limp.

  She was terrified that her mother was going to die.

  She was past crying now. She was only waiting, and waiting, caught between fear and hope.

  A doctor strode out of a door and summoned her father. They talked, and the doctor disappeared. Her father faced Kailee and moved toward her, and he looked terrified.

  Bob Essex spoke as if reciting a text from the physician. “She’s had a massive heart attack. They’re medevacing her to Mass General in Boston where they’ll do a kind of open-heart surgery called a coronary artery bypass graft to replace a clogged artery. They probably won’t have to open her chest. They will only need to make a small incision. The surgery will take three to six hours. She’ll be in the ICU for about five days. I’m going up with her. They’ll take only one family member, Kailee. You go home. Ross will wait with you. I’ll let you know everything as soon as I learn it.”

  “Oh, Dad, I’m so frightened for her,” Kailee said.

  Her father took Kailee in his arms and held his daughter tight. He said to Ross, “Take care of her.”

  Ross nodded. “I will, sir.”

  Her father moved Kailee into Ross’s arms, went back down the hallway, and through a door.

  “Do you hear that?” Ross asked her.

  Kailee was trembling, letting her tears fall on his shirt. She could barely hear anything except her frantic heart. “What?”

  “The helicopter blades whirring. The medevac is here.”

  They ran through the hospital and outside to watch the blue sky. For a while, there was only blue, and then the helicopter was moving over their heads, a dark giant dragonfly, headed toward the helipad at Mass General. It moved slowly, determinedly, out of sight, carrying her mother and father.

  Ross asked, “We should go home.”

  Kailee nodded. Her fear had frozen her fingertips, and her mind was numb. She sat quietly while Ross drove them back to Pleasant Street. He held her hand as they walked up the path and into the beautiful house.

  * * *

  —

  The first thing they saw was a note on the front hall table.

  Dear Kailee and Ross, I’ve gone home. Miles picked me up. Please call anytime. XO Heather/Mom

  The house felt enormous and empty.

  Kailee leaned against Ross. “What can we do while we’re waiting?”

  Ross said, “My mom always cleaned the house when she was worried.”

  “Our house is clean right now,” Kailee told him, adding, “Gravity keeps it that way.”

  “What would your mom want us to do?” Ross asked.

  “Seriously? She’d want us to work on ENF.”

  “Well, let’s do it. At least we can open her mail and see if any contributions came in.”

  “Okay. Wait. I’m not so sure. I mean your mom was working on this. She probably has a system.”

  “Want to call my mom?”

  Kailee hesitated. Her mind was foggy, filled with thoughts that darted across her mind, vanishing before she could settle on one. She managed to say, “Yes, I mean, she was here when Mom, when Mom had the heart attack.”

  “She’d want to know how your mother is,” Ross said. “Do you want to call her or should I?”

  Kailee wrung her hands. She let out a hysterical yelp. “Look at me, I’m wringing my hands! This is too hard, Ross. I feel that every time I tell someone, it will make it truer.”

  Ross led Kailee to the living room sofa and eased her down. He sat next to her. “I get it. We can wait.”

  “That’s all we can do, is wait!” Kailee looked helplessly at her own cellphone, and as if responding to her fear, the phone vibrated and buzzed. The caller ID was Maggie. “I don’t want to talk with her,” she told Ross. “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

  “Here’s what we’ll do,” Ross said. “Call your father on my phone. Or text him. Tell him to call this number when he has some news. Then turn off your cell.”

  Kailee nodded. “Good idea.” She took Ross’s phone and started to hit the numbers. She hesitated. “Wait, Ross. It’s like…if I don’t talk to someone, I feel like I’m giving myself some kind of relief and I shouldn’t, I should let my mother have all the relief. Like we have the same emergency help bank account, and if I draw out some, less will be there for her.”

  “You know that’s not logical, right?” Ross asked.

  “What’s not logical is that my forty-seven-year-old mother had a massive heart attack!” Kailee cried.

  She jumped from the sofa and began to pace around the room. “What can I do?” she asked, over and over again.

  Ross’s cell buzzed. “Hi, Mom.”

  Kailee stood still, waiting to hear what Heather had called about, although she knew her father wouldn’t call Heather with the news before he called Kailee.

  Ross said, “She’s had a massive heart attack. She’s been medevaced to Mass General. Bob said she was going into surgery for a coronary artery bypass graft, and he’d call us when he knew anything more.”

  Kailee opened her phone and googled coronary artery bypass graft.

  “Yes, we’ll call you. Mom? I love you.”

  Kailee stared at her fiancé. “She hasn’t heard anything?”

  “No. She went home after the EMTs came and everyone went to the hospital.”

  Kailee clutched her arms, as if trying to keep herself from falling.

  “You told your mother you love her. I don’t know when I’ve told my mom that. Oh, it’s so terrible, I don’t think I’ve told her I love her for weeks, maybe months! Ross, let’s go up to Boston now. Let’s go to the airport and get on the first plane to Boston and get a cab to MGH and find my father and wait with him, and I can tell him I love him, and when Mom comes out of surgery, I can tell her I love her.”

  Ross looked reluctant. “I’m not sure…Listen, Kailee. Why don’t you call Gravity before we do anything else.”

  Kailee yelled, “Are you trying to keep me from being with my mother?”

  “Of course not, Kailee.” Ross walked over and held Kailee, steadying her. “I just think Gravity should know.”

  “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. May I use your phone?” Immediately, she corrected herself. “No, I’ll use mine. She knows my number.”

  Gravity answered in a low, calming voice. “Kailee, I know. Heather called and left a message. Would you like me to come over and wait with you?”

  “No, Gravity, that’s sweet of you to offer, but Ross is here. I wanted to be sure you knew. We won’t know her condition for a while, and then when we do know, we’ll call people.”

  “Drink some lemonade. Or plain water. Not iced tea. You don’t need caffeine. No liquor, either. It will hit you too hard. How is Ross?”

  “He is a rock.” Kailee managed a watery smile at Ross. “Gravity, I’m frightened.”

  “Yes. I am, too. We must pray.”

  “I will. I will pray.” She ended the call. “Ross, I’m going into the other room to pray.”

  Before he could answer, a loud knock sounded on the door.

  Kailee’s fingers went numb. She couldn’t breathe.

  Ross hurried to open the door.

  Dan, with all his strong beauty, said, “Where’s Kailee?” He pushed past Ross and hurried into the house.

  He went to Kailee and put his hands on her arms. “I just heard. I know you don’t want me here, but trust me, it’s better to have lots of people around to soak up the nervous energy. It won’t be fun, but it will make time pass faster while you wait.”

  For a moment, Kailee stopped thinking of her mother while she registered the reality of her gorgeous friend standing there.

  “Ross,” she said, “this is Dan.”

  “I figured,” Ross said. “Hi, Dan.”

  “Hi, Ross,” Dan answered, flashing him a quick smile. “Sorry about barging in, but Kailee has saved my life several times.”

  He focused on Kailee’s face. “Now, we’re going out to your backyard to walk very fast up and down, until we’re breathless. Trust me. Your heart needs this, and it will use up time. Ross can wait by the phone.”

  “How did you know about my mother?” Kailee asked.

  “Kailee, everyone on the island knows. This is Nantucket. Maybe someone at the construction site, or a nurse at the hospital put the word out. Whatever, it is happening right now, and we have to move through it. Come on.”

  “I’ve got the phone,” Ross said.

  Kailee allowed Dan to hold her hand and walk her up and down and up and down the long garden. And it helped. Her heart slowed, and her mind rested, for a moment. There were birds, and sunshine, and flowers with their fragrance, and garden chairs. She could almost see her family sitting there in the early spring, grateful for the warmth.

  She took a long, deep breath. By the time Dan led her back inside, she was physically exhausted and glad to sit on the sofa. She was eager for the news, but not panicked. She was aware of Dan talking with Ross, and that was helpful, too. Somehow, they soaked up some of the fear. They made the afternoon seem more normal. Dan left, and Ross tried to get Kailee to eat a piece of buttered toast, but it made her gag.

  * * *

  —

  It was eight in the evening when Kailee’s father called.

  “Daddy!” she cried. “How’s Mom?”

  Her father didn’t answer immediately, and his silence frightened her. She tried to delay the blow by talking. “Is she still in the OR? Where are you? Have you had something to eat? At least to drink, I don’t mean alcohol, I mean water, you shouldn’t let yourself get dehydrated—”

  “Kailee.” Her father’s voice told her everything.

  “She’s okay, right? She’s okay?”

  “Kailee, we’ve lost her.” Her father’s voice was husky, as if he’d been crying.

  Kailee crumpled to her knees. “No.”

  “She died on the operating table. Her heart seized again. She didn’t recover. They worked on her for ten minutes, but she didn’t make it.”

  “No, Daddy. No.”

  “Give the phone to Ross, please,” her father said.

  Ross took the phone.

  “It’s not true,” Kailee whispered. “It’s a mistake. I need to go up there.”

  Ross said, “I will, sir. Goodbye.”

  Ross came to her side and lifted her to her feet. He settled her on the sofa and sat next to her, keeping his arm around her shoulders.

  “Ross,” Kailee cried, “it can’t be true. It can’t be.”

  “I’m sorry,” Ross said.

  Kailee crumpled against him and howled.

  * * *

  —

  Kailee lost track of time. Nothing made sense. Ross wanted her to go to his apartment and lie down, but she couldn’t move from the sofa.

  “It can’t be true,” she told Ross. “My mother is the strongest woman on the island. She would never let herself leave my father. She would never leave me.”

  Ross sat next to her on the sofa with his arm around her.

  “My mother wants to see our wedding. She wants to see her grandchild. She wants to work for the island. She just would not leave now. They have it wrong. At the hospital. They’ve made a mistake. There are many women named Evelyn. Ross, I can’t believe it.”

  Ross said, “I know, Kailee. I know.”

  “How can I go on, Ross?” Kailee asked. “How do I enjoy the taste of food? Or sex? Or walking on the beach? It will feel like a betrayal of my mother.”

  Ross didn’t answer, but kept his arm around her. It was almost three in the morning when Kailee slid down on the sofa and fell asleep with her head in Ross’s lap.

  She woke with a start. The windows were full of sunlight. Ross’s head was against the sofa cushions as he slept. Several phones were ringing. Her cell. Ross’s cell. The house landline.

  She sat up. Her clothes were wrinkled, her face stiff with dried tears. She ached.

  She heard Gravity in the kitchen. She rose without waking Ross and hurried to Gravity.

  “Gravity. They’re saying my mother died.”

  “Yes, I know, Kailee. Your father is flying home this afternoon. Here, now, drink this.”

  It was a relief to have someone tell her what to do. Kailee took the glass of orange juice and drank it.

  “Thank you, Gravity.” When she handed the glass back to Gravity, she saw that she, too, had been crying. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Go take a shower and put on clean clothes. I’ll answer the house phone. I’ll take juice to Ross and wake him. We’ll get through this, child.”

  I’m not a child, Kailee thought, but gratitude swelled in her heart for Gravity calling her “child.” Right now, she needed that sense of being taken care of.

  The day went forward after that. Kailee showered and dressed. Ross went to his apartment to shower and change clothes. When he returned, he told Kailee that her father had asked him to tell the construction crew to take the next three days off, because of Evelyn’s death.

  In the afternoon, friends came over, knocking on the front door, entering with a plate of shortbread or sweet rolls or a bowl of hard candies, which Maggie said would help, because everyone’s mouth was dry from crying. Other childhood friends stopped by, and her parents’ friends arrived. The women hugged Kailee and told her what a wonderful woman her mother had been and how proud she was of Kailee. The men grouped together, talking in low voices.